Luck Of The Irish

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Monday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 31 of GUN-WILD, we meet Gato Weed, the hitman that Geffin Clinch has hired to take out his bank-robbing daughter Cam, who is right now in hot pursuit. Meanwhile, robbery-homicide detectives Bobby Teen and Taya Ralls are also closing in on her and Rod, as they try to make their way to West Hollywood for one last bank heist ...


INT. CADILLAC SUV - day
A large, hulking MAN sits behind the wheel.
Meet GATO WEED (40), sleazy PI-for-hire.

Right now he’s listening to his police scanner.
He lights up a smoke. Grabs his I-phone.
He wipes the keypad with his fingers.

ON THE SCREEN
We see a GPS display.
Kind of like MapQuest.

A small, blinking red light
slowly moves across the screen.

GATO
Fucking app -- amazing shit.

The scanner SQUAWKS to life.

FEMALE VOICE (O.C.)
(electronic)
All units, bank robbery suspects
are travelling in a 1979 Volkswagon van,
light blue with white trim.
License number is R as in Robert, 560-5861.
They’re armed and dangerous.
Approach with caution.

Gato picks up his cell.
PUNCHES a number. Listens.

GATO
It’s me. Got some news.
They’re travelling east on Wilshire Boulevard,
just passed the 405. I’m on my way.
(listens)
Hold onto your dick. I got ‘em.

He clicks the phone shut.
Starts the engine. HITS the gas.

GATO
Fucking freak.
(beat)
Must be nice to have more money than God.

INT. UNMARKED POLICE CAR - MOVING - AT THAT MOMENT
Taya drives. Bobby leans over
a high-tech listening device.

BOBBY
GOT IT.

TAYA
Sneaky bastard.
I still can’t believe you put
a listening device in his office.

BOBBY
Hey -- sometimes you gotta
bend the rules a little.
They’re fucking cop killers,
and we’re gonna NAIL their asses.
(beat)
Turn north on Bundy,
then go east on Wilshire.

TAYA
We’re CLOSE.

BOBBY
Luck of the Irish, doll.

TAYA
But you’re not Irish.

BOBBY
You haven’t seen me drink whiskey --

INT. CADILLAC SUV - MOVING - AT THAT MOMENT
Gato’s stuck in a traffic bottleneck
just east of the 405.
He POUNDS on the steering wheel.

GATO
MOVE, asshole, MOVE.

He pulls out a flask.
Takes a sip. Wipes his mouth.

GATO
GODDAMMIT.

EXT. WILSHIRE BOULEVARD - CONTINUOUS
Gato’s SUV swerves off into the bus lane,
starts passing cars. A CITY BUS behind him HONKS.

INT. VW VAN - MOVING - AT THAT MOMENT
Some weird oldie plays on the crappy car stereo.
Rod drives, cigarette dangling on his lip.

Cam puts her hand on her neck.
Looks like she’s in pain.
Rod looks at her, concerned.

ROD
What’s wrong, love doll?

CAM
It’s -- hot.

ROD
What? You have a headache?

Cam looks at him.
Tears in her eyes.

CAM
No -- my father, he --

ROD
What?

CAM
He, he --

Another swig.
She rubs her neck.
Tears stream down her cheek.

ROD
It’s okay. You can tell me.

CAM
He put a, a -- microchip in me.
(whispers)
So he could fucking track where I was.

ROD
What THE FUCK?
He MICROCHIPPED you?
Like a fucking DOG?

CAM
Yeah.
(rubs her neck)
And when it’s on, it gets hot.

ROD
When it’s ON?
You mean -- he’s tracking us RIGHT NOW?

CAM
(smiles sadly)
Dear old dad must be back home.
(beat)
You got another joint?

ROD
(pulls one out)
Here. Shit.
We gotta figure out what to do.

Cam lights it. Takes a big hit.
Holds it in. Passes it to Rod.
EXHALES a cloud of smoke. Eyes burning.

CAM
We could -- cut it out.

ROD
Are you fucking KIDDING ME?

CAM
Well, if we don’t,
Daddy’s goons are gonna get us.

ROD
His GOONS?

CAM
Daddy doesn’t believe in cops.
He’s got his own.

A SIREN WAILS behind them.

ROD
(looks in the rearview)
Shit, COPS. Real ones.

CAM
(turns around)
FUCK me.

BEHIND THEM
Bobby and Taya’s unmarked sedan is in pursuit.
Red dome light on the roof FLASHING.

IN THE SEDAN
Taya glances at Bobby.

TAYA
They’re not stopping.

BOBBY
Why am I not surprised.

Bobby grabs the mike,
raises it to his lips.
Flips a switch.

IN THE VAN
BOBBY (O.C.)
(electronic)
You in the van,
PULL THE VEHICLE OVER, NOW.

CAM
SHIT, what are we gonna DO.

ROD
I’ve got an idea. Hold on --wh

Breakfast Of Champions

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Friday. Are you ready for the weak-end? Then it's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 30 of GUN-WILD, robbery-homicide cops Bobby Teen and Taya Ralls visit media mogul Geffin Clinch, trigger-happy runaway Cam Clinch's father, who warns them not to alert the media about his wayward daughter's criminal activities. Meanwhile, at the sex motel, Cam, now disguised as a guy, and Rod get ready for the next bank job in West Hollywood ...


INT. CLINCH ESTATE - OFFICE - DAY
A large study converted into a home office.
Fireplace. Walls of books.

Large glass and steel desk with a computer.
Everything, the best that money can buy.

Behind the desk sits GEFFIN CLINCH (50’S),
short, bald and tan.

Bright eyes blink with ferocity.
Sharp as a tack.

And about as painful.
Right now he’s on the phone.

Bobby and Taya sit facing him,
trying not to listen.

GEFFIN
(into the phone)
Well, you tell Malone that we REJECT his offer.
He’s not raiding MY BOARD.
(listens)
Tell him to shove it up his ass -- with no lube.
(listens)
Gotta go. My nine-o’clock is here. Bye.

He BANGS down the phone.

GEFFIN
I’m so sorry. Where were we?

BOBBY
No problem. About your daughter --

GEFFIN
Yes -- my dear, darling daughter.
(closes his eyes)
So let me get this straight --
(opens them, glaring)
Cameron escaped from the psychiatric facility,
came here, BORROWED my TWO-HUNDRED THOUSAND DOLLAR
recreational vehicle -- and then she and her friends
ROBBED A BANK and KILLED three police officers.
Is that about the size of it?

BOBBY
(clears his throat)
Yes, sir.

TAYA
We realize this must be
difficult for you, Mr. Clinch.

GEFFIN
Difficult? Difficult? DIFFICULT?
(beat)
How about fucking IMPOSSIBLE.
My virtual shopping network
is going out with an IPO,
and if this news gets out, I’m FUCKED.

TAYA
We realize this is sensitive information.

BOBBY
We haven’t told the media any --

GEFFIN
THE MEDIA? I AM the fucking MEDIA.
If her identity is leaked to the press,
I’ll have your asses in a SLING.
You’ll be reading parking meters
in COMPTON when I get through with you.
(off Taya’s reaction)
Oh, was that POLITICALLY INCORRECT?
(BANGS the desk with his fist)
WHAT ELSE do you know?

BOBBY
We just learned that a VW van
was stolen right near where
the Winnebago was abandoned.
There’s a good chance that
she and her friend are
in this vehicle right now.

TAYA
(hopefully)
We put out an APB.
Every cop in the city
has the license number.

GEFFIN
Don’t you idiots realize
that’s the WORST thing you could do?

BOBBY
I’m sorry, sir --
but we’re sworn to uphold the law.

TAYA
Don’t you want to help your daughter?

GEFFIN
(to Bobby)
I realize that.
You’re just doing your JOB.
(to Taya)
OF COURSE I want to help her --
but she’s been nothing but trouble
since the day she was born.
I wish I could just --
(wrings his hands)
Her identity CANNOT
be revealed to the media.
Do you understand?

Bobby stands. So does Taya.

BOBBY
I understand.

GEFFIN
I realize that as officers of the law,
you’re not entitled to accept -- gifts.
(beat)
But please know that if
you help me with this, I can help YOU.
(beat)
Perhaps -- a transfer downtown?
Where things are little more -- exciting?

Bobby and Taya exchange looks.

GEFFIN
Think about it. And keep me posted.

BOBBY
Will do. Thanks for your time.

They leave.
Geffin PUNCHES a number on his phone.

GEFFIN
(listens)
Gato? It’s Clinch.
(listens)
I need you to do a job for me.
Double your usual rate.
(listens)
It needs to be done immediately.
It’s urgent.
(listens)
I’ll send a messenger with a package right now.
You’ll have it in ten minutes.
(listens)
You can do it any way you want to.
As long as it gets done.
(listens)
My god, man -- you’re evil.
Just check with the cops.
They have the license plate number.
(listens)
How I sleep at night
is none of your fucking business.
Just DO IT.

INT. THE STARLET MOTEL - SHITTY ROOM - AT THAT MOMENT
A tiny boombox plays The Cramps LET’S GET FUCKED UP.

Rod chops lines on the table.
Shaking it to the music.

Cam is now in male drag
in her baseball cap and shades.

Takes a swig of vodka.
GRABS her crotch like a guy.
Struts around.

CAM
(low, throaty)
It’s fun to stay at the Y-M-C-A --

ROD
(looks, laughs)
Be careful, don’t get that mustache wet.
Cheap ass piece of shit might fall apart.

He leans over. HONKS up a line.
Then another.

