Monday, October 31, 2011

Super-Sized



Hey there, crime kids. Happy Halloween. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 11 of ZOMBIE & JULIET, Rommy shows up for his romantic meeting with Jool at the ruins of the Disney Store in Times Square ... where unfortunately a mutant zombie has other plans for him. Then Jool shows up, and suffers a similar fate ...


EXT. TIMES SQUARE - DAY
Rommy stands in front of what
used to be the Disney Store.

Most of the signage is gone.
Now reads ‘Di_sey S_ore.’

And, underneath it,
HOT LESBIAN NURSES in flashing red neon.

A crowd of HOMELESS PEOPLE, HOOKERS
and various other FREAKS parade past him
like something out of a John Waters film.

ROMMY
(sings softly to himself)
Everybody wants some,
I want some TOO --

A VICIOUS-LOOKING HOMELESS MAN IN RAGS
approaches him.

ROMMY
Everybody wants some, how ‘bout YOU?
(sees him, steps back)
Excuse me.

VICIOUS-LOOKING HOMELESS MAN IN RAGS
Hungry. Need to -- EAT.

Rommy pulls out some change.
Offers it to him.

ROMMY
Here you go --

But Vicious-Looking ignores it.
He GRABS Rommy’s arm,
YANKS it to his mouth and CHOMPS on it.
Blood SQUIRTS in the air.

ROMMY
OW, HEY --

Suddenly Vicious-Looking’s head
EXPLODES IN A RED MIST,
drenching Rommy with blood and goo.

A pair of COMMANDOS IN BLACK
appear out of nowhere with shotguns.
Watch Vicious-Looking’s body
crumple into a heap.

ROMMY
Holy SHIT.

The Taller Commando
pulls out a scanner.
Waves it across Rommy.

It VIBRATES and HUMS.
He reads the meter.

TALLER COMMANDO
Infection level three.

BULKY COMMANDO
Already? DAMN.
Let’s bag ‘em, Marko.

ROMMY
Bag ‘em? No, WAIT.
I’m waiting for my --

In the blink of an eye Taller
WHIPS OUT a giant black body bag
from his backpack --
and Bulky SHOVES Rommy into it.

ROMMY
(muffled screams)
Hey, let me OUT OF HERE.
You can’t DO this.
I’m supposed to meet my --

Marko PUNCHES the bag -- THWUMP.
Silence.

MARKO
Don’t get mad. Get Glad.

BULKY COMMANDO
(looks at his watch)
Let’s drop him off right away.
If we hurry, we’ll have time
for a meat log afterward --

And they carry him away.

Just then Jool appears.
Out of breath.

She scans the passing crowd
of filth. No Rommy.
She looks at her watch. Puzzled.

JOOL
Where IS he?

A DISGUSTING, TOOTHLESS OBESE BAG LADY
passes by. Stops. Smells Jool.

Her hideous, deformed,
face a rictus of death.

DISGUSTING, TOOTHLESS OBESE BAG LADY
Mmm. Someone smells -- clean.

JOOL
(starts backing away)
Stay AWAY from me --

Disgusting gets in her face.
Pushes her into an alcove.

DISGUSTING, TOOTHLESS OBESE BAG LADY
Is that SOFT SOAP?

JOOL
I said GET AWAY FROM ME --

DISGUSTING, TOOTHLESS OBESE BAG LADY
Wanna NECK?

Jool LASHES out at her,
SWIPES her nails across Disgusting’s face.

Disgusting SCREAMS,
RAKES hers across Jool’s face.

Jool HEAD-BUTTS Disgusting,
who REELS back. Momentarily stunned.

Another PAIR OF COMMANDOS
appears and GRABS Disgusting.
One of them waves a scanner over her.

REPULSED COMMANDO
Holy fucking SHIT.
Infection level SIX.

Jool slides around them.
Then RUNS away.

FREAKED-OUT COMMANDO
Piece of shit’s gonna turn ANY MINUTE.

The commandos pull out ASSAULT RIFLES.
Stand back. Aim their weapons at Disgusting --
just as she starts MORPHING into
a hideous, screeching, chattering ZOMBIE.

They OPEN FIRE and SHRED
the repulsive creature into a
frappe’ of blood, bones, puss, brains and goo.

REPULSED COMMANDO
Talk about super-sized --

FREAKED-OUT COMMANDO
I’m gonna get sick.
(realizes)
Hey. Where’d the girl go?

REPULSED COMMANDO
Fuck it.
I’m not chasing after her.
They don’t pay us enough.
(looks at the mess)
I mean look, now we gotta
CLEAN UP this shit --

Friday, October 28, 2011

Night Of The Living Fuck



Hey there, crime kids. Happy fucking FRIDAY. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 10 of ZOMBIE & JULIET, Merk finds his long-lost infected sister Gaga at the mutant army revolutionaries' hideout in the burned-out ruins of New Jersey ... where he finally gets to find out if his vaccine works ... on Gaga.


EXT. NEW JERSEY WATERFRONT - STREET CORNER - NIGHT
Merk walks down the street looking at the ruins,
the decay, the rubble. Shakes his head sadly.

MERK
New Jersey and you, perfect together.
(beat)
Not.
(hears something)
What’s that?

He stops in front of the
boarded-up convenience store.

Puts his ear against the plywood covering
what used to be one of the windows. Listens.

INT. BOARDED-UP CONVENIENCE STORE - NIGHT
Brick, Reno, Monster, Hammer and Jag
are quietly hammering nails
into pieces of wood to cover the holes
that the zombies made during the attack.


It’s a rather odd sight, really,
seeing someone trying to hammer slowly.
Softly.

Gaga looks through a peephole in the wall.
Keeping an eye on what’s going on outside.

GAGA
I don’t fucking BELIEVE it.

BRICK
What?

GAGA
My BROTHER is out there --

RENO
The one with the vaccine?

GAGA
Yeah.

BRICK
Then LET HIM IN --

Gaga slides back a two-by-four
dead bolt across the door.

Then slowly opens the door.
Merk stands there. In shock.

MERK
Gaga?

GAGA
MERK --

MERK
I can’t believe I found you -- so quickly.

GAGA
Get your ass IN HERE.

He comes in.
She shuts and locks the door. They hug.

Brick walks up to Merk.
Offers his hand. They shake.

BRICK
The name’s Brick. Brick Cosmo.
I’m the leader of this here revolutionary cell.

MERK
(looks around the room, nods)
Cool. Cool.
(beat)
Kind of a small cell --

BRICK
Well, there used to be
about a hundred of us,
but most of our troops got wiped out
in The Battle Of The Meadowlands.
We then decided to set up camp
near where the newly-infected get dropped off.
Figured that would be the
easiest way to increase our ranks.
That’s why you found us so quickly.
Not too shabby, eh?

MERK
Got it --

BRICK
Your sister tells us
you’ve got a vaccine for the virus.

MERK
I do, but I haven’t tested it yet.

RENO
(suspicious)
Why didn’t you test it on yourself?

MERK
I’m not infected.

GAGA
You mean you left the republic to --

MERK
Hey. You’re my sister.

BRICK
How much do you have?

MERK
Enough for all of you.

BRICK
Then let’s get this show on the road
and see if this shit works.

Merk shrugs out of his backpack.
Opens one of the compartments.
Pulls out a small medical bag.

MERK
It worked on the lab rats --
(looks at Gaga)
Don’t worry.
They only bad reaction
would be getting the virus,
which you already have.

GAGA
Okay --

She sits.
Watches him prepare the injection.

He wipes her arm with an alcohol swab.
SQUIRTS the needle.

MERK
Just relax. This won’t hurt a bit.

She nods. Closes her eyes.
He taps lightly on her forearm.
Finds a vein. Injects her. She flinches.

MERK (CONT'D)
Okay. Give it a few minutes --
(to Brick)
So what was 'The Battle Of The Meadowlands?'

BRICK
We were having our first rally.
You know, getting organized.
It was really trippy,
like out of a John Carpenter movie.

MERK
Who’s John Carpenter?

BRICK
Not important.
Anyway, there were a couple hundred
SERIOUSLY infected living
in the bowels of the stadium,
I mean, we’re talking full-on
Night Of The Living FUCK. I
t was Twenty-Eight YEARS Later-time.

GAGA
Merk, MERK. LOOK --

Gaga holds up her hand.
The swelling and discoloration is gone.

Her face looks normal, too.
She beams with happiness.

MERK
It worked. It WORKED.
BRICK
(starts rolling up his sleeve)
Holy SHIT. You’re a fucking genius.

PUSH IN ON Merk. Smiling.
Holding up the syringe.

MERK
Hey. Friends DO
let friends share needles --

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Can You Feel The Love Tonight?



Happy Thursday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 9 of ZOMBIE & JULIET, Merk searches for his infected sister Gaga in the ruins of New Jersey. Meanwhile, Rommy climbs up Jool's building to her balcony, where he pledges his undying love ...


EXT. NEW JERSEY WATERFRONT - STREET CORNER - NIGHT
We recognize the area as the same place
where Gaga ended up earlier in the story.
Deserted. Ominously quiet.

Merk comes around a corner,
looking bruised and battered.
But okay. He holds a lantern.
Picks his way through the rubble.

MERK
Okay, now if I were newly-infected
seventeen-year-old-girl, where would I go?

EXT. CARLING’S MANSION - NIGHT
Rommy climbs up the drainpipe
on the exterior wall of the house.

He pulls himself up.
Feet search for a resting place.

They find it, on a narrow ledge.
He rests a moment. Winded.

ROMMY
This is great, Rommy. Just great.
You’re gonna get yourself killed.
I should have my head examined.

He takes a deep breath. Starts climbing.
Goes up, up, up -- until he’s
just below Jool’s balcony.

