Wednesday, May 30, 2012
Why Do You Think They Call It A Stiff?
Hey there, crime kids. Happy Wednesday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.
In Chapter 13 of BLUE HOTEL, dead agent Oscar Goldman's assistant Feo recognizes boozy screenwriter Holly Land on tape at the liquore store robbery. Meanwhile, Hooker Alona Tal and her boyfriend, drug dealer Beggar Leck hear a knock on her hotel room door, and then try and hide Oscar's body ...
EXT. STARLIGHT HOTEL - PARK BENCH - NIGHT
Feo sits on the bench.
Watching the commotion at the crime scene.
Starts flipping through websites on his BlackBerry.
Maybe I can find something about it --
ON THE PHONE
We see the robbery at Davey Jones’ Liquor Locker
unfolding in grainy black and white.
And there’s our plucky little killer, Holly --
blowing gang-banger’s brains out.
Stares at the screen.
I just SAW her somewhere.
Gill walks up to the bench carrying a suitcase.
Gestures toward the news vans, the cops, the onlookers.
What’s going on over there?
Liquor store holdup.
Why all the media?
Three people were killed.
Two robbers and the clerk.
(looks at the screen)
What I can’t figure is how the girl was involved.
These guys were serious gang-bangers,
and she looks like Tori Amos.
INT. ALONA’S SHITTY HOTEL ROOM - AT THAT MOMENT
Beggar shuts off his phone.
Looks at Alona and Holly,
sitting on the bed together.
Sipping vodka in their plastic cups.
It’s all set.
Vlad’ll be here at five AM.
Problem is, he wants five grand to take care of it.
We don’t have that kind of scratch.
How much do you have?
I’ve got a couple hundred saved,
but that’s for an emergency.
What the fuck do you think THIS is?
Don’t get your speedo in a bind.
She gets up goes to the desk.
Opens up a drawer.
Takes out a book. Opens it.
We see it’s hollowed-out.
She pulls out a wad of cash.
Starts counting it.
What about you?
How much do you have?
I don’t know -- about fifty bucks?
I don’t get paid at the book store
until day after tomorrow --
Well, you better figure out how to get more,
because YOU got us into this mess.
Alona finishes counting.
SLAPS the money in Beggar’s hand.
Three hundred and twenty-six bucks, bucko.
Don’t spend it all in one place.
Okay, so with Gidget’s fifty bucks,
we’re close to four hundred --
He takes out his wallet.
Counts his money.
I’ve got hundred and ten --
Wait a minute.
I’m freaking out, I’m not thinking.
I just got a bag of blow to sell.
I’ll make some calls --
Yeah. There’s that yuppie lawyer asshole
in Santa Monica --
(looks at Holly)
And if Gidget here can dig up some more,
we might be okay.
How am I supposed to get more money?
Lay off her, Beggar. She’s just a kid.
I can turn a couple of tricks --
A soft KNOCK-KNOCK-KNOCK at the door.
They all look at each other, scared.
Alona? Are you in there?
It’s me, Gill. Donna kicked me out --
What the fuck?
(goes to the door)
Right now’s not a good time, Gill.
I’m kinda busy.
Gill? The teacher? The trick?
(off her nod)
Tell him to meet you in the bar,
we’ll get outta here, and you can do him.
I have company, Gill. Beggar’s here.
Meet me downstairs in the bar in a couple minutes, okay?
Okay, okay -- thank you, my love.
I’ll see you down in the bar.
(looks at Holly)
Okay, we’re outta here.
What about --
(points at the body)
Under the bed.
C’mon, help me.
Over my dead --
Beggar and Alona each take an end of Oscar’s body.
Start to slide it toward the bed.
He’s so -- stiff.
Why do you think they call it a fucking STIFF?
They start to push him under the bed,
but his stomach’s too big.
Doesn’t quite fit.
Beggar and Alona put their hands
on his side, and PUSH.
It doesn’t move.
They PUSH again. Nothing.
Let me try.
You fucking kidding me?
Be my guest.
Holly takes a few steps back,
races toward the body,
and KICKS it with animal strength.
It POPS under the bed, THWUNK.
How did you --
Used to play soccer.
Alona pulls the bedspread down, hiding it.
Okay, you guys split.
Time for me to get in character.
Oh, yeah? What character?
PUSH IN ON Alona.
Resigned to her fate.
Used to be Lady Madonna --
Now it’s Lady Macbeth.