ROD
Honey -- breakfast’s ready.

Cam grins. Goes to the table.
Takes the straw. INHALES a line.
And another. Then a third. Rubs her nose.

CAM
Ahhh -- breakfast of champions.

Rod picks up his gun.
Puts it his waistband.
Zips up his jacket.

Goes to Cam.
Puts his arms around her.

ROD
You ready to roll, big fella?

CAM
Lock and load, gay boy.

ROD
Shut up. Don’t call me that.

She kisses him.

ROD
What was that for?

CAM
I dunno. Felt like it.
(rubs up against him)
I feel -- different. More POWERFUL.
Maybe when this is all over,
I’ll get a sex change.

ROD
Over my dead body.

CAM
(evil smile)
Careful what you wish for --

Too Sexy For My Gun

Happy Thursday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 29 of GUN-WILD, bank robbers on the run Cam Clinch and Rod Funk hole up in a sex motel and hatch a plan on how to get escape money. They decide to rob a small West Hollywood bank where 'the rich gays' keep their money, and in order to 'blend,' Cam disguises herself ... as a man ...


INT. THE STARLET MOTEL - MORNING
Nine AM. Sunlight streams through
the edge of the drawn curtain.
It hits Cam’s Glock on the night table.

IN THE BATHROOM
Cam looks in the mirror.
Holds up a pair of scissors.

CAM
You really think I can
pull off dressing like a boy?

ROD (O.C.)
(chuckles)
Maybe a gay boy.

CAM
I knew you had tendencies --

She starts CLIPPING off chunks of her long hair.
They flutter down into the sink.

Rod walks in.
His hair is now in a blonde buzz cut.
He takes a swig from a bottle of vodka.

ROD
HEY. I was passed out.

CAM
(still clipping)
Yeah, but your dick still got hard.

ROD
I was fucking SLEEPING, Cam --

She finishes cutting.
The hair that’s left is ragged, choppy.

CAM
Gimme some vodka.

He hands it to her.
She takes a swig.
Stares in the mirror.

ROD
God, you look different.

CAM
Kinda like it.
(growls)
I’m BUTCH.

He hands her an Ace bandage.
She hands him the bottle.

CAM (CONT'D)
What’s this for?

ROD
(takes a swig)
To bind down your tits.
And then another one
to wind around your waist.
We gotta do something about
that hourglass figure of yours.

Cam starts wrapping
the bandage around her chest.

CAM
(sings)
I’m too sexy for my gun,
too sexy for my gun --

ROD
We could go to West Hollywood.
Blend.

She finishes.
Starts wrapping the other one
around her waist.

CAM
That’s actually a great idea.

ROD
What?

CAM
We could go jack a West Hollywood bank.
There’s a First Nationwide
on Santa Monica Boulevard.
It’s small, but I bet
it’s nice and juicy.

Cam is done.
She looks at her waistline.
And the lack of one.

ROD
(hands her a t-shirt)
Here. Try this on.

CAM
(as she pulls it on)
Gays have more money,
they have no kids.
Bet it’s nice and juicy.

She looks in the mirror.
No figure.

Rod holds a moustache in his hand.
He applies spirit gum.
Hands it to her.

ROD
Village People,
here we come.

Cam carefully puts it on.
Stares in the mirror.

CAM
(low)
Hey, sailor.
Buy me a drink?

Rod takes a swig of the bottle.
Hands it to her.

Cam takes a long pull.
Wipes her mouth.

ROD
Let’s do it.

CAM
Take a walk on the wild side?

ROD
You know what they say --
(SMACKS her ass)
When in Rome --

CAM
HEY.

ROD
That’s right, I forgot.
You’re a top.

CAM
And don’t you forget it --

Hit And Run Holiday

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Hump Day. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 28 of GUN-WILD, bank robbery fugitives Cam Clinch and Rod Funk check into an adult motel to hide out and figure out their next move. Meanwhile, robbery-homicide detectives Bobby Teen and Taya Ralls interview Cam's father's chauffeur, who reveals the deep, dark secrets about Cam's sordid past ...


EXT. ADULT MOTEL - NIGHT
A shitty, run-down joint with bars on the windows
next to a vacant lot.

The sign reads THE STARLET. FREE HBO.
The VW van pulls into the parking lot. Stops.

IN THE VAN
Rod turns, looks at Cam.

ROD
Cam, baby.
We’ve been through a lot of shit today.
We’re both exhausted. Strung out.

CAM
Yeah.

ROD
I really care about you.
And I’m sorry about
what happened with -- you know.

CAM
DON’T say it.

ROD
It’s okay. I won’t.
(beat)
Let’s just chill out,
have a couple of drinks, watch a movie,
and get some sleep. How does that sound?

CAM
(a whisper)
That would -- be nice.

ROD
And I won’t try anything. Promise.
(beat)
Okay?

Cam looks at him.
Her lip quivers.
Tears glimmer in her eyes.

CAM
Okay.

She leans over.
Puts her arms around him.

CAM
I could -- almost love you.

EXT. CLINCH ESTATE - AERIAL SHOT - NIGHT
An enormous complex of buildings
behind high stone walls
on 'the exclusive side' of Bel Air.

EXT. CLINCH ESTATE - GARAGE - NIGHT
More like a hangar, really.
Dozens of top-shelf sport cars
and luxury sedans from around the world.
And enough classics to make Jay Leno hard.

RAOUL LUNA (50’s), chauffeur,
polishes a Rolls Royce hood.

Slim and elegant.
World-weary, with a bit of a lisp.

RAOUL
I thought those friends of hers
looked a little -- rough.

Bobby and Taya stand nearby,
listening. Taking notes.

BOBBY
Did she say where she was going?

RAOUL
Not specifically.
Just ‘up the coast’ somewhere.
I had no idea should would
get into any -- trouble.

TAYA
Has she ever been hospitalized for --
psychological reasons?

Pause.

RAOUL
May I speak off the record?

BOBBY
Certainly.

Bobby and Taya put their notebooks away.

RAOUL
I’m going to tell you this
because I love Cameron.
She and I became close over the years.
She confided in me.
I came to think of her
like a daughter.
(beat)
Cameron had a --
troubled relationship with her father.

TAYA
Did they argue alot?

RAOUL
That’s one word for it.
(beat)
You didn’t hear this from me.
I would lose my job. It could be --
(looks around)
Very dangerous.

BOBBY
Go on --

RAOUL
Cameron’s father had --
sexual relations with her.
She was so ashamed.
(beat)
When she confided in me about it,
I was horrified.
But what could I do?
He’s one of the most
powerful men in the world.

TAYA
Was she ever -- violent?

RAOUL
She had -- anger management issues.
Last year she had a -- nervous breakdown.

BOBBY
And she was hospitalized?

RAOUL
Unfortunately, yes. It broke my heart.
(smiles)
I was so happy to find out she was out.

BOBBY
She was released?

RAOUL
Not exactly --

TAYA
She ESCAPED?

RAOUL
Cameron is a free spirit.
She’s hard to control.
But she seemed fine when I saw her.
She was the old Cameron, happy.
And she was going on a
vacation trip with friends.

BOBBY
More like a hit and run holiday.

RAOUL
If there’s anything I can do to help,
please let me know.

BOBBY
You said her parents are out of town?

RAOUL
Yes. They’ve been in Switzerland.
But after I spoke with you on the phone,
I received a call from Mr. Clinch.

TAYA
The police called him.

RAOUL
(nods)
They’re on a plane right now.

BOBBY
What time do you expect them?

RAOUL
Tomorrow morning, bright and early.

BOBBY
Let me guess.
Then the shit’s gonna hit the fan.

RAOUL
Try World War Three --

Magic Fingers

Happy Tuesday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 27 of GUN-WILD, robbery-homicide detectives Bobby Teen and Taya Ralls discover that the cops have traced the bank robbers' luxury RV to trigger-happy heiress Cam Clinch's father, media mogul Geffin Clinch. Meanwhile, Cam and Rod return to their stolen van after knocking off the dive bar, only to discover that the loot from the bank job has been stolen ...


INT. UNMARKED POLICE CAR - NIGHT
Bobby and Taya sit in their car
parked in the alley behind the Winnebago.
Sipping coffee.

TAYA
So fucking unprofessional.

BOBBY
So you screamed. Big deal.
(looks at her)
Your first -- stiffs?

TAYA
Yeah. I mean, up close.
Back in my neighborhood, s
omeone was always -- getting shot.

She trails off.
Eyes full of tears.

BOBBY
Tell you what.
Why don’t we call it a night.
We can go grab a bite, see a flick.
Take your mind offa things.

TAYA
You mean -- like a date?

BOBBY
No, no -- not a date --
more like a, a --

His cell phone RINGS.

BOBBY
Hold that thought.

Taya looks at him. Amused.

BOBBY
This is Teen --
(listens)
It belongs to WHO?
(listens)
Of course I know who he is.
(listens)
Yeah. We’re on our way. Thanks.
(listens)
Holy shit is right. Bye.

He hangs up. Looks at Taya.

TAYA
So?

BOBBY
The luxury RV.
It belongs to GEFFIN CLINCH.

TAYA
The media mogul?

BOBBY
The one and only.

TAYA
I’ve seen his compound on TV.
It’s like a fortress.
NOBODY can get in there.

BOBBY
You know what that means.

TAYA
One of our heisters
either works for him -

BOBBY
Or is related to him.
(starts the engine)
Wanna earn a little overtime?

TAYA
(stares out the window)
Yeah, sure. It’s a -- big lead.

