Fat Factor

Happy Thursday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 4 of THE INVISIBLE GIRL, overweight teen Bettie Bee and her chubby BFF Lonny Schmerzler enjoy their lunch in the school cafeteria ... until a group of popular kids start terrorizing them ...


INT. HIGH SCHOOL CAFETERIA - DAY
The joint is packed with STUDENTS
eating, talking, laughing.

Bettie and Lonny carry their trays
to an empty table. Sit.

LONNY
Cheer up, Bettie.
I’m sure it’ll blow over
in a day or two.

Bettie picks up her burger.
Looks at it. Puts it back down.

BETTIE
Even Brad was in on it.

LONNY
Brad Stifle?
You’ve still got a crush that jerk?

MALE VOICE (V.O.)
WHO’S a jerk?

Reveal Brad Stifle.
Standing next to their table.

With Ready Hand.
And BERT BALL (17),
big, mean and dumb --
and WHIT WIGGINS (17),
tall, thin and very well-groomed.

LONNY
Uh --

Brad GRABS Bettie’s burger
off her plate.

Takes a big bite of it.
THROWS it back down.
Chews violently.

BRAD
Oh, I’m SORRY.
Were you gonna EAT that?
(off her blank stare)
Loved you online last night, Dopey.
I didn’t know Animal Planet
had a show about PIGS.

READY
Sure. Didn’t you hear?
She’s the new spokesperson for BOAR’S HEAD.
Cause she’s got a BOAR’S HEAD.

They HIGH-FIVE.

LONNY
C’mon, guys -- leave her alone.

Bert SLAPS Lonny on the side of the head.

LONNY
OW.

BERT
Who gave YOU permission to speak, fat boy?

WHIT
So when you two fuck, I would imagine
Elephant Girl has to be on top, right?

BRAD
Thanks for the visual, Whit.
I’m gonna spew my tuna melt.

READY
Don’t worry, Brad --
Dumbo here will Hoover it right up.

BERT
What’s a Hoover?

WHIT
What did I tell you about
trying to think, Bert?

BRAD
C’mon, guys.
Let’s blow this feeding trough.
The smell of PORK is starting
to make me sick.

They chuckle.
Turn and leave,
laughing to themselves.

Bettie swallows.
Looks like she’s gonna cry.
She starts to get up.

LONNY
You okay?

BETTIE
I have to go to the ladies’ room --

FEMALE VOICE (V.O.)
Well, look who we have here.
It’s the newest REALITY TV STAR.

Reveal Muffin Heather
and her popular clique.

MUFFIN
Have you heard?
She’s gonna be the new host
of AMERICAN PIE-HOLE.

GRETCHEN VANVOORHIS (17),
hot, tall, thin, Swedish and
horribly blonde smiles nastily.

GRETCHEN
Are you, like sure about that?
I heard she was hosting
MEAL OR NO MEAL.

TILA TRAN (15), Asian, gorgeous
and tiny chimes in.
Eyes sparkling with malice.

TILA
BUZZ. Wrong, my Swedish meatball.
Tubbo here’s gonna be
the star of FAT FACTOR.

RONNIE RODRIGUEZ (17), Latina spitfire,
SNORTS with laughter.

RONNIE
As IF, sista.
She’s gonna be the new host
AMERICA’S GOT VOMIT.

EMERALD GREEN (16),
black and feisty SNAPS her fingers.

EMERALD
You’re ALL wrong -- I heard she’s
gonna star in THE DEADLIEST SNATCH.

MUFFIN
OhmiGOD.
I so can’t believe you just SAID that.

They break into INSANE LAUGHTER.

Bettie LEAPS UP out of her chair
and RUNS AWAY.

PUSH IN ON Lonny’s face.
A tear in his eye.