Friday, June 29, 2012

Kiss Me Deadly


Hey there, crime stoppers. Happy Friday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 35 of BLUE HOTEL, Holly and Ilona rush on ecstasy while Beggar starts cutting up the dead bodies in the hotel room bathroom. Meanwhile, cops Bernie and Danette interrupt their tryst to go look for rookie Kenny, who's gone missing ...


INT. ALONA’S SHITTY HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT
The woozy, sax-drenched cocktail swoon
of Morphine’s WHISPER bleeds its
drunken promises of sex, sin and salvation over --

Alona. Drinking a bottle of water on the bed.
Holly does an interpretive dance.

Rushing on the E.
High as a dozen kites.

ALONA
(sings)
Don’t worry, I’m not looking at you --
gorgeous, and dressed in blue.

HOLLY
(dreamy)
This is Fucking AMAZING.
I feel -- so GOOD.

ALONA
See what you’ve been missing, baby?
Why do you think they call it 'the love drug.'

HOLLY
I want some more vodka.

ALONA
No, no -- just water.
Booze ruins the purity of the high.

BEGGAR
Comes into the room. Blood-splattered.
Holding a HUMAN HAND.

BEGGAR
Guys.

They turn and look.

BEGGAR (CONT’D)
Can I lend you a hand?

He ERUPTS into peels of MAD LAUGHTER.

ALONA
Whoah.

HOLLY
(stares, cocks her head)
It’s -- vibrating.

BEGGAR
I need a break.
I’ve filleted Oscar from the waist up,
and if I have to saw through
one more bone, I’m gonna puke.
Somebody’s gotta take over.

ALONA
(nods at Holly)
She’s cresting. I’ll go next.

She walks over.
Reaches for the hand.
He SLAPS it in hers.

BEGGAR
Wanna SHAKE on it?

ALONA
(squeezes)
Pleased to meet you.

BEGGAR
Read my palm?

ALONA
(holds the hand up to his face)
Uh, the life line looks kinda SHORT.

BEGGAR
Cold hands, warm heart.

They both ERUPT WITH LAUGHTER.
Alona leaves the room,
waving the hand ‘goodbye.’
Holly drifts over to Beggar.

HOLLY
Let’s lie down together.

BEGGAR
(smiles)
Look who’s all uninhibited now.

HOLLY
Me. Me. Me.

Beggar leans in.
Kisses her on the mouth. Deeply.

They move toward the bed, FALL onto it.
Hands all over each other.

BEGGAR
C’mon, baby -- kiss me deadly.

INT. DANETTE AND BERNIE’S SHITTY HOTEL ROOM - AT THAT MOMENT
Danette CLICKS the phone shut. Looks at Bernie.

DANETTE
Voice mail again.
(beat)
I have a bad feeling about this.
Let’s go outside and snoop around.

BERNIE
Maybe he went home and crashed.

DANETTE
Never happen.
The kid LOVES being a cop,
believes in the sacred oath
of protecting citizens.

BERNIE
I have a dim memory of that.

She shrugs into her slacks.
Puts on her jacket.

DANETTE
Just when I thought maybe
we could go for round two --

BERNIE
(getting dressed)
So the ice is thawing a bit --

DANETTE
Well, it IS ninety-five degrees.
Gives a gal ideas.

BERNIE
Well, why do you think
they call it 'in heat?'

Thursday, June 28, 2012

Bad Lieutenant


Happy Thursday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 34 of BLUE HOTEL, Beggar returns to Alona's hotel room and tells her about killing Kenny the young cop, and that he got the ecstasy from his trunk so that he, Alona and Holly can get high before they start cutting up the dead bodies hidden under the bed. Meanwhile, police officers Bernie and Danette enjoy a post-coital moment, and then realize Kenny is missing ...


INT. ALONA’S SHITTY HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT
Alona and Holly sit on the couch, sharing a joint.

Holly looks lost, scared.
Like she’s about to cry.

HOLLY
I think there’s something --
wrong with me, Alona.

ALONA
Don’t be silly.

She puts her hand on Holly’s bare knee.
Rubs it gently.

Holly looks, shy. Likes it.
Cheeks turn red.

HOLLY
I did a -- bad thing, Alona.
A really bad thing.

ALONA
That was an honest mistake, honey.
You thought I was in danger --

HOLLY
No, not that. Back at school --

Alona leans closer. As if to kiss her.

ALONA
Shhhhh --

The door OPENS. In walks Beggar. Freaked out.

ALONA (CONT'D)
(looks)
What’s wrong, baby?

BEGGAR
We’re fucked. I’M fucked.

ALONA
What happened?

BEGGAR
This cop came up to me
while I was opening the trunk --
and he got suspicious of what
I was doing, and I -- I --
(beat)
Killed him.

ALONA
WHAT?

HOLLY
(strange smile)
Did you like it?

BEGGAR
What? NO, of COURSE not.
I didn’t mean to kill him.
I was -- trying to stop him
from finding the E --

ALONA
But you got it okay?

BEGGAR
(pulls out the envelope)
Yeah, yeah, I got it.

ALONA
Thank god.
(realizes)
What did you do with the body?

BEGGAR
He’s -- in the trunk.

ALONA
Holy shit.

BEGGAR
Yeah. Tell me about it.
(beat)
A fucking COP.
(to Holly)
And what the fuck is up with you?
'Did I like it?'

Holly stares at Beggar.
Blank look on her face.

ALONA
Beggar, chill. Holly’s in shock.
It’s been a rough night for all of us.
We’ll deal with Bad Lieutenant later.
First we have to dispose of
our friends under the bed.
It’s going to be light in a couple of hours,
and we gotta jam before they
start stinking the place up -- got it?

BEGGAR
Yeah.

ALONA
So let’s do our drugs and get to work.

Beggar pulls out the envelope. Opens it.
Dumps a small mound on the mirror.
Starts chopping it up.

HOLLY
(eyes grow wide)
I’ve never done ecstacy --

BEGGAR
A virgin?
(beat)
We’ll have to see about THAT.

HOLLY
Promise me you’ll be -- rough?

INT. DANETTE AND BERNIE’S SHITTY HOTEL ROOM - AT THAT MOMENT
Danette lies on the bed, smoking.
Bernie sits near the window,
looking out at the ocean.
Sips from a flask.

BERNIE
Damn, woman.

DANETTE
I know.

BERNIE
Damn.

DANETTE
I know.
(beat)
Damn.

BERNIE
Maybe we could give it another --

DANETTE
No. We’ve done that. Twice.

BERNIE
Yeah.

Pause.

DANETTE
So what’s going on out there?

BERNIE
(looks out the window)
Body’s been taken away.
Techs are almost done.
(beat)
I thought you said the kid
was gonna be out in front.

DANETTE
(sits up)
He’s supposed to be.

BERNIE
He’s not now.

DANETTE
Maybe he went to go take a leak.

BERNIE
Call him. With all the shit
that’s been going down tonight,
you never know.

DANETTE
(reaches for her phone)
Thanks for scaring me --

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Shut Up And Fuck Me


Hey there, crime kids. Happy Hump Day. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 33 of BLUE HOTEL, Beggar goes outside to his car to get ecstasy to help the group deal with cutting up the dead bodies in Alona's room, and runs afoul of the law. Meanwhile plainclothes cops Bernie and Danette check into their room ... and get busy.


EXT. HOTEL STARLIGHT - REAR ALLEY - NIGHT
The back door to the hotel opens.
Out walks Beggar. He looks around.

Walks over to his car.
Sticks his keys in the trunk.

MALE VOICE (O.C.)
Excuse me, sir.

Beggar turns, looks, sees --

KENNY
Standing at the end of the alley.

BEGGAR
Officer.

KENNY
(walks over)
Can I ask you a question?

BEGGAR
Sure thing. What’s up?

Kenny pulls out a picture.
Shows it to him.

KENNY
Have you seen this woman tonight?

ANGLE ON --
The PHOTO.

A grainy still capture
from the liquor store robbery.

HOLLY. Holding a gun.
Face a rictus of death.

BEGGAR
Feigns nonchalance.
tudies the picture.
Shakes his head.

BEGGAR
No, sorry.
Looks kinda dangerous.
What did she do?

KENNY
You don’t watch the news?
She held up a liquor store,
then shot some dude on a bike.
Killed three people tonight.
Maybe more.

Beggar tries for a smile.
Doesn’t quite make it.

BEGGAR
Guess I’d better be careful, huh?

Kenny studies him carefully.

KENNY
You a guest at the hotel?

BEGGAR
Yeah.

KENNY
It’s kinda late, isn’t it?
What were you getting out of the trunk?

BEGGAR
Ran out of smokes.
Just grabbing another pack.

KENNY
People don’t keep cigarettes
in the trunk.
They’d be on the seat,
in the glove compartment.
But not in the trunk.

Beggar’s heart starts racing.
This is NOT going well.

BEGGAR
You want me to show you?

KENNY
Please.

He turns the lock.
Opens the trunk.

It’s empty, except for the spare tire.
A couple of tools. Emergency gas can.

BEGGAR
That’s funny.
I could have sworn --

KENNY
I’m going to have to ask you
to step away from the vehicle, sir.

BEGGAR
But I --

KENNY
Step AWAY from the vehicle, NOW.

Beggar stares. Wheels spinning.
All the coke, booze and pot
working their strange magic.

BEGGAR
Okay, officer. I’m sorry --

He feints to the side,
then GRABS Kenny around the waist.

SLAMS him against the car.
His head CRACKS against the edge
of the trunk with a sickening THUNK.

BANG, he goes down,
face first in the gravel.

BEGGAR
(whispers)
Holy SHIT.

Beggar gets down.
Feels his pulse. Nothing.

BEGGAR
I’ve just been fucked.

He reaches into a
side compartment in the trunk.

Pulls out a small white envelope.
Stuffs it in his pocket.

Picks up Kenny’s body.
Puts it in the trunk.
Quietly closes it.

CLICK. He looks around.
No one. Whew.

BEGGAR
I can’t believe -- I just did that.

He looks down.
Sees blood on the ground.

Starts kicking gravel
over it with his foot.

BEGGAR
My momma warned me
not to date hookers.