Bobby pulls the car out,
starts driving down the alley.

BOBBY
Tell you what.
Why don’t we pick up some
Fatburger on the way,
and bottle of something for afterward.

TAYA
(looks at him, a half-smile)
That would be -- nice.

BOBBY
Hey. I might be an asshole sometimes.
But I gotta heart.

TAYA
Not to mention a big dick.

BOBBY
(looks at her, turns red)
I, uh --

TAYA
Shut up and drive.

EXT. VENICE PIER - PARKING LOT - AT THAT MOMENT
Rod and Cam RUN to the VW van.
JUMP in. SLAM the doors.

He rubs the wires together.
They SPARK. The engine ROARS.

ROD
Let’s get the fuck OUTTA HERE.

Cam turns, looks in the back.

CAM
The MONEY, it’s GONE!

ROD
(SLAMS on the brakes)
What THE FUCK?

He looks.

THE BACK OF THE VAN
Is empty.

ROD
POUNDS on the steering wheel.

ROD
God-DAMMIT!
That was TWO-HUNDRED GRAND.

CAM
We should’ve taken it with us,
LIKE I SAID.

ROD
Shut the fuck up and let me think.

CAM
Think while you’re driving.
We gotta get THE FUCK OUTTA HERE.

Rod puts the van into gear,
and ROARS out the parking lot.

ROD
We gotta find a place
to hole up for a bit.
Then make a new score.

CAM
How much did we get from the bar?

ROD
About five-hundred.
That should keep us going
for a little while.

CAM
Rod, we gotta blow town.
The cops are gonna trace
the RV back to my parents.
(beat)
If they already haven’t.

ROD
Shit. Fuck me in the ass. FUCK ME.
(thinks)
Okay. Here’s what we do.
We hole up in a fleabag motel,
the kind where they don’t give a fuck.
Then, tomorrow -- we change our appearance,
so we look different,
and then go knock off another bank.

CAM
NOW you’re talking.

ROD
(looks up ahead)
As a matter of fact,
there’s a nice little
‘adult motel’ coming up.

The van drives through an intersection.

CAM
You mean the kind with
the 'magic fingers' bed?

ROD
Give you any ideas?

CAM
How can you think of sex
at a time like this?

ROD
I’m a guy.

CAM
That’s all you guys think about.
You think with your dick.

ROD
Hey. At least I don’t think with my gun --

Name Your Poison

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Monday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 26 of GUN-WILD, trigger-happy runaway heiress Cam Clinch and her squeeze Rod Funk stop into a local neighborhood dive in search of warmth and cocktails, but when one of the regulars recognizes them from a report on the TV news, they get a double-shot of trouble ...


INT. HINANO’S - MOMENTS LATER
A warm, cozy, dark, beachy dive. Old-school.
Sawdust and peanut shells on the floor.

Pool table. Neon beer signs.
The jukebox plays The Clash’s cover
of I FOUGHT THE LAW over --

A pair of LOCALS at end of the bar
watch a ball game on an old TV
suspended by chains up above.

Rod and Cam walk in.
All eyes turn and look.

THE BARTENDER (40’s), is a large gal
with a gorgeous face.

Biker-chic, with long red hair.
Harley T-shirt. Bandana. Boots.

FAT BARTENDER
ROD FUNK? What the FUCK?
Where the hell have YOU been?

ROD
(smiles)
Rosie. Haven’t changed a bit.

ROSIE
Bull-shit.
I get fatter every year.
(looks at Cam)
And who is this?
You cheating on me?

ROD
This here is Cam.
Fastest gun at the beach.

CAM
Hey.

ROSIE
Pleased to meet you, doll.
(to Rod)
Am I getting older,
or are your fillies getting younger.

ROD
Don’t give me that shit.
You don’t look day over twenty-nine, baby.

ROSIE
Flattery will get your dick sucked.
Name your poison.
First round’s on the house.

ROD
Double shot of Jack,
and a bottle of Corona.

CAM
Works for me.

Rosie turns, grabs a bottle of Jack.
Pours three shots. Slides two over.

Grabs two bottles from the cooler.
CRACKS them open.
Puts them in front of Rod and Cam.

ROD
(lifts his shot)
Much obliged.
(to Cam)
Honey? A toast?

CAM
(lifts hers)
To?

ROSIE
(raises hers)
Getting FUCKED UP.

They all smile. DOWN them.

ROD
(wipes his mouth)
Hit me again.
Fucking cold out there.

ROSIE
(smiles, pours)
So what do I owe the pleasure
of your company this fine evening?

ROD
Just in the nabe.
Haven’t been here in awhile,
thought it would be fun to --

ROSIE
(to Cam)
Did you know your fella
used to play 'Ring Around the Rosie?'

ROD
Rosie --

CAM
WHAT?

ROSIE
That’s right, dolly.
(glares at Rod)
Said he liked a gal with
a little MEAT on her bones.
(glares at Cam)
But now it looks like
he prefers BONES --
with no MEAT.

CAM
What the FUCK?

ROD
Rosie --

MALE VOICE (O.C.)
Holy fucking SHIT.

A GRIZZLED REGULAR at the end of the bar
looks at Rosie.

GRIZZLED REGULAR
ROSIE. Turn on the news.
Them two are BANK ROBBERS.
Cops are lookin’ for ‘em.

ROSIE
Get the fuck outta here.

She turns around.
Flicks on the TV
next to the register.

ON THE TV
We see Kim’s perfect drawing
of Rod and Cam.

REPORTER (V.O.)
-- wanted in connection with the deaths
of three police officers and two civilians.
If you see them, contact your local precinct
immediately, and be careful.
They’re considered armed and extremely dangerous.
We go now to David Brazil,
on the scene at Venice Beach.

Rosie reaches under the bar --

ROSIE
You fucking ASSHOLE.
You have the nerve to come in here --
(raises up a baseball bat)
And FUCK with my BUSINESS.

Cam WHIPS out her Glock.
CLICKS the safety.

CAM
Put the fucking bat down, you FAT PIG --
or I’ll blow your TITS OFF.

ROSIE
You wouldn’t fucking DARE.

ROD
Cam, let’s just get
the fuck outta here.

ROSIE
Beat it, WHORE.

CAM
CUNT!

Cam FIRES -- BANG.
The mirror behind the bar EXPLODES.

ROSIE
(swings the bat)
Fucking BITCH!

Cam PLUGS Rosie in the face.
BANG, BANG, BANG.

Her head EXPLODES.
She DROPS the bat, CRACK.
Hits the floor, THWUNK.

GRIZZLED REGULAR
(whispers)
Holy SHIT.

CAM
(to Rod)
Empty the register
and let’s get THE FUCK outta here.

Rod HOPS over the bar.
BANGS open the drawer.

Starts grabbing the money.
Turns and looks.

ROD
Why did ya have to go and do that?

CAM
(glaring)
She disrespected me.
Some boyfriend YOU turned out to be.
(lowers the gun)
Grab a couple bottles and LET’S GO.

Rod shoves the money in his pocket.
Grabs the booze.

Grizzled Regular stares at Cam.
Shaking with fear.

GRIZZLED REGULAR
Please don’t shoot.
We didn’t see nothing.
We-we-we won’t t-talk.

The other regular, a dumb-looking
CONSTRUCTION WORKER whispers into his cell phone.
Cam sees this. MARCHES over.

CAM
GIMMEE THAT PHONE.
(snatches it from him)
Who THE FUCK were you calling?
(looks)
911? GODDAMMIT.

She SHOOTS him in the head. BANG.
Dumb-looking falls off his stool.
Hits the floor. THUMP.

GRIZZLED REGULAR
Ohmigod, NO -- PLEASE, NO!

Cam puts the gun in the
waistband of her jeans. Smiles. Evil.

CAM
Don’t worry. You get to live.
(beat)
Gotta leave someone to tell the story --

Grizzled nods vigorously, scared shitless.

CAM
You tell the fucking cops
that it was SELF-DEFENSE.
That the fat, fucking whore
was gonna ATTACK ME. Got it?

GRIZZLED REGULAR
G-got it.

CAM
(to Rod)
C’mon. Let’s blow this cluster-fuck.

And they RACE out the door --

Summer Of Love

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Friday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 25 of GUN-WILD, Cam and Rod's Asian art dealer hostage, now safely with the cops, draws an amazing photo of the bank robbers which is being sent to every cop in the state. Meanwhile, Rod and Cam hole up in their car at the Venice Pier, trying to figure out where to go, when Rod decides they should go to his favorite neighborhood dive bar for a few cocktails ...


INT. LUXURY RV - DAY
Taya slowly reaches the top of the stairs,
gun aimed with both hands. Listening.
She walks into the bedroom, and sees --

Hondo and Net’s dead bodies.
Lying in pools of blood.

Candle still flickering.
Soft Buddha chill still thumping.

She SCREAMS.

EXT. VENICE ALLEY - AT THAT MOMENT
The cop in the cruiser hears the scream.
JUMPS OUT of the car.
DASHES into the Winnebago.

ROD AND CAM
Watch from the VW van.

ROD
That’s our cue.

He touches two stripped wires together
on the steering column. They SPARK.

The bus engine ROARS to life.
He puts it in gear, and they
start slowly driving down the alley.

IN THE VAN
Cam looks at Rod.

ROD
Where we gonna go?

CAM
Hell if I know.

ROD
Let’s go down to the Venice pier.
We need to think, regroup.
We can sleep in the back.
(weird smile)
Pretend it’s the summer of love.

CAM
We can -- play that game again.

ROD
Don’t you ever want -- vanilla?

