Tuesday, August 11, 2015

The Universal Language Of Stoned


Happy Tuesday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 17 of AFTERHOURS, Silverlake hipster dealer Mickey Mertz's business partner Harry Dill arrives on the scene looking for Mickey, and is disappointed to find out he's dead ... and that now he's a hostage, too ...


INT. AFTER HOURS CLUB - EARLY MORNING.
Danny unlocks the door. YANKS it open.
Aims his sawed-off at Excited Male Voice.

DANNY
Shut the fuck up
and get your ass in here.

In walks HARRY DILL (60’s), dishevelled,
with shaggy hair and a beard.

Natty in flip flops, board shorts
and a ratty tie-dyed t-shirt
that makes The Dude look sophisticated.

DANNY
Go over there and sit with the others.

HARRY
(stares at the gun)
I can dig it. Tight security.
Chill. I’m cool. I’m cool.
(looks at the others)
Where’s Mickey?
(sees Angel’s stump)
Whoah. Dude’s missing an arm.
Now that’s what I call a fucking party.

DANNY
Sit down and shut the fuck up.

HARRY
So where’s Mickey? In the head?

DANNY
Mickey’s dead. SIT.

HARRY
He’s DEAD? Wh-what h-happened?

Danny PUNCHES him in the stomach.
Harry doubles over.

HARRY
Dude. That fucking HURT.
Why’d you have to do that?

DANNY
Cause I told you to SIT DOWN
and SHUT THE FUCK UP.

Harry nods. Takes a seat.

HARRY
Alright. Jeez.

DANNY
Why did you want to see him?
What the fuck was so important?

HARRY
We got raided by the Feds.
All of our inventory was seized.
I barely escaped and was
coming to warn him.
Didn’t answer his cell
so I knew something was up --
(looks at Danny’s gun)
But not something like this.
Did you rob a bank or something?

DANNY
Why does everybody think
we robbed a fucking BANK?
(beat)
How did you know he was coming here?

HARRY
He told me. We’re business partners.
I procure the inventory
and he distributes it.
Some cat who works here is a customer.
(beat)
Dude. My heart’s beating a mile a minute.
Mind if I smoke out?

DANNY
‘Smoke out?’

HARRY
You know, weed.
You can have some, too.
Chill you right out.

DANNY
That’s actually not a bad idea.

HARRY
Right on.

He pulls a joint out of his pocket.
LIGHTS IT with a click of his Zippo.
Takes a big hit. Hands it to Danny.
He takes a toke. Holds it in. Nods. EXHALES.

DANNY
(hands it back)
That’s good shit.

HARRY
Oh, yeah. OG Kush from Humbolt.
None of that hydroponic bullshit.
I mean, sure it gives you a great high,
but it’s gone an hour later.
This shit’ll give you a body-shizzle
that’ll last all night.
(stares at Bettie)
Sugar Magnolia, blossoms blooming.
I’m in the presence of the Dark Goddess.

BETTIE
(smiles)
That’s me. Can I get a hit?

DANNY
It would be an honor.
Weed is the universal language of stoned.

He passes it to her.
She takes a ginormous hit. Holds it in.

HARRY
(low, to himself)
Mickey’s dead.
Who am I gonna get to move my product?
(looks at Danny)
Can I -- ask what happened?

DANNY
My partner accidentally blew his head off.
Got nervous, thought he was hitting on him.

HARRY
Pulp Fiction, ahoy.
(looks at the group)
Which one is he -- or she?

DANNY
He’s not here. He went out to get some food.

HARRY
A hostage situation with snacks. Far out.
(realizes)
So -- you’re not gonna let me go.

DANNY
Now you’re catching on.

HARRY
Guess it’s safer here than back at my place.
Joint’s crawling with DEA.

DANNY
Sounds like it’s your lucky night.

HARRY
Hey. If you’re given lemons --
(brightens)
Can we have some tunage?

DANNY
You mean -- music?

HARRY
Soothes the savage beast.
This IS a club, daddy-o.

CASEY
(to Danny)
Great idea. We get high, listen to some music,
then have something to eat when Vin gets back.
You’ll be relaxed and refreshed
for when you make your escape.

Pause.

DANNY
Okay. But no dancing --

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