Fat Factor

Happy Thursday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 4 of THE INVISIBLE GIRL, overweight teen Bettie Bee and her chubby BFF Lonny Schmerzler enjoy their lunch in the school cafeteria ... until a group of popular kids start terrorizing them ...


INT. HIGH SCHOOL CAFETERIA - DAY
The joint is packed with STUDENTS
eating, talking, laughing.

Bettie and Lonny carry their trays
to an empty table. Sit.

LONNY
Cheer up, Bettie.
I’m sure it’ll blow over
in a day or two.

Bettie picks up her burger.
Looks at it. Puts it back down.

BETTIE
Even Brad was in on it.

LONNY
Brad Stifle?
You’ve still got a crush that jerk?

MALE VOICE (V.O.)
WHO’S a jerk?

Reveal Brad Stifle.
Standing next to their table.

With Ready Hand.
And BERT BALL (17),
big, mean and dumb --
and WHIT WIGGINS (17),
tall, thin and very well-groomed.

LONNY
Uh --

Brad GRABS Bettie’s burger
off her plate.

Takes a big bite of it.
THROWS it back down.
Chews violently.

BRAD
Oh, I’m SORRY.
Were you gonna EAT that?
(off her blank stare)
Loved you online last night, Dopey.
I didn’t know Animal Planet
had a show about PIGS.

READY
Sure. Didn’t you hear?
She’s the new spokesperson for BOAR’S HEAD.
Cause she’s got a BOAR’S HEAD.

They HIGH-FIVE.

LONNY
C’mon, guys -- leave her alone.

Bert SLAPS Lonny on the side of the head.

LONNY
OW.

BERT
Who gave YOU permission to speak, fat boy?

WHIT
So when you two fuck, I would imagine
Elephant Girl has to be on top, right?

BRAD
Thanks for the visual, Whit.
I’m gonna spew my tuna melt.

READY
Don’t worry, Brad --
Dumbo here will Hoover it right up.

BERT
What’s a Hoover?

WHIT
What did I tell you about
trying to think, Bert?

BRAD
C’mon, guys.
Let’s blow this feeding trough.
The smell of PORK is starting
to make me sick.

They chuckle.
Turn and leave,
laughing to themselves.

Bettie swallows.
Looks like she’s gonna cry.
She starts to get up.

LONNY
You okay?

BETTIE
I have to go to the ladies’ room --

FEMALE VOICE (V.O.)
Well, look who we have here.
It’s the newest REALITY TV STAR.

Reveal Muffin Heather
and her popular clique.

MUFFIN
Have you heard?
She’s gonna be the new host
of AMERICAN PIE-HOLE.

GRETCHEN VANVOORHIS (17),
hot, tall, thin, Swedish and
horribly blonde smiles nastily.

GRETCHEN
Are you, like sure about that?
I heard she was hosting
MEAL OR NO MEAL.

TILA TRAN (15), Asian, gorgeous
and tiny chimes in.
Eyes sparkling with malice.

TILA
BUZZ. Wrong, my Swedish meatball.
Tubbo here’s gonna be
the star of FAT FACTOR.

RONNIE RODRIGUEZ (17), Latina spitfire,
SNORTS with laughter.

RONNIE
As IF, sista.
She’s gonna be the new host
AMERICA’S GOT VOMIT.

EMERALD GREEN (16),
black and feisty SNAPS her fingers.

EMERALD
You’re ALL wrong -- I heard she’s
gonna star in THE DEADLIEST SNATCH.

MUFFIN
OhmiGOD.
I so can’t believe you just SAID that.

They break into INSANE LAUGHTER.

Bettie LEAPS UP out of her chair
and RUNS AWAY.

PUSH IN ON Lonny’s face.
A tear in his eye.

This Too Shall Pass

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Hump Day. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 3 of THE INVISIBLE GIRL, Bettie confides in her science professor father Bernard about being cyber-bullied by the popular kids at school, to which he gives her valuable advice ...


INT. BETTIE’S HOUSE - KITCHEN - MORNING
Quaint. Homey. Stuffed with
every cooking utensil imaginable.

Standing over the stove cooking is
BERNARD BEE (50’s), Bettie’s father.

Quintessential absent-minded professor.
Shock of white hair.
Kindly eyes. A bit plump.

Right now he’s softly whistling.
He tastes the sauce in the pot
with a wooden spoon.

BERNARD
Mmm. Eat my shorts, Rachel Ray.

Bettie trudges into the kitchen sadly.
Sits at the table. Sighs.
Bernard turns around. Sees her.

BERNARD
There’s my princess. Good MORNING.
(beat)
Why so glum?

Pause.

BETTIE
I’m being -- cyber-bullied.

BERNARD
Cyber-bullied?

BETTIE
I’m being bullied -- online.

BERNARD
I don’t understand.
How can someone bully you
on the interwebs?

BETTIE
Someone shot a video of me
eating ice cream last night
and POSTED it on Friendbook.
Then everybody made COMMENTS
on it and MADE FUN OF ME.

She drops her head.
Sniffles back tears.

BERNARD
Oh, dear.

He comes over. Sits down.
Looks at her with love in his eyes.

Softly touches her chin.
She looks up at him sadly.

BERNARD
Darling, they’re just kids.
Ignore them. Turn the other cheek.
I know it might not seem
like it now, but this too shall pass.
Believe it or not, there IS
life after high school.

BETTIE
I know --

BERNARD
Many of the greatest minds
on the planet weren’t
understood in their youth --
(beat)
I was beaten up
every day after school,
and look how I turned out.

He spreads his arms.
His bathrobe falls open.

We see he’s wearing
hot pink boxer shorts.

BETTIE
(giggles, embarrassed)
Dad.

Bernard looks down. Horrified.
Ties his robe closed.

BERNARD
Your mother got me those --
(beat)
I know what you need --
some breakfast.
Just WAIT until you
taste my pasta sauce.

BETTIE
But, Dad.
Nobody eats pasta for BREAKFAST.

BERNARD
Well, darling -- we’re not
just anybody, are we?

Super Size Me

Happy Tuesday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 2 of THE INVISIBLE GIRL, overweight teenage nerd Bettie Bee is surprised that her obese BFFF Lonny Schmerzler asks her to be his date for the prom, and lets him down gently. Later that night, Bettie is horrified to find out that the popular kids posted a video on social media of her shoveling ice cream into her mouth ...


INT. BETTIE’S HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
Bettie picks up the remote.
PUNCHES the TV off.

Shakes her head with wonder.
Digs a big spoonful of ice cream
from the container.
Shovels it in. Swallows.

