Friday, December 28, 2012

Seventh Inning Stretch


Hey there, crime kids. Happy Friday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 3 of NOWHERE GIRL, Homeland Security agent April Street questions stripper Cherry Nation about the thug that handcuffed the briefcase to her wrist, but then gets interrupted by a pair of commandos with Uzis ...


INT. AIRPORT BAR - DUSK
The door FLIES OPEN.
April RACES into the room.

WHIRLS AROUND. Stops.
Holds up her badge.

APRIL
Homeland Security, everybody FREEZE!

People stop talking. Look.
April pulls out a photograph.
Starts showing it around.

APRIL (CONT’D)
Has anyone here seen THIS MAN?
It’s a matter of national security.

April shows it to the bartender.
He shakes his head ‘no.’
She goes to Cherry and Peeler’s table.

CHERRY
Ohmigod.

APRIL
You SAW him?
He was HERE?

Cherry slowly puts
the briefcase on the table.

April stares at it,
at the handcuffs.

Then looks at Cherry more closely.
Their resemblance.

APRIL (CONT’D)
I’m afraid you’re going to
have to come with me, Miss.

CHERRY
But he said he’d hurt my family
if I didn’t --

The wall of windows EXPLODES
in a HAIL OF BULLETS.

Cherry and Peeler JUMP,
hide under a table.

April HITS the floor, ROLLS away.
Slides behind the bar.

Pulls out twin giant
SIG SAUER HANDGUNS
and starts FIRING.

Cherry and Peeler start
crawling toward the entrance.

Two HUGE GOONS in black BOUND IN.
A red DOT appears on the forehead
of the first one.

His head EXPLODES
in a red mist.

APRIL
Smiles. Takes aim at --

THE OTHER GOON
Who FIRES at April.
She DUCKS behind the bar.

CHERRY AND PEELER
Make it to the doorway.
Crawl away.

THE GOON
RACES toward the bar.
SPRAYING his Uzi.
Bottles FLY, SMASH.

BEHIND THE BAR
April crawls to the end.
GRABS a baseball bat.

THE GOON
Stealthily creeps up toward
the end of the bar, where --

APRIL
CRACKS him on the head.
The goon goes down, THWUMP.

APRIL
Sorry, fella --
seventh inning stretch.

She looks around.
Sees that Cherry is gone.

APRIL (CONT’D)
Shit.

And RACES toward the door.

INT. AIRPORT CORRIDOR - AT THAT MOMENT
A drum-and-bass big-beat by
The Crystal Method PUMPS over --

Cherry and Peeler.
TEARING ASS down the moving walkway.
The briefcase BANGING against the railing.

PEELER
Where are we going?!

CHERRY
The fuck OUTTA here!

CAMERA FLIES BACKWARD,
WHIPS AROUND --

So that we see April at the other end.
She SEES THEM.

APRIL
Motherfucker.

And she starts TEARING ASS after them.

CHERRY AND PEELER
Reach the end of the moving sidewalk.
A sign reads BAGGAGE CLAIM.

Cherry GRABS Peeler’s hand.
JERKS HIM toward it.

CHERRY
C’mon!

They CLATTER down the stairs.

APRIL
Reaches the end of the sidewalk.
Looks around.

APRIL
Shit. Think, think, think --

She sees the sign.
RUNS to the top of the stairs,
sees Cherry and Peeler going down,
and TAKES OFF after them.

CHERRY AND PEELER
Hit the bottom.
Cherry BANGS into a porter. OOF.

PORTER
HEY!

CHERRY
Sorry!

She GRABS Peeler’s hand,
and they RACE AWAY.

PORTER
SLOW DOWN, bitch!

APRIL
BANGS into the porter.

PORTER (CONT'D)
OW, hey!

He GRAPPLES her in a bear hug.

APRIL
Let me GO.

The porter SQUEEZES TIGHTER.

PORTER
You gotta SLOW DOWN, lady!

APRIL
I’m a GOVERNMENT AGENT.

PORTER
Bull-shit.

She FLINGS his arms away.
CRACKS him in the jaw. THWUMP.

Notices a crowd of ONLOOKERS.
Shows her ID.

APRIL
Homeland Security.
Keeping America safe.

And TAKES OFF.

A PAIR OF LITTLE BOY TWINS
Stand nearby holding hands
with their mother.

TWIN #1
I wanna be like HER when I grow up.

TWIN #2
But she’s a GIRL --

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