He carefully grips the pipe.
Keeps climbing. Sees her window.

ROMMY
Thank god.
Light from her yonder window --
(calls out)
JOOL.

Jool rushes out onto the balcony.
Sees him.

JOOL
ROMMY?

Rommy climbs over. Goes to her.
Takes her hands in his.

ROMMY
Hey, there. Miss me?

JOOL
You -- climbed up the building.

ROMMY
You are the sun, and the moon is --
really pissed off. I don’t know.
Something like that.

JOOL
Rommy, oh Rommy.
Wherefor art thou --
(beat)
At two in the morning.

ROMMY
My bike had a flat
and I had to walk.
(beat)
And running away from home
is a big decision, you know?
Kinda stressful.

JOOL
I can’t believe you’re here.

ROMMY
Neither can I.
That was SOME climb.

JOOL
Wait a minute.
You said 'running way from home?'

ROMMY
Okay, look. Here’s the deal.
Our families have forbidden us
from seeing each other.
Well, I say screw them.
Why do we have to do what THEY say?
We can still be together.

JOOL
You mean --

ROMMY
Come away with me.
I’ve got some money saved up --
(off her look)
I know it’s really sudden.
If you need time to think about it,
I totally understand.

JOOL
YES. YES. I will --

ROMMY
Really?

NIN (O.C.)
Jool, what are you doing out there?
You’ll catch your death of cold.

JOOL
Hold that thought.
I’ll be right back.

INT. JOOL’S BEDROOM - CONTINUOUS
Jool dashes over to Nin excitedly.

JOOL
It’s Rommy. He’s HERE.
He climbed up THE BUILDING.

NIN
Really?

JOOL
YES. Guard the door.
If Uncle Carling comes by,
tell him I’m asleep.

NIN
You got it.

JOOL
Thanks.

She DASHES back out onto --

THE BALCONY
Where Rommy stands waiting.

ROMMY
Everything okay?

JOOL
Yeah. That was my -- Nin.
She watches out for me.
But you better get out of here.
If my uncle finds you,
he’ll KILL you.

ROMMY
Okay.
What time should
we meet tomorrow?

JOOL
How about -- nine-AM?

ROMMY
(nods)
Nine-AM.

JOOL
Where should we meet?

ROMMY
Times Square. We’ll be safe there --
we can disappear in the crowd.
Meet me in front of the
old Disney store ruins.

JOOL
Isn’t that -- kinda hokey?
ROMMY
(sings, off-key)
Can you feel the love tonight --

JOOL
Okay, okay --
(grabs him)
Kiss me, you fool.

And they embrace.
Kiss passionately. Pull apart.

Rommy smiles.
Then suddenly looks freaked out.

JOOL
What’s wrong?

ROMMY
I just realized.
Now I’ve gotta climb back down --

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Plenty Of Fish



Hey there, crime kids. Happy Hump Day. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 8 of ZOMBIE & JULIET, downtown hipster Rommy's father forbids him from seeing uptown girl Jool, while Jool's father forbids her from seeing Rommy, which infuriates both. Meanwhile, Rommy's friend Merk gets himself ejected from the republic so he can find his missing infected sister Gaga ...


EXT. GREENWICH VILLAGE BROWNSTONE - NIGHT
A beautiful pre-war three-story single-residence
on a leafy side street. Elegant. Tasteful.
Like out of a time capsule.

INT. MONT RESIDENCE - STUDY - NIGHT
A manly, academic lair.
Bookcases crammed with classic books.
A fire CRACKLES in the hearth.

Classic jazz on the hi-fi.
Prints of classic art.
The joint is, in a word -- classic.

ORSON MONT (40’s) sits at his desk.
Good-looking with a shock of dark hair.

Professorial threads.
Eyes normally crinkled with good humor.
But not now. Not when they’ve been betrayed.

Seated before him is Rommy, beyond upset.

ROMMY
But Dad, that’s not FAIR.

ORSON
LIFE isn’t fair, Rommy. You know that.

I’m sorry, but NO son of mine will EVER
be associated with a KAPP.
Did you know they’re trying to
pass a law that anyone who gets infected
is to be SHOT ON SIGHT?
(beat)
And what about the election?
What do you think my chances would be
if word gets out that my son is dating a KAPP?
I’d have to disown you.
And you don’t want THAT, do you?
(off his stare)
Don’t worry son, it’s only puppy love.
You’re young. You’ll get over it.
There’s plenty of fish below fourteenth street.
(beat)
Now, if you’ll excuse me,
I’ve got a conference call.

He reaches over.
Starts dialing a number on the phone.

Rommy glares at his father.
Angry. Leaves the room.

IN THE CORRIDOR
Rommy shuts the door quietly.
Looks at it. Seething.

ROMMY
Just try and STOP me.

INT. CARLING’S MANSION - JOOL’S BEDROOM - NIGHT
Jool sits on her bed. Eyes on fire.
Royally pissed off

Carling sits next to her.
Tries to comfort her.

CARLING
You’ll see, honey. It’s for the best.
No niece of mine can be seen
associating with a Mont.
Did you know they’re trying to
pass a law that will give
the infected equal rights?

JOOL
But I LIKE him.
He’s kind, decent, sensitive --
nothing like the pompous jerks up here.
He cares about people, not MONEY.

CARLING
Now you’re talking crazy.
(sighs)
It’s just a schoolgirl crush.
Tate is much better for you.
He comes from a good family.

Jool stares at him, wild-eyed.

JOOL
But I don’t even KNOW him --

CARLING
It’s all been settled, darling.
The wedding has been set for next week --

Nin appears in the doorway. Arches an eyebrow.
Carling nods for her to come and take over.

He stands. She walks over.
Sits next to Jool. Tries to comfort her.

CARLING
Get some rest, my love.
You’ll feel better in the morning.
Nin here will take care of you.

He leaves. Jool looks at Nin.

JOOL
What am I going to do?
I want to go out with Rommy,
not marry somebody I don’t know.
And Uncle Carling said the marriage
is NEXT WEEK --

NIN
We’ll see what we can do about THAT.

JOOL
Really?

NIN
Of course. Ever since your parents --
(beat)
I’ve thought of you like a daughter.

They hug.

JOOL
So do I. I mean, you, like my mother.
(sighs)
What are we going to do?

NIN
I don’t know. But don’t worry.
There’s more than one way to skin a fat-cat.

EXT. DOWNTOWN MANHATTAN - THE WALL - NIGHT
A three-story-high wall of cinder blocks
now surrounds the city-state.

Coils of barbed wire on top.
A sentry station at each block with armed guards.
Searchlights sweep the area.

All is quiet. It’s past curfew.
Merk walks west toward
the end of Christopher Street.

Backpack loaded with supplies.
Face smeared with green makeup
for that ‘infected’ look.

He gets near the wall. Stops.
Looks up at the sentry box.

MERK
Oh, great soldier of the Republic,
what say you?

A spotlight WHOOSHES across the dark sky.
Lands on Merk, illuminating him in its bright light.

NASTY GUARD (O.C.)
HALT. Who goes there?

MERK
It is I, Merk Rowe, here to give myself up.
I have become infected with the virus
and wish to leave, sire.
I simply wish a safe exit without harm.

A giant net FLIES DOWN, trapping Merk.
The rope YANKS UP, and he’s lifted into the air.

MERK
Thank you, my lord.

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Be All You Can Be



Happy Tuesday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 7 of ZOMBIE & JULIET, infected revolutionary leader Brick Cosmo introduces Gaga to his terrorist cell at their secret headquarters, where she tells them about her brother Merk's vaccine for the virus ... just as they get attacked by vicious, mutant zombies ...


INT. ABANDONED CONVENIENCE STORE - NIGHT
Dark and dank. Windows boarded up.
A series of crude bunk beds line one wall.
On another, shelves filled with supplies.

Brick stands in front of his group of
INFECTED REVOLUTIONARIES.

There’s about a dozen of them,
in various stages of decay.
But none of them are too far-gone.

Standing next to him is Gaga.
Looking around nervously.

BRICK
This here’s Gaga.
She was just infected and thrown to the wolves.
And she’s decided to join the revolution.

The group starts murmuring.

MONSTER (30’S), big and burly, stands.
Stares at Gaga. Points a finger.

MONSTER
But she’s just a young GIRL.
How’s she supposed to FIGHT?

BRICK
So what was I supposed to do,
let the terminals GET her?
And besides, it’s strength in numbers, Monster.

RENO (20’s), a tough biker chick, sneers.

RENO
You gotta be fucking kidding me.
Last time I looked,
we’re not on Sesame Street.

MONSTER
I say we VOTE on it.
All that say NAY, raise your hands.

He SHOOTS his hand up.
Half the group raises their hands.

GAGA
Can I say something?

BRICK
Sure thing, little lady.
The floor is yours.

Gaga looks at the group.
Scared to death. But defiant.

GAGA
I’ll have you know that I’m a Mont, NOT a Kapp,
and that we think how you’ve been treated is unfair --

MONSTER
Big fucking deal.

GAGA
And -- that my brother has developed
a vaccine for the virus.

A hush falls over the room.

BRICK
Really? You didn’t tell me that.

GAGA
Well, what with escaping from
the zombies and stuff, it slipped my mind.

HAMMER (20’s), a dead ringer
for Ving Rhames chortles.

HAMMER
Bull-SHIT.
How do we know this fuckin’ vaccine WORKS?

GAGA
My brother’s a genius.
He’s second year pre-med,
and he’s only seventeen --

Something SLAMS against the front door.
BANG. BANG. BANG.

GAGA
What’s THAT?

MONSTER
INFECTED ATTACK --

The BANGING increases.
Every wall in the room starts SHAKING.

Everybody LEAPS up. Races around.
Grabs their squirt guns.