BETTIE
That’s my favorite movie EVER.

Lonny picks up the last slice of pizza.
Folds it in half lengthwise.
Puts it up to his mouth --
LONNY
It was too scary.
I like funny movies.

And INHALES it.
Bettie watches him. Impressed.

BETTIE
You could win a contest.

He BURPS. Smiles happily.
Tries to get up off the couch.

LONNY
Yeah, well. Anyway. I gotta split.

Lonny tries to lurch forward.
No go. Bettie gets up.

Offers him a hand.
He looks at it, upset.

LONNY
I can do it. Hold on --

He STRUGGLES to move. Bettie sighs.

BETTIE
C’mon, Lonny. We always go through this.
It’s okay. Nothing to be embarrassed about.

Strains to get up. No go.

LONNY
Shit.

BETTIE
Lonny, C’MON.

GRABS her hand. She helps him get up.

LONNY
Thanks.

BETTIE
You can pick the movie next time, okay?

He nods. Looks at her shyly.

LONNY
Uh --

BETTIE
What’s wrong?

LONNY
Nothing.
(beat)
I was wondering if --
(beat)
Uh -- nothing.

BETTIE
What?

LONNY
If you’d, uh --
(beat)
Go to, uh -- the prom with me.

BETTIE
Oh gosh, Lonny.
(off his crestfallen look)
Can I -- think about it?

PUSH IN ON Lonny’s face. Deflated.

LONNY
Yeah, sure.
(beat)
Take your time.

INT. BETTIE’S BEDROOM - NIGHT
Swooning teenage girl decor run riot.
JUSTIN BIEBER and TWILIGHT posters.

Science fair and mathlete
prize-winning ribbons.

Odd random stuff. A globe.
Bust of Einstein.

Bettie sits at her desk
in her jammies, ready for bed.

She CLICKS a bookmark with her mouse,
and we see on the screen --

FRIENDBOOK
A social networking site.
She has a TON of posts on
her personal page.

And a link to a video.
She CLICKS on it.

THE VIDEO
Pops up. We see hand-held footage
of Bettie shoveling ice cream
in her mouth in slow-motion.
Eyes glued to the TV.

BETTIE’S
Mouth OPENS.

BETTIE
What the HELL?

She reads the caption below the link:

NOT ABLE TO FIND A MATE,
THE HIPPO WILL FEED UNTIL IT BURSTS.

BETTIE
WHAT?
Tears in her eyes, she starts
reading the posts.

BETTIE
Just got a call from Baskin Robbins.
They said they’re down to three flavors --
(beat)
Muffin Heather? That BITCH.
(reads another one)
Would you hit it?
Yeah, with a two-by-four!
(gasps)
LOL! Now that’s what I call super-sized.
(gasps)
Is it true you use a mattress
for a tampon? LMFAO!

She SLAPS the smart phone closed.
Tears start pouring down her cheeks.

She gets up. JUMPS into bed.
Pulls the covers over her head.
Starts softly SOBBING.

Anti-Social Media

Hey there, crime kids. Happy X. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 1 of THE INVISIBLE GIRL, overweight teen Bettie Bee watches TV with her best friend, the rotund Lenny Schmerzler, both of whom are stuffing their faces with sweets, but what they don't realize is a group of popular kids are videotaping them and fat-shaming them online ...


EXT. SUBURBAN HOME - NIGHT
Crickets CHIRP over --

A small, quaint Craftsman bungalow
with a white picket fence.

One of a row of such homes
safely nestled on a bucolic,
picture-perfect suburban side street.
The stuff of bland.

INT. SUBURBAN HOME - LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
A young GIRL (16) and BOY (16)
sit on opposite ends of a
big, sloppy couch watching
a movie on TV.

He’s got a pizza on his lap.
She’s got a giant container
of ice cream on hers.

GIRL
KILL ‘em. Kill ‘em ALL.

Meet BETTIE BEE.
A bit on the chubby side.

If it weren’t for her large ears
that stick out like fins,
she’d be quite cute.

The braces don’t help.
Neither does the short,
pixie haircut.

BOY
(hands in front of his eyes)
Let me know when it’s OVER --

Meet LONNY SCHMERZLER.
‘Fat’ would be a compliment.

His girth threatens to
overpower the couch.

Bettie’s best -- and only friend.
He sneaks a look between pudgy fingers.

LONNY
Oh my GOD.

BETTIE
But this is the best PART.

She SHOVELS IN a mouthful of ice cream --

BETTIE
(burbles)
Carrie gets REVENGE.

And as she speaks, some of it
DROOLS onto her chin.

ON THE TV
We see the climactic
prom scene from CARRIE.

Sissy Spacek is covered in BLOOD --
and is KILLING all the students
that teased her with telekinetic powers.

A FIRE HOSE rises up like a snake
and SHOOTS WATER at them --
causing the kids to FLY into the walls.

EXT. BETTIE’S HOUSE - FRONT YARD - NIGHT
Hiding in the bushes
is a YOUNG KID (17),
aiming a smart phone
at the living room window,
videotaping them.

Meet READY HAND,
a fresh-scrubbed,
good-looking jock type.

ON THE PHONE
We see ice cream drip
down Bettie’s chin.

READY (O.C.)
(whispers)
Sweet.

INT. ANOTHER SUBURBAN HOME - BEDROOM - NIGHT
Another JOCK (17) watches the
video stream on his smart phone.
Chugs a can of Lite Ice Draft.

Meet BRAD STIFLE, captain
of the football team.

You know -- and hate --
the type too well.

BRAD
This is fucking AWESOME.

His cell phone CHIRPS.
He picks up. Listens.

BRAD
Ready? Yeah. I’m watching it --
(listens)
I know. Anti-social media.
(listens)
EVERYBODY’S watching it? NICE.

INT. SUBURBAN GIRL’S BEDROOM - NIGHT
Done up like some kind of
Hello Kitty nightmare from hell.

And who the hell has a
George Michael poster anymore?

Watching the stream on her phone
is MUFFIN HEATHER (17),
the most popular girl in school.

Heartbreakingly beautiful.
And mean as a junkyard dog.
She brays into her smart-phone.

MUFFIN
OMG. It’s feeding time at the ZOO.
(listens)
I KNOW. The fat leading the FAT.
(listens)
The White Precious? LMAO.
I SO did not hear you SAY that.
(looks at her phone)
Got another call, BRB --

Rocky Mountain High

Happy Thursday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In the final chapter of RIDGEWAY, Cate escapes from the cops by running up the mountain on a gravel road that leads to her house, goes inside, sits on the living room couch, exhausted ... then starts counting the cash she made from doing the hit and gets a nasty surprise when a bag of white powder falls out ...


