Wednesday, January 4, 2012
Geraldo Rivera, Eat Your Heart Out
Hey there, crime kids. Happy Hump Day. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.
In Chapter 22 of LITTLE GIRL BLUE, private eye Carrie Love and her family, along with homicide dick Bernie Keko, find a way to escape the intruders breaking into her home ... down into a secret basement left over from Prohibition ...
INT. MARGO'S MANSION - LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
Tolly stands next to the door. Looks at the holes in it.
Gotta go get Mick.
He turns, and RACES up the stairs to the second floor.
INT. SECOND FLOOR HALLWAY - CONTINUOUS
Tolly races into Carrie’s room. Sees Aldo’s dead body.
And Mick. All tied up.
Took you long enough.
(starts untying him)
Shut the fuck up.
They’ve all got guns. Goddamit.
He finishes. Mick’s free. Tolly takes his Uzi.
(raises the Uzi)
We go the fuck downstairs and get the bitches.
I thought he was -- here, upstairs.
Don’t look at me. I’ve been a little tied up.
INT. STUDY - CONTINUOUS
Bernie and Carrie dash into the room. Close the door.
Carrie. What happened?
We killed another one of them.
Got his Uzi. Have more firepower.
They’re now down to two.
And one of ‘em is tied up.
One of them was out there,
but we shot at them, and now he’s gone.
(looks at Carrie)
Okay, so what now?
Margo opens her eyes. Blinks. Looks around the room.
We could go down to the basement.
It’s probably a lot safer.
I told you, call me Margo.
I gave you enough Dilaudid to knock out A-Rod.
Honey, please. You should see my medicine cabinet.
What do you mean downstairs?
The door to the basement is at the other end of the house.
Your father never wanted you kids to know,
but there’s a secret door in this room
that leads down there -- left over from Prohibition.
There’s all kinds of tunnels down there.
And you’re just telling us this NOW?
I would have before --
(points at Layla)
But this one keeps pumping me full of drugs.
Excuse me for doing my job.
So how do we get down there?
Go to the bookcase. Pull out Moby Dick.
Carrie walks over to the bookcase.
Scans the titles. Finds it.
Pulls it out by the spine --
and the bookcase SLIDES open,
revealing a staircase going down.
Geraldo Rivera eat your heart out.
Why don’t you help Layla get mom into the wheelchair.
(to Bernie and Seth)
And you guys help me move the desk in front of the door.
It should buy us some time.
What can I do?
Why don’t you go down first, look around. Be our scout.
You know, if I wasn’t scared shitless,
I’d say this is the most fun I’ve had in years.
INT. UPSTAIRS BEDROOM - CONTINUOUS
Tolly and Mick stand in front of Porkpie’s dead body.
The fucking bitch.
And they got his gun. SHIT.
So what now?
Let’s go down the chimney --
(KA-CHINKS the gun magazine)
And deliver the presents.
INT. STUDY - CONTINUOUS
Carrie and Bernie push the desk against the door.
Layla wheels Margo to the steps.
Bernie races over. Grabs a handle.
Let’s carry her.
(grabs the other)
POUNDING on the door.
Hey, YOU IN THERE. Open the door RIGHT NOW,
or we’ll start SHOOTING.
Hurry up, let’s go.
How do you close it again?
There’s a switch on the wall.
(at the door)
Get THE FUCK out of my MOTHER’S HOUSE.
ON THE OTHER SIDE
Tolly looks at Mick.
I say we fuckin’ blast ‘em.
Let’s DO IT.
IN THE STUDY
The door ERUPTS in MACHINE GUN FIRE. Wood SPRAYS.
Move it, move it, move it --
Bernie and Seth carry Margo down the stairs.
Blue follows, then Layla. And Carrie.
The panel closes. THWUNK.
The top half of the door above the desk
is SHREDDED by bullets.
A confetti of wood SPRAYS into the room.
It falls over. BANG.
Tolly and Mick step up onto the desk.
Walk in the room.
What the fuck? GODDAMMIT.
They were just HERE. I HEARD her --
Where the fuck did they GO?
INT. SECURITY PATROL CAR - AT THAT MOMENT
Tip talks on his cell phone.
Yes, on the walkie talkie.
The woman said she and her family
were being attacked. It’s a HOME INVASION.
I told you, I DON’T KNOW the address.
She got cut off --
Just send some officers,
and we’ll figure it out when they get here.
He hangs up. Picks up the flask.
Takes a drink. Toasts.
Sleigh bells ring, are you listening --