CAM
Sorry, love-bucket.
(pulls out her gun)
Not on the menu.

INT. WINNEBAGO - LIVING AREA - AT THAT MOMENT
The joint hums with activity.

Two pairs of CORONER’S OFFICE TECHS
carry out the bodies on gurneys.

CRIME SCENE TECHS dust the place for prints.
A PHOTOGRAPHER takes pictures.

Asian Art Vendor sits on the couch
with a sketch book, drawing.

Bobby and Taya sit on either side
watching him.

BOBBY
You’re really good.

ASIAN ART VENDOR
Thank you. I like to -- sketch.

TAYA
(writes in notebook)
What’s your name, please?

ASIAN ART VENDOR
Kim Oh.

BOBBY
Kim O. -- what?
(off his look)
Your last name?

KIM
Oh. Spelled ‘O,’ ‘H.’

TAYA
Oh. Got it.

KIM
You couldn’t pronounce real name.

BOBBY
You ever consider working
for the police department,
you’ve got a job.

Hispanic Cop walks into the room.

HISPANIC COP
How’s it going.

BOBBY
Amazing. Take a look.
(nudges Kim)
Show him?

Kim turns the sketch around.
We see an incredibly photo-realistic
picture of Cam and Rod.

HISPANIC COP
Holy shit. That’s them.

BOBBY
Can you get this out right away?

HISPANIC COP
Sure.

BOBBY
Send it to every department
in a hundred mile radius.

TAYA
And the media.

HISPANIC COP
(takes the drawing)
I’m on it like white on rice.
(realizes)
Uh -- sorry about that.

He leaves. Kim looks at the coffee table.
Wipes the glass with a finger.
Rubs it on his gums.

TAYA
Hey.

BOBBY
It’s okay. He’s in shock.
(to Kim)
No more of that, okay?

KIM
(nods, looks at him)
That’s good shit.
(beat)
Nice -- freeze.

EXT. VENICE PIER - DUSK
Sunset. A cloud-covered
orange smear on the gray horizon.
The VW bus rolls into the lot. Stops.

IN THE VAN
Cam rubs her bare arms.

CAM
I’m cold.

ROD
Let’s go get something to warm us up.

CAM
(evil smile)
Liquor store?

ROD
Uh-uh.
(meaningfully)
Hinano’s.

CAM
What’s Hinano’s?

ROD
You don’t know HINANO’S?
It’s only been around for 75 years.
50 microbrews on tap.
Hot and cold running shooters.
Killer jukebox.
Best cheeseburgers in town.
And if you know the owner,
you can get mescal.

CAM
Let’s go eat the worm.
(beat)
You think they’ll have
much in the register?

ROD
Cam, this is one of my old hangouts.

CAM
So we’re just gonna have drinks?

ROD
Yeah. We’re just gonna
chill for a little bit.
You know, like ‘normal’ people?

CAM
'Normal?' What’s that?

Cocaine Cowboys

Happy Thursday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 24 of GUN-WILD, bank robbers Cam Clinch and Rod Funk narrowly escape the cops chasing them through the Venice Beach back alleys ... but when robbery-homicide detectives Bobby Teen and Taya Ralls rescue their Asian art vendor hostage in the abandoned RV, he offers to draw their picture ...


EXT. VENICE BEACH - STREET CORNER - DAY
Bobby and Taya RUN down the alley off the boardwalk.
Reach the corner. Stop. Look around.

BOBBY
Shit.

TAYA
Fuck.

BOBBY
Where did they go?

Another POLICE CRUISER
roars up the corner.

BRAKES with a SCREECH of rubber.
They dash over to it.

BEEFY HISPANIC COP
Are you Robbery/Homicide?

BOBBY
(nods)
Detective Teen, this is detective Ralls.

HISPANIC COP
(eyes her)
Hi, there.
(nods at the car)
Jump in.
They’re around her somewhere.
Could use the extra eyes.

They get in.
The cruisers ROARS off down Speedway.

INT. WINNEBAGO - AT THAT MOMENT
Cam’s got the gym bag filled with wet money.
Water drips onto the floor.

Rod finishes tying up
Asian Art Vendor with rope.

SLAPS duct tape over his mouth.
He stares balefully.

CAM
Chink’s got eyes like a puppy dog.

Rod grabs a towel.
Ties it around his head.

ROD
There.

CAM
Maybe we should put him to sleep.

ROD
NO. We’re in enough trouble as it is.

CAM
Jesus Christ, I was JOKING.

ROD
You’re a goddamn laugh-riot.
Now let’s get the fuck out of here.

EXT. WINNEBAGO - CONTINUOUS
Rod and Cam walk down the alley.
Approach an old VW van.

ROD
Perfect.

He goes to the passenger door.
Jimmies it open. They pile in.

INT. VW VAN - CONTINUOUS
Cam shoots Rod a look.

CAM
What is it with you and old cars?

ROD
I told you,
they’re easier to break into --
and there’s usually no alarm.
(looks in the rear view)
Shit, COPS. Duck down --

They crouch down in the seat.

IN THE ALLEY
The police cruiser pulls up
alongside the Winnebago.

Bobby and Taya JUMP out.
RACE over to door.
Pull out their guns.

IN THE VW VAN
Rod and Cam peer over the seat.
Watching.

CAM
I say we drive outta here real slow.
Pretty soon this place is
gonna be crawling with pigs.

ROD
(looks at her)
You watch a lot of old movies,
don’t you?

She shoots him a look.
Raises her gun. Crooked smile.

CAM
(low)
You've got to ask yourself one question, punk.
(CLICKS the safety)
Do I feel lucky?

IN THE WINNEBAGO
Bobby and Taya walk carefully
into the back, weapons drawn.

BOBBY
(nods at the door)
I’m gonna check out the bedroom.
You cover me.

TAYA
Got it.

Bobby KICKS OPEN the door.
BURSTS IN.

IN THE BEDROOM
Bobby sees Asian Art Vendor.
Rushes to him.

Peels off the duct tape.
Starts untying the ropes.

IN THE MAIN ROOM
Taya starts climbing the circular staircase.
Bobby comes into the room with Asian.
Sees Taya.

BOBBY
Look what I found.

Asian stares. Mute. Terrified.

TAYA
A hostage --

BOBBY
And he’s in shock.

TAYA
I’m gonna go upstairs.
You stay with him.
Look for evidence.

BOBBY
Got it.
(beat)
Love it when you take charge.

Taya starts up the stairs.
Bobby motions for Asian
to sit on the couch. He does.
Looks like he’s about to implode.

Bobby goes to the coffee table.
Wets a finger.

Wipes it on the glass.
Tastes it.

BOBBY
Got ourselves some cocaine cowboys.

ASIAN ART VENDOR
Not cowboys -- man and woman.

BOBBY
Did you see their faces?

ASIAN ART VENDOR
Yes. I can draw picture if you like.

BOBBY
I like.

Me Love You Long Time

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Wednesday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 23 of GUN-WILD, with the cops hot in pursuit, trigger-happy trust fund heiress Cam Clinch and career criminal Rod Funk make their escape in the RV with their hostage ... and plow right through the crowd on the Venice Boardwalk ...

EXT. VENICE BEACH BOARDWALK - DAY

THE WINNEBAGO
Takes off like rocket,
PLOWS into the crowd.

People SCREAM,
JUMP out of the way.

It SMASHES into a vendor’s TABLE.
Cheap, shitty jewelry
FLIES in the air.

THE POLICE CRUISER
Turns left. Follows them.
Picks up speed.

POLICE OFFICER (O.C.)
(electronic)
YOU, in the RV -- STOP, NOW!

IN THE WINNEBAGO
Cam looks in the rearview.

CAM
They’re FOLLOWING US.

Asian Art Dealer SCREAMS.

CAM
SHUT UP, fucking CHINK!

ASIAN ART VENDOR
I’m Japanese, not CHINESE.
We don’t LOOK ALIKE.

CAM
Yes YOU DO, motherfucker!

THE WINNEBAGO
SWERVES.

Careens into a SIDEWALK CAFE.
PLOWS into tables. CRASH.

Patrons LEAP out of their seats.
JUMP out of the way.

IN THE WINNEBAGO
Rod looks at Cam.

ROD
Hold on tight.
I got an idea.

He STOMPS on the brakes.

ON THE BOARDWALK
The Winnebago SCREECHES to a halt.

The police cruiser SMASHES
into the rear end. CRASH.
The hood CRUMPLES.

IN THE WINNEBAGO
Rod turns left,
pulls into an alley
between buildings.

BOBBY AND TAYA
Come running up the boardwalk
toward us, weapons drawn.

They race up
to the ruined cruiser.

BOBBY
You okay?

IRATE COP
Yeah. FUCK-HEADS.
(points)
They went down that alley.
Big fucking RV.

BOBBY
Goddammit.
(to Taya)
C’mon --

And they RACE
toward the alley.

IN THE ALLEY
The Winnebago turns
right onto Speedway,
a narrow street which
runs behind the boardwalk.

IN THE WINNEBAGO
Rod downshifts.
Slows down a bit.

ROD
Okay, where do we go,
where do we go.

CAM
Turn left into that alley.

THE WINNEBAGO
Turns left.

Lumbers through an alley
between walkway streets.

A tight squeeze.
It pulls over. Stops.


IN THE WINNEBAGO
Rod turns. Looks at Cam.

ROD
Okay, what now?

CAM
We grab the money,
go jack new wheels.

ROD
The money’s floating
in the tub, doll.