EXT. PARKS AND RECREATION BUILDING - PARKING LOT - NIGHT
A small affair with a gravel road
heading up the mountain behind it.

Cate runs over.
Looks at the sign.

CATE
I don’t fucking believe it.

EXT. FULLER STREET - NIGHT
Spooky in the dim light
coming from houses at the
top of a ridge on either side.

A siren WHOOPS.

Cate JUMPS off the road,
tumbles down into a gulley,
just as another POLICE SUV
comes ROARING by in a
CRUNCH of gravel.

She climbs back up.
Sees it’s gone.

Then starts RUNNING.

EXT. FULLER STREET - MOUNTAIN TOP - NIGHT
Cate makes it to the top, exhausted.
Sees her house on the corner.
Starts trudging toward it.

INT. KAYLA’S APARTMENT - KITCHEN - NIGHT
Cate lurches to the sink.
Splashes cold water on her face.

Leans against the counter.
Every muscle in her body on fire.

Gingerly walks over
to the bedroom doorway.

Sees the lights are out.
And Kayla, sound asleep.

Goes back to the kitchen counter.
Grabs a bottle of whiskey.

Pours a shot. Downs it.
Pours another.

Does a third
for good measure.
Wipes her mouth.

Grabs the bong.
FIRES it up.

Sucks down a big hit.
Holds it in a long beat.

Then BLOWS out the smoke. Sighs.
Grabs the bong. The bottle.
Shot glass. Pads into --

INT. KAYLA’S APARTMENT - LIVING ROOM - CONTINUOUS
Plops down on the couch.
Pulls out the wad of bills.
Starts counting it.

A small glassine envelope
filled with white
powder falls out.

Hits the table
with soft thwap.

CATE
Holy shit.

She dumps it onto
the coffee table.

Cuts a big, fat line.
Leans over. SNORTS it.

Her eyes grow wide.
Then glassy.

CATE
That’s not coke --

FADE TO BLACK

Ozark Mountain Daredevil

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Hump Day. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 29 of RIDGEWAY, after killing the bear, Cate gets chased down the mountain by a pair of cops, one of whom almost gets her ...

EXT. MOUNTAIN RIDGE ROAD - NIGHT
A POLICE SUV slowly comes
down the gravel road, search light
sweeping through the woods.
Pulls to a stop.

IN THE CAR
A pair of local COPS
exchange glances.

OLDER, FAT COP
Gunshots.

YOUNGER, BEARDED COP
(points)
Came from down there.

OLDER, FAT COP
Fuck it, Rady.
We’re gonna get all wet.

RADY
Gotta dead body back there, Grab.

EXT. MOUNTAIN RIDGE ROAD - NIGHT
The cops get out. SLAM the doors.
Switch on HIGH-BEAM FLASHLIGHTS.

Start heading down the steep canyon,
sweeping big, bright beams of light
through the woods.

AT THE BOTTOM
Cate stares at the dead bear.
In shock. Soaked to the bone.

The rain starts letting up.
Sees the lights approaching.

Starts high-tailing it up the hill
in the opposite direction.

THE COPS
Start racing down the hill,
flashlights bobbing.

GRAB
Somebody’s down there.

RADY
STOP, POLICE.

They get to the bottom.
See the dead bear. Stop.

RADY
Holy shit.

GRAB
Go get ‘em.
I’ll call it in.
Catch up with ya later.

Rady nods.
Starts heading up the hill.

CATE
Huffs and puffs.
Makes it to the top.

Out of breath.
Turns around. Looks down.

Sees Rady’s light
heading her way.

CATE
Shit.

Pushes through the foliage.
Arrives at a two-lane paved road
that snakes around in a tight U,
then heads up the hill.

An ancient Parks and Recreation
building sits at the turn,
lit by a lone, Victorian-era
street lamp.

She looks up the long road
that snakes up the mountain.

CATE
Fuck that.

RACES toward the building,
just as Rady appears on the road.

Sees her go behind the building.
Pulls out his gun.

RADY
STOP, POLICE.

GRABS his radio --
as he RUNS after her.

RADY
Got ‘em cornered.
Call for backup.
I’m at the bottom of Ellis Grade,
in front of the parks
and recreation building.

He approaches the side
of the building. Stops.

RADY
I know you’re back there.
If you come out nice and easy,
you won’t get hurt.
(listens)
Back-up’s on the way.
Might as well give yourself up.

Cate comes RACING around the corner.
CRACKS Ray on the head with
the flat side of a shovel.

He goes down, THWUMP.
She RUNS toward
the tiny parking lot in back --

Gentle Ben

Happy Tuesday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 28 of RIDGEWAY, after doing a hit for the Dizie mob, Cate hears an approaching police siren, panics and runs through the woods across the mountain top ... and runs right into a huge grizzly bear ...


EXT. MOUNTAIN ROAD - NIGHT
Cate walks down the hill,
boots CRUNCHING on the gravel road.

Hears a siren WHOOP-WHOOP.
Then sees red lights FLASHING.

Starts trying to RUN back up,
but quickly gets winded from
years of too many cigarettes.

She turns, RUNS into the woods --
just as a COP CAR comes
RACING up the road.

EXT. MOUNTAIN SLOPE - NIGHT
Cate DASHES across the steep hillside
through the underbrush and trees.

Stops. Catches her breath. Looks around.
Listens to the crickets CHIRPING.

She hears a twig SNAP. WHIRLS AROUND.
Sees a FAMILY OF DEER.

Momma, Poppa and two young ones.
Staring at her.

CATE
(whispers)
Wow.

They DASH OFF into the darkness.

EXT. MOUNTAIN GORGE - NIGHT
Cate stands at the top of a gorge.
Looks down at the valley far below.

A woodpecker TAP-TAP-TAP-TAPS
like a machine gun.

CATE
SHIT.

She JUMPS, then TUMBLES
down the steep hill --
and CRACKS into a tree at the bottom.
Gets up. Brushes herself off.

Hears a low GROWL.
A GIANT BLACK BEAR
emerges from the foliage.

Flashes HUGE WHITE TEETH.
She stiffens. Shaking with fear.
This ain’t Gentle Ben.

They stare at each other a long beat.
The beast suddenly REARS UP
on its hind legs, ROARS --
and starts CHASING her.

She SCREAMS. Starts climbing
the tree like she’s on fire.

GRABS at a branch above her,
but it SNAPS off.

The beast SWIPES at her
with a meaty paw.