INT. DANETTE AND BERNIE’S HOTEL ROOM - AT THAT MOMENT
Danette walks into the room. Then Bernie.

He shuts the door.
Walks up to her.
They stare at each other.

BERNIE
Shitty room.

DANETTE
It’ll do.

BERNIE
Been too long, Net.

DANETTE
(throaty)
Way too long.

She GRABS him.
They go at it, hot and heavy,
fall onto the bed.

Start RIPPING
each other’s clothes off.

BERNIE
Time for your strip search.

DANETTE
Better not be shooting blanks.

BERNIE
Why do you think they call me
a PIECE officer?

DANETTE
Shut up and fuck me.

BERNIE
Now you’re talking.
(whips out handcuffs)
Assume the position,
and spread ‘em.

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Your Vice Is My Command



Happy Tuesday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 32 of BLUE HOTEL, Alona returns to her hotel room with the hacksaw, where she, Holly and Beggar agree to take turns cutting up the dead bodies. Then Beggar remembers he's got uncut ecstasy in his car, and goes down to get it. Meanwhile, homicide detectives Bernie and Danette check into a nearby room to start staking out the joint ...


INT. ALONA’S SHITTY HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT
Alona comes in the room.
Quietly shuts the door.

Looks at Beggar and Holly
sitting on the couch, sharing a joint.
Holds up the hack saw.

ALONA
Ta-daaa --

BEGGAR
Look at the size of THAT.
Good job, babe.

ALONA
Thanks, but I’ve got some bad news.
Gill fell off the roof,
or he jumped, I don’t know --
but he’s dead in the alley,
and now the joint’s swarming with cops.

BEGGAR
Fuck.

HOLLY
Holy shit.

ALONA
Tell me about it.
(beat)
So we gotta take care of
Oscar and Lief, fast.
I say we take turns.
Who wants to go first?

They both stare at her.

HOLLY
How about Beggar?
He’s a GUY.

BEGGAR
How about Holly?
She’s the KILLER.

HOLLY
Shut up.

ALONA
(sighs)
Okay, okay -- I’ll go first.
(beat)
Gimmee a hit of that joint.
I’m gonna have to be REALLY
fucking buzzed to start
cutting up a dead body.

BEGGAR
Wait a minute.
I just remembered something.
I’ve got uncut ecstacy in the car.
THAT can make the job go MUCH better.

HOLLY
Uncut? But I thought it came in a pill.

BEGGAR
The pills are bullshit,
there’s all kinds of
other shit in them.
Back in the day,
you bought E by the gram,
pure powder, baby. Snort it,
lick it, pour some in your cocktail --
(wistful)
Those were the days.
Couldn’t believe I could still find it.

ALONA
How much do you have?

BEGGAR
Ten grams.

ALONA
So go down and get it.

BEGGAR
Your vice is my command.

He gets up.
Goes to the door.

ALONA
Be careful.
There’s cops all over the place.

BEGGAR
Don’t worry.
I’m just your average tourist insomniac,
going out to the car for a pack of smokes.

PUSH IN ON Alona’s face. Amused.

ALONA
If you’re an average tourist,
then I’m Taylor Swift.

INT. HOTEL STARLIGHT - FRONT DESK - AT THAT MOMENT
Bunky looks at Bernie and Danette,
standing at the counter.

BUNKY
Sorry, we’re all full up.
(brightens)
Wait, I forgot --
you can take the jumper’s room.
It’s empty now.

BERNIE
We’ll take it.

BUNKY
So you’re doin’ a stakeout?

DANETTE
Yeah.

BUNKY
Hot dog.
Is there something I can do to help?

BERNIE
Yeah. Call us if you see anyone suspicious.
(hands him his card)
My cell phone number.

DANETTE
Or if you see that girl, Holly.

BUNKY
You got it. Good luck.

They nod. Start up the stairs.
Bunky watches them go.

BUNKY (CONT’D)
Sugar magnolia, blossoms bloomin’ --
a real stakeout,
right here at the Starlight.
(beat)
Why do I have this funny feeling
them two are gonna bone?

Monday, June 25, 2012

What Goes Around, Comes Around



Hey there, crime kids. Happy Monday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 31 of BLUE HOTEL, Alona borrows a hacksaw from Bunky at the front desk to use to chop up the dead bodies in her room. Meanwhile, at the crime scene where Gill's body lies impaled on a fence post, Bernie and Danette decide to check into a room and stake out the joint ...


INT. THE STARLIGHT HOTEL - FRONT DESK - NIGHT0
Alona glides up to the counter.
Bunky smiles toothily.

ALONA
What’s up, Bunky?

BUNKY
Cops, that’s what up.
You see on the news
about that teacher
who killed his wife?
Well, he checked in here tonight,
so I gave ‘em a call --
‘an when they got here,
they found him dead in the alley.
Impaled on a fence post.
Guess he knew they were
comin’ for ‘em and took a dive.

This SOCKS Alona in the gut.
She hides her shock.

ALONA
Holy shit.
(weird smile)
I guess that --
makes it easier for them, huh.

BUNKY
It’s karma, man.
What goes around,
comes around.
(beat)
You’re up late.
Whatcha need?

ALONA
Well, it’s kind of embarrassing --
(beat)
My boyfriend and I were
playing with my -- handcuffs,
and I -- lost the key.

BUNKY
(big grin)
And now you wanna saw ‘em off.

ALONA
(nods)
Yeah.
You have anything I can use?

Bunky gets up.
Walks over to a beaten-up,
old bureau on the side wall.

Opens a drawer.
Rummages around in it.

BUNKY
Old Bunky got everything
in his bag o’ tricks.
Hold on a sec.
(pulls out an enema bag)
You into water sports?
Alona rolls her yes.
Bunky chuckles. Puts it back.
Roots around in the drawer.
Pulls out a giant HACKSAW.

BUNKY
Here we go.
Industrial-sized.
(hands it to her)
Got it from a butcher,
believe it or not.

ALONA
Wow. Thanks.

BUNKY
Bet you could cut up
a dead body real easy
with that sucker.

ALONA
(pales)
Wh-what?

BUNKY
Just joshin’ with ya.
You have a good night, now.

ALONA
(flirty)
I will, thanks.
(beat)
Hey, could you do me a favor?

BUNKY
Name it.

Alona sticks her chest out.
Dark nipples straining against
the pale, gauzy fabric.
Bunky gets an eyeful.

ALONA
Beggar’s going out of town
for a couple weeks,
and this is our last night
together for awhile.
If anybody comes looking for me,
would you tell them I’m not around?
It would mean a lot to me.

BUNKY
(in a daze)
Sure thing --

ALONA
Thanks, baby.

She blows him a kiss,
turns and dashes up the stairs.

BUNKY
(sighs)
Haven’t seen a rack like that
since The Dead at the Fillmore West
in seventy-two.

EXT. STARLIGHT HOTEL - SIDE ALLEY - NIGHT
CRIME SCENE TECHS swarm over the scene.
Gill’s body is carried away on a gurney.

Kenny stands on the boardwalk,
off in the distance.
Keeping onlookers away.

Danette and Bernie stand
next to the fence post,
dark with dried blood.
Inspecting the scene.

DANETTE
A stakeout?
More like a hook-up --

BERNIE
No, listen. I think you’re right,
the murders are connected,
and the killer is in the hotel --
it might even be that young girl, Holly.
So we get a room and stake it out.

DANETTE
Kill two birds with one stone.

BERNIE
So to speak.

Danette reaches over.
Gently touches the tip of the spike.

DANETTE
Freud would have a
field day with this,
don’tcha think?

Friday, June 22, 2012

Till Death Do Us Part



Hey there, crime kids. Happy Friday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 30 of BLUE HOTEL, the body count rises as the cops close in on our intrepid crew of murderers, hookers and drug dealers at the Starlight Hotel on the Venice Beach boardwalk ...


EXT. HOTEL STARLIGHT - FIRE ESCAPE - NIGHT
A crappy, old set of crumbling steel steps.
Gill reaches the landing.
Starts up the ladder toward the roof.

EXT. HOTEL STARLIGHT - ROOF - NIGHT
An old, filthy, tar-papered roof.
The view of the ocean across the beach
is breathtaking. The moon shines brightly.

Gill gets to the top.
Climbs up onto the roof.
Looks around.

GILL
Top of the world, Ma.
(stretches out his arms)
I’m KING of the world.
(looks down)
I’m going to die.

He walks around, looking at
the neighboring buildings.

Stops on the ledge
of the building to the north.

Looks down at the alley.
Then back at the building. Thinking.

GILL
I could jump across to that building --
and then get the fuck out of Dodge.
(beat)
Yeah.

Gill takes a step back.
Turns around and walks to the opposite side.

Exhales. Gathering up his courage.
He closes his eyes. Exhales again.

His eyes FLY OPEN,
and he RUNS across the roof,
gets to the ledge --
and LEAPS INTO THE AIR --

And lands against the
opposite wall with a SLAP.

Hands grab for a hold
on the edge of the roof,
but he can’t find something
to hold onto --
and starts to slip --

GILL
SHIT --

And then FALLS.

CLOSE ON --
A wrought iron fence post.
Gill’s body impaled on it.
Face-up. Right through his torso.

INT. STARLIGHT HOTEL - CORRIDOR - AT THAT MOMENT
Danette stands by the window.
Leans out, looks into the alley
down below. Horrified.

DANETTE
Bernie.

BERNIE
(stops, turns)
What.

DANETTE
(turns, looks at him)
Somebody just fell off the roof.

BERNIE
(comes over)
What the fuck? Really?

DANETTE
(points)
Look.

BERNIE
(looks)
Holy shit. Poor guy.
Human shish-ka-bob.
Talk about 'heartburn.'

DANETTE
Don’t you recognize him?

BERNIE
Fuck. It’s the perp
who shot his wife.
(waves)
Till death do us part, kiddo.

DANETTE
Bernie.

BERNIE
What.

DANETTE
You shouldn’t make jokes about the dead.

BERNIE
Why not?
Haven’t you heard of gallows humor?
It relieves tension.
A cop’s stock and trade.

She looks at him.
Does a ‘take.’ Looks down.

