Monday, January 5, 2015

Don't Mess With Texas


Hey there, crime kids. Happy Monday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 12 of FILLMORE, Fillmore Slim and the other artists on Du-Tone Records go 'on tour' and hit the road, but have car trouble deep in the heart of Texas in the middle of nowhere, but get help from an unexpected place ...


EXT. TEXAS - COUNTRY ROAD - DAY
A country road in the middle of nowhere.
Flat, empty land all around.
few COWS dot the landscape.

An OLD STATION WAGON sits on the side of the road
with the hood up, musical instruments
and equipment stuffed in the back.

Slim and Chester talk to BEAU (30’s),
one of the other musicians,
a big fella who’s looking under the hood.

We see GIL (20’s), another musician and THE BLOSSOMS (20’s),
the female backup singers watching from in the car.

SLIM
You figure out the problem?

BEAU
Carburetor’s shot.

CHESTER
What are we gonna DO?

BEAU
I dunno. You tell me.

SLIM
How bout Chester and I go down the road,
look for a gas station?

BEAU
In this heat? We’re in the middle of nowhere.

CHERRY, one of The Blossoms calls out to them.

CHERRY
Hey. There’s a truck coming --

A dirty old PICKUP TRUCK comes toward them.
Pulls up behind. A CRUSTY OLD FARMER (60’s) gets out. Walks over.

CRUSTY OLD FARMER
You boys run outta gas?

SLIM
No, sir. Engine trouble.

CRUSTY OLD FARMER
Nearest gas station’s quite aways away.

SLIM
Could you give us a tow? We’ll pay you.

Crusty looks at the girls in the back, the equipment.

CRUSTY OLD FARMER
Buncha musicians, huh?

SLIM
Yes, sir. We’re on tour for Du-Tone Records.

CRUSTY OLD FARMER
You don’t say --
(thinks)
I’ll tell ya what.
(points at the truck)
This old gal’s not gonna be able to take you all the way,
but how bout I push you up to the top of that yonder hill --
and you can coast down the other side.
Gas station’s right there at the bottom.

SLIM
(pulls out some cash)
Mister, you gotta deal.

CRUSTY OLD FARMER
(waves him off)
Keep your money. I know how broke musicians are.

EXT. COUNTRY ROAD - HILL - DAY
The truck pushes the station wagon up the hill.

SLIM (O.C.)
Damn. If I still had that sweet nineteen-fifty-one Mercury
Donna gave me, we wouldn’t be in this mess.

CHESTER (O.C.)
Well, if she hadn’t caught you with a car full of women,
you’d still have it.

SLIM (O.C.)
Yeah, well -- livin’ with her was getting old.

EXT. COUNTRY ROAD - HILL - DAY
The truck and the station wagon get to the top of the hill.
Stop. Crusty gets out. Goes to the driver’s-side window.

CRUSTY OLD FARMER
(to Beau)
Sit tight. I’m gonna give you a nudge now.

BEAU
Thanks again, mister.

Crusty nods. Gets back in.
Then slowly gives it a nudge with his bumper --
And the wagon starts ROLLING DOWN THE HILL.

IN THE CAR
Everyone looks out the windows, watching the scenery go by.

SLIM
Leave the drivin’ to us --

EXT. ANCIENT GAS STATION - DAY
The station wagon pulls up to a stop
in front of an old, empty gas station.

A sign in the cracked window reads CLOSED.
A tumbleweed ROLLS by. Slim and Chester get out.

SLIM
Closed. Damn old coot.

A YOUNG WHITE BOY (13) rides up to them on his bicycle.

SLIM
Hello there, young man. Where did you come from?

YOUNG WHITE BOY
(points)
That farm over there.

Slim and Chester look at the horizon. Don’t see anything.

SLIM
How far is it to the next gas station?

YOUNG WHITE BOY
Bout a hundred miles.

CHESTER
Goddammit. What are we gonna do now?

PUSH IN ON Slim’s face. Thinking.

SLIM
I’ve got an idea.

EXT. COUNTRY ROAD - STATION WAGON - MOVING - DAY
The station wagon chugs along the road, hood up,
with Slim sitting astride the engine.

His hand, covered with a burlap bag,
moves up and down over the carburetor,
giving it a bit of air every few seconds.

SLIM
Hey, everybody -- I’m The Human Carburetor.

EXT. SMALL COUNTRY TOWN - DAY
The station wagon is parked on the side
of the street in front of a restaurant.

A sign on the door reads WHITES ONLY.
NO COLOREDS OR DOGS ALLOWED.

INT. STATION WAGON - CONTINUOUS
Cherry looks at Slim. Eyes wide, in pain.

CHERRY
I gotta go to the BATHROOM. Real bad.

SLIM
This ain’t right. The world’s gotta change.
I say we stop at a white bathroom and use it.

Gil looks at Slim.

GIL
Those are mighty big words, my man.

SLIM
Someday the whole fuckin’ south is gonna come
crashing down on it’s fat, white cracker ass.

Everybody laughs nervously. ELLIE, the other singer pipes up.

ELLIE
You shouldn’t talk that way around here.

SLIM
I don’t care.

BEAU
Let’s go outta town.

EXT. COUNTRY ROAD - DAY
Another stretch of flat, empty farmland.
The car pulls off the road. Everybody gets out.

The girls hide behind the car.
The boys cross the street.

Take positions facing away from the road.
Unzip their flies. Start peeing.

SLIM
Thank god we found a 'colored only' desert --

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