She tries to WHACK it
with the branch,
but it GRABS it away from her. GROWLS.

She GRABS another branch.
Pulls herself up -- just as the bear
SINKS IT TEETH into her boot.
Cate CRIES OUT.

Thunder BOOMS. Lightning CRACKS.
It starts POURING RAIN.

Lightning CRACKS again,
illuminating the bear’s
giant teeth and wild, red eyes.

Cate KICKS his head
with her other foot,
causing him to ROAR
and let go for a moment.

She reaches around.
Pulls the gun from her waistband.

SHOOTS him in the head.
BANG. BANG. BANG.

He SHRIEKS in pain.
Hits the ground with
a sickening THUMP --

The Dirt

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Monday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 27 of RIDGEWAY, Dixie Mob boss Big Boy takes screenwriter Cate Salinger to a remote cabin in the woods, where he pays her five thousand dollars in cash ... to shoot someone in the head ...


EXT. OZARK MOUNTAINS - GRAVEL ROAD - DUSK
A brand-new red double-dually
PICKUP TRUCK comes BARRELING
up the road in a CRUNCH of gravel.

An ARMADILLO lazily
skitters across the gravel.

The truck ROARS by and SQUISHES it,
CRACKING its shell with a CRUNCH.

EXT. MOUNTAIN CABIN - DUSK
A shack that looks like it’d
fall over if you sneezed on it.

The gravel road runs by it,
then disappears into a tunnel
of trees across the mountain ridge.

Dim light spills out
from behind dingy curtains.

The truck’s doors OPEN.
Out steps Big Boy and Cate.

INT. MOUNTAIN CABIN - NIGHT
Dimly lit by a kerosene lantern.
We see Hoyt, Jib -- and the Kid
tied to a chair. Badly beaten.

Covered in blood.
Mouth a ruined mess.

Teeth litter the floor.
Softly whimpering.

Big Boy and Cate walk in.
Jib looks at Big Boy. Grins.

JIB
Finally told us.

Hoyt stares at Cate.
Smacks his lips.

HOYT
Who’s the cunt.

BIG BOY
New business associate.

Big Boy pulls a thick, banded wad
of bills from his pocket.
Holds it in front of Cate’s face.

BIG BOY
Five grand.
Like I promised.

Her eyes light up.
She reaches for it --
but he SNATCHES it away.

Pulls out a GUN.
Offers it to her.

BIG BOY
First you gotta shoot this
piece of shit in the head.

CATE
But what about --

BIG BOY
This man stole from me.
Now he needs to pay the piper.
Do you want the fucking money
or not?
(off her look)
You want to write my movie,
you gotta be IN my movie.
(holds up the cash)
Go a long way round here --

She looks at the Kid.
Then at Jib and Hoyt.

Then the money.
Takes the gun in trembling hands.

BIG BOY
Atta girl.

Walks over to the Kid.
Slowly raises it. Pauses.

Looks at Big Boy. He nods.
She takes a deep breath --

Takes aim -- and BANG,
SHOOTS him in the head.

Brains, skull and blood
SPRAY the wall.

Big Boy TOSSES
her the cash.

BIG BOY
She shoots, she scores.
(off her look)
Londell sent you to
get the dirt on me.
Now the dirt’s on you.
(big grin)
You just did a hit
for the Dixie mob.

A SIREN starts WAILING
in the distance.

BIG BOY
Whoops. Gotta go.
(winks)
Don’t spend it all in
once place now, ya hear?

The Fly In The Ointment

Happy Thursday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 26 of RIDGEWAY, Cate and Shayla take Halene's trans son Les to a local roadhouse for dinner to offer emotional support, but get accosted by a group of angry, homophobic redneck jocks ...


EXT. SPARKY’S ROADHOUSE - NIGHT
A big, rambling joint that would
make Patrick Swayze proud.

Neon beer signs.
A line of pickup trucks
parked in front,

Cate’s red convertible
the fly in the ointment.

INT. SPARKY’S ROADHOUSE - NIGHT
38 Special on the juke.
Picnic tables and booths abound.

Families, couples, old folks.
More than a few cowboy hats.

Cate and Kayla sit
in a booth with Les.

A CHUBBY WAITRESS (30’s) with
teased hair takes their order.

CHUBBY WAITRESS
(to Les)
And what would you like to drink?

LES
Can I, uh -- get a beer?

Chubby raises her eyebrows.
Shoots Kayla and Cate a look.

HALENE
How about a Coke?

LES
Okay --

CHUBBY WAITRESS
Be back with your
drinks in a sec.

She waddles off.
Kayla looks around.

KAYLA
Well, isn’t this fun.
I haven’t been here in a long time.

CATE
(to Les)
Check out the biker chick over there
with the three-mile hair.
Are those ugly tattoos or what.

Les flashes a hint of a smile. Nods.

A foursome of REDNECK JOCKS (17)
sit down at the next table.

Start fidgeting, chuckling,
adolescent hormones running amok.

BEEFY REDNECK JOCK
Hey. There’s that man-girl.

Les stiffens.
Cate turns and looks.

KAYLA
So, Les.
How’s everything at school?

LES
Okay, I guess.

KAYLA
I remember when I was sixteen,
I was confused about -- who I was.

LES
(low, urgent)
I’m not confused. I’m a boy, and it
freaks my parents the fuck out.
(off Kayla’s reaction)
I know why we’re here tonight.
I’m not stupid.

COWBOY HAT REDNECK JOCK
(loud)
Think she’s gonna get herself
a fake dick?

PIMPLY-FACED REDNECK JOCK
You mean like a strap-on?

They burst into GALES OF LAUGHTER.
Cate WHIRLS around.

CATE
Excuse me. What did you say?

COWBOY HAT REDNECK JOCK
Fuck off, lady.
I ain’t talking to you.

CATE
You were making fun of our friend.

BEEFY REDNECK JOCK
Why don’t you go fuck yourself.

Cate’s face turns red. She gets up.
Grabs the bottle of ketchup.

SMASHES it on the edge of the table.
Jabs the blood-red, jagged,
broken glass in his face.

CATE
What did you say?

Everyone in the restaurant
turns and looks.

PIMPLY-FACED REDNECK JOCK
(to Beefy)
Fucking bitch is crazy.

CATE
Got that right, you fucking
red state NRA-sucking,
Hee Haw piece of white trash.
Apologize to my friend --
before I clean the floor
with your banjo neck.

BEEFY REDNECK JOCK
Fuck you, cunt.

Cate HURLS the bottle across the room.
It SMASHES into a window, SHATTERING it.