DANETTE
Now that’s what I call a ‘spike.’

They exchange glances.
BURST into laughter.

Start walking down the hallway.
Danette pulls her radio off her belt.
And, as they start down the stairs --

BERNIE
(into the radio)
Hello, dispatch.
We’ve got a possible
ten-fifty six, do you copy?

DOWN THE CORRIDOR
Alona’s door opens.
She walks out.

Sees the cops at the end of the hall.
Watches them go down the stairs.

Heaves a sigh of relief.
Waits a beat. Then starts walking.

ALONA
What’s a ‘ten-fifty six?’

IN THE ALLEY
Danette and Bernie examine
Gill’s body impaled on the fence.

Kenny is further on down the alley.
Throwing up.

BERNIE
Poor kid. His first stiff.

DANETTE
It’s his first week.
Talk about baptism by fire.

Kenny wipes his mouth
on his sleeve. Walks over.

BERNIE
You okay, kid?

KENNY
Yeah.

BERNIE
Don’t feel bad.
I’ve been on the force twenty years
and I’m still not used to it.

KENNY
Seeing a dead body?

BERNIE
No. Seeing a cop puke.
(off his look)
Just busting your chops, sport.
C’mon, let’s go set up
the crime scene tape.

Thursday, June 21, 2012

Once More With Feeling



Happy Thursday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In chapter 29 of BLUE HOTEL, as the cops start searching the hotel for Gill, wanted for the murder of his wife, and start banging on doors, Alona, Holly, Beggar and Gill hide in Alona's hotel room. While Beggar and Holly hide the dead bodies, Gill hides out on the fire escape ... and Alona decides to meet them head-on by asking what all the commotion is about ...


INT. HOTEL STARLIGHT - CORRIDOR - NIGHT
Danette and Bernie stand in front of Gill’s door.
Danette KNOCK-KNOCK-KNOCKS.

DANETTE
(loud)
Gill Shelly, this is the police.
Open the door.
We need to talk to you.

They listen. No answer.

BERNIE
POLICE. OPEN THE DOOR, NOW.

Pause.

DANETTE
Kick it open?

BERNIE
Probably cause?

DANETTE
Got that fucking right.

Bernie steps back.
Then KICKS the door.

The old, shitty wood
CRACKS in half.
They CHARGE IN.

INT. ALONA’S SHITTY HOTEL ROOM - CONTINUOUS
Beggar stands at the door.
Watching through the keyhole.

BEGGAR
(loud whisper)
Jesus fucking Christ.
They just kicked down the door
next to Holly’s room.

Alona and Holly are
down on their hands and knees,
pushing Lief’s body under the bed.
Gill looks at Beggar. Freaking.

GILL
Shit. That’s MY room.
I gotta hide.

ALONA
Go out on the fire escape.
But be careful.
Make sure no one can see you.

GILL
Yeah, okay, good idea --

Gill walks over to the side window
overlooking the side alley.
Opens it. Slowly starts to climb out.

INT. GILL’S SHITTY HOTEL ROOM - CONTINUOUS
Bernie and Danette search the room.
Under the bed. In the bathroom. Nothing.

DANETTE
Goddammit.

BERNIE
Well, at least we know
where he’s staying.

DANETTE
Maybe he’s in Holly’s room.

INT. ALONA’S SHITTY HOTEL ROOM - CONTINUOUS
Beggar looks through the keyhole.

BEGGAR
Shit. Now they’re
knocking on Holly’s door.
They must know something.

HOLLY
Ohmigod, this is like a bad dream.

Alona goes to the bed.
Comforts Holly.

ALONA
Shhhh, it’s gonna be okay.

IN THE CORRIDOR
Bernie KNOCK-KNOCK-KNOCKS
on Holly’s door.

BERNIE
Ms. Land, this is the police,
OPEN THE DOOR.

Silence.

DANETTE
HOLLY LAND, THIS IS THE POLICE.
OPEN THIS DOOR, RIGHT NOW.

BERNIE
(steps back)
Once more with feeling.

DANETTE
Wait a sec.

She puts her hand on the knob.
Opens the door.

DANETTE (CONT’D)
C’mon.

INT. ALONA’S SHITTY HOTEL ROOM - AT THAT MOMENT
Beggar watches through the keyhole.

BEGGAR
They went in. Shit.
(looks at Holly)
You don’t have anything
incriminating in there, do you?

HOLLY
Just my laptop --
and a bottle of vodka.

ALONA
They must know something.
First Gill’s room, then Holly’s.
We gotta hide.

BEGGAR
Where? We’re trapped in this room.

HOLLY
We could get in bed --
and pretend to be asleep.

ALONA
Wait, no -- I’ve got a better idea.
What if I meet them head-on?
Divert suspicion.

BEGGAR
But it’s four in the morning.
Where would you say you’re going?

ALONA
I heard the commotion,
and I wanted to know
what was going on.
I mean, it would be weird
if I WASN’T curious, right?

BEGGAR
Yeah, yeah. Great. Go for it.

PUSH IN ON Alona’s face.
Gathering her courage.

ALONA
Here goes nothing --

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

To Protect And Serve



Hey there, crime kids. Happy Wednesday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 28 of BLUE HOTEL, now that Alona, Holly and Beggar have a second dead body to deal with, they decide that one of them needs to go out and find a hack saw so they can start cutting them up. Problem is, the police have arrived, and are now searching the hotel, room by room ...


INT. HOTEL STARLIGHT - FRONT DESK - NIGHT
Kenny stands chatting with Bunky.
Scribbling something in his note pad.
Danette and Bernie walk in.

BUNKY
Evenin’, officers.
I was just givin’ my statement
to your compatriot here.

KENNY
(to Danette)
He’s on the second floor, in room 25.
Checked in a little before midnight.

DANETTE
Has he left his room?

BUNKY
He went out about twelve-thirty,
that’s when I first saw him.
I’m the night man, midnight to eight.
He was with another guest,
young girl named Holly. Holly Land.

BERNIE
How long was he gone?

BUNKY
‘Bout an hour, I guess.

DANETTE
(to Bernie)
That’s when he got mugged and carjacked,
then came to the station.
(to Bunky)
Did he go out again?

BUNKY
Yeah, he did -- right away.
Then came back forty-five minutes later.
Looked spooked. An’ he was limpin.’
Now I know why.

BERNIE
He’s up there now?

BUNKY
Far as I know.

DANETTE
What’s the story with Holly?

BUNKY
Nice kid.
Don’t know that much about her,
only been here a couple of weeks.
Said she was a writer.
Hangs out sometimes with Alona,
one of our permanent residents.

BERNIE
What’s her story?

BUNKY
Alona’s okay --
for a lady of the evening.

DANETTE
She’s a hooker?

BUNKY
World’s oldest profession.
She’s good people.

BERNIE
What room is Holly in?

BUNKY
Room 24, right next to Gill’s.
(beat)
Excuse me. Gotta go the head.

He turns, goes into the next room.

DANETTE
Okay, thanks.
(to Bernie)
C’mon, let’s go up.
(to Kenny)
Do me a favor and keep watch outside?

KENNY
Yes, ma’am. To protect and serve --
(smiles)
You.

Kenny salutes. Trots off.

DANETTE
Ah, to be a rookie again.
So full of energy, hope, promise.

BERNIE
Well there’s that --
and he wants to fuck your brains out.

DANETTE
Guess there’s a lot of that
going around, huh.

INT. ALONA’S SHITTY HOTEL ROOM - AT THAT MOMENT
Beggar looks at Alona. Then Holly.

Gills sits on the floor
with his head in his hands.

BEGGAR
Okay, think, think --
what do we do?

ALONA
Stash Lief under the bed with Oscar.
Then, after the cops leave,
I’ll go down to the desk
and talk to Jerry Garcia
about a hacksaw.

Holly sits on the bed.
Looks spooked. Haunted.

HOLLY
What about the fire escape?
We could always go up on the roof.

GILL
And what do we do
once we’re up there?
My god, are you stupid.

HOLLY
Shut up, asshole.

ALONA
Keep your voices down.
They might be coming upstairs.

Beggar goes to the door.
Looks through the peephole.

BEGGAR
(whispers)
Shit, they’re here --

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Friends With Benefits



Happy Tuesday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 27 of BLUE HOTEL, hotel front desk manager Bunky recognizes Gill on the TV news report of his wife's murder, and calls the cops. Dannette and Bernie take the call and head over to the hotel. Meanwhile, Alona, Beggar, Holly and Gill are preparing to cut up the dead body, but then see the cops approaching the hotel out the window ...


INT. THE STARLIGHT HOTEL - FRONT DESK - NIGHT
The Grateful Dead wheezes its gnarled tales
of drugged-out hippie glory on a shitty boombox.

A tiny, shitty black and white TV is on the counter
with the sound turned down.

Bunky sits behind the counter
reading one of those free weekly rags.
Slowly mouthing the words.

BUNKY
Fucking Republican asshole
shit-for-brains --

Something on the screen
catches his eye.

BUNKY (CONT’D)
Hey, that guy checked in tonight.

He reaches over, turns up the volume.

ON THE SCREEN
We see a still of GILL.
Some ‘official school photo.’

He looks happy, relaxed.
Glazed smile oozing preppy charm.

ANNOUNCER (O.C.)
-- wanted for questioning in connection with
the shooting death of his wife.
If you see this man,
contact your local precinct immediately.

BUNKY
Holy shit.

He turns the sound back down.
Scratches his chin.

Picks up the phone.
Dials a number.

BUNKY (CONT’D)
Hello? This is Bunky Mertz
over at the Starlight Hotel?
That guy you’re looking for
that killed his wife?
He’s staying here.

INT. VENICE BEACH POLICE SUBSTATION - AT THAT MOMENT
Danette and Bernie sit at a table
near the coffee maker.
Sipping java from styrofoam cups.

Kenny sits across the room,
talking on the phone excitedly.

BERNIE
This is really good coffee. Did you --

DANETTE
I’m still not fucking you, Bernie.

KENNY
Okay, thanks.
(hangs up)
Guys, that was the night manager
of the Hotel Starlight.
The guy who shot his wife
checked in a little while ago.

BERNIE
You mean Gill Sherry?