Brick grabs a pair of super-soakers.
Hands one to Gaga.

GAGA
How did they find us?

BRICK
Smell. In the last six months of infection,
they’re like bloodhounds.
And you’re fresh meat.

Monster RACES over to the wall.
Opens a peep-hole. Looks out.

BRICK
How many?

MONSTER
About a hundred --

GAGA
A HUNDRED?

MONSTER
Hell, we escaped from over a
thousand on the Jersey Shore --

GAGA
A THOUSAND?

MONSTER
Well, you know the Jersey Shore --

BRICK
Quick, everybody -- up to the ROOF.

The BANGING gets louder.
Red-clawed mutant hands start
punching HOLES in the walls.

Everybody RACES to the stairs
on the other side of the room.
Start RUNNING up the steps.

EXT. CONVENIENCE STORE ROOF - NIGHT
Brick, Gaga, Reno, Monster, Hammer
and the rest FLY out onto the roof.
Go to the sides. Look down.

AERIAL POV --
The building is surrounded by
A HOARD OF INFECTED ZOMBIES.

Ravenous, bug-eyed, screeching mutants
covered in lesions, dripping goo,
now scrabbling up the walls like spiders.

JAG, former military (30’s),
big and bulky scans the crowd.

JAG
Semper FUCK --

Brick raises his squirt gun. SCREAMS.

BRICK
Get in FORMATION, soldiers.
Three to a side, LET’S GO --

Four groups of three go to each side.
Start SPRAYING gasoline down on the attackers.

A pair of SCREAMING INFECTEDS come over the wall.
Jag SPRAYS them. They EXPLODE in a RED MIST -- POP.

JAG
Be all you CAN be --

Another ZOMBIE climbs over the wall. Reaches for Reno.
She NAILS him. He EXPLODES, drenching her with goo.

RENO
Goddammit, I just did my HAIR --

A SLOBBERING ZOMBIE flies up over the side.
Gaga NAILS him with a stream of gas in the chest.
A giant HOLE opens up, his GUTS slide out -- and he POPS.

GAGA
It’s like a videogame --

MONSTER
I’m getting low on gas --

RENO
So am I --

BRICK
(to Hammer)
Ready for a little FIRE, scarecrow?

Hammer looks at Brick,
strapped into a flamethrower.

HAMMER
It’s Hammer-time --

He FLICKS IT ON and a SPRAY OF FIRE SHOOTS OUT.
He SWEEPS it down across the side of the building.

It HITS them -- and they EXPLODE
in SCREAMING FIREBALLS OF BLACK SMOKE.

Hammer RACES around the roof,
SPRAYING fire down the walls, killing the rest,
the air now thick with smoke.

BRICK
Everybody DOWN. Cover your MOUTHS --

They all get down,
pull bandannas up over their noses.

GAGA
It smells like -- shit.

BRICK
No shit. And breathing it will kill you.
It’s the virus, in a gaseous state.

HAMMER
That’s why we only use fire as a last resort.

BRICK
(to Gaga)
About that vaccine.
Where does your brother live?

GAGA
Like I said, we’re Monts. Downtown.
In the Village.

BRICK
Perfect. That’s where we’re gonna enter the republic.

GAGA
Are we going over the wall?

BRICK
Don’t be silly. Too many armed guards.
(beat)
We’re going in through the Holland Tunnel.

GAGA
That’s GENIUS --

BRICK
Hey. How do you think I got to be the leader?
My good looks?

Monday, October 24, 2011

Uptown Girl



Hey there, crime kids. Happy Monday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 6 of ZOMBIE & JULIET, downtown hipster Rommy Mont declares his undying love for uptown girl Jool Kapp to his best friend Merk Rowe, who discovers that his sister Gaga has become infected and ejected from the republic. Rommy vows to go visit Jool, and Merk vows to find Gaga, and give her the vacine he's developed ...


INT. NEIGHBORHOOD BAR - NIGHT
One of those classic, run-down,
shitty neighborhood joints
where the locals hang out.

Rommy and Merk sit at dark table
in the back with a pitcher of beer.
Eating peanuts.

ROMMY
She’s amazing.
I’ve never met a girl that’s
so smart, funny, confident -- ALIVE.
(beat)
And STACKED.

MERK
So what’s where you disappeared.

ROMMY
Yeah. There’s just one problem.

MERK
What’s that?

ROMMY
Can you keep a secret?

MERK
I can, but it might keep me.

ROMMY
What?
You’re always talking in riddles.

Merk smiles.
CRACKS open a peanut.

MERK
You quarrel with someone
for cracking nuts
because you have hazel eyes.

ROMMY
Yeah. Stuff like that.
How do you THINK of that?

MERK
That’s actually from the Bard.

ROMMY
Okay, okay -- enough.
The thing is --
(sighs)
Jool’s a KAPP.

MERK
WHAT? Really?

A phone behind the bar RINGS.
The BARTENDER answers it.

ROMMY
Yeah. And she said she probably
couldn’t come downtown again
because she was gonna
catch hell from her uncle.

MERK
So what are you going to do?

ROMMY
I’m gonna convince my father
that she’s different, she’s cool --
and not like your typical Kapp --
(beat)
And then I’m gonna uptown
and see her again.

Bartender calls out to Merk.
Holds up the receiver.

BARTENDER
Hey, Merk -- phone’s for you.

MERK
(looks)
Thanks.
(to Rommy)
Be right back.

He gets up.
Goes to the bar.
Takes the phone. Listens.

Rommy pours another beer.
Takes a sip. Lost in thought.

Merk comes rushing back.
Looks wild-eyed.

MERK
My sister got infected.
She’s been ejected
from the republic --

ROMMY
What the hell?
How did you --

MERK
My father.
They’ve been looking
for me all day,
but couldn’t find me
because of the street fair --

ROMMY
Holy shit.

MERK
No shit.
I gotta go home.
C’mon, come walk with me.

EXT. BLEECKER STREET - NIGHT
The fair’s still going full-steam.
Merk and Rommy go down the sidewalk,
avoiding the crowd.

MERK
I’m going to go find her, Rommy.
Give her the vaccine.

ROMMY
Are you crazy?
Do you know how
dangerous that is?

MERK
She’s my twin, Rommy.
I have to.
(beat)
I’m going to give you the formula.
In case something happens to me.
It’ll be safe with you.
I trust you.

ROMMY
Okay.
So what’s the plan?

MERK
Simple.
Find my sister,
save her life,
bring her home,
and then save mankind.

ROMMY
Works for me --

Friday, October 21, 2011

Busted



Hey there, crime kids. Happy Friday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 5 of ZOMBIE & JULIET, millionaire Carling Kapp tries to fix up his daughter Jool with an arranged marriage, which she rejects, as she only has eyes for Rommy ...


INT. CARLING’S MANSION - BALLROOM - NIGHT
The crowd has thinned out.

Carling stands chatting with TATE CANYON (21).
Incredibly good-looking.

Natty in cool threads. Oozing charisma.
Great with the ladies. And a real mench.

CARLING
I don’t know where she is, Tate.
I haven’t seen her all night.

TATE
That’s a shame.
I’ve been dying to meet her.
Maybe another time --

CARLING
Would you please
excuse me a moment?
I’ll be right back.

TATE
Of course.

Carling walks over to the bar
where Nin is getting a drink.

CARLING
Have you seen Jool?
I’ve been looking for her
all evening.

NIN
(turns white)
No, I haven’t.

CARLING
You’re lying, Nin.
I can always tell.
Out with it.

NIN
She -- went out.

CARLING
Where did she go?

NIN
To a -- street fair.

CARLING
A street fair?
Where on EARTH is there
a street fair tonight?

NIN
Uh -- downtown.

CARLING
DOWNTOWN?
She went DOWNTOWN?
Why on EARTH would she
want to go THERE?

NIN
Carling, she’s young. Curious.
It’s only natural that she’d
want to see how other people live.
(beat)
Think of it like -- anthropology.

CARLING
But it’s not SAFE down there.

NIN
Nonsense.
She took a cab.
And her gun.

CARLING
(sees something)
Jool. There you are --

IN THE DOORWAY
Stands Jool.
Carrying her shoes in her hand.
Trying to sneak in quietly. Busted.

JOOL
Uncle Carling.

CARLING
Come over here.
There’s someone
I want you to meet.

Jool walks over.
Looks at Tate.
Smiles blandly.

CARLING
I present to you my niece, Juliet.

JOOL
Jool.

TATE
You said she was a goddess --
(takes her hand, kisses it)
Did my heart love 'til now?
Forswear its sight --
for I never saw true beauty
until this night.

She pulls her hand away.
NOT interested.

JOOL
I’m like, so sure.
Gag me with
Bartlett's Quotations.

CARLING
(oblivious)
I’m sure the two of you
are going to be
quite happy together.

JOOL
Excuse me?

CARLING
My dear, this is the man
you’re going to marry.

JOOL
I don’t understand.

CARLING
Tate is the heir
to the Canyon dynasty.
You should be honored.
The Times named him
one of the 'ten most eligible
bachelors in the republic.'
(big smile)
Nothing but the best for my niece --

Jool stares at Carling.
Then Tate. Speechless.

Then at Nin.
Who gives her a
‘it’s news to me’ look.

CARLING
My dear, are you feeling alright?
You look pale.

JOOL
On what planet do you expect me
to marry THAT yuppie gas-bag?
(to Tate)
No offense.
She turns on her heel,
and quickly MARCHES out of the room.

CARLING
What the -- ?
(calls after her)
You come back here THIS INSTANT,
young lady.

NIN
Calm down.
I’ll go talk to her.

CARLING
Do that.

Nin nods. Rushes off.
Carling looks at Tate. Sighs.

CARLING
I’m dreadfully sorry.
I guess I should have briefed her.