GRABS the edge of their table.
FLIPS it over, sending everything
CRASHING to the floor.

The jocks JUMP to their feet,
ready to fight.

Cate LEAPS UP on her table.
Starts BEATING her chest. Then HOWLS.

CATE
AHHH-OOO, AHHH-OOO, AHHH-OOO, AHHH-OOO, --

They stare, wide-eyed.
She smiles, evil.

Puts her hands in front of her
like a dog. Starts BARKING.

CATE
ROOF, ROOF, ROOF, ROOF, ROOF --
(growls)
GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR --

They exchange looks, freaked out.
Get the hell outta there.

The other patrons stare at Cate,
open-mouthed.

CATE
The fuck you looking at?

INT. CATE’S CONVERTIBLE - NIGHT
Cate starts the engine.
Kayla sits in the passenger
seat, still in shock.

Les sits in the back.
Flashes a big grin.

LES
That was fucking COOL --

Johnny On The Spot

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Wednesday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 25 of RIDGEWAY, Sheriff Willa Knox calls Dixie Mafia boss Big Boy, who gives her a heads-up about deputy Londell Kirvin suggesting that recently transplanted Hollywood screenwriter Cate Salinger visit him to 'dig up some dirt' for her TV show about the dark underbelly of their rural mountaintop town ...


INT. SHERIFF’S OFFICE - NIGHT
Small-town law enforcement decor.
Pale yellow cinder block walls.

The signed picture of KD Lang
is a nice touch.

So are the bowling trophies.

Willa’s at her desk chomping
on nicotine gum, on the phone.

WILLA
Zane? It’s Willa --

INTERCUT WITH:

INT. BIG BOY’S OFFICE - NIGHT
Big Boy sits back in
his chair smoking a stogie.

Feet up on the desk.
Phone on his lap.

BIG BOY
Willa Knox.
How’s the lady sheriff doin’ tonight?

WILLA
Getting ready for my
big date with Jack Daniels.
How about your own bad self?

BIG BOY
Movin’ and shakin,’ hot stuff.
What’s up?

WILLA
Wanted to give you a heads-up.
Londell Kirven told me his
sister-in-law’s shackin’ up
with a screenwriter from LA
who just moved here.
Said she’s gonna write
a TV show about Echo,
and he suggested she talk to you.
Said she might be able to
‘dig up some dirt.’

BIG BOY
Got it under control.
Already met with her.

WILLA
Well, look at you.
Johnny on the spot.

BIG BOY
You know what they say.
Play with fire, and
you might get fucked.

WILLA
Anything I can do to help?

He thinks a moment. Grins.

BIG BOY
How about you send
a pair of constables to
the old McClung shack
at the top of Prospect
around midnight?

WILLA
And why am I sending them?

BIG BOY
‘Suspicious activity.’

WILLA
An ‘anonymous tip.’

BIG BOY
Much appreciated.
Now, the question is, what
are we gonna do about Londell?
He keeps poking his nose
where it don’t belong.

WILLA
He’s an officer of the law, Zane.

BIG BOY
For the time being --

The Horrors Within

Happy Tuesday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 25 of RIDGEWAY, local ne'er do well hipster junkie Zeek Youngblood convinces his girlfriend Sugar Hart to score some heroin ... by having sex with a biker ...


EXT. SHITTY COTTAGE - DUSK
A tiny, grimy cottage
on a steep mountain road.

Filthy white picket fence.
Recycling bin filled with
empty beer cans.

Dense foliage hides
the horrors within.

Across the street,
a motley crew of
LOCALS drink beer and play
a game of horseshoes.

One hits the stake
with a CLANK.

INT. SHITTY COTTAGE - DUSK
Shades drawn. Piles of crap everywhere
that would do Hoarders proud.

A tiny boom box plays
twangy alt country.

A BOY (20) and GIRL (19)
sit on the bed, cross-legged,
sharing a smoke.

BOY
I’m sick, Sugar.
Need more brain damage.

Meet ZEEK YOUNGBLOOD,
mountain-punk-hipster.

Natty in faded denim,
Edwardian blouse and a bowler.

Greasy hair frames
an angelic face.

He wipes his nose,
rubs it on his leg.

SUGAR
But we just got a sack.

Meet SUGAR HART, striking in
artfully ripped black hose
and blue velvet minidress.

Mass of tangled black hair
down to her ass.

Pale as moonlight
and sweet as honeysuckle.

ZEEK
All gone, honey pie.
(smiles)
How bout you go down
to the Cathouse and do
one of them bikers again?

SUGAR
Aw, Zeek.
Those guys are nasty.
Still have bruises
from the last one.

ZEEK
Maybe go see Hoyt again?

SUGAR
Isn’t there a way to score
without me having
to fuck somebody?

ZEEK
Well, if you hadn’t
lost the gun --

Pause.

SUGAR
Alright, alright.
I’ll go see Hoyt.
(beat)
He smells so bad.

ZEEK
Hold your nose.
It’ll be over
before you know it.

SUGAR
He does come fast --

She gets up.
Goes to the door.

ZEEK
Attagirl. Go get ‘em.

Puts her hand on the knob.
Shoots him a look. Leaves.

He pulls out a cigar box
out from under the bed.
Opens it.

Pulls out a spoon, syringe
and a length of rubber tubing.

Takes a glassine envelope
out of his pocket.

Holds it up to the light.
FLICKS it with his finger.

Dumps some of it
on the spoon.

LIGHTS it with a
flick of his Zippo.

Smoke rises as the
magic powder turns
liquid, then bubbles.

He places a piece
of cotton on it.

Then expertly draws it
into the syringe.

Squirts it.
Taps it with a finger.

Ties the rubber hose
around his upper arm.
YANKS it tight.

Rolls up his sleeve,
revealing a junkie’s road map
of dead veins, boils and scabs.
Hunts for a spot. No luck.

Thinks a moment.
Takes off a shoe,
revealing a filthy, hairy foot
with long, yellow nails.

Takes a deep breath --
and PLUNGES it between his toes.
CRIES OUT in pain.

Redneck Charm

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Monday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 24 of RIDGEWAY, Cate rushes to Kayla's defense after Vivi threatens her and reduces her to tears ... and gives her the mother of all put-downs ...


INT. DREAMLAND - DAY
Vivi glares at Kayal.
Tears start running down her cheeks.

She gasps, runs into the back room.
Cate goes to the door, locks it --
then makes a beeline toward Vivi
at the counter.


CATE
Ah, there she is.
The big, fat pig.
I’m surprised your ugly mug
don’t scare the customers away.
(sniffs)
I mean, the smell alone --

VIVI
What did you just call me?

