Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Let's Get The Fuck In There



Hey there, crime kids. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 26 of NOWHERE GIRL, things really heat up when the Al Quaeda terrorists hiding out in the Hollywood Hills mansion start making demands of the captives. Meanwhile, right outside, 'stripper with a suitcase nuke' Cherry Nation and Silverlake hipster Peeler Mardo get ready to deliver the bomb, when Cherry makes a deadly mistake ...


INT. MANSION - LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
Renny sits on the couch next to Rich Husband.
The two guards stand behind them
with weapons pointed at their heads.

Kamal stands nearby,
hands clasped behind him.

Hamad holds Rich’s cell phone.
SMASHES it. STOMPS on it, CRACK.

HAMAD
You called private security!
After I specifically told you
not to FUCK AROUND.
Do you know what we do
to people who don’t FOLLOW ORDERS?

RICH HUSBAND
I’m sorry, I guess I -- panicked.

Hamad pulls out a REVOLVER with a silencer.

RICH HUSBAND
No, wait, wait, wait!
I’ve got a shitload of money upstairs!
In my safe! You can have it! All of it!
There’s a couple hundred thousand.
It’s behind the mirror on the dresser
in the master bedroom.

Kamal walks over.
Hands him a piece of paper and a pen.

KAMAL
If you would kindly give us the combination.

Rich scribbles it down.
Relieved. Kamal takes it.

Nods at Hamad.
Hamad raises his gun, takes aim --

RICH HUSBAND
WAIT, I thought --

And SHOOTS Rich in the forehead -- THWIP.
Rich’s body SLUMPS over. Dead.

Renny’s eyes dart madly,
heart racing.

HAMAD
(big smile)
Not to worry, my big, strapping
American emergency services worker.
We still need hostages --
who know how to behave.

EXT. HOLLYWOOD HILLS MANSION - FRONT DRIVE - NIGHT
Cherry and Peeler walk up
the long driveway in the moonlight.
The lights of the city twinkle below in the distance.

CHERRY
I think I’m gonna pee my pants.
(beat)
How’s your leg?

PEELER
It’s really starting to hurt.
I’m really looking forward to
getting a chance to sit down for a second.
How’s your arm?

CHERRY
It’s throbbing like a motherfucker.
Look, why don’t we take a breather
before we go in, plot our strategy.

He nods.

She leads him over to the garage,
which is open.

They sit on the hood of a sleek Rolls.
Cherry rubs her wrist.

PEELER
Ohmigod is that good.

CHERRY
Simple pleasures.

She puts the briefcase on her lap.
Fiddles with the clasp.

PEELER
What are you doing?
Didn’t you tell me the guy said
you’d die if you opened it?

CHERRY
Yeah, he did --

Cherry closes her eyes.
Winces. FLIPS IT OPEN.

Nothing happens.

CHERRY
But he was LYING.
Ha, I KNEW it.
(looks inside)
So THAT’S what a suitcase nuke looks like.
Looks like any other bomb to me.

PEELER
And you’ve seen a lot of bombs --

CHERRY
In the movies, silly, on TV.

She examines the interior.
Points at a small clock.

CHERRY
This must be the timer.

PEELER
Cherry, I really don’t think
you should fuck around with that.
It’s been a really long night,
and I really don’t feel
like getting blown up.

CHERRY
Chill, dude. I’m not gonna --

Her nose twitches -- and she SNEEZES.

CHERRY
A-CHOO!

Which causes her finger to JERK
against the side of the clock,
and SPIN a small knob.

CHERRY
(looks)
NO -- NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!

PEELER
WHAT’S WRONG?

INSIDE THE BRIEFCASE
A small, red LCD screen reads

ENGAGE IN: 15:00 --
with the numbers reeling backwards.

PEELER
GODDAMIT, Cherry!
What the FUCK are we gonna do NOW?

CHERRY
We got fifteen minutes to figure it out.
Let’s get the fuck IN THERE.

3 comments:

  1. Yeah... I was kinda wondering what was going to happen with Rich and Handsome... but-not-too-flippin'-bright Hubby... tsk... tsk... tsk... now, see what you did, buddy... out 200k and blood all over your favorite Lacoste...

    Haha! I bet Renny needs an underwear change..


    (applause) Haha! "... and you’ve seen a lot of bombs...? -- ... in the movies, silly, on TV." LOL!!! Oh... that is too funny!!! haha!!

    If that is how bombs look and work... I just discovered a new career for me... hehe!! Oh, this is too cool, Carole... I love how you balance out chapters... "25" was all action... drama... death and sorrow... no smiles there.... and now in "26"... you bring that famous Parker humor in and I am laughing so loud, everyone out in the living room can hear me! haha!!

    Cherry, honey... now see what your curiosity got you? About 15 minutes to get the fuck out of Dodge, girl!!

    Woo Hoo!! Something tells me...unless of course someone can get that "Timex" to stop tickin'... we are about to reach a climax here? God, its been such an amazing ride....

    Can't wait to see what happens next!! (smile stretched from ear to ear!) :))

    XOXOXO <3 <3 <3

    Ronnie

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  2. So glad to have you along for the ride. Honestly, it blows my mind that you comment EVERY DAY. thanks again ...

    For me, the trick is balance the action and the funny stuff. It's called 'pacing,' and without it, the ride might become too exhausting. Stopping the action gives the audience a chance to catch their breath..

    As for Shag dying, that was hard to do, but the story is really about the two girls, after all. (It becomes a major issue for Cherry in the sequel, as she gets pissed off that 'all the cute guys she meets DIE ... )

    MWAH!

    xoxoxo
    Carole

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  3. I'm so glad you enjoy my comments... just little "thank yous" for your awesome story-telling... I may miss reading one day, but I will always catch up, so I haven't missed a chapter...

    You balance your stories out great... intense, fast-paced action... little breathers... I think it also allows the reader to absorb more of the story... think back on what has happened and whats coming next...get more into the characters... after all, its not just bullets and bombs, is it? haha!

    Yes.. .was sad about Shag, but now I understand better... the story is about the two girls... and Shag dying adds some to Cherry's "history"... builds on her character

    xoxoxo <3
    Ronnie

    ReplyDelete