CAM
Then you watch Egg Foo Young here,
and I’ll go wrap it up in a towel.

She gets out of her seat.
Moves toward the rear of the bus.

ASIAN ART DEALER
Sits in his seat.

Trembling with anger.
Glares at Cam.

ASIAN ART VENDOR
Egg Foo Young is
CHINESE FOOD.
NOT Japanese.

Cam comes up to him.
Places her gun against his head.

CAM
You’re confusing me
with someone who gives a fuck.
(CLICKS the safety)
Go ahead. Give me a reason.

ROD
CAM. Stop fucking around.

CAM
(lowers her gun, to Asian)
This is your lucky day, Grasshopper.
(strokes the barrel)
Me love you long time --

Hold Onto Your Tits

Happy Tuesday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 22 of GUN-WILD, just as trigger-happy runaway heiress Cam Clinch and her partner in crime Rod Funk start to dispose of the dead bodies in their RV, someone outside who heard the gunshots knocks on the door ...


INT. WINNEBAGO - DAY
Cam and Rod stand near the door.
Guns drawn.

Listening to the
POUNDING on the door.

ASIAN MALE VOICE (O.C.)
Hey! Are you alright in there?

ROD
Go get the door.
Tell him the engine backfired.

CAM
I got an idea.

She pulls off her T-shirt.
Big grin.

ROD
You’re a genius.

Cam goes to the door.
OPENS IT.

OUTSIDE THE WINNEBAGO
Stands an ASIAN ART VENDOR (30’s).
Small, squirrely. Glasses.

ASIAN ART VENDOR
(sees Cam, stares)
Oh. Hello.

CAM
(brightly)
Hey, there. What’s up?

ASIAN ART VENDOR
(eyes wide)
I heard -- gunshots.
Are you -- okay?

CAM
Gunshots?
Those weren’t gunshots.
The engine backfired.

ASIAN ART VENDOR
No -- I heard gunshots.
(staring)
I called -- 911.

Rod appears in the doorway.
With a sawed-off shotgun.

ROD
Get in the fucking BUS, NOW.

ASIAN ART VENDOR
(scared, confused, turned on)
But I don’t -- understand.

Cam reaches over.
GRABS his arm.
YANKS him inside.

CAM
Sorry -- no tickie.

INSIDE THE WINNEBAGO
Cam holds her gun
against Asian’s head.

CAM
(points to the dining nook)
Over there, SIT.

Asian does.
Scared shitless.

ASIAN ART VENDOR
Please, don’t hurt me.
I was only trying to HELP.

CAM
Shut the FUCK up.
(to Rod)
We gotta get the
fuck out of here, NOW.

ROD
What are we gonna
do about HIM?

CAM
We’ll figure that out later.
C’MON, we gotta get OUTTA HERE.

Rod DASHES OVER
to the driver’s seat.
GUNS the engine.

CAM
Go slow.
We’re just a couple of tourists,
leaving the beach after a nice day.

ROD
(turns the wheel, hits the gas)
Yeah. With two dead bodies,
a hostage, and a
bathtub full of bloody cash.

EXT. VENICE BEACH - PARKING LOT - CONTINUOUS
The behemoth slowly pulls out of the parking lot.

UP AHEAD
A POLICE CRUISER
comes roaring straight at them.

Cherry top FLASHING.
Siren SCREAMING.
WHOOP-WHOOP-WHOOP.

IN THE WINNEBAGO
Cam grips the back of the seat.

CAM
Fucking COPS!

Rod turns right,
onto the boardwalk.

ROD
Hold onto your tits --

CAM
Ohmigod, NO.
Not on the fucking BOARDWALK!

ROD
You wanna go to fucking JAIL?

And he PUNCHES the gas --

Jailbait Hookers

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Monday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 21 of GUN-WILD, trigger-happy runaway heiress Cam Clinch and bank robber Rod Funk suddenly have to deal with disposing of the dead bodies Cam just shot, when they hear a knock on the door of their RV. Meanwhile, robbery-homicide detectives Bobby Teen and Taya Ralls hear the gunshots, and start running toward the RV ...

INT. RV - MASTER BEDROOM - DAY
Cam SCREAMS. GRABS her gun. Takes aim.
SHOOTS Hondo in the chest, BANG.
A red stain starts growing on his t-shirt.

HONDO
You SHOT ME. Fucking BITCH!

NET
HONDO!

Net races over to him.
Cam fires again. BANG.
In the neck.

Blood starts SPRAYING.
Net tries to stop it with her hands.

CAM
That’ll teach you to mess with MY MAN.

ROD
CAM? WHAT THE FUCK!?

NET
(looks at Cam)
You fucking CUNT! You SHOT HIM!

CAM
Those are your last words --
(SHOOTS HER)
Bitch.

Net falls over. THWUNK.
Shot in the head.

The arc of blood
from Hondo’s neck FLIES OUT --
onto the open bag of money.

ROD
Jesus fucking Christ, Cam.
Jesus fucking CHRIST.
Look what you did.
We’re FUCKED. FUCKED.
(beat)
Ohmigod, ohmigod, ohmigod.

Cam stares at the bodies.
A strange look in her eyes.

CAM
(a whisper)
Shot his head -- clean off.

ROD
(sees)
Oh, SHIT. FUCK. The money!

He LEAPS out of bed.
Grabs the case. Takes it into --

THE BATHROOM
Where he THROWS it in the bathtub.

TURNS ON the shower,
spraying water on the money.
He RACES back into --

THE BEDROOM
Where Cam stands over the bodies.
Fondling the gun.

Rod comes up behind her.
Looks.

CAM
(spooky)
Where’d you go, honey?

ROD
We gotta clean the money.
It’s covered in BLOOD.

CAM
You mad at me?

Be careful here.

ROD
No, I’m not mad at you.
(sighs)
We’ve gotta figure out
what we’re gonna do with the bodies.
(thinks)
First we need to get the fuck outta here.
Someone must of heard the gun shots.

We hear a loud KNOCKING
on the door downstairs.

Something inside Cam CLICKS back on.
She turns, looks at Rod.

CAM
Don’t worry, honey.
I’ll take care of it.

PUSH IN ON Rod.
Scared shitless.

ROD
That’s what I’m afraid of.

EXT. VENICE BOARDWALK - AT THAT MOMENT
Bobby and Taya eat slices of pizza.
Bobby’s got his folded in half lengthwise.
Taya eats hers off a paper plate.

They walk by a grizzled group of HIPPIES
playing bad music for a sidewalk cafe.

The patrons could give a shit.
The hippies are oblivious,
living their Grateful Dead dreams.

BOBBY
That’s what I like about Venice.
Fucking time warp.
(points)
Check out Abbie Hoffman over there.

TAYA
(looks, frowns)
I can smell him from here.

BOBBY
Welcome to ‘The home of the homeless.’

TAYA
(chuckles)
You’re terrible.

They continue walking.
Pass a group of HIGH SCHOOL GIRLS.

BOBBY
Bastard was right.
They DO all look alike.
(beat)
Jailbait HOOKERS.

A BUFF ISRAELI SHOPKEEPER (30)
runs up to them.

BUFF ISRAELI SHOPKEEPER
Officers, officers!
Did you hear the gunshots?

BOBBY
GUNSHOTS? Where?

TAYA
How did you know we were --

BUFF ISRAELI SHOPKEEPER
(points)
In the parking lot.
Over that way --
(to Taya)
Your shoes. Dead giveaway.

BOBBY
Thanks.
(to Taya)
COME ON.

They pull out their guns.
Start RUNNING.

TAYA
I’m getting fucking SNEAKERS --

To Protect And Swerve

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Friday. Are you ready for the weak-end? Then it's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 20 of GUN-WILD, robbery-homicide detectives Bobby Teen and Taya Ralls trace the bank robbers' marked bills to a convenience store on the Venice Boardwalk. Meanwhile, in the gang's blacked-out RV in a nearby parking lot, Cam and Rod awaken to a bisexual orgy in progress, and things quickly turn bloody ...


EXT. VENICE BOARDWALK - CONVENIENCE STORE - DAY
A tiny, sleepy joint. LOCALS shuffle by STREET VENDORS.

A pair of HOMELESS KIDS
hold up a sign: FUCK MILK. GOT POT?

INT. CONVENIENCE STORE - CONTINUOUS
Detectives Bobby Teen and Taya Ralls
speak with the STORE OWNER (50’s),
a wiry, angry-looking Armenian.

ARMENIAN STORE OWNER
You mean to tell me
I’m out a hundred bucks?

BOBBY
(holds up the bill)
I’m sorry, but it’s evidence.

He zips it into a glassine bag.
Puts it in his pocket.

ARMENIAN STORE OWNER
But that’s my MONEY.

TAYA
I’m sorry, sir.
It’s standard procedure.
You’ll get it back.

ARMENIAN STORE OWNER
Yeah, right -- it’ll get put
in some fucking evidence locker,
and will get mysteriously LOST.

BOBBY
EXCUSE ME?

TAYA
Could you describe the young woman
who spent the bill?

ARMENIAN STORE OWNER
She was a young girl, early 20’s.
Boardwalk’s full of ‘em.
They all look alike. Blonde.
T-shirt and jeans. Flip-flops.

BOBBY
(squinting at something on the wall)
That your license to sell beer and wine?

ARMENIAN STORE OWNER
Uh -- yeah.

BOBBY
Boy, I’d bet business would go
WAY down if you couldn’t sell
Colt 45 and Thunderbird.

Pause.