KENNY
Yeah, guy said he saw
his picture on the news.

DANETTE
Allegedly killed his wife.
In this country, a suspect is
innocent until proven guilty.

BERNIE
Yeah, right -- so why the fuck
did he check into a fleabag hotel?

Danette stares at him. Simmering.
He glares at her.

KENNY
Uh, guys -- don’t you think
we should go over there?

DANETTE
You go on ahead,
question the night manager.
We’ll be right there.

KENNY
Okay --

He salutes, and DASHES out the door.
Danette sips her coffee.
Gives Bernie the fish-eye.

DANETTE
After my shift,
we’ll go back to my place.

BERNIE
Holy shit. Really?

DANETTE
C’mon, let’s go.
Before I change my mind.

They get up.
Start for the door.

BERNIE
Admit it, the chemistry is still there.

DANETTE
(stops, looks at him)
Calm down, Casanova.
I haven’t gotten laid in three months.

BERNIE
So what am I,
a ‘friend with benefits?’

DANETTE
More like, ‘cop with nightstick.’

BERNIE
So -- you’re just gonna use me.

DANETTE
That’s about the size of it.

BERNIE
(shrugs)
Works for me.

INT. ALONA’S SHITTY HOTEL ROOM - AT THAT MOMENT
Beggar and Alona roll Lief’s body up
in the large, imitation Persian rug.

Holly sits on the bed, in a daze,
looks out the window,
drinking vodka out of the bottle.

A pile of BLOODY TOWELS
sits by the wall.

We hear the sound of VOMITING in the bathroom.
The toilet FLUSHES.

Gill comes into the room,
white as a ghost.

GILL
I’m leaving. Going to Mexico.
Come with me, Alona. Please.
We can start a new life together.

BEGGAR
Shut the fuck up, asshole.
Leave my woman alone.

ALONA
(to Beggar)
YOUR woman? I’m NOBODY’S woman.

BEGGAR
What the fuck?

GILL
That’s RIGHT, she’s NOBODY’S woman.
She’s a free spirit, a bird, free to fly.
(to Alona)
Come fly with me, my love.

ALONA
Cut the crap, Gill.
We’ve got a situation here.

BEGGAR
(to Gill)
Yeah, and you’re not going ANYWHERE.

GILL
Oh YEAH? Try and STOP ME.

Gill goes to the door.
GRABS the doorknob.

BEGGAR
You open that door
and I’ll punch your fucking clock.

Holly sees something out the window.
Eyes BUG OUT.

HOLLY
GUYS. There’s a couple of COPS outside.
(watches)
And they’re COMING IN THE HOTEL --

Monday, June 18, 2012

Cased Dismissed



Hey there, crime kids. Happy Monday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 26 of BLUE HOTEL, when Alona, Begger, Lief and Holly decide the best way to get rid of the dead body in Alona's hotel room is to cut it up into little pieces, Lief freaks out and says he's going to the cops to turn himself in ... but that doesn't sit with with the others, and things soon escalate into violence ...


INT. ALONA’S SHITTY HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT
The boozy, sax-drenched death-swoon
of Morphine plays on the boombox.
Eerie. Spooky. Sexy.

Beggar and Gill sit on the couch.
Lief sit on the window sill,
looking out at the beach.

Now pensive.
He holds the bottle of vodka.
Takes a swig. Wipes his mouth.

Holly and Alona sit on the floor
in front of the coffee table.
Alona HONKS up a line. Then Holly.

HOLLY
It BURNS.

BEGGAR
Now look who’s a big girl.

ALONA
(to Beggar)
I’ve got an idea --
(manic grin)
That old hippie down at the desk
knows EVERYBODY in the nabe.
I’ll go down there and tell him
you and I were playing handcuff games,
and that we lost the key.
(sweetly)
'Please, Mr. Natural,
do you know where I can get
a hack saw this late at night?'

BEGGAR
(nods)
But what are we gonna
put the -- pieces in?

ALONA
Trash bags.
(big smile)
Don’t get mad. Get GLAD.

HOLLY
(giggles)
Now we’re talking trash.

Lief turns around.
Glares at them.

LIEF
You people are fucking CRAZY.
(hops off the sill)
I’m going to the cops.
Turning myself in.
I’m an officer of the court.
(stares at Holly)
And I didn’t KILL anyone.
(to the group)
And you’re all joking around
about cutting up a fucking DEAD BODY.
Fucking SICK.

ALONA
What the fuck?
(to Beggar)
You said he was an asshole --

LIEF
WHAT?

ALONA
You’re not going anywhere,
'officer of the court.'
You know too much.

LIEF
Oh YEAH?

ALONA
Yeah.

LIEF
Watch me.

He starts for the door.
Beggar gets up, RACES over.

Gets in front of him.
Puts his hand on Lief’s chest.

BEGGAR
I’m sorry, Lief.
I’m not letting you go.

LIEF
Out of my way,
you fucking drug dealer.

BEGGAR
Oh, so now you’re the
high and mighty lawyer
who buys COKE from the
'fucking drug dealer?'

LIEF
That may be, but at least
I’m not fucking a WHORE.
(beat)
Now get the FUCK out of my way.

ALONA
WHAT did you call me?

Alona LEAPS off the bed.
CHARGES at Lief.

GRABS him around the neck.
Tries to CHOKE him. SCREAMS.

ALONA
Fucking ASSHOLE.

Lief GRABS her hands,
FLINGS THEM away.

SPINS AROUND, and PUNCHES
her in the stomach. HARD.

She FLIES BACK,
hits the floor with a CRACK.

ALONA
OW!

LIEF
You fucking ASSHOLE.

Beggar CHARGES at Lief,
GRABS him around the chest,
pushes him to the floor, BANG.

They GRAPPLE, writhe on the carpet.
Lief GRABS Beggar around the throat.
Starts CHOKING him.

BEGGAR
GAAAAA --

ALONA
(tries to get up)
STOP IT.

Holly LEAPS off the bed.
GRABS a letter opener off the table,
and PLUNGES it into Lief’s neck.

PUNCTURING an artery.
A GEYSER OF BLOOD SPRAYS.

Lief lets go of Beggar.
GRABS his neck.
Stares in disbelief.

LIEF
You fucking -- stabbed me.

He hits the floor, THWUNK.
His hand falls away. Blood SPURTS.

Slows, keeps pumping.
A dark stain grows on the carpet.

GILL
Holy fucking shit.

ALONA
HOLLY.

BEGGAR
Jesus Christ.

Pause.

HOLLY
He was -- gonna kill you.

BEGGAR
I know, but --

ALONA
Goddamit, Holly.

Holly stares.
A strange smile
flickers across her face.

HOLLY
'Case dismissed.'

Friday, June 15, 2012

Bite-Sized Chunks



Hey there, crime kids. Happy Friday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 25 of BLUE HOTEL, police officers Dannette Day and Bernie Keko watch the surveillance tape of Holly shooting Feo outside the Venice Beach condo, and recognize her from the liquor store robbery. Meanwhile, Alona, Holly, Beggar Lief try to decide how to get rid of the dead body in Alona's hotel room ...


EXT. MARKET STREET - LUXURY CONDO BUILDING - NIGHT
The scene is swarming with POLICE CRUISERS,
COPS, CRIME SCENE TECHS.

A small crowd of ONLOOKERS stand behind yellow tape.
A NEWS CREW VAN pulls up to the curb.

Danette and Kenny walk over to an
ANGRY HOMICIDE DETECTIVE (40’s), burly, gone to seed.

Meet BERNIE KEKO. Sipping a cup of designer coffee.
Unlit cigar stuck in his mouth.

BERNIE
Officer Day. We meet again.

DANETTE
Stuff it, Keko.
I heard there’s a security tape.
I want to see it.

BERNIE
Sorry, doll. It’s my case now.

DANETTE
Listen, doll.
I know this nabe like the back of my hand.
You NEED my help on this one.

Pause.

BERNIE
Just fucking with you.
Come on inside.
Building manager’s office.
You can even bring John Boy.

DANETTE
You just love to see me squirm, don’t you?

BERNIE
Like old times, huh?

KENNY
Who’s John boy?

INT. ALONA’S SHITTY HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT
Beggar sits on the couch.
Chops up lines of coke on the coffee table.
Gill and Lief sit on either side of him.

BEGGAR
You’re crazy.
We’re NOT cutting up the body. I
say we sneak him out into the back alley
and drive off somewhere and get rid of it.
(beat)
But not in my car.
The cops might’ve seen it
leaving Lief’s condo.

ALONA
But you’re the only one of us
that HAS a car.

Holly sits on the bed,
next to Alona. Sips her drink.

HOLLY
We could take him out to the ocean.
Let the tide take him away.

ALONA
He’s too big, Holly.
How are we gonna drag him all the way
to the shore without being seen?
(nasty smile)
Unless he’s in little bite-sized chunks.

Beggar LAUGHS. SNORTS up a line.
Hands the rolled up bill to Gill.
He shakes his head ‘no.’ Lief GRABS it.

LIEF
Thanks. Gotta clear my head.
(SNORTS a line, shakes his head)
Damn, that’s good shit.
Stairway to fucking HEAVEN.
(SNORTS another, sings)
There’s a lady whose sure
all that glitters is gold --

Gill looks at Lief.
The manic, happy gleam in his eyes.

GILL
Can I get a -- bustle in my hedgerow?

INT. EXPENSIVE CONDO - SECURITY OFFICE - AT THAT MOMENT
Danette, Kenny and Bernie huddle around a monitor
in the tiny security office in the lobby.

The SECURITY GUARD (20’s),
a skinny young Hispanic kid,
stands behind them.
Leans over. Presses a button.

SKINNY YOUNG SECURITY GUARD
Check it out. I’ll be right back,
gotta go take a piss.

He walks away.

ON THE MONITOR
We see the scene unfold earlier
between Feo and Holly in black and white.

Feo RACES over the bike. HOPS ON it.
Then gets SHOT in the back. BANG. He FALLS OVER.

Holly RACES into the frame.
JUMPS on the bike, and pedals away
like a bat out of hell.

IN THE OFFICE
Danette and Kenny exchange glances.

