Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Be All You Can Be
Happy Tuesday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.
In Chapter 7 of ZOMBIE & JULIET, infected revolutionary leader Brick Cosmo introduces Gaga to his terrorist cell at their secret headquarters, where she tells them about her brother Merk's vaccine for the virus ... just as they get attacked by vicious, mutant zombies ...
INT. ABANDONED CONVENIENCE STORE - NIGHT
Dark and dank. Windows boarded up.
A series of crude bunk beds line one wall.
On another, shelves filled with supplies.
Brick stands in front of his group of
There’s about a dozen of them,
in various stages of decay.
But none of them are too far-gone.
Standing next to him is Gaga.
Looking around nervously.
This here’s Gaga.
She was just infected and thrown to the wolves.
And she’s decided to join the revolution.
The group starts murmuring.
MONSTER (30’S), big and burly, stands.
Stares at Gaga. Points a finger.
But she’s just a young GIRL.
How’s she supposed to FIGHT?
So what was I supposed to do,
let the terminals GET her?
And besides, it’s strength in numbers, Monster.
RENO (20’s), a tough biker chick, sneers.
You gotta be fucking kidding me.
Last time I looked,
we’re not on Sesame Street.
I say we VOTE on it.
All that say NAY, raise your hands.
He SHOOTS his hand up.
Half the group raises their hands.
Can I say something?
Sure thing, little lady.
The floor is yours.
Gaga looks at the group.
Scared to death. But defiant.
I’ll have you know that I’m a Mont, NOT a Kapp,
and that we think how you’ve been treated is unfair --
Big fucking deal.
And -- that my brother has developed
a vaccine for the virus.
A hush falls over the room.
Really? You didn’t tell me that.
Well, what with escaping from
the zombies and stuff, it slipped my mind.
HAMMER (20’s), a dead ringer
for Ving Rhames chortles.
How do we know this fuckin’ vaccine WORKS?
My brother’s a genius.
He’s second year pre-med,
and he’s only seventeen --
Something SLAMS against the front door.
BANG. BANG. BANG.
INFECTED ATTACK --
The BANGING increases.
Every wall in the room starts SHAKING.
Everybody LEAPS up. Races around.
Grabs their squirt guns.
Brick grabs a pair of super-soakers.
Hands one to Gaga.
How did they find us?
Smell. In the last six months of infection,
they’re like bloodhounds.
And you’re fresh meat.
Monster RACES over to the wall.
Opens a peep-hole. Looks out.
About a hundred --
Hell, we escaped from over a
thousand on the Jersey Shore --
Well, you know the Jersey Shore --
Quick, everybody -- up to the ROOF.
The BANGING gets louder.
Red-clawed mutant hands start
punching HOLES in the walls.
Everybody RACES to the stairs
on the other side of the room.
Start RUNNING up the steps.
EXT. CONVENIENCE STORE ROOF - NIGHT
Brick, Gaga, Reno, Monster, Hammer
and the rest FLY out onto the roof.
Go to the sides. Look down.
AERIAL POV --
The building is surrounded by
A HOARD OF INFECTED ZOMBIES.
Ravenous, bug-eyed, screeching mutants
covered in lesions, dripping goo,
now scrabbling up the walls like spiders.
JAG, former military (30’s),
big and bulky scans the crowd.
Semper FUCK --
Brick raises his squirt gun. SCREAMS.
Get in FORMATION, soldiers.
Three to a side, LET’S GO --
Four groups of three go to each side.
Start SPRAYING gasoline down on the attackers.
A pair of SCREAMING INFECTEDS come over the wall.
Jag SPRAYS them. They EXPLODE in a RED MIST -- POP.
Be all you CAN be --
Another ZOMBIE climbs over the wall. Reaches for Reno.
She NAILS him. He EXPLODES, drenching her with goo.
Goddammit, I just did my HAIR --
A SLOBBERING ZOMBIE flies up over the side.
Gaga NAILS him with a stream of gas in the chest.
A giant HOLE opens up, his GUTS slide out -- and he POPS.
It’s like a videogame --
I’m getting low on gas --
So am I --
Ready for a little FIRE, scarecrow?
Hammer looks at Brick,
strapped into a flamethrower.
It’s Hammer-time --
He FLICKS IT ON and a SPRAY OF FIRE SHOOTS OUT.
He SWEEPS it down across the side of the building.
It HITS them -- and they EXPLODE
in SCREAMING FIREBALLS OF BLACK SMOKE.
Hammer RACES around the roof,
SPRAYING fire down the walls, killing the rest,
the air now thick with smoke.
Everybody DOWN. Cover your MOUTHS --
They all get down,
pull bandannas up over their noses.
It smells like -- shit.
No shit. And breathing it will kill you.
It’s the virus, in a gaseous state.
That’s why we only use fire as a last resort.
About that vaccine.
Where does your brother live?
Like I said, we’re Monts. Downtown.
In the Village.
Perfect. That’s where we’re gonna enter the republic.
Are we going over the wall?
Don’t be silly. Too many armed guards.
We’re going in through the Holland Tunnel.
That’s GENIUS --
Hey. How do you think I got to be the leader?
My good looks?