ARMENIAN STORE OWNER
She was kinda strange.
Kept giggling to herself.
Bought all kinds of junk food,
and a ton of beer and wine.
Surprised she could carry it all.

TAYA
Was she wearing a baseball cap?

ARMENIAN STORE OWNER
Yeah. Yankees cap.
Don’t see them that much around here,
come to think of it.

BOBBY
What about her T-shirt?

ARMENIAN STORE OWNER
Some band shirt. My Life With --

TAYA
My life with?

ARMENIAN STORE OWNER
Some cult.

BOBBY
A cult? But you said it was a band --

ARMENIAN STORE OWNER
The Thrill Kill Kult. That’s it.
My Life With The Thrill Kill Kult.
With a cartoon of a -- stripper or something.
Dominatrix shit.

Bobby and Taya exchange glances.

BOBBY
Thank you very much.
You’ve been most helpful.

TAYA
Don’t worry about the money.
I promise we’ll have it
dusted for prints and mailed to you
in a couple of days.

ARMENIAN STORE OWNER
(still pissed)
Okay.

Bobby and Taya amble outside onto --

THE BOARDWALK
Bobby pulls out the bag.
Takes out the hundred. Smiles.

TAYA
What are you doing? That’s evidence.
BOBBY
(waves it at her)
Already dusted for prints.
C’mon, let’s go grab a slice to eat
while we canvas the area.
I know a great place
right down the street.

TAYA
You’re evil.

BOBBY
To protect and serve -- ourselves.

INT. WINNEBAGO - UPSTAIRS BEDROOM - A LITTLE LATER
The joint has become a true opium den.

Windows blacked out.
Debris scattered around.

Some Buddha Lounge chill
thumps softly in the haze.
A lone candle flickers in the shadows.

Net lays next to Cam, snuggling.
Cam is out cold, a dreamy smile on her lips.
Net strokes her hair, softly humming.

Rod lays at the end of the bed, face up.
Hondo’s on his knees beside him --
giving Rod head.

Slowly, up and down.
Up and down. In heaven.
Having a gay old time.

Net puts her arm around Cam’s waist.
SQUEEZES tight.

NET
Mmmmmm.

CAM
(awakens)
OW.
(looks)
HEY. Get the fuck OFF ME.

She WHIPS Net’s arm away.

NET
What? What’s wrong?

CAM
(awake now)
FUCKING DYKE.

Rod stirs from his opium-laced reverie.
Sees what Hondo is doing. FREAKS OUT.

THROWS Hondo off of him. PUNCHES him.
Hondo HITS the floor with a CRACK.

HONDO
HEY, ow, FUCK!

ROD
What the FUCK
do you think you’re DOING?

HONDO
You seemed to like it.

CAM
(looks)
What’s the fuck’s GOING ON?

HONDO
(to Cam)
He was fucking BLOWING ME!

Cam SCREAMS. GRABS her gun. Takes aim.
SHOOTS Hondo in the chest, BANG.

A red stain starts
growing on his t-shirt.

HONDO
You SHOT ME. Fucking BITCH!

NET
HONDO!

Net races over to him.
Cam fires again. BANG. In the neck.

Blood starts SPRAYING.
Net tries to stop it with her hands.

CAM
That’ll teach you
to mess with MY MAN --

Party Out Of Bounds

Happy Thursday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 19 of GUN-WILD, trigger-happy runaway trust fund heiress Cam Clinch gets down with bank robber Rod Funk in the RV bedroom ... but when she starts getting kinky with her gun, he shoots more than his load ...


INT. RV - BACK BEDROOM - NIGHT
Hondo lies in bed with Net.
Touches her bare leg.

She SLAPS his hand away.
Pulls out a joint. Lights it.

NET
Keep your hands off me -- faggot.

HONDO
(laughs)
Who you calling a faggot?

NET
You wanna fuck him -- instead of me.

HONDO
You got that wrong, darlin’ --
I wanna fuck BOTH of you.
(beat)
You said you were a swinger.

NET
A Straight swinger, asshole --
not fucking GAY.

HONDO
What? You never orgied?

NET
Yeah, but where I come from,
guys fuck girls,
and girls fuck girls,
but GUYS don’t fuck GUYS.

HONDO
That’s right, I forgot -- you’re from Texas.

NET
What the fuck is THAT supposed to mean?

She grabs a bottle of tequila
on the bed stand. CHUGS it.

HONDO
You know you might be a redneck, IF --

NET
ASSHOLE!

Net THROWS the bottle at him. He DUCKS.
It SMASHES against the wall -- CRASH.

HONDO
BABY!
(grabs her)
I’m SORRY.

NET
(shrieks)
What the FUCK?

She starts crying. Sobbing.
He strokes her hair.

HONDO
I’m sorry, baby -- I’m sorry.
I was just playin’ with you --
(beat)
We’re fucked up -- you know? I’m SORRY.

NET
(tears subside)
Kay --

HONDO
What can I do to make it up to you?
What would make my little bank robber happy?

Net pulls away. Nasty smile. Eyes burning.

NET
You can fix me a Cam sandwich.

INT. WINNEBAGO - UPSTAIRS BEDROOM - AT THAT MOMENT
Circular stairs lead up to the second level bedroom.
Plush and ornate. Plasma-screen. Wet bar.

The stereo softly thumps some
trippy world-beat like Thievery Corporation.

Cam lays back on the bed against the pillows.
Rod sits on the other side. Sips a drink.

ROD
But I don’t understand.

CAM
I said, no touching.

ROD
So, what -- you want me to watch you -- ?

CAM
(dreamy)
I like to watch --

ROD
Watch you -- play with yourself?

CAM
First -- the money.

ROD
What do you wanna do with the money?

CAM
Wanna -- fuck the money.
(sips her drink)
Throw some on the bed, willya?

Rod puts his drink down. Leans over,
takes a couple of fistfuls of bills
from the bag on the floor.

ROD
You’re crazy --

And he THROWS the cash on the bed.
It flutters down over Cam.

CAM
(giggles)
More, more, MORE.

She picks the gun up off the bedside table.
Starts rubbing it on her crotch.
Rod THROWS more money on her.

CAM
Yeah, that’s it -- that’s it --

She grabs some with her other hand.
Rubs it on her chest.

CAM
Hot dollars --

ROD
Fuck. Turning me on --

He reaches into his boxer shorts.
Starts stroking it.

CAM
You like that, baby?

ROD
You’re so -- fucking hot.

CAM
Gun-wild, lover. Gun-wild.

She maneuvers the pistol inside her panties.
Slowly, carefully -- slides the barrel inside.
GASPS.

CAM
(closes her eyes)
Ohmigod.

ROD
Holy shit.

CAM
OMIGOD -- I’m gonna --

ROD
UHHH -- UHHH --

CAM
I’m gonna, I’m gonna --

Her body shudders. She MOANS.
CRIES OUT. AHHHHHHHHH!

Finally finding release.
Rod SHOOTS a load in his shorts.

ROD
ARRRRRRRRRGH!

We hear FOOTSTEPS coming up the stairs.
A soft knock-knock.

HONDO (O.C.)
Greetings, love birds.

HONDO
Appears in the doorway.
Net, shyly hides behind him. WASTED.

HONDO
I brought a peace offering.
(holds up a pipe)
Black opium. Total chill.
(smiles)
Party out of bounds.

Cam’s eyes open.
She looks at Hondo. What the?

Rod looks at Hondo. Tries to focus.

ROD
Opium? I didn’t you know had --

HONDO
Secret stash. For emergencies.

CAM
Never did -- opium.

NET
It’s -- beautiful.
(raises her hands)
Beautiful.

HONDO
(sees the money)
Why’s all the cash on the gash?

CAM
Reindeer games, baby.

ROD
She’s a little -- kinky.

HONDO
Tell me something I DIDN’T know.

He smiles. Comes over to the bed.
Sits at the end. Net joins him.

He lights the pipe.
Takes a big hit. Holds it in.
Leans over. Hands it to Cam. EXHALES.

HONDO
Get ready to see God --

CAM
(takes the pipe)
Just saw her, baby.
(dreamy)
Just saw her.
(beat)
And she made me come --
(beat)
With cold blue steel.

She slides the pipe between her lips.
Flicks her Bic --

And TAKES A BIG HIT.

Faster, Pussycat

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Hump Day. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 18 of GUN-WILD, trigger-happy runaway trust fund heiress Cam Clinch and the gang of bank robbers get high and party in the getaway RV ... but the hijinx soon turn sexual ... and kinky ... when Cam pulls out her gun and asks Rod 'play a game' with her ...


INT. WINNEBAGO - AT THAT MOMENT
Psycho-rockabilly AT FULL VOLUME:
Horropops’ THELMA & LOUISE.

Rod and Hondo sit on the couch,
high as fucking kites.

Cam and Net do a frenzied go-go dance
on the coffee table.

Net’s topless,
shaking with abandon,
gun in hand.

NET
(sings)
Just like, Thelma and Loooo-uise --

Cam takes a swig
from a bottle of Jack Daniels.

Reaches around,
UNSNAPS her halter top.
It FLIES OFF.

She SHAKES HER BOOBS
in time with Net.

CAM
Faster, pussycat!

HONDO
BOOBAGE! Shake it, sunset girl!

Net sees. Smiles.
GRABS Cam’s boobs
with both hands.

NET
HONK-HONK!

CAM
HEY!

She SLAPS Net’s hands away.

NET
Oooh, touchy --

HONDO
Touchy-FEELY.

ROD
(stands)
Hey, baby -- wanna dance?

He goes to Cam.
Takes her hand.