CATE
A big. Fat. Pig.
(makes SNORTING noises)
But then, you’re a razorback, right?

VIVI
(raises a hand to hit her)
How DARE you --

Cate WHACKS it away.
SLAPS her face.
GRABS her collar.

CATE
Shut the fuck up and listen
to me, you fucking cunt.
I’ve had enough of
your fucking with Kayla.
She comes home every night
in tears because of your
steaming sack of shit.

VIVI
(tries to get free)
LET GO OF ME.
(beat)
The customers will see us.

CATE
One step ahead of you, chubbo.
I locked the fucking door.

VIVI
What do you WANT?

CATE
I want you to STOP FUCKING WITH KAYLA.

VIVI
Fuck you.

CATE
I know all about how you
worked your way into Sula’s graces,
doing her errands for her,
buying her fucking boxes of wine --
my god, boxes of wine, could
you people be any more of a cliche?

VIVI
How dare you --

CATE
How dare YOU.
Ordering Kayla around
like you’re her boss.
You were a fucking
SCHOOL CAFETERIA LUNCH LADY.
Kayla’s got TWENTY YEARS
RETAIL EXPERIENCE.
It’s like Sarah Palin telling
Steven Hawking what to do.
Fucking ridiculous.

Vivi stares in disbelief.
Her bottom lip quivers.

CATE
Nobody’s ever called your bluff, huh?
(softly)
When I first met you, I thought
you had a certain kinda
back woods, redneck charm --
but now I see you for
what you really are.
A bloated, scared, angry bully.
(getting warmed up)
I know all about your sexting husband,
your unmarried pregnant daughter
and her waste of human flesh boyfriend.
Quite a life you got there.
(nasty)
Oh. But it’s okay.
Jesus will save you.

VIVI
What -- do you want?

CATE
I already told you,
you fat fucking cow.
Kayla the fuck ALONE.
And if you try to get her fired,
your fat ass is grass.
I just got a job
working for Big Boy,
and one word from me --
(off her look)
Be kinda hard to get around
with fucked-up kneecaps.

VIVI
How dare you threaten me.
I’m gonna call the cops.

CATE
Yeah, right.
I’m sure Londell would love that.
He’s heard all about your shit
and would love to see you
twist in the wind
like crusty flypaper.
(off her silence)
Well, I’m glad we got that sorted out.
I’ll get out of your hair
and let you get back to
selling overpriced trinkets.
(beat)
Like your shirt. Cute.
Does it come in something
smaller than a tent?

Bitch Slap

Happy Thursday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 23 of RIDGEWAY, Kayla confronts Vivi about cutting her work hours, which soon erupts into a big fight ...


INT. DREAMLAND - DAY
Shitty Knickleback-like rock music
way too loud on the sound system.

The joint is deserted,
except for Vivi and Kayla.

KAYLA
Now that Cate’s living with me,
all my utilities went up.
I just can’t make it
on twenty-eight hours.

VIVI
I told you, we can’t
afford it right now.
Can’t Cate chip in?

Cate walks in. Hears them.
Hides behind a rack of fur coats.

KAYLA
She was, until her old landlord
put a lien on her bank account.
Now she’s broke.

VIVI
Why doesn’t she just sell
one of her screenplays?

KAYLA
It’s not that simple.
She spends several hours every morning
trying to sell her stuff and
looking for writing jobs.
It's hard work.

VIVI
Maybe she should get a real job.

KAYLA
You know there’s no jobs here
for someone with her experience.

VIVI
Maybe you shoulda thought of that
before you let her move in with you.

KAYLA
That’s none of your business.

VIVI
Excuse me?
KAYLA
You’re not my boss, Vivi.
Sula owns the store, not you,
so I suggest you back the fuck off
before I do something I might regret.

VIVI
Like what, hit me?
Just because that fat slug
slapped you around doesn’t mean --

KAYLA
Shut up.

VIVI
Been on the receiving end so long
you think you can dish it out?
Go ahead, hit me. I dare you.
(beat)
You don’t have the guts.
You’re weak. Pathetic.

Kayla’s bravado starts to crumble.
Her eyes well up.

VIVI
Oh, look. She’s gonna cry --

Tears start running down her cheeks.
She gasps, runs into the back room.

Cate goes to the door, locks it --
then makes a beeline
toward Vivi at the counter --The

Screen Test

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Hump Day. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 22 of RIDGEWAY, Cate meets with Dixie mafia crime boss Big Boy at a local cafe, who hires her to write a movie about his life ...


EXT. ERNIE’S CAFE - DAY
A small clapboard house
on a residential street
that’s now a restaurant.

Tables on the front porch.
Red neon sign reads OPEN.

Blackboard reads SPECIAL: FISH BLT
in green chalk.

A green tram with three cars
comes down the street,
half-filled with TOURISTS.

The TOUR GUIDE (50’s), a portly local
with a voice like honey and molasses
gives his folksy spiel.

TOUR GUIDE
--- now the building on your left
used to be a gas station,
and believe it or not
is now an artist’s studio --
and on your right is a
bed and breakfast that
used to be the home
of Carrie Nation --

INT. ERNIE’S CAFE - DAY
A front room with a
big picture window.

Surprisingly bohemian cool.
We could be in Greenwich Village.

Only the bearded and beaded
arty-funky LOCALS give it away.

Cate and Big Boy sit at a
big round table in the corner,
feasting on the aforementioned
fish BLT’s.

BIG BOY
Got my fingers in a few pies.
Sell some real estate,
gotta motel out on the highway,
an antique store,
used car dealership --
and I told ya about
the bluegrass festival.

CATE
Impressive.

BIG BOY
Probably heard the rumor
going round that I’m involved
in some -- shady activities.

CATE
No, I haven’t.

BIG BOY
Completely blown outta proportion.
I do offer some services off the books --
high-interest loans for
people with bad credit,
run a high-stakes poker game,
stuff like that, but that’s
life in a small town.
People talk shit about you.

CATE
(carefully)
Then I would imagine you know --
the dark side of Echo.

BIG BOY
Hell, yeah. I got stories
that’d curl your hair.
(beat)
If I hire you to write my story,
would you sign a
-disclosure agreement?

CATE
Of course.
And I’d change the names
to protect the innocent.

Big Boy nods, thinking it over.

BIG BOY
How much you charge?

CATE
Five thousand,
paid in installments.
Take me about two,
three months tops.

BIG BOY
Got yourself a deal.

