Monday, May 4, 2015
Hey there, crime kids. Happy Monday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.
In Chapter 1 of BABY HEISTER, we meed eighteen-year-old Kelsey Hazard, lazily floating in a swimming hole reading a crime novel, and her grandfather Doc, who tells her it's time for dinner. Meanwhile, unbeknownst to her, her parents Griff and Chelle are about to rob a bank ...
EXT. RANCH - DUSK
TITLE CARD READS: OJAI, CALIFORNIA.
It’s magic hour in the desert.
The mid-summer heat shimmers
in rippling waves in the air.
The crops. The blacktop road.
A small ranch in a green valley.
Giant mountains behind it.
Can you say 'incredible view?'
Old, Spanish mission style house. Big barn.
Rustic pickup truck parked in the drive.
In the distance, a deep blue lake
glows in the fading light.
It’s picture-postcard time, folks.
Doesn’t get much more gorgeous
and idyllic than this.
EXT. LAKE - DUSK
A young WOMAN (18) lies on an inner tube
reading a book, lazily floating on the water.
She takes a hit from a joint. Holds it in.
EXHALES. Turns the page. Riveted.
Meet KELSEY HAZARD, tomboy deluxe.
Pretty, but she’s done everything
she can to hide it.
Her long, sleek black hair
tied tight in a ponytail.
Baseball cap. Shades. Bare lips.
The problem is the tiny bikini
she’s almost wearing.
Her killer figure undulates
around her tall, lean frame. Ouch.
A TALL, OLDER GUY (60) walks out
on the rickety wooden pier.
Meet DOC HAZARD, her grandfather.
Looks like your typical old cowboy.
Except for the Grateful Dead T-shirt
and biker boots.
Supper’s almost ready.
(eyes on the book)
Be right there.
Just let me finish this chapter.
(under his breath)
Goddamn crime novels.
If she’d only be as interested
in her school books --
EXT. LOS ANGELES - TEN FREEWAY - DUSK
Clogged with rush hour traffic
heading west toward the beach.
But not so much heading east
into downtown LA.
We see an ARMORED CAR heading that way
in sparse traffic.
It reaches an off ramp, turns, then starts
descending into the dirty City of Angels.
INT. ARMORED CAR - DUSK
Behind the wheel sits GINO CONTI (30’s).
Wiry. Dark-haired. Dark-skinned.
He smiles, chewing on a toothpick.
Turns and looks at the HULKING BRUTE
sitting in the passenger seat.
Look at that sky. Beautiful.
In the cinema they call it magic hour.
In my book, they call it money hour.
Meet GRIFF HAZARD (40), heister extraordinaire.
Built like a block of granite.
Face like a potato.
Eyes burning with purpose.
Intense. Mouth a cruel dark slash.
You wrote book?
What is it about?
Griff stares ahead.
Silent. Watching the road.
IN THE REAR COMPARTMENT
Sits CHELLE HAZARD (39), Griff’s wife.
A gorgeous brunette.
Curvy goblet of sin
poured into a leather catsuit.
Armed to the gills. Packing, too.
She speaks into a headset.
Come in, Houston. This is The Eagle.
Are we cleared for landing? Over.
Eyes flicker. Approach a smile.
Don’t quite make it.
(into his headset)
This is Houston. Approaching our target in --
(looks at his watch)
T-minus two minutes. Over.
Smiles grimly. Nods.
Copy that, Houston. Over.
Sitting to her left is HELMUT WOLF (40’s),
expert marksman, German expat.
Dolph Lundgren, without the looks.
I still don’t like space travel names.
Is too silly.
I don’t remember asking your opinion.
Sitting to her right is ATLAS DEMO (30’s),
Third generation Greek.
Don’t listen to him.
It’s fucking genius.
Anybody hears us, they don’t know
what the fuck we’re talking about.
ZVI ROZEN (20’s), Israeli
computer hacker extraordinaire.
Hunched over an old-school
briefcase-sized laptop. Looks up.
You just have chip on shoulder
because you came in job late
because someone dropped out.
You should be GRATEFUL,
not ruining vibe.
We need to work as a team, GOT IT?
Helmut and Zvi glare at each other.
Zvi returns to his laptop.
Starts briskly typing out commands.
All set with the power grid?
(smiles, gives a thumbs-up)
Like taking electricity from a baby --