Thursday, May 3, 2012

Break Your Cherry


Happy Thursday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 34 of GUN-WILD, we start to hurtle toward the exciting conclusion of our story ... when trigger-happy runaway heiress Cam Clinch and her wayward boyfriend Rod Funk storm into the First Interstate Bank with shotguns and begin 'the mother of all bank robberies.'


INT. FIRST INTERSTATE BANK - MAIN LOBBY - DUSK
A small joint.
Four teller windows.
Two are empty.

FAT BANK MANAGER
sits at a desk
in the corner.

A single GUARD, a
tall, thin older guy.

A handful of CUSTOMERS
wait in line.

Cam and Rod BURST
in the door.
Shotguns aloft.

ROD
This is A ROBBERY!

CAM
Everybody on the floor, NOW!

The CUSTOMERS get down.
Crying. Whimpering.

Cam RACES over
to the teller windows.

SHOOTS the glass. BANG.
It SHATTERS.

The TELLERS scream.

CAM
Put your hands
in the air where
I CAN SEE ‘EM.

They do. Trembling.

HOT BABE TELLER
Don’t SHOOT, don’t SHOOT.

MATRONLY WOMAN TELLER
P-Please don’t h-hurt us.

CAM
Do what I say,
and no one
will get hurt.

ROD
Points his gun
at the guard.
Who’s wet his pants.

ROD
Gimmee your piece, Pops.
(takes it)
Looks like someone
didn’t wear their
Depends today.
(beat)
Get on the floor
with the others,
and try not to
get piss on ‘em.

The guard, shaking,
walks over.
Lays down.

CAM
THROWS a duffle bag
at Hot Babe.

CAM
Start filling it up.
No MARKED BILLS.
And no fucking DIE PACK,
we know all about that SHIT.

ROD
Points his gun
at Fat Bank Manager.

ROD
You, Tons of Fun,
go join your customers.
If you behave,
we’ll serve a snack, later.

He nods, trembling.
Goes to where they are.
Lays down.

OUTSIDE
Two BICYCLE COPS
wait for the light
across the street.

SMALL BICYCLE COP
That was a gun shot.

GAY BICYCLE COP
You sure?

SMALL BICYCLE COP
I know a fucking gun shot
when I hear one.
(points)
Over there,
at the bank.

GAY BICYCLE COP
Oooh. My first bank robbery.

SMALL BICYCLE COP
Glad I could
break your cherry.
Let’s go --

2 comments:

  1. Wow! Deja vu! Almost... this time there isn't some buff Adonis for a bank guard.

    Very descriptive scene... I can picture the whole thing in my head... ewww... did I just smell pee?

    So... no height requirement for the West Hollywood PD?

    I met a gay cop one time... actually, I should say I got busted - for speeding - by a gay cop. I tried to distract him with my boobs... unbuttoning the blouse, you know... he didn't even look at my girls! 300 dollar ticket!

    800 cops on the force and I get pulled over by probably the only gay cop! I'd have had a chance with a woman cop... straight or gay...

    Okay... back to the bank robbery...

    Oh my... this is gonna be interesting!

    xoxoxoxoxo <3 <3 <3

    Roni

    ReplyDelete
  2. Too funny. At first I was worried that it wouldn't be believable, but I used to work in West Hollywood, and they really DO have gay cops wearing bike shorts ... !

    xoxo

    ReplyDelete