She JUMPS off the table.
Dances like a maniac.
Shakes her boobs in his face.

Hondo comes up behind Rod.
GRABS his ass with both hands.

Rod WHIRLS AROUND --
and SLAPS him in the face.

ROD
BACK OFF.

HONDO
(rubs his cheek, smiles)
Dude. Why so uptight?
Just fuckin’ with ya.

ROD
The only FUCKING I do
is with CHICKS -- GOT IT?

HONDO
(raises his hands)
Chill, bro -- chill.

Hondo goes to Net,
still dancing on the table,
eyes closed, blissed out.

GRABS her hand,
PULLS her down with a YANK --
bare feet SLAP the floor.

NET
OW!

Hondo picks her up.

HONDO
C’mon, hot stuff --
private party.
(looks at Rod)
No prudes allowed.
(laughs)
Pussy to go --

And he carries her off
to the back bedroom,
Net SQUEALING.

Rod watches them.
Turns to Cam.
Puts his arms around her.

CAM
What are you -- doing?

ROD
Give you any ideas?

Cam pulls out her gun.
Aims it at his crotch.

CAM
Let’s go upstairs --
play a game.

ROD
(pushes it away)
Whoah. Careful.
That’s the family jewels.

Cam smiles.
Rubs the gun
against her crotch.

CAM
Maybe this is better.
Longer. Stiffer.
(meaningfully)
Never shoots blanks.

ROD
Kinky girl.
So that’s the way
you want to play it?

Cam leers.
Holds the gun barrel
against her lips.
Licks it.

CAM
Let’s go upstairs
and find out.
(beat)
And bring the money --

Brown Sugar

Happy Tuesday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 17 of GUN-WILD, robbery-homicide detectives Bobby Teen and Taya Ralls take a break from hunting down Cam and her gang of bank robbers, and have a little tryst at a local sleazy motel ... where they investigate interracial sex relations ...


EXT. SLEAZY MOTEL - DAY
‘The International.’
Flags from around the world
painted on a cinder block bunker.
Behind a gas station in The Hood.

Bobby and Taya’s car is parked
at the end of the gravel lot.

INT. - MOTEL ROOM - CONTINUOUS
Bobby lies on top of Taya
on a giant heart-shaped bed.

PUMPING away.
Taya MOANS in ecstacy.

TAYA
That’s it, FUCK ME,
white boy.

BOBBY
You like it, don’t you,
BROWN SUGAR?

TAYA
YES! YES!

BOBBY
Who's your daddy NOW?

TAYA
FUCK me, DADDY --
ride me, HARD.

BOBBY
I’m gonna SHOOT MY LOAD.

TAYA
GOD, YES -- YES --

BOBBY
Dropping LOADS --

TAYA
Fill me UP, BABY --

BOBBY
FUCK ME baby JESUS!

They climax in an earth-shattering
crescendo of pleasure.

Hold each other for dear life.
SCREAMING with passion.

Silence.

He rolls off her.
Leans over. Lights a smoke.

BOBBY
Goddammit, woman.

TAYA
(out of breath)
I haven’t come like that --
(looks)
Light me one too?

He does. Hands it to her.
She takes a puff. Thinking.

TAYA
What the fuck is 'Brown Sugar?'

BOBBY
Rolling Stones song.
(inhales)
You’ve never heard BROWN SUGAR?

TAYA
I’m twenty-five.

BOBBY
Oh, right.
(beat)
It’s a compliment. Trust me.
(sings)
'I’m no schoolboy,
but I know what I like.'

He looks at her. Shy.
Eyes full of wonder.

BOBBY
I’ve never done --
sex talk like that before.

TAYA
You mean the
racial stereotype stuff?

BOBBY
Yeah.
(beat)
Fucking hot.

TAYA
(smiles)
If you’re good,
next time I’ll let you
use the N-word.
(beat)
'Fuck me baby Jesus?'

BOBBY
Catholic upbringing.
(looks at her)
Guilt makes me hard.

Bobby’s cell phone rings.
He reaches over, grabs it.

BOBBY
(into the phone)
Teen here.
(listens)
You’re shitting me.
(listens)
Of course, sure.
(listens)
We’ll be there in fifteen minutes.
(listens)
Uh -- we were just --
grabbing a bite to eat.

A woman’s voices SHRIEKS
from the room next door.

A bullwhip CRACKS.
Another SCREAM.

BOBBY
Of course not, no.
(listens)
Food’s really spicy.
(listens)
Yeah, right.
In your hat. See you soon.

He hangs up.
LEAPS out of bed.

BOBBY
That was the chief. Great news.
One of the bills from the bank
was spent at Venice Beach.

TAYA
Marked?

BOBBY
Yeah. Amateur hour.
Pros know not to take
what’s in the drawer.

TAYA
(starts getting dressed)
So we got ourselves some cowboys.

BOBBY
(pulls on his jeans)
Yeah, and unfortunately,
those are the most dangerous kind.

TAYA
(snaps on her shoulder holster)
Then let’s wrastle us some varmits --
(slides in her gun, wicked smile)
And then later we can
do some more ‘ropin’ and ridin.’

Show And Tell

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Monday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 16 of GUN-WILD, after trigger-happy runaway trust fund heiress Cam Clinch and rest of the gang has made their successful getaway from the bank robbery in Cam's father's tricked-out RV, they head over to Venice Beach, where they proceed to celebrate ... and learn that friends DO let friends share needles ...


EXT. VENICE BEACH - PARKING LOT - DAY
The Winnebago is in a small lot
at the north end of the boardwalk.

A handful of decrepit HIPPIE RV’S
sit, gathering dust.

JESUS WAS HOMELESS
proclaims a former school bus.

INT. WINNEBAGO - CONTINUOUS
A sleazy, go-go groove courtesy of
My Life With The Thrill Kill Kult
bumps and grinds on the stereo.
Blinds are drawn.

Hondo chops up a big mound of white powder
on the coffee table with a credit card.
The bag of money lies at his feet.

HONDO
Ready to go to Magic Mountain?

Net does the twist,
slides over to the table,
resplendent in bra and panties,
sloshing her tumbler of whiskey.

NET
Definite E-ticket, baby.

Hondo hands her a rolled-up C-note.
She bends down,
SNARFS up a big fat line.
He SMACKS her on the ass.

NET
(giggles)
OW.
(rubs her nose)
It BURNS.

HONDO
Pharmaceutical-grade
crystal methedrine, doll.
Gonna twist your tits GOOD.

NET
That’s fucking SPEED?

HONDO
Just until we score
some more booger sugar.
Emergency K-rations.

NET
Fucking meth --
(has brilliant idea)
Let’s do a SPEEDBALL.

ROD AND CAM
Walk into frame with their drinks.
Both completely lit.

Cam’s gun sticks out
of her waistband.

ROD
Did I hear the word 'speedball?'

HONDO
I didn’t know you partook
in the smack-iary arts.

ROD
Once in a blue moon.
Usually I just chip --
but fuck it,
it’s a special occasion.

CAM
I wanna do one, too.

Hondo pulls a black felt bag
out of his jacket. Unrolls it.

Slides out a large HYPODERMIC NEEDLE.
Holds it up. Smiles.

HONDO
Friends don’t let
friends share needles.

Net sits down next to him.
Puts her hand on his knee.

NET
Who said we’re FRIENDS?

They look at each other.
SCREAM with laughter.

CAM
That’s a -- big needle.

HONDO
All the better to eat you with.
(looks at Rod)
You should see my cock.

ROD
I’ll pass.

NET
You don’t know
what you’re missing.

CAM
(to Hondo and Net)
Stop hitting on my man, fuckos --
let’s get FUCKED UP.

HONDO
Your wish is my demand.

He pours some heroin onto a spoon.
Then a little meth.

Squirts a little water on it.
Lights it with his Bic.

THE MIXTURE
In the spoon BUBBLES.

THE NEEDLE
Slides into it.

THE PLUNGER
Pulls. The shaft fills
with swirling white magic.

HONDO
Holds the syringe like a surgeon.

YANKS the rubber tubing
around his forearm
with his other hand.
Show and tell.

HONDO
Ladies and gentlemen,
The Rolling Stoned.

And he PUSHES
the needle into his arm --

Liquid Lunch

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Friday. Hope it's a 'Good Friday' for you. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 15 of GUN-WILD, robbery-homicide dicks Bobby Teen and Taya Rolls head over to their favorite dive to drown their sorrows over the death of their fellow officers in the bank robbery ... and get a little 'up close and personal' ...


EXT. CHEZ JAY - LATE AFTERNOON
A small, crusty beach dive
just south of the Santa Monica pier.

We see Bobby and Taya’s sedan
parked in the gravel lot.

INT. CHEZ JAY - CONTINUOUS
Dark, dank. Sawdust on the floor.

The kind of place where
serious drinking gets done.
Food’s not bad, either.

A pair of GRIZZLED REGULARS
sit at the bar living their liquid lives.

A ball game plays softly over the bar.
The jukebox plays some
forgotten, gin-soaked classic.

Bobby and Taya sit at stools at the end.
He drains a bottle of beer.
Points at it, then the empty shot glass.

BOBBY
(to the bartender)
Another round?
(looks at Taya)
You okay?

Taya eyes him warily,
sips her Diet Coke.

TAYA
I’m fine, thanks.

The SMUG BARTENDER (40’s)
brings over another shot and beer.
Places them in front of Bobby.

SMUG BARTENDER
Here you go, officer.

Bobby eyes him coolly.
SLAMS down the shot.
Sips the beer.

