Tuesday, May 19, 2015

One Lucky Frill


Happy Tuesday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 12 of BABY HEISTER, after Doc puts Kelsey through a grueling physical regimen as part of her 'bank robber training,' he has a big surprise for her: dinner with a group of professional heisters.


INT. BARN - DAY - IN MONTAGE
Kelsey does a series of exercises.
Jumping rope. Push ups. Pull ups.
Jumping Jacks. Climbing a rope. Boxing.

Doc holds the punching bag as Kelsey
SLAMS IT with boxing gloves.
THUMP-THUMP-THUMP-THUMP.

She’s drenched in sweat.
Looks fierce. Like a warrior.
Doc BLOWS a whistle.

DOC
That’s enough for now.
Don’t wanna kill you.
(beat)
Yet.

Kelsey nods. Out of breath.
Doc checks his watch.

DOC
Let’s go get some supper.
Get somethin’ in yer belly.

INT. DOC'S FARMHOUSE - KITCHEN - DAY
A big spread has been laid out on table.
Burgers. Fried chicken. Pasta salad.
Mashed potatoes. The works.

Eves have been added to the table
so that more people can sit.

Jo is finishing setting
place settings for six people.

Doc and Kelsey walk in,
see the culinary explosion.

DOC
A meal fit for a king.

KELSEY
Why the extra chairs?

DOC
We’re expecting company. Sit. Dig in.

Kelsey sits. Grabs a chicken leg.
Starts chewing. Starving.

KELSEY
What kind of company?

DOC
Surprise.

The doorbell RINGS.
Jo starts for the door.

JO
I’ll get it. Sit.

Doc nods. Takes a chair.
Starts filling his plate.

INT. DOC'S FARMHOUSE - FRONT DOOR - DAY
Jo opens the front door.
Revealing three HEISTERS, grinning.

RENO BLACK (30’s)
a stocky fireplug of gruffness nods.

RENO
We’re here for the free meal.

DUSTY VEGA (40’s), dark and slick,
a poor man’s Al Pacino nudges him.
Chewing on a toothpick.

DUSTY
You know Reno.
If food were the food of love,
he’d eat on.

SIMON LEEDS (20’s), tall and thin,
the rockabilly version
of Jonathan Rhys-Meyers
shakes his head with
mock-embarrassment.

SIMON
Please pardon the
lowlife criminal element.
I’m embarrassed to be
seen in their company,
I’m afraid I have bills to pay.

JO
(charmed)
I don’t think we’ve met --

Simon takes her hand. Kisses it.

SIMON
Simon Leeds, at your service.

INT. DOC'S FARMHOUSE - KITCHEN - MOMENTS LATER
Everyone sits around the table chowing down.
Kelsey keeps sneaking glances at Simon.
Smitten, but hiding it. Sort of.

DOC
Kelsey here is learning
how to be a heister.

RENO
And YOU’RE teaching her?
(to Kelsey)
He’s the master.
You’re one lucky frill.

KELSEY
What’s a frill?

JO
Dame. Doll.

DOC
Broad. Bim.

RENO
Chippy. Chick.

DUSTY
Frail. Floozy.

SIMON
Twist. Tomato.

Kelsey BURSTS into laughter.

KELSEY
'Tomato?'

SIMON
We have our own patois,
like any other subculture.

DUSTY
(to Doc)
So -- is it okay to talk about the job --
with her at the table?

DOC
Yep. In fact, I’d like her
to be in on the job.

DUSTY
I’m not sure that’s such a --

DOC
I know what you’re thinking,
but hear me out.
She’s my kin.
We can trust her.

RENO
That’s true, but --

DOC
Think of it as on-the-job training.
I’d like her to observe every aspect
of planning the heist --
she just won’t DO the heist.

DUSTY
Highly unusual.

RENO
Well, if she’s not doing the job,
what could it hurt?

SIMON
He’s got a point.
(winks at Kelsey)
Be kinda fun to teach
a baby heister.

PUSH IN ON Kelsey’s face.
Blushing a deep red.

KELSEY
'Baby heister?'

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