PUSH IN on Tate’s face.
His look of disappointment.

TATE
Was it something I said?

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Eat Shit And Melt



Happy Thursday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 4 of ZOMBIE & JULIET, after being ejected from The Republic of Manhattan, Gaga gets chased by rabid, mutant zombies through the streets of Hoboken ... and gets rescued by Brick Cosmo, 'infected revolutionary soldier' ...


EXT. NEW JERSEY - CITY STREET - NIGHT
Across the river, what once was a
bustling berg is now a burned-out shell.
In ruins. A deserted slum.

GAGA comes RUNNING
down the street.

Pursued by the trio of
zombies we saw earlier.
They start GAINING on her.

She turns, DUCKS down an alley.
Huffing and panting.

EXT. ALLEY - NIGHT
Gaga RUNS down the alley,
the zombies in hot pursuit.

She sees a door.
YANKS it open.
RUNS inside.

The zombies follow.

INT. ABANDONED RESTAURANT - KITCHEN - NIGHT
Gaga TEARS ASS through the kitchen,
GRABBING pots and pans and
HURLING them at the zombies.

But they BOUNCE off them
and CLANG onto the floor.
She RUNS into --

INT. ABANDONED RESTAURANT - MAIN ROOM - NIGHT
Dark. Eerie. Chairs up on tables.
Cobwebs. Rats SCURRY about.

Gaga DASHES through the room.
JUMPS under a table and hides.

The zombies RACE into the room.
Stop. Look around. Sniffing.

The front door FLIES OPEN.
A tall, rugged GUY (40’s) walks in.
Dead ringer for Bruce Campbell.

He holds a giant
‘super-soaker’ squirt gun.

Meet BRICK COSMO,
revolutionary warrior.

BRICK
Eat shit and MELT,
mother-undead-FUCKERS.

He SPRAYS them
with a brown liquid.

The zombies fall back, SCREAMING.
Their skin BUBBLES in a WHITE MIST.

They HIT the ground
and DISSOLVE into a
gooey puddle of pulp and bones.

BRICK
Disgusting.

Brick puts his weapon down.
Steps around it.

BRICK
You can come out now.
The coast is clear.

GAGA (O.C.)
Who-who are you?

BRICK
Brick Cosmo, soldier in
the infected revolutionary army.
C’mon out. I won’t hurt you.
(sings)
Buffalo soldier, dreadlock rasta --

Gaga comes out from under the table.
Sees the zombie puddle.

GAGA
Thanks --
(gulps)
How did you do that?

BRICK
(holds up the gun)
Believe it or not, gasoline.
Takes ‘em out faster than
you can say 'pay at the pump.'

GAGA
Why not just shoot them?

BRICK
We’re kinda low
on bullets these days.

GAGA
You said --
'infected revolutionary army?'

BRICK
Yes, ma’am.
The revolution WON’T be televised --
but we’re still gonna kick ass.
(looks her over)
You must be a newbie.
Wanna enlist?
We offer room, board
and zombie protection.

GAGA
Yeah, sure.
What do I need to do?

BRICK
Just follow me
to our secret headquarters,
and we’ll fill you in.

EXT. ABANDONED CITY STREET - NIGHT
Brick leads Gaga down the ruined avenue.

BRICK
Keep your eyes peeled.
These mofos can MOVE.

GAGA
So how many are there
in your revolutionary army?

BRICK
Now that you’re on board, six.
But that’s just our cell.
There’s TONS of us out here,
and we’re getting ready to
rock the fucking Casbah.

GAGA
What’s your plan?

BRICK
Ever seen 'Escape From New York?'

GAGA
Yeah, sure. I love old movies.

BRICK
Well, it’s kinda the reverse --

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

What Happens In Greenwich Village, Stays In Greenwich Village



Hey there, crime kids. Happy Hump Day. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 3 of ZOMBIE & JULIET, uptown heiress Jool Kapp travels downtown to see the street fair. Meanwhile, downtown hipster Rommy Mont hangs with his best friend Merk Rowe, who reveals he's found a cure for the virus -- but when Rommy sees Jool, he only has eyes for her.


EXT. FIFTH AVENUE - NIGHT
A PEDAL-RICKSHAW CAB cruises south down Fifth Avenue,
passes giant mansions. Airbrushed office buildings.

Tony boutiques. We see other pedal-cabs,
and also tons of PEOPLE ON BICYCLES.

INT. RICKSHAW CAB - MOVING - NIGHT
Jool looks out the window, full of anticipation.

THE RICKSHAW CAB
Gets to the border of midtown.
Starts passing through --

EXT. TIMES SQUARE - NIGHT
Once gentrified, the infamous avenue
has returned to it’s previous squalor.

All of the fancy stores and restaurants
are now home to peep shows, strip clubs,
bars and whore houses.

The Gap sign now reads THE GASH.
We see signs for CRATE AND ASSHOLE.
STARFUCKS. JAMBA COOZE. S&M’S. HOOTERS.

JOOL
Looks out the window.
Silently gasps at the motley crew of
STREET TRASH milling about.

THE RICKSHAW CAB
Continues on downtown.

The streets now lined with ancient BROWNSTONES.
A STREET VENDOR hawks his wares.

The people look young, hip.
A bohemian kid plays a guitar on the corner.

JOOL
Smiles. Likes what she sees.

JOOL
He’s cute.

EXT. GREENWICH VILLAGE - BLEECKER STREET - NIGHT
A STREET FAIR in full-swing. Rows of booths and stalls
filled with food from around the world.

A ROCK BAND plays on a raised platform.
A throng of SMILING PARTIERS mill about.

CAMERA finds two YOUNG GUYS (17)
walking through the fair. Deep in conversation.

YOUNG GUY
I’m not ready yet, Merk. It’s too soon.

Meet ROMMY MONT.
Nice guy, but awkward. Shy.

Always deep in thought.
Looks wounded. Haunted.

One of those borderline types.
Could transcend ‘nerd’ -- if he’d only try.

Think Ryan Gosling.
Divided by Jessie Eisenberg.
With a dash of Joseph Gordon-Levitt.

Dressed a bit too geeky in
pressed jeans and a sweater vest.
Longish hair in search of a style.

MERK
Too soon? It’s been over a year.
You need to move on.
You’ve elevated the grieving
process into an art form.
You need to get laid, my good man.
(waves his hand at the throng)
I mean, look at this sea of female flesh.
All you need to do is dive in.

Meet MERK ROWE, Rommy’s best friend,
already pre-med. Smart. Funny.
The ultimate wing-man.

Tall and thin, with eyes that twinkle with mischief.
Rakish in a vintage Ramones T.

ROMMY
I don’t see the point. Why even try?
We’ll never get off this island,
and until there’s a cure for the virus --
(gestures)
You’re just setting yourself up for disappointment.

MERK
(low)
Can you keep a secret?

ROMMY
What?

MERK
I was working at the school lab last night --
(looks around)
And I think I discovered something.

ROMMY
What?

MERK
A cure.

ROMMY
For the VIRUS?

MERK
Shhhh --
(beat)
Yeah. I just need to try it on
someone who’s infected.

ROMMY
You’re not shitting me?

MERK
I shit you not, my lord.

Rommy stops in his tracks.
Sees something. Stares.

MERK
This is the part where
you call me a genius.
(sees him staring)
What are you looking at?
(beat)
Hello, Earth to Rommy, Earth to Rommy.
Come in, come in. We’ve lost your signal.
(beat)
HELLO.

IN THE CROWD
We see JOOL, drifting down the street toward them.
In complete delight with all the sights,
sounds and smells of the fair.

Taking pictures with her camera.
In her element.

She throws some money in a hat
in front of a STREET MUSICIAN.

Goes to a vendor. Buys a bouquet flowers.
Sniffs them. Then buys a piece chocolate from another.
Eats it, savoring it.

MERK
Nudges Rommy.

MERK
Look. Someone dropped a hundred-dollar bill
on the sidewalk.

ROMMY
(still staring)
That’s nice.

MERK
Okay. You just stand there like a robot,
and I’m gonna go get another beer.

He walks away, shaking his head.
Jool comes into view.

Sees Rommy gaping at her.
Stops. Looks at him. Fake-angry.

JOOL
Drool much?
Didn’t your mother teach you
it’s not polite to stare?

ROMMY
I’m -- sorry.

JOOL
It’s okay. Just busting your chops.

He comes out of his trance.
Faint hint of a smile.

ROMMY
Color me busted.

JOOL
(offers hand to shake)
Jool.

ROMMY
(shakes)
Rommy. Nice to meet you.
(beat)
Pretty name.

They stop shaking.
But don’t let go.
If this were animated,
we’d see an electric spark CRACKLE.

JOOL
It’s short for Juliet,
but I HATE that name. It’s so corny.
(beat)
Is Rommy short for -- Romeo?

ROMMY
Worse. Short for Romulus. Father’s a Trekkie.

They realize. Let go. An awkward moment. Then --

ROMMY
So you’re, uh -- enjoying the street fair?

JOOL
Yeah, it’s AMAZING.
We don’t have them where I come from.
It’s like another WORLD.

He looks at her expensive,
understated clothing. Realizes.

ROMMY
You’re -- from uptown?

JOOL
Yeah. But I think I like it better downtown.

ROMMY
You’re a Kapp --

JOOL
Shhh. Don’t tell anyone.
What happens in Greenwich Village,
stays in Greenwich Village.

Pause.

ROMMY
You have -- the most beautiful eyes.

JOOL
(looks closely)
Yours are sad. Wounded.
Like you’ve been -
(beat)
I’m sorry. That was stupid.
I do that all the time.
I get too personal too quickly --
talk without thinking.
Some people say I talk too MUCH.
Oh, look -- there’s Chatty Kathy.

