Friday, October 15, 2010

Fucking Hollywood



Hey there, crime kids. Happy Friday! Do you know what time it is? It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 24 of NOWHERE GIRL, Palestinian arms dealer Avi Abbas questions a terrorist suspect while getting serviced by a mystery woman under his desk, and then gets a call from black ops spook leader Sledge Crafton, wonder where the hell the nuke is. Meanwhile, 'stripper with a suitcase nuke' Cherry Nation gets a little 'up close and personal' with Silverlake hipster Peeler Mardo ...


INT. DOWNTOWN LOFT - NIGHT - AT THAT MOMENT
Deserted, except for Avi, sitting at his desk,
facing the floor-to-ceiling windows,
city lights twinkling below.

AVI
(to someone unseen)
Ahhhhh, that’s it, baby -- that’s it.

He picks up the phone.
Dials a number. Listens.

INTERCUT WITH:

INT. INTELLIGENCE OFFICE - BASEMENT - AT THAT MOMENT
Crafton is supervising the interrogation
of an IRANIAN PRISONER,
who is hanging from a steam pipe
by a chain, shirtless, blindfolded --
and quite bloody.

He takes a sip of his tumbler of scotch.
SLAPS the prisoner.

SLEDGE
Tell me, you fucking SAND NIGGER!
Give me his NAME.

IRANIAN PRISONER
I don’t KNOW,
I am not TERRORIST,
I am DRY CLEANER!

Crafton nods at a LARGE, SURLY SOLDIER
holding a rose clipper around the big toe
of one of the prisoner’s bare feet.

SLEDGE
This little piggy went TO MARKET.

Surly SNIPS, CRUNCH, and the toe
FLIES IN THE AIR like a watermelon seed.

The prisoner SCREAMS. Blood flows.

Crafton’s cell phone rings.
He fishes it out of his pocket.

SLEDGE (CONT’D)
(to the prisoner)
Hold that thought.
(beat)
Crafton here.

AVI
It’s Avi. I wanna know
what the fuck’s going on with the --
(beat)
Shipment --
(beat)
Crafton.

Avi leans back in his chair,
rolls his head slowly.

SLEDGE
Do I have to fucking SPELL IT OUT for you?
The rogue courier is being TERMINATED,
and her replacement is delivering the package.
We have it HANDLED.

AVI
Goddammit, Crafton --
your fucking rogue
killed my best man.
I’m not sure I --
trust you anymore.

He closes his eyes.
In some kind of ecstacy.

SLEDGE
Trust ME? Now you listen to me,
you fucking TOWELHEAD --
you’re lucky we don’t fucking SHUT YOU DOWN.
I represent THE UNITED STATES GOVERNMENT --
and this is a BUSINESS DEAL -- FOR MONEY.
Haven’t you heard of IN GOD WE TRUST?
(dramatic)
The buyer will get THE PACKAGE.

AVI
Okay -- okay --
(moans)
Ahhh --
(beat)
AHHHHHHHHHH --

His body JERKS. He smiles, peaceful.

SLEDGE
Abbas? You there?

A TALL BLONDE pops up from under the desk.
Wipes her mouth with a tissue.

Avi SNAPS his fingers.
Points. She leaves.

AVI
Yeah -- I’m here.

He lights a cigarette.
Inhales. Blows a lazy smoke ring.

AVI (CONT’D)
Just make sure it happens -- soon.
We don’t want the buyer to get upset
and cause an incident.

SLEDGE
I’m not worried.
They’re in fucking Hollywood.
Why do you think we chose that location?

EXT. HOLLYWOOD HILLS - WOODED AREA - NIGHT - AT THAT MOMENT
It’s stopped raining. Cherry and Peeler
walk up the incline though sparse foliage.
They reach a narrow, winding road.

CHERRY
Thank fucking god.
I’m cold, I’m wet --
and I’m fucking TIRED.

PEELER
(points at the sign)
Check it out. We’re almost there.

They start walking up the steep incline.

CHERRY
After this is done,
I can’t wait to have a stiff drink
and a long, hot shower.

Cherry trudges on.
White knuckles gripping the briefcase.

PEELER
So listen, I was wondering --
when this is all over,
would you like to, you know --
go have coffee or something?

CHERRY
(does a take)
You mean like a -- date?

PEELER
No, not a DATE.
You know, just -- hang out.
You know, coffee.
Maybe grab a burger --

CHERRY
(faint smile)
That’d be -- nice.

A tear runs down her cheek.
She stops. GRABS him.
Gives him a long, lingering kiss.

PEELER
What was that for?

CHERRY
Not sure. But I kinda liked it.
(kisses him again)
Yeah. That’ll work.

3 comments:

  1. Haha! So who's the unlucky girl Avi is giving a facial too? Hey, Blondie... you missed a spot on your cheek! lol!!

    I'm thinking that Crafton does not have a real firm grasp on the situation here... I mean, come on here, Sledge... Cherry and Peeler are a couple of amateurs... what's the problem, dude? Yeah... I know... I'm poking a hornet's nest with a stick.... Hahaha!!

    OMG!! Crafton is pure evil!!! Damn! That made my toes curl... OW!!

    I love how you describe the toe amputation... "snap... crunch.." nice visual... toe flying through the air..like a watermelon seed when you squeeze it between your fingers.."..ptt!"

    Oh, hey! There's the two "lovebirds"... lol! Aww... that's sweet... Peeler is asking Cherry for a date? Careful, Cherry... (stealing a line from SPEED) "I've heard relationships based on intense experiences never work."

    Nice Friday story, Carole... Enjoy your weekend, sweetie! xoxoxo <3

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thanks, doll. Things are really heating up, huh?

    And yes, I LOVE to describe extreme violence. Too much fun. So what does that say about me?

    Bwahahaha!

    Luv ya,

    <3

    Carole

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oh yes, things are heating up!

    Hmm... what does that say about you? In 25 words or less?... That you are a fascinating and creative person with a great imagination... you know how to have fun... it's never going to be boring around you... you're definitely not the "knitting, watching Oprah, can't wait for the next issue of Ladies Home Journal" type, and your friends are very fortunate to have you in their lives...

    Oh... that's a bit more than 25 words, isn't it? Funny... I have always been very good at math... hehe!

    Abracos e Beijos, Sweetie! <3

    ReplyDelete