DANETTE
That’s the girl from the liquor store holdup.

KENNY
It sure as shit is.

BERNIE
I saw that story on the news.

DANETTE
She must live around here.

KENNY
So what are we gonna do,
start knocking on doors
at three in the morning?

Danette sighs. Shakes her head.

BERNIE
Busiest night I can remember.
Just came from a homicide off Main Street.
High school science teacher,
shot dead in her kitchen.
And the husband’s missing.

DANETTE
Maybe it’s connected --

BERNIE
Nah. I don’t think so.

DANETTE
We have maybe five murders
a year on Venice beach,
and there’ve been three tonight.
That we know about.

BERNIE
You have coffee at the substation?

DANETTE
Is there a brother in the White House?

BERNIE
Whaddaya say we go grab a cup
and do some brainstorming.

DANETTE
Okay.
(beat)
But it’s OVER, Bernie.
I’m not fucking you.

KENNY
(does a ‘take’)
You mean you two --

DANETTE
Zip it, officer.
That case is CLOSED.

Thursday, June 14, 2012

The Strong, Silent Type



Happy Thursday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 24 of BLUE HOTEL, panic sets in when hipster hooker Alona Tal learns that the 'associates' of her drug dealer boyfriend Beggar Leck who were supposed to come and get rid of the dead body in her hotel room were killed trying to rob a dungeon earlier that evening ...


INT. ALONA’S SHITTY HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT
Groovy space-dub from Thievery Corporation
softly thump-thumps on the boom box.

Alona sits on the window sill.
Lights a joint. Takes a big hit.
Holds it in. Exhales.

ALONA
(looks at the bed)
How you doing under there, Oscar?
Feeling a bit -- stiff?
(listens)
The strong, silent type, huh?

A light RAP-RAP-RAP on the door.

BEGGAR (O.C.)
Alona, it’s me.

ALONA
Come on in, it’s not locked.

The door OPENS.
In walks Beggar and Lief.

Beggar closes it.
Locks the door behind him.
Smiles sadly at Alona.

BEGGAR
Hey, babe.

ALONA
Hey.
(looks at Lief)
Hey, there. Uh --

LIEF
Lief.

ALONA
That’s right, River’s brother.

LIEF
Funny. I’ve NEVER heard that before.
(to Beggar)
So where’s the -- you know.

BEGGAR
Under the bed.

ALONA
Thank god you’re here.
I’ve been going fucking stir crazy.
Can you call your friend,
see if he can come sooner?

BEGGAR
Yeah. Good idea.
(pulls out his phone)
Can I get a hit of that?

Alona nods. Hands him the joint. He takes a big hit.
Passes it to Lief. Punches in a number. Listens.

INTERCUT WITH:

EXT. WAREHOUSE/FETISH CLUB - NIGHT
A few PATROL CARS are parked in front,
cherry lights FLASHING.

A CORONER’S OFFICE TECH wheels a body on a gurney
toward a waiting ambulance.

A SURLY HOMICIDE DETECTIVE (40’s) watches.
Lights up a smoke.

A phone RINGS in the body bag.
Coroner Tech stops. Looks.

SURLY HOMICIDE DICK
Let me answer it. It could be a lead.

RING-RING.

CORONER TECH
Sure thing, Dell.

Coroner Tech unzips the bag.
We see it’s Vlad’s. Dead and bloody.

Dell fishes around in his pockets,
pulls out the phone.
Puts it to his ear. Listens.

DELL
Who is this?

BEGGAR
Vlad? You’re not Vlad.

DELL
No, I’m not. Vlad’s dead. Who is THIS?

BEGGAR
Vlad’s DEAD? Who is THIS?

DELL
Homicide detective Dell Magid.
I’d like to ask you a few questions --

INT. ALONA’S SHITTY HOTEL ROOM - CONTINUOUS
Beggar SNAPS his phone shut.
Looks at Alona, wild-eyed.

BEGGAR
Holy SHIT.

ALONA
Vlad’s DEAD? What happened?

BEGGAR
I don’t know. It was a fucking COP.

LIEF
Who’s Vlad?

BEGGAR
He was supposed to come here
and help us with our --
(looks at the bed)
Problem.

ALONA
So what the fuck are we going to do NOW?

BEGGAR
Guess we’re gonna have to
take care of it ourselves.

A soft KNOCK-KNOCK-KNOCK on the door.

HOLLY (O.C.)
Alona, it’s me, Holly.

Beggar goes to the door. Opens it.
Holly comes in. Looks scared. Lost.
More than a little freaked out.

ALONA
Holly --

She races over to Alona.
Grabs her in a hug. Shaking.

ALONA (CONT’D)
Baby, what’s wrong?
(realizes)
Wait a minute, where’s Feo?

HOLLY
He’s DEAD.

BEGGAR
What THE FUCK?

ALONA
What happened?

HOLLY
(pulls away, wipes her eyes)
He ran away, and I-I chased after him,
but he got on a bike, and-and,
he was getting away, and I, I --
(beat)
Shot him.

BEGGAR
Jesus fucking Christ on a stick.

HOLLY
It’s okay. Nobody saw us.

ALONA
You sure?

HOLLY
Yeah.

BEGGAR
Did you at least get his money?

HOLLY
Yeah. Eighty bucks.

BEGGAR
Well, that’s just great.
We can go on that trip
we’ve been planning.
(beat)
You’re a psycho, you know that?
What’s the body count now? THREE PEOPLE?

ALONA
Leave her alone.
Yelling at her isn’t going to help.

LIEF
And I thought I had problems --

A sharp RAP-RAP-RAP on the door.

GILL
Alona, it’s me, Gill. Let me in.
I’ve been -- hurt.

BEGGAR
This is unbelievable.
What the fuck is this, Grand Central Station?

He goes to the door. Unlocks it. Gill stumbles in.
A filthy rag is tied around his foot. Oozing blood.

GILL
Alona --

ALONA
What happened to your foot?

Gill goes to the bed. Sits. Looks at the wound.

GILL
It’s -- oh my god.
(looks up)
Donna caught me with her purse.
Pulled a gun on me. We struggled for it.
She got me in the foot. We fought, and --
(beat)
I shot her.

ALONA
Is she -- dead?

GILL
Very.

BEGGAR
You killed someone TOO?

LIEF
You guys should start a club.
At least MY dead body was accidental.

BEGGAR
Shut up. I need to think --

Holly goes to the kitchenette.
Pours herself a cup of vodka.
Looks at Alona. She nods.

ALONA
Thanks.

GILL
Pour me one, too?

Holly nods. Looks at Beggar.

BEGGAR
Yeah.

LIEF
Me three.

She pours the drinks.
Brings them over.

Everyone takes one. They sip.
Look at each other nervously.

ALONA
We’re gonna have to do it ourselves.

BEGGAR
She’s right.
(beat)
Goddammit.

LIEF
Do what?

HOLLY
Dispose of the body.

GILL
Uh, count me out.
I’m just going to go back to my room and --

ALONA
Fuck that. You’re not going ANYWHERE.
We’re all in this together, GOT IT?

Pause.

GILL
Got it.

Everyone stares at each other.
Miserable. Freaked out.

Alona drains her cup.
Walks over to the kitchenette.

Pours another. Turns.
Looks at the room. Eyes blazing.

ALONA
Okay. We’re gonna need something
to cut Oscar up with.
A hack saw, butcher’s knife --
(sips her drink)
Anybody got any ideas?

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Insufficient Funds



Hey there, crime kids. Happy Hump Day. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 23 of BLUE HOTEL, boozy screenwriter Holly Land takes Feo, the assistant to the Hollywood agent she killed earlier that night to a cash machine to drain his account to help pay the thugs Alona hired to get rid of the agent's body lying in her hotel room ... but the 'transaction' doesn't go as planned ...


EXT. VENICE BEACH - CITY STREET - NIGHT
The Bank we’ve seen before.
Across the street from the post office.
Totally deserted at this hour on a week night.

Feo appears, walking briskly.
Followed by Holly.

Holding the gun in her coat pocket,
pointed at his back.

FEO
Do you mind if I ask why you --

HOLLY
YES. Keep moving.

They get to the bank.
Feo pulls out his wallet.

Takes out his ATM card.
Slides it in the machine.

Punches in his pin code.
Then makes his transaction.

FEO
Then we’re going
back to the hotel?

HOLLY
Yeah.

FEO
(looks at the screen)
Not enough FUNDS?
That’s not POSSIBLE.

He punches another button.
Looks again.

FEO
Eighty-four bucks?
That can’t be --
(thinks)
Oh, shit -- that’s right.
(looks at her)
I just paid my phone bill.

HOLLY
I don’t believe you.

FEO
Look at the fucking screen.
It’s right there.
My balance is
eighty-four-fucking bucks.

HOLLY
(peers at the screen)
Then take out eighty.

Feo punches another button.
Then another. Cash slides out.

He grabs it.
Hands it to her.

His card comes out.
He takes it.

Put it back in his wallet.
Turns around.

FEO
Happy now?

HOLLY
Let’s go. March.

FEO
Yes, ma’am.

They start walking
west toward the hotel.

FEO
So can I ask you something?

HOLLY
No. Shut up and walk.

FEO
Okay, chill, chill.

They pass an alley on their right.
Feo looks to his left.

FEO
Holy SHIT.

HOLLY
(turns her head)
What?

Feo TAKES OFF
down the alley at a SPRINT.

HOLLY
COME BACK HERE!

She RUNS after him.

IN THE ALLEY
Feo RUNS, looks behind his shoulder.
Sees Holly in pursuit.

HOLLY
Fucking ASSHOLE.
Come BACK HERE!

Feo gets to the corner, turns left,
and SMASHES into a row of trash cans.
He HITS the ground, BANG.

Holly catches up to him,
gun in hand.
Quivering with rage.

HOLLY
God-fucking-DAMMIT. Get UP.

Feo GRABS a trash can
with super-human strength.

THROWS it at her, BANG.
She FALLS, HITS the ground.

He TAKES OFF.
Holly JUMPS UP, RUNS after him.

DOWN THE STREET
At the intersection,
Feo RUNS across the street,
Holly in hot pursuit.