ROMMY
That’s okay. I like to talk.
I mean, talking’s good.
If people would just talk to each other,
the world would be a --
(beat)
Would you like to get some ice cream?
(beat)
Sit and talk?

JOOL
I’d like that.

She leans in.
Kisses him on the cheek.

Then pulls away. Surveys the damage.
Rommy’s face flushes a deep red.

ROMMY
Wh-what was that for?

JOOL
Just curious.
(beat)
I’ve never seen a boy blush like that.

PUSH IN ON Rommy’s face. Heart racing.

ROMMY
So, uh -- what’s your favorite flavor?

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Drill, Baby, Drill



Happy Tuesday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 2 of ZOMBIE & JULIET, wealthy power broker Carling Kapp hosts a lavish party at his tony Fifth Avenue mansion. Meanwhile, upstairs, his daughter Jool tells her nanny Nin that she would rather die than make an appearance at the party. She'd rather go downtown to the street fair ... and hang out with 'real people' ...


INT. NEWS STUDIO - NIGHT
A GLOSSY, AIRBRUSHED ANCHORMAN
sits behind his desk with a
PERT, SMILING BLONDE ANCHORWOMAN.

SMILING BLOND ANCHORWOMAN
Drilling commenced in Harlem today,
where officials believe there
might be enough oil to keep
government vehicles in operation
for another few years --
and for private citizens
that can afford
one-hundred dollars a gallon.
(shakes her head)
I can remember when it was ten bucks --

GLOSSY, AIRBRUSHED ANCHORMAN
This just in.
The Department of Health Control
estimates that there still might be
several thousand Infected-Americans
in the republic.
(looks at Smiling)
I don’t know about you,
but that reward money
is sure an incentive --

SMILING BLOND ANCHORWOMAN
Tell me about it.
I turned in my mother-in-law,
and it paid for my vacation to Central Park.

They both laugh.
Glossy suddenly looks serious.

GLOSSY, AIRBRUSHED ANCHORMAN
In other news, tonight in Times Square,
another fight broke out
between the Monts and Kapps.
Fortunately, police officers arrived
and broke up the fight
before anyone was badly injured.

SMILING BLOND ANCHORWOMAN
Due to a recent rash of such incidents,
Republic of Manhattan president Don Gotti
has declared that anyone involved in
future acts of violence will be shot on sight.

GLOSSY, AIRBRUSHED ANCHORMAN
I must say, Nobu --
it’s a sad state of affairs
to have this trouble on the
eve of the tenth of October weekend.
What a way to start celebrating
the birth our republic --

NOBU
Indeed, Brock --
(beat)
We now go to Paul David Brazill,
live at The Madison Square Coliseum,
where the Ultimate Extreme Gladiator finals
are just getting underway.
Tonight, it’s black vs. white
in a fight to the death.

BROCK
Again?

The look at each other. Big smiles.

EXT. UPPER EAST SIDE - MANSION - NIGHT
A tony, upper-crust monstrosity on upper Fifth Avenue.
Three stories of vulgarity. Takes up the whole block.
Nothing succeeds like excess.

A line stretch limos spill out
DIGNITARIES, CELEBRITIES and other
SUPER-RICH ASSHOLES who then walk up
the red carpet to the entrance with their BODYGUARDS.

INT. MANSION - GRAND BALLROOM - NIGHT
Like something out of Versailles.
GUESTS mingle, take drinks and
finger sandwiches from SERVANTS.

Onstage, GREEN DAY plays for the crowd.
In their 60’s, they still rock.

CAMERA finds CARLING KAPP (50’),
scion of the family.

Distinguished good looks. Big smile.
You’d smile, too if you lived here.
He charms a group standing around him.

CARLING
My dear, Harlem HAD to be burned down.
We have BIG PLANS for the area.

ANOREXIC SOCIETY MATRON
Oh? And what exactly ARE
your plans, my dear Carling?

CARLING
A country club RESORT --
surrounding a LAKE.

BIG, FAT CAPITALIST PIG
Astounding, my dear boy.
And I assume membership will be restricted?

CARLING
But of course --
(sips his champagne)
Of course, given that our construction methods
have become rather medieval as of late,
it will take some time --

BIG, FAT CAPITALIST PIG
Quite. But first we have to pillage all the OIL.

CARLING
(smiles, raises his glass)
Drill, baby, drill.

They all LAUGH.

INT. UPSTAIRS BEDROOM - NIGHT
Part of a lux suite of rooms on an upper floor.
Very grand. Tasteful. Tons of books.
A big, old globe.

Old-school computer with a giant monitor.
A big record library.

Sitting on the bed is JOOL KAPP (17),
Carling’s niece.

Very pretty, but doesn’t work it.
No makeup. Hair in a tomboyish bob.
Smart. Feisty. Strong. Tons of self-will.

Think a young Kate Hepburn.
With a dash of Ellen Page.
Rakish in slacks, fitted jacket and boots.

JOOL
But I don’t want to go down there.
I can’t stand those people.
They’re all phonies.
My IQ goes down a point
every minute I’m around them.
All they care about is
money, class, privilege.
They have no conception about
what’s really important in life.

Standing nearby is NIN (40’s),
Jool’s nanny since childhood.
Smart. Sleek. Very Emma Peel.
Now Jool’s advisor. Confidant.

NIN
But your Uncle Carling expects you
to make an appearance.

JOOL
Tough toenails.
I’m just a trophy to him.
Something to show off.

NIN
Can’t you just humor him?

JOOL
No, I can’t. I’m a person, Nin --
not a THING.
(off her look)
And I’m tired of being cooped up in this mausoleum.
I feel trapped. Like a bird in a gilded cage.
I want to GO OUT. See the world. Explore.

NIN
Out? Where?
You know the streets aren’t safe.

JOOL
Fiddlesticks. I’m a big girl.
I can take of myself.

NIN
Oh, you can, can you.
And where do you plan on going?

JOOL
Downtown.

NIN
Why on earth would you
want to go downtown?

JOOL
There’s a big Tenth of October
street fair tonight, totally old-school.
Food, drink, live music,
you know -- a street fair.

NIN
Ah, yes. I’ve read about those --

JOOL
I can take a cab
and have them wait for me.
It’ll totally be safe.
And I won’t stay long. I promise.
I just wanna see regular people having FUN.
What’s so wrong about that?

NIN
Kind of like -- anthropology.

JOOL
Exactly. So can I go? Please?

NIN
You feel very strongly about this --
(beat)
Go. Have fun.
But be back by eleven, okay?

JOOL
YES. Thank you, Nin. THANK YOU.
(clasps her hands)
Omigod, I’m so excited I could plotz.

NIN
I expect a full report when you get back.
(beat)
Oh. And don’t forget your gun.

JOOL
Of course not.

She walks over to her desk.
Opens a drawer.

Pulls out a SIG SAUER MOSQUITO.
RACKS out the clip. Checks it.

SHOVES it back in, CHINK.
Puts it her purse.
Looks at Nin. Smiles brightly.

JOOL
Don’t leave home without it.

Monday, October 17, 2011

Shoot On Sight



Hey there, crime kids. Happy Monday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

Today I've got a special treat for you. Late last year I decided to try my hand at something new, and I wrote a horror screenplay. (In fact, this was the first of three.) The idea was simple, take a story like ROMEO & JULIET, and add zombies ... and hence ZOMBIE & JULIET was born. After a false start with the producer of THE LORD OF THE RINGS -- he ended up being too busy to fully develop the project, as he currently has two movies in production -- it's now making the rounds in Hollywood. I've been hesitant to post this one, but what the hell. My fans deserve it. Imagine 28 DAYS LATER meets ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK meets CLUELESS, and you'll get the idea.

So, without further adieu, I present to you Chapter 1 of ZOMBIE & JULIET, where we travel to the Republic of Manhattan, a city state that exists somewhere in the not-too-distant future, where a high school class gets interrupted ... by a zombie infection.


INT. CLASSROOM - DAY
Your standard public high school joint.
Pale puke walls.

A giant flat-screen monitor
hangs where the blackboard would normally be.
The screen reads THE REPUBLIC OF MANHATTAN.

A calendar on the wall reads 2033.
A flag on the wall has a series of
red, white and blue stripes. No stars.

The TEACHER (30’s),
a hip-looking public radio kinda guy
is lecturing the class.
Sits on the front edge of his desk.

HIP-LOOKING TEACHER
The outbreak began in 2023
when the HIV virus mutated
into something stronger, deadlier,
the HIZ virus,
which also kills you slowly --
but doesn’t let you die.
Within six months,
the whole planet was infected --

A YOUNG HOTTIE in the back row
raises her hand. SNAPS gum.

YOUNG HOTTIE
Why don’t the zombies die, Mr. Domino?

MR. DOMINO
We don’t say 'zombies,' Seven.
That’s like using the N-word.
They prefer to be called 'Infected-Americans' --
(beat)
It mirrors the HIV virus.
The symptoms aren’t that bad
for the first six months,
but then sometime during the next few months,
the infection becomes full-blown,
the person dies, and is reborn,
so to speak -- as a ravenous mutant.
(sighs)
But unfortunately, sometimes
it progress MUCH more quickly.

He PUNCHES a remote.
We now see a map of
the Republic on the screen.

It’s been divided into
northern and southern territories
with a neutral zone between them.

MR. DOMINO
Our founding fathers erected a wall
around the island to stem the outbreak,
and christened the new land
The Republic of Manhattan.
But there was a power struggle for control --
so it was decided that the Kapp family
would control the Northern half of the republic --
and the Mont family the southern half --
with Times Square becoming a neutral zone
between the two --

SEVEN
Separate but equal --

MR. DOMINO
Ten points for Seven.
(beat)
The Monts and Kapps have existed
peacefully together for years,
but they’re now at odds over
a controversial piece of legislation
that the Kapps have been trying to pass --
the 'shoot on sight bill.'