BOBBY
Is that a cockroach
over there by the sink?
(shakes his head)
Be a shame to lose
that ‘C’ rating --

SMUG BARTENDER
Tell it to the owner.
I’m just a mixologist.

He turns around
and starts washing glasses.

BOBBY
Three officers
were KILLED today.
And I don’t appreciate
your ATTITUDE, pal.

TAYA
Bobby --

BOBBY
Shut up.
Drink your fucking COKE.

SMUG BARTENDER
(turns, stares)
THREE cops were killed?

BOBBY
Yeah, fucking bank job
right down the street.
Don’t you watch the news?

SMUG BARTENDER
Fuck, no. Too depressing.
I just watch the game.

Pause.

TAYA
There’s another shooting
on the news every day --

BOBBY
Economy’s in the fucking toilet.
Santa Monica used to be SAFE,
and now we’ve got these --
heathens running RIOT
on my home turf.
Fucking cops are DEAD.

Taya looks down.
A tear slides down her cheek.

TAYA
My parents were shot --
(starts to lose it)
Home invasion --

BOBBY
Holy shit.

She looks up.
Eyes glistening.

TAYA
Reason I joined the force.
(half smile)
Quit law school --

BOBBY
(to Smug)
How about a little rum
in the lady’s coke,
my good man.

Smug pulls down a bottle of 151.
Holds it over Taya’s glass
like a question.

She nods. He pours.
Then another shot for Bobby.
One for himself. Raises it.

SMUG BARTENDER
This one’s on the house.

They toast. Drink.
Taya winces.
Hers is STRONG.

BOBBY
(to Taya)
We’re gonna get these fuckers,
if it’s the last thing I do.
You with me?

TAYA
Fuck, yeah.

He leans over.
Kisses her on the cheek.

TAYA
(surprised she likes it)
What was -- that for?

BOBBY
I dunno. Felt like it.
(beat)
You’re kinda cute
when you’re distraught.
(off her stare)
Okay, I’m drunk.

Taya DRAINS her drink.
Wipes her mouth.

SLAMS the glass
down on the bar. CRACK.

TAYA
So let’s get a fucking room.

SMUG BARTENDER
(turns around)
I’m not hearing this --

BOBBY
What the fuck?

TAYA
You wanted to ball me
the first moment you
laid your eyes on me.

BOBBY
(turning red)
You’re crazy.

Taya stands.
Puts her purse
over her shoulder.

TAYA
You coming?

Who Wants Gum?

Happy Thursday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 14 of GUN-WILD, trigger-happy trust fund heiress Cam Clinch and her merry band of outlaws make their getaway after the bank robbery in a tricked-out RV ... where they proceed to party down ...

EXT. SUNSET BOULEVARD - DUSK
A giant WINNEBAGO roars downhill
around the swerving curves
heading west toward the beach.

INT. WINNEBAGO - MOVING - CONTINUOUS
Deluxe. The best that money can buy.
Two stories. Two bedrooms. Plasma screen.

Full bar. Overstuffed furniture.
Hot and cold running pleasure. On wheels.

Nasty go-go music on the sound system.
Something naughty, saucy by
My Life With The Thrill Kill Kult over --

The gang spread out in style.
Rod’s behind the wheel in a captain’s hat,
stogie clamped in his mouth.

Hondo rides shotgun.
Bopping his head to the music.

Smoking a giant spliff.
Hands it to Rod.

HONDO
Now this is a RIDE.

ROD
(takes a hit)
It’s like driving a fucking BOAT.
Probably gets three miles to the gallon.

Behind them, Cam and Net
twist and shake to the music.

HONDO
(watches the girls, to Rod)
Check it out.
All we need is a pole.

NET
(giggles)
I heard that!

CAM
(sings)
'She’s a hit and run heroine' --

NET
(glances at the TV)
Shit! Turn the music down!
Cam’s on TV!

ROD
(turns it down)
What the fuck?

ON THE TV
We see a shot of Cam at the bank,
in disguise. Sneering.

Aiming the can of spray paint
at the camera.

AN ANCHOR BABE
Sits at her news desk.
Faintly smiling into the camera.

ANCHOR BABE (V.O)
Security cameras captured footage of this woman
at the scene of a robbery earlier today
at the First Fisherman’s Bank of Santa Monica --
and, apparently at another heist
earlier that morning at a nearby 7-11.
Police believe there are four people in the gang --

Net turns the sound down.

CAM
Holy shit, I’m famous.

NET
You’re infamous, baby.

She goes to the bar.
Refreshes their cocktails.

ROD
(to Hondo)
We made the news already?
That was fast.

HONDO
(sings)
'We’re bad, we’re nationwide' --

NET
(to Rod)
We need TUNAGE.

ROD
(turns it up, to Hondo)
So how much did we get?

HONDO
Ask Trigger Happy.
She counted it.

NET
(hands drink to Cam)
So did you fuck
that little Mexican dude?

CAM
(takes a gulp)
Are you fucking kidding me?
He was like a father to me.

ROD
(over his shoulder, to Cam)
How much did we get, hot stuff?

CAM
(raises her glass)
Two hundred-twenty-three GRAND.

ROD
Holy shit.
(to Hondo)
What’s the split?

HONDO
I get half.
The three of you divide up the rest.

ROD
That’s -- over thirty thou. Nice.

HONDO
Whattya say we go to the beach
and CELEBRATE?

CAM
I thought we were going up the coast.

HONDO
Change of plan, Hunny-Bunny.
Cops are gonna be all over the highways.
We better lay low for a bit.

NET
LAY-low -- for a BITE.

ROD
I could go for some R-and-R.

CAM
Let’s PARTY HEARTY.

Hondo holds up a bag of white powder.
Evil grin.

HONDO
Who wants gum?

A Stiff Belt

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Wednesday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 13 of GUN-WILD, robbery-homicide detectives Bobby Teen and Taya Ralls watch the surveillance video of the bank robbery ... and then the tape from the Seven-Eleven robbery, and get a positive ID when they discover that trigger-happy runaway Cam Clinch was involved in both heists ...


INT. FIRST FISHERMAN’S BANK - DAY
It’s a zoo. A swarm of EMS TECHNICIANS.
CRIME SCENE WORKERS. COPS.

Two BODIES are carried out
the back door on gurneys.

BEAT COP
(to junior cop)
Keep the fucking media
OUT OF HERE.

Junior Cop races to the doorway,
where a swarm of REPORTERS
push on the glass, muffled shouting.

IN THE BANK PRESIDENT’S OFFICE
Bobby and Taya stand at his desk.

The BANK PRESIDENT (40),
puffy, pink-faced, sweating profusely,
fidgets in his chair.

PUFFY BANK PRESIDENT
I’m ashamed, so ashamed.

TAYA
It’s human nature.
If you didn’t hide,
you might have been killed.

PUFFY BANK PRESIDENT
I should have DONE something.
Two cops -- and the guard -- are DEAD.

Bobby vibrates with anger. Grief.
It’s all he can do to keep from
smashing this idiot in the face.

BOBBY
Given what went down here,
there’s nothing you could have done.
(ominous)
Take a deep breath.
(anger rising)
There IS something you can
do to help us, though.

PUFFY BANK PRESIDENT
Oh, yes -- anything, anything.

Bobby points to the bank of
small video monitors
in the cabinet across from his desk.

BOBBY
We’d like to see
the surveillance tape.

Puffy leaps out of his seat.
Goes to the VCR.

PUFFY BANK PRESIDENT
Of course, of course.

He PUNCHES a button.
The tape starts rewinding.

PUFFY BANK PRESIDENT
It’ll just take a sec.

TAYA
(hands him a card)
The department offers free counseling.
In case you -- have a hard time --

PUFFY BANK PRESIDENT
(takes it)
Th-thanks.

The machine CLICK-CLICKS.
He PUNCHES play.

ON A VIDEO MONITOR
We see Cam.

Disguised in her scarf,
cap and shades.

The robbery unfolds.
She PISTOL-WHIPS the guard.

Makes the high school girls
get on the floor.
STOMPS on their cell phones.

Hondo and Net BURST IN.
Point their shotguns, YELLING.

Cam aims the paint can at the camera.
The screen GOES BLACK.

Bobby and Taya exchange looks.

TAYA
There’s three of them.

BOBBY
Four. Somebody was waiting
outside with the getaway vehicle.

TAYA
Of course. Right.

BOBBY
Let’s watch the other tape.

Taya pulls the videocassette
out of her jacket pocket.
Hands it to Puffy.

TAYA
Would you please?

Puffy ejects the tape.
SHOVES in the new one.
PUNCHES play.

ON THE VIDEO MONITOR
We see Skinny Black Cashier
behind the register.

Cam points her pistol at him.
In the same disguise.

TAYA (O.C.)
It looks like the same woman.

Skinny glances into the camera.
Cam sees him, WHIRLS AROUND, BANG.
The screen GOES BLACK.

BOBBY
I think you’re right.
(to Bank President)
Can we have this?

PUFFY BANK PRESIDENT
Of course, of course.
(ejects tape, hands it to him)
Anything I can do to help --
law enforcement.

BOBBY
Thanks.
(beat)
I suggest you go home,
try to relax.
Maybe have a
stiff belt of something.

Puffy pulls a flask
out of his jacket pocket --

PUFFY BANK PRESIDENT
Don’t mind if I do.

Takes a long pull.
A grim smile.
Offers it to Taya.

TAYA
Sorry, on duty.

BOBBY
(takes the flask)
Don’t mind if I do --