He sees a BICYCLE resting
against the front stoop of an
expensive-looking modern building.
He GRABS it. JUMPS on.

HOLLY
NO!

Feo starts pedalling away.

HOLLY
Raises the gun and FIRES.
BANG. BANG. BANG.

FEO
Gets HIT in the back.
He FALLS OFF the bike, CRACK.

Face in the pavement.
A pool of blood starts forming.

HOLLY
Runs up to him. Sees he’s dead.

HOLLY
Shit. Not another one.

She looks around.
All is quiet. Nobody around.
She gets on the bike and pedals away.

ANGLE ON --
A SECURITY CAMERA on the wall
of the building above the front door.

Red light BLINKING.

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

The Asshole Lawyer



Happy Tuesday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 22 of BLUE HOTEL, Russian gangsters Vlad and Anya try to rob the dungeon, with disastrous results. Meanwhile, drug dealer Begger Leck and attorney Lief Scott, having escaped the dead girl's OD at Lief's party, decide to head over to hipster hooker Alona Tal's shitty hotel room on the Venice Beach boardwalk to get 'a different kind of blow' ...


INT. CLUB FETISH - NIGHT
Vlad and Anya huddle in front of a door
in the bowels of the club.
Pull out their guns.

VLAD
Time to pop cherry.

ANYA
Ready, willing and disabled.

They kiss. Smile.
Vlad RAISES his gun.
KICKS the door.
They storm into --

INT. CLUB FETISH - OFFICE - CONTINUOUS
A swanky room Larry Flynt would love.
Art-directed sleaze.

A LARGE, UGLY SLAVE (30’s) stands next to a gorgeous,
black-haired LEATHER-CLAD DOM (40’S) sitting at her desk.

On the desk is a large stack of MONEY,
which she is counting.

A MOUND OF COKE is also in view.
An open safe sits nearby.

Vlad and Anya BURST into the room, weapons drawn.
They CHARGE up to the desk.

VLAD
Do not MOVE. This is ROBBERY.

ANYA
Put hands up or we SHOOT.

DOMINATRIX CLUB OWNER
You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.
You’ll never get out of here alive.
(to the slave)
Sick ‘em, Bruno.

Bruno raises an UZI SUB-MACHINE GUN.
Looks behind Vlad and Anya.
Grins a sickly smile.

BRUNO
Fredo. Glad you could join us.

Anya turns and looks.
Bruno SPRAYS her with bullets.

She FLIES in the air like a rag doll.
Hits the wall, THWUMP.

Enraged, Vlad FIRES at Bruno, BANG.
He goes down, THUD.

VLAD
You killed MY LITTLE FLOWER.

Dominatrix raises a gleaming 357 Magnum.

DOMINATRIX CLUB OWNER
And you killed my fucking SLAVE.

She SHOOTS Vlad, BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG.
He hits the floor, THWUNK.

She looks at the bodies.
Shakes her head.

DOMINATRIX CLUB OWNER (CONT’D)
Asshole. Do you know how HARD IT IS
to find a good submissive?

EXT. VENICE PIER - NIGHT
Moonlight shines over the black water of the ocean.
The dull roar of waves crashing against the shore.

Beggar’s red convertible is parked
in a far corner of the parking lot.
Now almost empty.

INT. BEGGAR’S CONVERTIBLE - CONTINUOUS
Beggar turns up the heat. Lights a smoke.
Looks at Lief.

BEGGAR
What a fucking night.

LIEF
Tell me about it.
(beat)
So where are we going to go?

BEGGAR
We?

LIEF
I thought maybe I could -- stay at --
(off his stare)
Okay, okay. I get it.
You’ll sell me drugs,
but you won’t help me out.

BEGGAR
I’m not going home, Lief -- I --
(beat)
Have my own crisis to deal with.

LIEF
Your own crisis.
Like it could possibly be as urgent
as a dead body in your house.

BEGGAR
Actually, it is.
(sighs)
You remember my girlfriend?
She was with a client tonight,
this asshole who likes rough stuff.
Well, her NEIGHBOR, this drunken
wannabe screenwriter thought it was real,
and ran in and stabbed the bastard.
(another drag)
Fucking closet case.

LIEF
Holy shit. What happened?
Did the cops come?

BEGGAR
No. There’s always loud shit
going on in that joint.
We’ve got the body -- hidden,
and we need five-K to pay
some people I know to get rid of it.
(beat)
That’s why I really need
to sell you the blow.
Can we still do it?

LIEF
Shit. I dunno. Yeah. No. Fuck.
I gotta think --
(beat)
If I go back there,
I’m in deep shit -- but if I run --

Beggar’s cell phone RINGS. He answers it.

BEGGAR
Hey.

INTERCUT WITH:

INT. ALONA’S SHITTY HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT
Holly sits on the window sill with a cup of vodka,
looking out at the ocean.

Alona sits on the bed.
Talks on her cell.

ALONA
Where are you?
What’s going on?
Did you do the deal?

BEGGAR
No. I was just about to,
but some fucking bimbo OD’d
and fucking DIED.

ALONA
Holy SHIT. So THEN what happened?

BEGGAR
What do you fucking THINK happened?
We got the fuck out of there.

ALONA
The guy, too?

BEGGAR
Yeah, Lief.
You met him at that party at his joint.
The condo on the beach?

ALONA
Oh, yeah. The asshole lawyer.

BEGGAR
(looks at him)
He’s with me right now.
Still deciding what he’s gonna do.
He’s not exactly in the mood to buy any snow,
if you get my drift.
What’s up on your end?

ALONA
SHIT is up my end.
I tricked with Gill,
and then sent him to go get more cash,
but the jerk got mugged.
(bitter laugh)
And right now he’s breaking into HIS OWN house.

BEGGAR
Fuck.

ALONA
Wait. It gets better.
(sips her drink)
Oscar’s ASSISTANT has been poking around
looking for him, hooked up with Holly,
and figured out the deal,
so SHE pulled her gun on him
and took him back to her room.

BEGGAR
What the fucking FUCK?

ALONA
Chill, it’s okay.
She’s taken him to a cash machine.
We need the money, right?
(sips her drink)
We just have to figure out
what to do with him when they get back.

BEGGAR
Fuck.

ALONA
I know.
(thinks)
Hey, wait a minute.
The lawyer is filthy rich, right?

BEGGAR
Yeah --

ALONA
Bring ‘em back to the hotel.
I’LL get money out of him.

BEGGAR
(looks at Lief)
Yeah. That’s -- not a bad idea.

ALONA
Then get your ass over here.
I’m tired of hanging out with Oscar.

BEGGAR
Okay, see ya. Bye --

He clicks the phone shut.
Looks at Lief. A sickly grin.

LIEF
Who was that?

BEGGAR
Alona. I’m supposed to bring you
over to her place.

LIEF
What for?

BEGGAR
Play your cards right,
and it might be 'a different kind of blow.'

Monday, June 11, 2012

Here's Blood In Your Eye



Hey there, crime kids. Happy Monday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 21 of BLUE HOTEL, hipster hooker Alona Tal and boozy screenwriter Holly Land hold the dead agent's assistant hostage in Alona's hotel room. Meanwhile, schoolteacher Gill Sherry sneaks into his own home to steal money from his wife to help pay for Alona's 'dead body removal,' with disastrous results ...


INT. HOLLY’S SHITTY HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT
Alona looks at Holly.
Pointing her gun at Feo on the bed.

ALONA
That was Gill. He got carjacked.
AND mugged. We are SO fucked.

FEO
Who’s Gill?

HOLLY
None of your fucking business.

ALONA
I need a drink.

She walks over to the kitchenette.
Pours herself a plastic cup of vodka.
Takes a big hit. Looks at Holly.

ALONA
You want one?

HOLLY
Yeah. Thanks.

FEO
I could use a --
(beat)
Never mind.

Alona pours one for Holly.
Brings it to her.

ALONA
Here’s blood in your eye --

They both drink. Stare at Feo.

ALONA
What should we do with him?

HOLLY
I’ve got an idea.
(to Feo)
How much money do you have in the bank?

FEO
Uh, a couple hundred bucks --

HOLLY
(to Alona)
I take him to a cash machine.
Drain his account.
Then bring him back.

ALONA
But that would be -- armed robbery.

HOLLY
And your point is?

EXT. GILL’S BUNGALOW - REAR - NIGHT
Moonlight shines over the back yard.
Gill climbs over the fence.

Walks carefully down the
side of the lot, looking around.

Gets to the back door.
Pulls out his keys.

He opens the door slowly.
Goes in.

INT. GILL’S BUNGALOW - KITCHEN - CONTINUOUS
Lights out. Gill looks around.
Deciding what to do.

He sees Donna’s purse on the counter.
Walks over. Picks it up.

FEMALE VOICE (O.C.)
Don’t fucking MOVE.

DONNA
Stands in the doorway.
A ghostly spectre in her robe.
Pointing a HANDGUN.

She reaches over,
SNAPS on the lights.

GILL
Don’t shoot, DON’T SHOOT.

DONNA
Gill? What the fuck
are YOU doing here?
(sees her purse)
What the FUCK?
Were you going to ROB me?

GILL
It’s not what it looks like, Donna --

DONNA
Do you mean to tell me you actually
snuck back in the house to
STEAL from my purse?

GILL
Donna, please -- let me explain --

Pause.

DONNA
I’m waiting.
(beat)
And it better be good.

GILL
I have this friend
that’s -- in trouble.
I went to the bank
to get some money for her,
and I got mugged.
Then carjacked.

Donna starts walking toward him,
waving the gun.

DONNA
A FRIEND?
Is this the FRIEND
you were FUCKING?

GILL
Please put the gun down, Donna.
It might go off.

DONNA
Go OFF? GO OFF?
I’M the one that’s gonna GO OFF.
You didn’t answer my QUESTION.
Is your FRIEND the one you’re FUCKING?

Pause.

GILL
Yes.

DONNA
GODDAMMIT!

She CHARGES him,
raises the gun to hit him.

Gill GRABS her wrist. They struggle.
He WRENCHES her arm down, down --

The gun FIRES.
Shoots Gill in the foot.
BANG. He SCREAMS.

GILL
You fucking BITCH.
You SHOT ME.