WISE-ASS KID
I saw that on the news.
They want to kill anyone who’s infected.

MR. DOMINO
What do you think about that?
Is it fair?

WISE-ASS KID
Who gives a shit about FAIR?
I say kill the fuckers.
I don’t wanna get infected --

MR. DOMINO
But what about human rights?
Why not just quarantine them
while we look for a cure?

A SICK-LOOKING GIRL
sitting next to Seven rubs her nose.
HACKS a horrible-sounding COUGH.

SEVEN
Ew. Don’t you DARE
fucking cough on me, FREAK.

MR. DOMINO
Are you feeling okay, Gaga?
Would you like to go see the nurse?

GAGA
I’m fine, Mr. Domino. I’m just --

She suddenly PROJECTILE VOMITS
a geyser of RED-BROWN PUKE
all over Seven, who starts SCREAMING.

The classroom door EXPLODES off its hinges,
and a dozen PARAMILITARY TROOPS
in black Hazmat suits with assault rifles
STAMPEDE into the room.

One of them, the LEADER
goes up to Mr. Domino.
Points his rifle at the students.

PARAMILITARY LEADER
NOBODY MOVE.
This in an INFECTED AREA.

Two troopers GRAB Gaga.
Wrestle her into a body bag.
Carry her away, SCREAMING.

Two more GRAB Seven,
now covered in puke, also SCREAMING.

SEVEN
Let me GO, let me GO --
I didn’t DO ANYTHING.

A trooper runs a hand-held scanner over her body.
Takes a reading. Nods. Looks at Leader.

SCANNER TROOPER
Negative, sir.

PARAMILITARY LEADER
Take her in for testing.
We need to be sure --

SEVEN
TESTING? What kinda TESTING?

A pair of troopers stuff her
into a body bag, kicking and screaming.
Then haul her away.

Another trooper takes a reading
of the chair Gaga was sitting in.
Turns, looks at Leader.

TROOPER
Infection level four, sir.

PARAMILITARY LEADER
Quarantine the room.

MR. DOMINO
Wait a minute, you can’t do that --

Paramilitary WHIPS out a syringe.
Jabs it in Mr. Domino’s neck.
He falls to the floor, THWUMP.

PARAMILITARY LEADER
Sleep tight, and don’t let
the Bill Of Rights bite, professor --

Scanner Trooper turns and looks at Leader.

SCANNER TROOPER
What’s 'The Bill Of Rights?'

PARAMILITARY LEADER
Ancient history, soldier --

EXT. HIGH SCHOOL ROOFTOP - DAY
A BLACK HELICOPTER sits on the roof.
Blades WHIRRING.

The troopers race out of the rooftop
exit with the body bags.
Load them onboard.
The copter TAKES OFF.

EXT. LOWER MANHATTAN - CHOPPER POV - DAY
We see the giant wall around the city.
The chopper flies over the Hudson river.

On the other side, in what was New Jersey,
is now a series of burnt-out slums.

EXT. NEW JERSEY - BURNT-OUT WATERFRONT - STREET CORNER - DAY
In front of what was an apartment building,
now a pile of smouldering ruins,
a body bag lies on the sidewalk.

It ZIPS open. Gaga crawls out.
Looks around. Deserted. Huh.

GAGA
Not TOO scary --

A PACK OF ZOMBIES appear down the street.
Hideously disfigured.

About half-way gone.
They SCREAM at her.

Gaga WHIPS her head in their direction.

GAGA
Omigod, omigod, omigod --

She starts RUNNING --
and they CHASE AFTER HER.

Friday, October 14, 2011

The Boulevard of Broken Necks



Hey there, crime kids. Happy Friday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In chapter 45 of WILSHIRE BOULEVARD, we reach the exciting conclusion to our story, where private eye Carrie Love has her final showdown with murderous screenwriter Jenny Lane ...


INT. POOL HOUSE - NIGHT
Jenny looks at herself in the mirror.
Raises the gun.

SPINS the chamber.
Places it against her temple.

CARRIE (O.C.)
Careful with that.
It might go off if you’re not careful.

CARRIE
stands in the window.
Now open. Curtain gone.

JENNY
(whips the gun around)
Stay AWAY from me!

CARRIE
I’m afraid that’s not possible, hot stuff.

Carrie starts to climb in.

JENNY
Stay BACK! I’ll fucking SHOOT YOU!

CARRIE
You won’t shoot me.

JENNY
Yes I WILL! Don’t come any CLOSER!

Carrie drops to the floor.
Lands with a soft thud.

CARRIE
You won’t shoot me.

JENNY
Oh, yeah? Why not?

CARRIE
You know why.

Carrie walks up to Jenny.
Gently takes the gun away.

CARRIE
Because we’re the same.
We have this hole in our heart
that we try to fill with love, with sex,
with anyone who will have us.
But the funny thing is,
it stops working after a while.
The sad part is finally realizing
the only one who can fill the hole --
is you. But by then it’s too late.

Jenny stares. Eyes flicker madly.
Cheeks flushed.

CARRIE
What I don’t get is why you --
I mean, just because I didn’t CALL you?

JENNY
I overheard on the phone
Modi and Gay plan to have Harvey killed.
They hired a hit man.
But then they changed their mind.
Called it off. I thought
I was going lose MY mind,
so I killed Harvey myself.
But then Gay hired YOU,
which was PERFECT.
So I decided to FRAME you.
(eyes well up)
But then -- you and I --
(beat)
You and I --

Jenny starts POUNDING Carrie
on the chest with her fists.

JENNY
It got all FUCKED UP.

CARRIE
(GRABS her hands)
But we just MADE OUT. What the fuck?

Pause.
JENNY
You mean you don’t remember?

CARRIE
Remember what?

JENNY
We went back to your place --
after the Christmas party.

CARRIE
We did?

INT. CARRIE’S JOINT - BEDROOM - FLASHBACK - NIGHT
The red room is lit by a single candle.
The liquid, sultry trip-hop of Morcheeba’s
UNDRESS ME NOW bubbles over --

Carrie and Jenny in bed.
Carrie’s doing something to Jenny with her hand,
under the covers. Kissing her neck.

JENNY
Yes -- yes -- ohmigod --

Carrie closes her eyes. Stops moving.

JENNY
Don’t stop. Why did you stop? I’m about to --

Jenny sits up. SHAKES Carrie.
But she’s out like the dead.

Tie many martoonis.

JENNY
You PASSED OUT?
You fucking PASSED OUT?

IN THE POOL HOUSE
Jenny’s eyes fill with tears.

JENNY
You -- said you loved me.

CARRIE
(to herself)
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
(to Jenny)
I was in a blackout, Jenny. I --
(sighs)
I’m sorry. What we had was --
really nice. Really nice.
(a whisper)
It’s not your fault. It’s -- mine.

Jenny crumples. COLLAPSES into Carrie’s arms.

JENNY
What’s going to happen to me?

NEAR THE POOL
Bernie and Aya take position
near the diving board.

BERNIE
What the fuck is going on in there?

AYA
I hear crying.

Pause.

BERNIE
Can you really -- smell it?

IN THE CABANA
Carrie and Jenny hug for dear life.

CARRIE
Let me take you in.
It will go easier. Trust me.
I promise no one will hurt you.

JENNY
(a whisper)
Promise?

Carrie takes her hand.
They go to the door. Carrie opens it.

CARRIE
We’re COMING OUT.
The prisoner is UNARMED. Don’t SHOOT.

BY THE POOL
Carrie and Jenny walk out of the cabana.

BERNIE
Santa Monica Police!
Stay where you are!
You’re both under arrest!

AYA
Bernie --

Carrie and Jenny exchange glances.
And, faster than you can blink,
Jenny DIVES into the pool.
Then Carrie --


Bernie starts SHOOTING
blindly into the water.

AYA
BERNIE! NO!

Aya TACKLES him to the ground.
They WRESTLE for his gun.

She SWERVES on top.
PINS his arms.

AYA
What the fuck
do you think you’re DOING?

She LEAPS off him. Gets up.
Turns to the pool.

TWO BODIES
lie in the water. Face down.
Red smears against the blue.

BERNIE AND AYA
come to the edge. Look down.

AYA
Stupid ASSHOLE. You killed them!

One of the bodies LURCHES up.
GULPS in air. It’s CARRIE.

She paddles over to Bernie and Aya.
Climbs out. Soaked.

The three of them look at Jenny.
Bobbing in the water.

Lipshitz walks over.
Joins them. Shaking his head.

CARRIE (V.O.)
That’s the thing about Hollywood.
In the city of angels,
nothing is what it appears to be.
It’s all smoke and mirrors.
Special effects. Body doubles.
With a big twist ending.

A COYOTE appears in the yard.
Chewing on something.

CARRIE (V.O.)
Here in LA, everyone wears
a bright, sun-shiny smile --
while they hold a knife behind their back.
And if you have something they want,
you’re best friends forever --
until they get it,
and then it’s buh-bye, see you later --
otta bigger, better offer.

CLOSE ON --
The coyote’s mouth.
In it, a human hand.
With a pinky ring.

CARRIE (V.O.)
Just another day on Wilshire.
(beat)
The boulevard of broken necks --

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Where's Raymond Chandler When You Need Him?



Happy Thursday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 44 of WILSHIRE BOULEVARD, private eye Carrie Love is confronted by homicide detectives Bernie Keko and Aya Meier, and reaches an uneasy truce so they can team up to bring in murderous screenwriter Jenny Lane ...


INT. POOL HOUSE - NIGHT
Jenny is panting.
She wipes her forehead.
Opens the gun.

CLOSE ON
the chamber.
One bullet left.

