The Fly In The Ointment

Happy Thursday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 26 of RIDGEWAY, Cate and Shayla take Halene's trans son Les to a local roadhouse for dinner to offer emotional support, but get accosted by a group of angry, homophobic redneck jocks ...


EXT. SPARKY’S ROADHOUSE - NIGHT
A big, rambling joint that would
make Patrick Swayze proud.

Neon beer signs.
A line of pickup trucks
parked in front,

Cate’s red convertible
the fly in the ointment.

INT. SPARKY’S ROADHOUSE - NIGHT
38 Special on the juke.
Picnic tables and booths abound.

Families, couples, old folks.
More than a few cowboy hats.

Cate and Kayla sit
in a booth with Les.

A CHUBBY WAITRESS (30’s) with
teased hair takes their order.

CHUBBY WAITRESS
(to Les)
And what would you like to drink?

LES
Can I, uh -- get a beer?

Chubby raises her eyebrows.
Shoots Kayla and Cate a look.

HALENE
How about a Coke?

LES
Okay --

CHUBBY WAITRESS
Be back with your
drinks in a sec.

She waddles off.
Kayla looks around.

KAYLA
Well, isn’t this fun.
I haven’t been here in a long time.

CATE
(to Les)
Check out the biker chick over there
with the three-mile hair.
Are those ugly tattoos or what.

Les flashes a hint of a smile. Nods.

A foursome of REDNECK JOCKS (17)
sit down at the next table.

Start fidgeting, chuckling,
adolescent hormones running amok.

BEEFY REDNECK JOCK
Hey. There’s that man-girl.

Les stiffens.
Cate turns and looks.

KAYLA
So, Les.
How’s everything at school?

LES
Okay, I guess.

KAYLA
I remember when I was sixteen,
I was confused about -- who I was.

LES
(low, urgent)
I’m not confused. I’m a boy, and it
freaks my parents the fuck out.
(off Kayla’s reaction)
I know why we’re here tonight.
I’m not stupid.

COWBOY HAT REDNECK JOCK
(loud)
Think she’s gonna get herself
a fake dick?

PIMPLY-FACED REDNECK JOCK
You mean like a strap-on?

They burst into GALES OF LAUGHTER.
Cate WHIRLS around.

CATE
Excuse me. What did you say?

COWBOY HAT REDNECK JOCK
Fuck off, lady.
I ain’t talking to you.

CATE
You were making fun of our friend.

BEEFY REDNECK JOCK
Why don’t you go fuck yourself.

Cate’s face turns red. She gets up.
Grabs the bottle of ketchup.

SMASHES it on the edge of the table.
Jabs the blood-red, jagged,
broken glass in his face.

CATE
What did you say?

Everyone in the restaurant
turns and looks.

PIMPLY-FACED REDNECK JOCK
(to Beefy)
Fucking bitch is crazy.

CATE
Got that right, you fucking
red state NRA-sucking,
Hee Haw piece of white trash.
Apologize to my friend --
before I clean the floor
with your banjo neck.

BEEFY REDNECK JOCK
Fuck you, cunt.

Cate HURLS the bottle across the room.
It SMASHES into a window, SHATTERING it.

GRABS the edge of their table.
FLIPS it over, sending everything
CRASHING to the floor.

The jocks JUMP to their feet,
ready to fight.

Cate LEAPS UP on her table.
Starts BEATING her chest. Then HOWLS.

CATE
AHHH-OOO, AHHH-OOO, AHHH-OOO, AHHH-OOO, --

They stare, wide-eyed.
She smiles, evil.

Puts her hands in front of her
like a dog. Starts BARKING.

CATE
ROOF, ROOF, ROOF, ROOF, ROOF --
(growls)
GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR --

They exchange looks, freaked out.
Get the hell outta there.

The other patrons stare at Cate,
open-mouthed.

CATE
The fuck you looking at?

INT. CATE’S CONVERTIBLE - NIGHT
Cate starts the engine.
Kayla sits in the passenger
seat, still in shock.

Les sits in the back.
Flashes a big grin.

LES
That was fucking COOL --