He PUNCHES her in the head. HARD.
She FLIES backwards.

The gun skitters to the floor.
Gill picks it up.

GILL
You fucking SHOT me.

Donna opens a drawer.
Pulls out a BUTCHER KNIFE.

DONNA
Now I’m going to
cut off your fucking HEAD.

GILL
(aiming the gun at her)
Stay back, Donna.
I don’t want to shoot you.

DONNA
You’re spineless. Weak.
You don’t have the fucking
GUTS to shoot me.

She raises the knife.
A manic gleam in her eye.

Gill SHOOTS her in the stomach.
BANG. BANG. BANG.

She hits the linoleum, THUD.
A pool of blood starts forming.

GILL
Holy shit.
(gasps)
Till death do us part --

Somewhere in the distance
a siren starts WAILING.

Gill panics.
He pulls her wallet out of her purse,
SHOVES it in his pocket --
and RUNS out the door.

Friday, June 8, 2012

Party Out Of Bounds



Hey there, crime kids. Happy Friday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 19 of BLUE HOTEL, after 'attorney to the stars' Lief Scott and drug dealer Beggar Leck make their escape from the party after the coke whore's 'death by cocaine,' Venice Beach officers Danette Day and Kenny Speed arrive at the scene of the crime ...


EXT. VENICE BEACH POLICE SUBSTATION - NIGHT
Gill walks up to the door. Hesitates. Turns around.

GILL
What was I thinking?

He walks over to a bench. Sits down.
Pulls out his cell phone.
Punches a number. Listens.

INTERCUT WITH:

INT. HOLLY’S SHITTY HOTEL ROOM - CONTINUOUS
Alona stares at Holly. Then at Feo.

ALONA
What the fuck are we gonna do NOW?

Her phone RINGS.
She pulls it out of her pocket.
Answers it.

ALONA (CONT’D)
Hello?

GILL
Alona, it’s me, Gill.

ALONA
Where are you? What’s taking so long?

GILL
I got mugged, AND carjacked.
They got my wallet AND my car.

ALONA
SHIT. Are you okay?

GILL
I’m fine. Sort of.
(beat)
Finally stopped shaking --

ALONA
So are you coming back to the hotel?

GILL
Not yet. I have an idea.
(looks around)
I’m gonna sneak into my house --

ALONA
And ROB it? What, are you fucking CRAZY?

GILL
It’s still MY house, Alona.
(beat)
Haven’t you heard of 'community property?'

EXT. LIEF’S CONDO - NIGHT
A police cruiser is parked on Speedway
in front of Lief’s building.

Danette and Kenny jump out of the car.
Draw their guns. Make their way
toward the side entrance.

KENNY
I thought it was a loud party.
I don’t hear anything.

DANETTE
Dead bodies kinda clears out the crowd.

They get to the front door.
See it’s ajar.

DANETTE (CONT’D)
Follow me slowly, keep me covered and --

KENNY
Be quiet. I know, I know.

DANETTE
And do me a favor.
Don’t shit your pants again, okay?

EXT. BEACHFRONT CONDO - OCEAN SIDE - AT THAT MOMENT
Lief stands in the shrubbery.
Watches Beggar hit the ground.

LIEF
Over here.

BEGGAR
(sees him, comes over)
My car is parked on Speedway.

LIEF
So we’ll walk.

BEGGAR
You don’t get it.
There’s a fucking KILO OF BLOW in my trunk.

LIEF
Oh, shit. That’s right.
(beat)
So what are you gonna do?

BEGGAR
I’m gonna very quietly go to my car
and get the fuck out of here.
The sirens stopped,
so the cops must be inside.
I gotta do it now before they find -- her.
(beat)
You with me?

LIEF
Are you fucking kidding me?
I’ll walk down to the pier and wait for you.

BEGGAR
Spoken like a true attorney.

IN THE HOUSE
Danette and Kenny slowly move
through the living room, guns drawn.
Kenny looks at the lux digs in awe.

KENNY
Nice crib.

DANETTE
Shhhh.
(looks around)
C’mon. Upstairs.

IN FRONT OF THE HOUSE
Beggar tip-toes up to his BMW convertible.

Looks around. Opens the door.
Carefully gets in. Quietly closes it.

ON THE ROOF
Danette and Kenny see Emaciated Starlet’s
dead body on the blood-soaked bed.
Empty bottles and glasses everywhere.

KENNY
Holy SHIT.

DANETTE
‘Party Out of Bounds.’

KENNY
Huh?

DANETTE
Skip it.
(pulls out her cell)
Dispatch, this is unit one-adam-thirteen --
we’ve gotta code twelve, up on the roof.
Send lab techs and the coroner, do you copy?
(listens)
Roger that.

A car engine STARTS UP down below.
They RACE over to the edge of the roof. Look down.

BEGGAR’S CAR
Starts to drive away.

ON THE ROOF
Danette shakes her head.
Speaks into her cell.

DANETTE (CONT’D)
I need you to put out an APB on a red,
late-model BMW convertible,
heading north on Speedway.
(listens)
Sorry. Didn’t get the license.
(listens)
Roger that.
(hangs up, to Kenny)
C’mon, let’s go check out Paris Hilton.

They walk over to the bed.
Look at the body.

KENNY
She looks kinda peaceful.
(beat)
I mean, you know -- despite all the blood.

DANETTE
(shakes her head)
Another young girl who’s potential
was snuffed out too early.

KENNY
Yeah.
(wistful)
Must have been SOME party --

Thursday, June 7, 2012

The Natives Are Restless



Happy Thursday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 19 of BLUE HOTEL, boozy screenwriter Holly Land brings Feo, the dead agent's assistant back to her room at gunpoint, only to have hipster hooker Alona Tal join them. Meanwhile, Venice Beach cop Danette Day gets the call about the drug overdose at the party Alona's boyfriend Begger Leck just escaped from ...


INT. HOLLY’S SHITTY HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT
Feo stumbles into the room, scared to death.
Holly follows him in.

Pointing the gun at him through her purse.
She closes the door. Pulls it out.
Waves it at him.

HOLLY
Sit, on the bed.

FEO
(sits)
Look, I’m sorry you -- got in trouble.
If you let me go, I promise I won’t
tell the cops anything.

HOLLY
Yeah, right.

FEO
I promise.
(beat)
Please don’t shoot me --

HOLLY
Shut up. I have to think.

FEO
I have an idea --

HOLLY
I said SHUT THE FUCK UP.

Feo gulps. Stares at her balefully.
Holly goes to the kitchenette,
keeping the gun on him.

Pours a glass of vodka.
Takes a big glug. Wipes her mouth.
Looks at him.

HOLLY (CONT’D)
Stupid jerk and your stupid script.
(beat)
Why couldn’t you just mind your own business?
(off his silence)
Hello? I asked you a QUESTION.

FEO
(low)
You told me to shut up.

HOLLY
Not NOW.

FEO
I have to get this script to him,
it’s a matter of life and death --
Scarlet Stone is reading it tonight, and --
(beat)
Wait a minute.
Why don’t I give you the script,
you can give it to him,
and I’ll just -- go away.
I won’t say ANYTHING to the cops, I promise.
Please, this is gonna cost me my job --

HOLLY
(takes another sip)
That’s -- not possible.

FEO
Not possible? What do you mean?

HOLLY
(softly)
Oscar’s dead.

FEO
What? You robbed the liquor store
AND killed my boss?

Holly drains the glass. Pours another.
Takes a sip. Weaves a little.

Walks over to him.
Shaking the gun back and forth.

HOLLY
I didn’t ROB the fucking liquor store,
I just had the bad luck to BE there
when those chollo GREASEBALLS did.

FEO
But I saw you, on the tape, with the gun.

HOLLY
Shut the fuck up and LISTEN TO ME.
It was self-defense.
The Rasta shot the first gang-banger,
and his gun flew away and
landed on the floor next to me --
and then I shot the second one as he came in.
(hiccups)
It was self-defense.

Pause.

FEO
And -- what happened to Oscar?

HOLLY
(eyes tear up)
I thought he was attacking Alona --
I was just trying to save her -- and I --
(beat)
Stabbed him in the back with a pair of scissors.

She breaks down. Starts crying.

FEO
Hey, it’s okay --

He gets up. Starts to come to her.

HOLLY
DON’T MOVE.
(aims the gun at him)
Stay right the fuck WHERE YOU ARE.

A soft KNOCK-KNOCK-KNOCK at the door.

ALONA (O.C.)
Holly? It’s me, Alona.
Who’s in there with you?
Are you okay?

Holly smiles strangely.
Goes to the door. Opens it.

HOLLY
Come on in and join the party.

Alona walks in, sees Feo. Stops.

ALONA
Who’s he?

HOLLY
Oscar’s assistant.

FEO
(to Holly)
Who’s she?

HOLLY
Oscar’s date.

ALONA
Holy shit.

HOLLY
Tell me about it.

EXT. VENICE BEACH POLICE SUBSTATION - NIGHT
A circular brick building off the boardwalk.
A kid’s play park on one side.
Basketball courts on the other.

INT. VENICE BEACH POLICE SUBSTATION - CONTINUOUS
A tiny, small, cluttered room
filled with the usual suspects.
A couple desks, filing cabinets, lockers.

A gorgeous, black female UNIFORMED COP (40’s)
shuffles through a book of mug shots.

Meet DANETTE DAY, cougar in blue. Tough.
World-weary. Has seen it all. Several times.

A YOUNG ROOKIE COP (20’s)
appears with two mugs of coffee.

Meet KENNY SPEED.
Tall and gangly. Moon-faced.
Fresh out of the academy. Strong. Eager.
And not terribly bright.

KENNY
(hands her one)
Here’s your coffee, Danette.

DANETTE
Thanks, Kenny.

KENNY
Sure is a hot one tonight, huh?

DANETTE
Tell me about it.
The natives are restless.
When the Santa Annas are blowing,
things get crazy.
First that liquor store holdup.
Something else is gonna happen.
I can feel it in my bones.

KENNY
I say bring it on.
I want some ACTION.

The phone RINGS.
Danette answers it.
Listens. Eyes FLASH.