CARRIE
raps on the rear window.
Hidden behind a curtain.

CARRIE
Jenny. Let me in.
Let’s talk about this.

JENNY
I have nothing to say to you!
Go away! You’re just like a guy!

CARRIE
I’ll take that as a compliment.

BERNIE AND AYA
appear.

Bernie aims his
service revolver at Carrie.

BERNIE
You’re under arrest.
Don’t move a muscle.

Carrie pulls out her Glock.
Points it at Bernie.

CARRIE
I didn’t kill anyone, Bernie.

BERNIE
Put down the piece, Carrie.
I don’t want to shoot you.

CARRIE
That makes two of us.
(looks at Aya)
Is this your new partner?

AYA
Aya Meir.
Nice to meet you.
Uh, given the circumstances --

CARRIE
Hey. You two just had sex --

BERNIE
Shut the fuck up
and drop it.
You’re under arrest.

CARRIE
You’ve got it all on tape, Bernie.
On the dictaphone.
Martune killed Slobotnik
in a fit of homophobic rage,
Nikki Yavo killed Roland Yavo
because he couldn’t deal
with her sex change,
and Jenny Lane bumped off
Roland Flender because
he stole her script,
and then framed me out of
some twisted obsession.
The 'alternative sexuality
triple crown,' if you will.

AYA
Where’s Raymond Chandler
when you need him?

CARRIE
Exactly.
(to Bernie)
This one’s a keeper --

BERNIE
(pulls out dictaphone)
And all of that
is on this tape?

CARRIE
Yeah. And after we bring her in,
I’ll go to the station,
answer all your questions
and drink that shitty coffee.

AYA
Put it down, Bernie.
Let’s be civilized.

BERNIE
(lowers his gun)
Alright, godammit.

CARRIE
(lowers hers)
You two cover the front.
I’m going in the back window,
and I’ll bring her out.

AYA
Can I ask you a question?

CARRIE
Shoot.

AYA
Have you always had such a
powerful sense of -- smell?

PUSH IN ON Carrie.
Eyes twinkling.

CARRIE
For certain things --

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Kill-Shot



Hey there, crime kids. Happy Wednesday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 43 of WILSHIRE BOULEVARD, we start the race to the exciting conclusion as private eye Carrie Love chases after murderer Jenny Lane, while being pursued by homicide dicks Bernie Keko and Aya Meir ...


EXT. FLENDER ESTATE - BACK YARD - NIGHT
Jenny runs through the back yard.
Into a giant row of hedges.

Stopped by a fence
hidden in the foliage.

She ducks behind a tree.
Pulls out her gun.

CARRIE (O.C.)
JENNY. Come on out.
If you let me take you in,
you’ll be safe.

JENNY
I HATE you!

Jenny starts SHOOTING
blindly toward the house.

CARRIE
races over to a gazebo.

Ducks down behind the
lattice-work enclosure.

Pulls out her piece.
Checks the magazine.


As she does this,
Jenny DASHES into
the pool house.

CARRIE
JENNY.
Put the gun down.
You’re only gonna
make it worse!

BERNIE (O.C.)
DROP IT, Carrie.
You’re under ARREST.

CARRIE
(whips her head around)
BERNIE.
I’m glad you’re here.
Jenny Lane, crazy frill,
killed Flender,
she’s the one
who set me up.

BERNIE
stands behind a tree
near the gazebo.
Gun on Carrie.

BERNIE
We’ll discuss all that later.
Right now, I’m taking you in.
Martune died, and we have you
on videotape at the hospital --

AYA
crawls on the grass
near the rear of the gazebo.

CARRIE
(pulls out dictaphone)
You can question me later.
We’ve got the killer cornered,
and I’ve got it all on tape.

She TOSSES the recorder.
Bernie CATCHES it.

AYA
reaches the gazebo steps.
Starts to crawl up them, when --

A SHOT
rings out.
CRACKS her in the shoulder.
She FLIES backward.

AYA
OW!

CARRIE
whips her head around.
Sees Aya.

Does a roll, and CLATTERS
down the opposite stairs.
LEAPS up. DASHES away.

BERNIE
raises his gun.
Takes aim.

BERNIE
CARRIE, STOP.
Don’t make me shoot!
(sees Aya)
Aya --

He races over.

AYA
I’m okay.
It went right through.

Bernie RIPS off a sleeve.
Ties it around the wound.
KNOTS it.

BERNIE
Stay here.
Keep me covered.
I’m going after her.

AYA
Didn’t you hear?
The other girl
is the one we want.

BERNIE
Then we’ll bring ‘em both in.

AYA
Shut up and listen to me --

GUNSHOTS ring out.
Pieces of wood go FLYING.
They DUCK down.

CARRIE (O.C.)
She’s in the POOL HOUSE.
C’mon, over here.
We can surround her.

CARRIE
stands behind the cabana.
Sticking her head out.

CARRIE
I didn’t KILL anyone, Bernie!
I’m not a FUCKING KILLER.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Death Takes A Holiday



Happy Tuesday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 42 of WILSHIRE BOULEVARD, the shit hits the fan when private eye Carrie Love learns the true identity of Harvey Flender's killer, just as wannabe torture-porn director Phillie Pfugg arrives on the scene demanding 'payment' ...


INT. FLENDER MANSION - LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
Jenny stares at Carrie. Face turns red.
Nods her head at Gay.

JENNY
You -- SLEPT with her?

CARRIE
(to Gay)
Everybody makes mistakes.
(to Jenny)
Sorry, babe.
Never said I was perfect.

JENNY
You -- slept with -- HER.

Their eyes lock.
Jenny clenches her teeth.

Her face, a dark cloud.
Eyes glowing.

Carrie slowly aims her gun at Jenny.

CARRIE
(quietly)
You killed Harvey Flender.
And framed me.

JENNY
You’re crazy.

CARRIE
(to herself)
It was right there,
staring me in the face
the whole time.
(beat)
What was your motive?
Better benefits package?
Not enough vacation time?

JENNY
I don’t know what you’re talking about.

MODI
Harvey stole her script,
said he’d pay her off.
(to Jenny)
And I bet the cheap fuck
never did, did he.
Must really be frustrating,
now that DEATH TAKES A HOLIDAY
is up for three Emmys.

JENNY
How did you know about that?

MODI
Small office, babe.
Legal not only knows where
the skeletons are buried,
we negotiate who uses the shovel.
(to Carrie)
She’s been obsessed with you
since the Christmas party last year.

JENNY
Modi!

CARRIE
But we just -- made out.

JENNY
You said you were going to CALL ME.

MALE VOICE (O.C.)
Looks like a party.

PHILLIE PFUGG
stands in the doorway.
Sporting a sawed-off shotgun.

An evil grin.
He walks toward Carrie and Gay.

PHILLIE
If I had known
I would have brought something.

GAY
Who the fuck are YOU?

CARRIE
(to Phillie)
This is a private matter, Frankenstein.
So I suggest you let your
boot heels go a-wanderin,’
if you know what’s good for you.

MODI
(whispers)
That’s -- the hit man.
(to Phillie)
What are you doing here?
We no longer require your services.

PHILLIE
Funny thing about that.
I only got my up front payment.
I’m here to collect the balance.

GAY
But we called it off.

MODI
I left a message on your voice mail.

PHILLIE
Message? What MESSAGE?

Phillie aims the shotgun.
PUMPS it, CLICK-CLICK -- BANG.

The family portrait
above the fireplace SHATTERS.

MALE VOICE (O.C.)
Santa Monica Police!
Everybody stay right where you are!
DON’T MOVE!

BERNIE
stands in the doorway
with two REVOLVERS.

Aya to the side, SIG SAUER
in a two-handed grip.

JENNY
pumps GUN SHOTS at them.
Bernie and Aya ROLL to the side.

She RACES to the patio doors.

CARRIE
JENNY!

But she’s gone.

PHILLIE runs to the door.
SLAMS it shut.

PHILLIE
Think, think --

CARRIE
CRACKS Phillie on the head
with her piece.

PHILLIE
Ow!

She GRABS his gun.
KNEES him in the groin.
A soft POP.

PHILLIE
GAAAAA --

A large red, bloodstain forms
in his crotch. He keels over.

Carrie TEARS ASS toward the patio.
RACES outside --

As Bernie KICKS down the front door.
He and Aya look at Phillie.
Then Gay. Then Modi.

GAY
Detectives, I’m so glad you’re here.
Jenny Lane, she --

MODI
Fucking bitch ASSAULTED me.

BERNIE
Shut UP, BOTH of you.
(to Aya)
Cuff ‘em.

MODI
(as Aya cuffs him)
OW. Listen to me.
Jenny Lane killed Harvey.
She raced out the back door --

GAY
And Carrie Love,
she’s out there, too --

Monday, October 10, 2011

One Tough Nut



Hey there, crime kids. Happy Monday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 41 of WILSHIRE BOULEVARD, homicide detectives Bernie Keko and Aya Meir get 'up close and personal' in their police cruiser. Meanwhile, private eye Carrie Love grills the widow Gay Flender about her husband's murder ...


EXT. SANTA MONICA - CUL DE SAC - NIGHT
Bernie’s undercover cruiser is parked
at the end of the street behind a garbage dumpster.
The car is ROCKING.

INT. UNMARKED CAR - CONTINUOUS
Bernie and Aya are making love
in the back seat. It’s animal.

He SHRIEKS with pleasure, COMING.
Aya WAILS like a banshee.

Like howling dogs,
they climax together.

Silence.

BERNIE
Wish I had a cigarette.

AYA
I’ve got some. Hold on.

Aya pushes herself up.
Her blouse is open.
A splendid view.

She leans over the seat,
grabs her purse.
Pulls out a pack.

BERNIE
(takes one from her)
I shouldn’t.