CATE
Great. I’ll email you my
standard contract so you can --

BIG BOY
Round these parts
a handshake’ll do.
I trust you.
(strangely)
You gotta nice face --

Copland

Happy Tuesday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 21 of RIDGEWAY, deputy Londell Kirvin tells sheriff Willa Knox about his sister's girlfriend Cate's plan to write a TV show about the crime scene in Echo ... and how he 'cleverly' pointed her in the direction of Dixie mafia crime boss Big Boy ...


EXT. POLICE PRECINCT - DAY
A brick building on a woodsy,
rural road on the outskirts of town.

A giant billboard advertises
‘The Great Passion Play.

Group Discounts Available.’
The gospel according to Gomer.

A giant RV sits
in the parking lot
with a FOR SALE sign
in the front window.

INT. POLICE PRECINCT - FOYER - DAY
Your usual small-town police station.
Londell stands next to WILLA KNOX (40’s)
the sheriff. Unwraps a candy bar.

Willa’s a big-boned gal,
but has a face that could
launch a thousand crooks,
with a long chestnut mane
in a ponytail.

She pops in a piece of nicotine gum.
Grimaces at the taste.

WILLA
A screenwriter? Do tell.

LONDELL
Yep. Just moved here.
Shacking up with my wife’s sister.

WILLA
Really.

LONDELL
Really. And check it out.
She’s writing a TV show about Echo.

WILLA
Interesting.

LONDELL
Yeah. It’s a crime story,
so I told her --
(low)
Go talk to Big Boy.
See if he’s got any --
(clears his throat)
Great stories for her to use.
(big smile)
Was that freakin’ brilliant or WHAT.

WILLA
Good work, Londell.
Keep me posted.

LONDELL
You can count on it.
(beat)
How’s the quitting smoking going?

WILLA
(softly)
I wanna fucking rip
someone’s head off.

LONDELL
(holds up the candy bar)
Maybe you should have a candy bar.
(smiles)
Works for me.

He nods. Takes a bite. Ambles away.
Willa watches him go.

Takes out another piece of gum.
Pops it in. Makes a face.

Bad Apples

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Monday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 20 of RIDGEWAY, Big Boy's henchmen Jib Casey and Hoyt Youngblood bring a kid who stole from them to a remote cabin high atop a mountain to get him to confess to his dirty deeds ...


INT. SHITTY OLD CABIN - DAY
Big, Bald Brute and Mutton Chops,
who we recognize from
the opening scene,
drag the Kid we saw
tied to the chair
into the cabin.

His mouth has been duct taped,
wrists zip-tied tight.

BIG, BALD BRUTE
Gotcha now, shithead.

Meet JIB CASEY.
You don’t wanna mess
with this fucker.

Loves god, country
and the NRA.

Not necessarily
in that order.

MUTTON CHOPS
Thought you could
get away with it, huh?

Meet HOYT YOUNGBLOOD.
Makes Vin Diesel look like
Pee Wee Herman.

Puts the shit
in shit-kicker.

Jib THROWS the Kid into
a rickety wooden chair.

Hoyt starts tying
his legs to it.

HOYT
Big Boy’s mighty pissed.

JIB
Said we could do
anything we want.
As long as we
get ya to talk.

He pulls out a
rolled up tool kit.

Unwraps it with a flourish.
Proudly displays a series
of knives, hooks, pinchers
and various other
medieval-looking instruments.

JIB
So if you enjoy eatin’
corn on the cob,
better fess up right now.

KID
I didn’t take nothin,’
I swear.

Hoyt grins.
Reaches up.
GRABS his nose ring --

HOYT
I was hopin’
you’d say that.

YANKS it out.
Kid HOWLS.

Pops it in his mouth.
Sucks on it.

HOYT
Mmm. Salty.

The Cheap Seats

Hey there, crime kids. Thank god it's Friday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 19 of RIDGEWAY, Vivi's daughter Dee Anne freaks out when she discovers she's pregnant, and tells her ne'er do well boyfriend Jacob, whos not exactly thrilled about it ...


EXT. TIDWELL HOUSE - DAY
A plain, seventies-era ranch house
on the wrong side of the tracks,
which in this case is a creek.

Not in the historic district.
The cheap seats, if you will.

Various ceramic garden gnomes,
turtles and frogs dot the front lawn,
revealing the occupants’
total lack of taste.

An old, faded RED PICKUP TRUCK drives by.
Four TEENAGE KIDS sit in the flatbed,
excited to be going who knows where.

INT. TIDWELL HOUSE - KITCHEN - DAY
A shiny suburban kitchen,
stuffed with shitty bric a brac.

Right now, Vivi’s cleaning the joint,
and the grimace on her mug
could strip the paint off an outhouse.

IN THE BATHROOM
Her daughter DEE ANNE (20),
pudgy with frosted mall hair
and vacant eyes sits on the toilet
with a home pregnancy test,
on the cusp of becoming
the cliche she already is.

DEE ANNE
Shit.

IN HER BEDROOM
JACOB KRUNK(20), dark-haired,
good looking on a budget,
lounges on the bed with a
car magazine and an energy drink.

In a case of life imitating advertising,
his T-shirt sports the drink’s logo.

Indeed, this mouth-breather makes
a great case for selective breeding.

Dee Anne comes in.
Softly closes the door.

JACOB
Hey.
(beat)
What’s wrong?

DEE ANNE
I’m pregnant.

JACOB
What?

DEE ANNE
I’m pregnant.

JACOB
Oh.

DEE ANNE
Don’t look so happy about it.

JACOB
I’m sorry. I’m just --
(beat)
How did it happen?

DEE ANNE
What do you mean ‘how did it happen?’

JACOB
I just meant --
(beat)
I mean, I pull out, you know?

DEE ANNE
Well, I guess you stayed in
a little too long one time, didn’t you.

JACOB
I’m sorry.

DEE ANNE
My mom’ll help out, right?

JACOB
Yeah, sure. Sure she will.

A soft knock-knock-knock on the door.

DEE ANNE
It’s open.

Vivi walks in carrying an
open can of Spaghetti-o’s.

Spoons a mouthful,
gulps it down. Grins.

VIVI
Headin’ over to
the store for awhile.
Made you some baloney
and Velveeta sandwiches,
and there’s a new bag
of cool ranch chips.

DEE ANNE
Uh -- thanks.

She has another spoonful.
Dee Anne and Jacob stare.

VIVI
Hey. I’m a gal on the go.
(loud burst of laughter)
See ya!

And she leaves.

DEE ANNE
Yeah. Mom’ll help out.

Going Full-Chaz Bono

Happy Thursday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 18 of RIDGEWAY, Halene pays a visit to Kayla at her shop and tries to find out the intimate details about her sex life with Cate ...