DANETTE
Ten-seventy-eight.
Drug overdose at a wild rooftop party.
Fifty two-eighteen Speedway.
We’re on our way. Code three.

She BANGS down the phone. Gets up.

DANETTE (CONT’D)
You got your wish.
Ready to rock and roll?

KENNY
Fuck, yeah. A DRUG OVERDOSE.
(beat)
Code three.
That means -- lights and siren?

PUSH IN ON Danette’s face.
Nodding with amusement.

DANETTE
And if you’re really good,
we’ll get ice cream afterwards --

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Got Coke?



Hey there, crime kids. Happy Hump Day. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 18 of BLUE HOTEL, drug dealer Beggar Leck goes to his entertainment attorney friend's beachside rooftop condo party to sell some blow in order to pay for the 'dead body removal' at his his hooker girlfriend Alona Tal's dive hotel room. Problem is, the party is a little out of control, as are the party girls ...


EXT. BEACHFRONT CONDO - ROOF DECK - NIGHT
Beggar sits on the bed with Lief, sipping cocktails.

Emaciated Starlet sits at the other end,
rolling a joint with a GIRLFRIEND (20’s),
a haughty Rodeo Drive type.

LIEF
I’ll buy the whole fucking thing
if it’s as good as you say it is.
(chortles)
Have a few clients that
love to ride the slopes.

BEGGAR
Anyone famous?

LIEF
Sorry, attorney-client privilege.
(beat)
What the fuck. Jackie Tempel?
MAJOR coke whore.
How do you think she
got that new sitcom?

BEGGAR
No way.

LIEF
Way.
(beat)
So come on,
let’s sample the merchandise.

BEGGAR
Thought you’d never ask.

He pulls a glassine bag
out of his jacket pocket.

LIEF
That’s -- kinda small.

BEGGAR
It’s locked up in the car.
Think I’m gonna walk around
with a kilo in my pocket?

LIEF
Of course, of course --

BEGGAR
I need a mirror,
something to chop it up on.
(holds up the bag)
Rock candy, kiddo.

LIEF
(to Emaciated)
Hey, Cherie --
gimmee your mirror.

Cherie turns around, looks.
Passes the joint to her friend.

CHERIE
What for? Need to powder your nose?

LIEF
Yeah, my makeup is shiny.

CHERIE
Oh, shit. ME, TOO --

She comes to their side of the bed,
pulls a compact out of her bag.

Hands it to Lief, grinning.
Haughty slides over.

HAUGHTY RODEO DRIVE TYPE
Me three.
(giggles)
Got coke?

Beggar dumps out a large rock on the mirror.
Starts chopping it up with a credit card.

Expertly fashions four big, fat lines.
Pulls a rolled up bill out of his pocket.

BEGGAR
Counselor, we await your verdict.

LIEF
Sustained.
He leans over, HONKS up a line.
Shakes his head.

LIEF
Court is IN SESSION.

Hands the bill back to Beggar.
He does one, SNORT.

BEGGAR
Got it from some Ukrainians I know.
Only been stepped on once.
(hands it to Cherie)
Here you go, doll.
Take a rocket to Russia --

Cherie greedily GRABS the tube.
Bends over. SNARFS up a line.

Then the other, SNORT.
She THROWS her head back and LAUGHS.

HAUGHTY RODEO DRIVE TYPE
Hey, what about ME?

CHERIE
Oh, I’m sorry -- did you want some?

Suddenly her face turns GREEN.
Her eyes roll back into her head.

Blood POURS out her nose.
She SPRAYS a green viscous FLUID
all over the bed.

CHERIE
GAAAAAAA -- !

Beggar, Lief and Haughty JUMP back.

LIEF
SHIT.

BEGGAR
What the FUCK?

Cherie goes into a SEIZURE.
Her body JERKS on the bed
like a rag doll in herky-jerky SPASMS.

HAUGHTY RODEO DRIVE TYPE
(looks down)
I got her spew on my DOLCE!

MALE VOICE (O.C.)
Holy shit, she’s OD-ing!
I’m gonna call 911!

FEMALE VOICE (O.C.)
I’m getting the fuck OUTTA HERE.

Cherie’s body JERKS one last time.
Then lays there. Dead.
Blood starts flowing out of her mouth.

LIEF
Holy Jesus fucking Christ.
I’ve been cluster-fucked.

HAUGHTY RODEO DRIVE TYPE
Ohmigod, she’s DEAD. She’s DEAD!

BEGGAR
Alright everybody, stay calm.
We’ve gotta figure out what to do.

HAUGHTY RODEO DRIVE TYPE
What to do? WHAT TO DO?
I’m gonna get THE FUCK OUT OF HERE.

A siren WAILS somewhere off in the distance.
Beggar puts the baggie in his pocket.
Gets off the bed.

LIEF
Wait a minute, where are you going?

BEGGAR
The fuck outta here.
I’ve got outstanding warrants,
AND a controlled substance.

LIEF
But, but --

BEGGAR
Stay here if you want to,
but I’m SPLITTING.

Lief JUMPS off the bed.
They look around. Everyone’s gone.

LIEF
Okay, let’s book.
We’ll say we were out
buying more booze or something.

BEGGAR
WE?

Lief starts for the corner of the roof.

LIEF
Yeah, you’re my alibi.
(pulls out a gun)
Come on, there’s a ladder over here.

BEGGAR
(follows after him)
This is like Miami Vice.

Lief gets to ladder.
Looks back at Beggar.

LIEF
Then hurry up and
move your ass, Sonny Crocket --

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Stimulous Package



Happy Tuesday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapteer 17 of BLUE HOTEL, school teacher Gill Sherry goes to the ATM machine to get money to help pay for the removal of the dead body in hipster hooker Alona Tal's hotel room, and runs into a vicious mugger. Meanwhile, goth gangsters Vlad and Anya, the 'dead body removers' make a stop on the way to Alona's at a private dungeon for a little 'R&R' ...


EXT. VENICE BEACH - NIGHT
A circular street two blocks from the boardwalk.
A cream-colored Saab pulls in front of the bank
across the street from the Venice post office.

INT. SAAB - CONTINUOUS
Gill is behind the wheel.
He shuts off the engine. Gets out.

AT THE CASH MACHINE
Gill slips his card in.
Punches his pin code.

The machine CHING-CHING-CHINGS,
and his cash slides out. He grabs it.
Then feels something in his back.

GRAVELLY MALE VOICE (O.C.)
Hand over the cash, asshole --
or I’ll fucking shoot.

GILL
Okay, okay -- please don’t hurt me.

He holds up the money.
A FIGURE IN BLACK (20’s),
hoodie pulled down,
SNATCHES it from his hand.

FIGURE IN BLACK
Now gimmee your keys.
Nice ride you got there --

GILL
Please, not my car. I need that to --

Figure In Black CRACKS
him in the head with his gun.

Gill goes down, THUMP.
Figure KICKS him in the stomach.

GILL (CONT’D)
OW!

FIGURE IN BLACK
Your KEYS, NOW --

Gill winces in pain.
Digs his keys out of his pocket.

Holds them up.
Figure SNATCHES THEM.
RUNS to the car.

FEMALE VOICE (O.C.)
Ohmigod, that guy just got MUGGED!

MALE VOICE (O.C.)
And they’re stealing his CAR!

Figure JUMPS IN. Starts the engine.
ROARS away in a SCREECH of rubber
like a madman from hell.

A YOUNG COUPLE (17) RACE OVER to Gill.
Trendy skateboard kids with multi-colored hair,
piercings in baggies and sneakers.

SKATEBOARD CHICK
Hey, mister -- are you okay?

HIPSTER GUY
(pulls out his cell phone)
Don’t worry, I’m calling the cops.

Skateboard Chick helps Gill stand up.
He holds his stomach.
Hipster punches 911. Listens.

GILL
My car -- he got my CAR --

HIPSTER GUY
Yeah, hi -- so listen, a dude was mugged,
and they, like, stole his car --
(listens)
On the Windward circle.
In front of the bank --
(listens, looks at Gill)
He looks okay to me --
(to Gill)
You okay?

PUSH IN ON Gill’s face.
More than upset.

GILL
Oh, I’m just peachy.
Top of the world, ma.

INT. CLUB FETISH - NIGHT - AT THAT MOMENT
Nasty, filthy club music over --

A catacomb of perverted horrors run amok.
A labyrinthine maze of cubicles,
each containing unspeakable acts of depravity.

IN ONE STALL
A MAN (50’s) lies in a bathtub, naked.

A group of CLUB PATRONS
stand in a circle and pee on him.

IN ANOTHER STALL
A WOMAN (20’s) lies on a table.
Bound and gagged.

A GIANT DOM raise a cat ‘o nine tails,
CRACKS IT against her pale flesh.

IN THE DJ BOOTH
The DJ (30’s), hair scooped into red devil horns,
nods to the music, SNORTS a fat line of meth.

IN ANOTHER STALL
A MAN IN A DIAPER, on his hands and knees,
licks the boots of a GORGEOUS DOMINATRIX (40’s).
She JERKS his leash. Laughing.

VLAD AND ANYA
Stroll through the Dionysian splendor like gods.
Regal. Inspecting the display of twisted desires.

ANYA
It is, how they say in New York, ‘bridge and tunnel.’

VLAD
Well, we ARE behind Orange Curtain.

They chuckle. Stop.
Watch the GIANT DOM at work.

ANYA
(shaking her head)
No finesse. No -- style.
Is like Gitmo. No imagination.

VLAD
That may be -- but Little Miss Muffet
will get welt on her tuffet,
and she will go home to safe suburban hell
with naughty memory --

They continue walking.

ANYA
I see your point.
Is like MacDonald’s of dungeons.

Vlad stops. Puts one hand on Anya’s breast.
The other on her throat.

Pushes her up against the wall.
Smiles, evil.

Anya swoons with pleasure.
Licks her lips. Eyes flashing.

VLAD
Enough of field trip.
You ready to rock n’ rolla, my dark goddess?

ANYA
Take me to cash machine, bab-ya.

She pulls out her gun.
Rubs it on his crotch.

He pulls out his.
Sticks it in her mouth.

VLAD
Is what I love about you.
(beat)
What I call -- 'stimulus package.'