Friday, January 20, 2012
Hey there, crime kids. Happy Friday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.
In chapter 5 of BABY HEISTER,
EXT. CHAPARRAL HIGH SCHOOL - DAY
Blinding bright sunlight.
Gorgeous mountains in the background.
A quaint, Spanish mission-style building
on well-tended grounds.
The exact opposite of ‘urban.’
STUDENTS stream into the building,
excited, chattering with each other
on the first day of the new school year.
They’re mostly fresh-scrubbed crunchy-granola types.
Kelsey appears at end of the walkway.
Looks out of place in her motorcycle jacket,
black jeans and boots.
She sighs. Stomps out her smoke.
Starts walking toward the building.
INT. CLASSROOM - DAY
A bright, nicely appointed classroom
filled with kids.
WELCOME BACK is written on the green blackboard
in white chalk in perfect cursive lettering. An omen.
MRS. POTTS (50’s), the teacher,
is a plump earth mother of the desert.
And she’s got the Native American jewelry to prove it.
Not to mention the ‘dream catcher’ earrings.
Good MORNING, class.
Welcome back to Chaparral High.
I know you’re all really excited
to be back for your senior year --
The door BANGS OPEN.
In walks Kelsey. Sullen.
Still wearing her shades.
She walks over. Hands Mrs. Potts a slip of paper.
Ah, yes --
(to the class)
Everyone, this is Kelsey Hazard.
She’s just transferred here from Venice Beach.
I hope you’ll all make her feel real welcome.
Why don’t you find a desk
and make yourself comfortable, Kelsey.
She nods. Starts walking
toward the back of the classroom.
A PAIR OF JOCKS
Watch her. Whisper to each other. Snickering.
One of them sticks his leg out to trip her.
Sees it out of the corner of her eye.
Approaches his desk.
STEPS on his foot with her steel-toed boot.
LINGERS a moment.
You should be more careful.
Someone could get HURT.
She PRESSES her full weight down,
steps off, and walks to an empty desk.
Mrs. Potts sees this. Gets upset.
Is that any way to greet a new student?
Shame on you. Apologize to Kelsey, RIGHT NOW.
(under her breath)
Not half as sorry as you’re gonna be
if you fuck with me again.
What was that, Kelsey? I didn’t hear you.
I SAID -- not half as sorry as you’re gonna be
if you FUCK with me again.
He tried to fucking TRIP me.
What kinda bullshit is that?
I don’t know what kind of language
you got away with at Venice High,
but NOBODY talks like that in MY classroom.
Do you understand?
Kelsey nods. Gives her a salute.
Won’t happen again.
A couple of BLAND-LOOKING CHEERLEADER TYPES
lean over. Whisper to each other. Sniff disapprovingly.
(takes a breath)
Okay. Homework assignment.
I’d like you all to write an essay tonight
about what you did on your summer vacation.
And then tomorrow you’ll read them aloud
in front of the class.
Doesn’t that sound like FUN?
INT. HIGH SCHOOL CORRIDOR - DAY
Kelsey walks down the corridor
weaving in and out of the stream of students.
Johnny Rodman and his HULKING FRIEND
appear in front of her. He SHOVES her.
What the FUCK were you trying to pull?
Do you know who the FUCK I am?
Judging by your limited brain power, your attire --
and the fact that you’re a rude fuck,
I’d say you’re REALLY popular,
maybe even the football captain.
Uh, yeah --
So let’s make a deal.
You stay the FUCK outta my face,
and I won’t fuck with yours.
Are you gonna let her GET AWAY with that?
A small crowd of students starts forming around them.
WHAT did you say to me?
You heard me.
Johnny GRABS her.
SHOVES her up against a locker.
NOBODY talks to me like that,
you fucking CUNT. GOT IT?
Kelsey sighs. Shakes her head sadly.
I warned you --
She grabs his hands,
THROWS them off her -- then,
almost faster than you can see,
she RABBIT-PUNCHES him in the face, SMACK.
He weaves a little.
Blood starts GUSHING out his nose.
Kelsey then POUNDS him in the stomach with a left,
then a right. He DOUBLES OVER in pain.
She reaches over. GRABS his hair.
Lifts his head. Looks him in the eye --
Hold on. Not quite done yet.
And KNEES him in the crotch.
He SQUEALS like an animal.
DROPS TO HIS KNEES.
Kelsey turns. Looks at his friend.
You want some?
Uh, no -- no.
Just then THE PRINCIPAL (40’s) appears.
A really big fella. Beyond pissed off.
Face beet-red with suburban indignation.
What’s going ON here?
What does it look like?
He was fucking with me,
so I fucked with him.
There is NO FIGHTING in MY SCHOOL.
I want to see both of you in my office, RIGHT NOW --