INT. DREAMLAND - DAY
Kayla stands at the counter
making a necklace.

Beads and jewelry parts sit
in a little tray in front of her.

Halene sits next to her,
watching her do the
precise, surgical work.

Nimble fingers plying
their trade.

HALENE
I like how you’re
making it crooked.

KAYLA
You mean asymmetrical.

HALENE
Right.

Kayla concentrates.
Threads a tiny bead.

HALENE
Thanks again for taking
Les out to dinner.
Really means a lot to us.

KAYLA
(not looking up)
No problem. Glad to help.

HALENE
There’s something else about Les
I wanted to talk to you about.
Londell doesn’t know,
and if he did,
I’m afraid he’d flip out.

KAYLA
What’s that?

HALENE
Les has been -- cutting herself.

KAYLA
Oh my god, really?

HALENE
Yeah. I noticed she stopped
wearing short-sleeved shirts --
and then one day I saw
the scars on her forearm.
(beat)
I’m scared, Kayla.

KAYLA
I’m -- so sorry.

HALENE
That’s why you need find out
what’s going on with her.
If she’s hurting herself,
who knows what she might do.

KAYLA
You mean like
‘going full-Chaz Bono?’

HALENE
That Londell.
He’s a good man,
but sometimes he’s just --

KAYLA
Insensitive? Inappropriate?

HALENE
You know men when it
comes to that kinda stuff.
(beat)
Bet you don’t have that
problem with Cate, huh?

KAYLA
Nah. She’s a sweetie.

HALENE
Not to pry -- but I always wondered
what two women do together.
Y’all use a strap-on?

KAYLA
That’s a little personal, Halene.
(beat)
We actually -- haven’t made love yet.

HALENE
How come?

KAYLA
Promise you’ll keep it a secret?
(off her nod)
Cate’s been celibate seventeen years.

HALENE
Seventeen years? Really? Why?

KAYLA
Had a string of bad relationships.
Saw a shrink, realized she
‘didn’t know how to pick ‘em’ --
they were all abusive
or emotionally unavailable --
and she gave up.
(a wicked look)
It’s not as bad as it sounds.
Vibrator’s a girl’s best friend.

HALENE
(blushes)
Kayla.
(thinks)
Have you tried?

KAYLA
Yeah. I shouldn’t have.
It was late,
we were kinda wasted,
she was tired --
(beat)
I mean, hell --
she just got here,
and I’m gonna pressure
her to have sex?
After seventeen years
of not having any?
(beat)
Gonna let nature
take it’s course.
I’m in no hurry.
She’s the best thing
that ever happened to me.

HALENE
Well, hell -- after what
the slug put you through --

Kayla winces.
An unpleasant memory
creases her face.

Blood, Guts, Whiskey And Bullets

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Hump Day. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 16 of RIDGEWAY, Cate pays a visit to Dixie Mafia crime boss Big Boy to dig up some dirt for her TV show, but is surprised when he charms the pants off her ... and offers her a job ...


EXT. STOREFRONT - DAY
A faded red brick storefront.
Broken sign reads ‘1898’ up top.

A park bench sits on the porch
next to a ceramic pig underneath
a row of giant hanging ferns.

Through partially-open blinds
we see the joint is stuffed
with antiquities and junk.

And hey, is that a wooden Indian?
And what the hell is Santa
doing there in August?

This is no store, folks.
It’s Big Boy’s office.

The only skyscrapers in these parts
have branches and leaves.

Cate walks Bobby on a leash
toward the building.

Stops in front. Pretends to look
at the clusterfuck of Americana.

Suddenly a group of BIKERS
going FLYING BY on their Harleys,
engines ROARING, causing Bobby
to BARK his head off.

The door opens.
Out comes BIG BOY (60’s),
your standard-issue hillbilly deluxe,
with a standard-issue gnarled,
crusty cowboy hat and a gut
the size of a laundry basket.

But this Jethro’s wearing a Rolex
and smoking a Cuban cigar.

BIG BOY
Afternoon. Can I help ya?

CATE
You must be Big Boy.

BIG BOY
At your service.

He points at a poster on the door.
Big photo of him announcing
the Echo Springs Bluegrass Festival,
giving a big thumbs up like
some kinda Boy Howdy from hell.

BIG BOY
You a musician looking for a slot?

CATE
No, no.
I just moved here -- from LA.
(points)
Live in that orange house
down the street. Name’s Cate.

She offers her hand. They shake.

BIG BOY
And the pooch?

CATE
Bobby.

BIG BOY
Well, welcome to Echo Springs,
Cate and Bobby. What brings
you round these parts?

CATE
After twenty years in LA
and fifteen in New York,
I was burned out.
Wanted some peace and quiet.

BIG BOY
Well, you’re sure gonna get that here.
Been here forty years myself.
(grins)
Originally from Bakersfield,
but don’t tell anyone.

CATE
I hear you’re quite
the mover and shaker.

BIG BOY
What’s that now?

CATE
Oh. Sorry.
I’m a screenwriter, and I’m
thinking about writing a TV show
that takes place here.
I was talking to Londell Kirven,
and he said you’d be a
great person to talk to --
you know, about the town,
the gossip -- all the dirt.

BIG BOY
Ah, yes -- Londell. Good kid.
How you do know him?

CATE
He’s my partner’s sister’s husband.

BIG BOY
C’mon in and set a spell.

INT. BIG BOY’S OFFICE - A LITTLE LATER
A big room crammed with antiques,
heirlooms and yard sale crap.

An old TV has Andy Griffith
on with the sound off.

Big Boy sits behind a big desk
covered with paperwork,
Cate across from him
in a rocking chair.

Bobby wanders around
sniffing the musty smells.

CATE
Eighteen years.
Last six full-time.
(turns on the charm)
I’ve written twenty-six features,
six pilots and eight shorts.
like to think I’ve
gotten pretty good.

BIG BOY
How much you charge to
write a movie about me?

CATE
Write a movie -- about you?

BIG BOY
It’s a good story.
Chock full of blood, guts,
whiskey and bullets.

A black, old school
rotary phone RINGS.
Big Boy answers it.

BIG BOY
Big Boy --
(listens)
You found the fucker.
(listens)
Had a feeling he might
be there. Fucking drunk.
(listens)
Got company. Be right down.
(hangs up)
Pardon my French. Have a tenant
who’s way behind on his rent --
(beat)
Tell ya what. You free for lunch?
(off her nod)
Meet me at Kitty’s Roadhouse at one.
We’ll go over the details --