AYA
(lights his, then hers)
Neither should I.
(exhales)
So what exactly did Carrie do?
Why was she suspended?

BERNIE
She cracked up her car,
smashed into a seven-eleven,
blood alcohol level twice the legal limit --
and her DATE for the evening
was the CHIEF’S sixteen-year-old DAUGHTER.

AYA
Wow. That explains alot.
(dreamy)
So -- what do we do now?

BERNIE
We get the fuck over
to Gay Flender’s joint.
If Lipshitz finds out --

AYA
No. I mean about us.

BERNIE
Us?

AYA
(hurt)
Yeah. US.

Bernie leans in.
Softly kisses her.

BERNIE
Tell you what.
Let’s crack this case,
then go away somewhere.
Maybe -- Cabo?

AYA
I’d love that.

BERNIE
(drinks her in)
You’re not such a tough nut after all.

PUSH IN ON Aya.
Eyes dancing with mischief.

AYA
Tell anyone and I’ll fucking kill you.

INT. FLENDER RESIDENCE - LIVING ROOM - AT THAT MOMENT
Gay and Modi sit on the couch.
Nikki, in a chair beside them,
Jenny tying her wrist,
Nikki’s gun in her waistband.

Carrie stands at the bar,
holds a gun on them.

She DOWNS a shot of something brown.
Wipes her mouth. Pours another.

CARRIE
Make sure you tie it good and tight.
She’s got double-chromosome strength.

MODI
Made for a man,
strong enough for a --

CARRIE
CAN it.

Jenny starts tying the other wrist, as --

NIKKI
Wait a minute. My asthma,
I need to take my medicine.

CARRIE
Hurry it the fuck up, then.

Nikki reaches into her bag
with her free hand.

Pulls out the coke snifter.
HONKS a large hit in one nostril.

Then the other.
She smiles maniacally.
Eyes bright, blink-blinking.

NIKKI
Thanks. I needed that.

JENNY
(SNATCHES it way)
That’s not medicine, that’s COKE.

A geyser of brownish-green viscous fluid
ERUPTS from her mouth.

Bubbles down her chin.
Eyes go glassy.

She goes into CONVULSIONS.
FALLS over in the chair.


BLOOD gurgles out Nikki’s nose.
Her eyes roll back.

Body SPASMS, a death rattle.
Lights out.

Jenny feels her wrist. Looks up.

JENNY
She’s -- dead.

GAY
Look what she did to my CARPET.

MODI
Now you can redecorate --

CARRIE
There will be no redecorating
where YOU’RE going.
(to Gay, gun at her head)
Okay, we’re gonna play Russian Roulette,
except I’m not Russian --
and this gun is fully loaded.
So tell me, NOW --
why did you FRAME ME?

GAY
I didn’t frame you -- we --
(looks at Modi)
Called it off.

CARRIE
Called what off?

MODI
We ordered a hit on Harvey.
But we -- called it off.
We changed our minds.

CARRIE
And you expect me to believe that.

GAY
It’s true.
We screened DOUBLE INDEMNITY,
and it scared the shit out of us.
Then Harvey disappeared,
and I hired you to find him.
Why in the FUCK would I frame you?
That drunken tryst we had? Please.
I’ve had better sex with my fist.

Friday, October 7, 2011

Shut Up And Bleed



Hey there, crime kids. Happy FRIDAY. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 40 of WILSHIRE BOULEVARD, private eye Carrie Love confronts the widow Gay Flender about her husband's murder, but they get interrupted by Roland Yavo's trangendered daughter Nikki, who's armed and dangerous ... and coked to the gills.


INT. FLENDER LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
Carrie holds her gun on Modi and Gay,
seated on the couch.

Jenny stands by the fireplace, watching.

CARRIE
(to Modi)
You’re the one who shot at us.

MODI
I don’t know what you’re talking about.

CARRIE
Your shoes are muddy --
and it’s a hell of a coincidence
that you got here just after we did.
(hands the gun to Jenny)
Cover him.
(to Modi)
Put ‘em up, asshole.

Modi glares. Raises his hands.
Turns, and RUSHES Jenny.

She CRACKS him on the head with the gun.
Modi REELS back.

MODI
OW! Fucking BITCH!

JENNY
Fuck you, ASSHOLE -- STAY BACK.

MODI
(feels head, sees blood)
I’m gonna fucking kill you --

CARRIE
Careful what you say, Mr. Boss-man.
I’ve got this all on tape.

Carrie pulls the dictaphone
out of her jacket pocket.

Places it on the coffee table
in front of Gay.

CARRIE
Okay. Start from the beginning.
Why did you try to frame me
for your husband’s murder?

GAY
There was no frame -- you see, we --
(sighs)
It’s kind of complicated.

CARRIE
(aims gun against her head)
Maybe this will simplify things.

FEMALE VOICE (O.C.)
Well, isn’t this a fun little group.

Nikki stands in the doorway.
Blood on her face. Her dress.

GAY
Nichol -- Nikki.
What are you doing here?

NIKKI
My father’s dead,
my mother won’t speak to me,
and -- you were always so --
supportive --

She trails off. Eyes wide.
Reaches in her bag.

Pulls out a snifter.
HONKS a hit. Then another.

CARRIE
You’re Yavo’s son --

NIKKI
I’m his DAUGHTER.

MODI
Nice wig.

CARRIE
(to Modi)
Shut up and bleed.
(to Nikki)
Sorry, babe --
but you got us at a bad time.
(stares, narrows her eyes)
Wait a minute.
Something’s not right.

NIKKI
No SHIT.
Someone KILLED my father.
He was SHOT in the HEAD.

Carrie eyes Nikki.
Slowly nods her head.

CARRIE
Well, whaddaya know.
YOU killed him.

NIKKI
That’s RIDICULOUS.
Why would I -- kill my own FATHER?

CARRIE
I don’t know.
The blood on your dress?
The fact that you’re acting
way too nonchalant?
Not to mention the fact that
the details about his death
weren’t released to the media?

Nikki pulls out a REVOLVER.
Walks toward Carrie.

NIKKI
Stupid bitch.
Now look what you’ve done.

CARRIE
Don’t do anything stupid.
I’ve got this all on tape --

Jenny GRABS Nikki from behind.
PINS her arms.

NIKKI
Hey!

Carrie dashes over,
wrestles the gun
out of Nikki’s hand.

CARRIE
(to Jenny)
Nice work, doll.
Didn’t know you
had it in you --

PUSH IN ON Jenny.
Eyes burning.

JENNY
Me neither --

Thursday, October 6, 2011

Shooting Blanks



Happy Thursday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 39 of WILSHIRE BOULEVARD, private eye Carrie Love arrives at the widow Gay Flender's joint to confront her as a murder suspect in the death of her husband. Meanwhile, homicide dicks Bernie Keko and Aya Meir get 'up close and personal.'


EXT. FLENDER MANSION - NIGHT
All is quiet on 24th street.

Jenny stands on the front porch.
RINGS the bell. The door opens.

IN THE BACK YARD
Carrie walks up
to the kitchen window.
Looks in.

CARRIE (V.O.)
Dead bodies were piling up
like mattresses on a Mexican pickup truck.
I was sucked into a vortex of murder --
and all roads led to me.
We heard on the radio
on the way over that
Martune had died.
Every cop in the city
would be looking for me.
I had to think of something,
and I had to think fast.

She walks around
to the side of the house.

Sees a big picture window
looking into the living room.
She eases herself over.

CARRIE (V.O.)
Problem was, my nerves were
frayed like a two-bit hooker’s split ends --
and I was shooting blanks.

THROUGH THE WINDOW
we see a tearful Jenny speaking to Gay.

Gay motions for Jenny to sit.
She does, on the couch,
near a roaring fire.

INT. FLENDER LIVING ROOM - CONTINUOUS
Gay sits next to Jenny, comforts her.

JENNY
I didn’t mean to hurt him,
and I didn’t mean to
break that sculpture.
I feel terrible about
the whole thing.
(beat)
He said --
horrible things to me,
and I -- lost my temper.

GAY
And he said you were fired?

JENNY
Yeah, but he’s done it before.
I’m not sure if it’s -- real.

MALE VOICE (O.C.)
Oh, it’s real.

MODI walks in.
Bruised and battered.
Holding an ice pack.

MODI
You broke a priceless
MING DYNASTY URN.
It was a gift from my FATHER.

JENNY
You hit me FIRST.
And called me a CUNT.

GAY
Let’s all calm down now.
I’m sure we can figure out
a solution to this --predicament.
(to Modi)
You realize the girl
can press charges, Modi.
That wasn’t very smart.

The doorbell RINGS.
Modi looks toward the foyer.

MODI
Now what?

Gay sips her drink.
Gets up.

GAY
Stay put, I’ll get it.

AT THE FRONT DOOR
Carrie stands with her
hands in her pockets. Waiting.

The door OPENS.
Gay sees Carrie.

GAY
Detective Love.
What a lovely surprise.
Here for your pound of flesh?

Carrie pulls out her GLOCK.
CLICKS the safety.

CARRIE
More like a ton.

INT. UNMARKED CAR - NIGHT
Bernie and Aya sit in their cruiser.
Both a little spooked.

BERNIE
I’m sorry I -- hit you.

AYA
I’m sorry I hit YOU.

BERNIE
It’s just macho bluster.
'Broad' is an affectionate term.
I LIKE women --

AYA
I get defensive.
My father raised me alone,
with four brothers.

BERNIE
Wow.
That must have been rough.

AYA
Yeah.

Pause.

BERNIE
I guess we should roll.

AYA
Yeah.

They stare at each other.
He leans over.

Kisses her. Wow.
Pulls back.

Aya’s eyes glitter
with emotion.

BERNIE
Holy shit.

AYA
Tell me about it.