Monday, October 4, 2010

Bastard's A Fucking Spy



It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your darkest fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 15 of NOWHERE GIRL, the plot thickens when 'stripper with a suitcase nuke' Cherry Nation and the gang's car breaks down, and they start walking up into the Hollywood Hills. Meanwhile, Homeland Security agent April Street runs afoul of the law, and is captured by black ops spook Yuri Vlaovic. Then, somewhere deep in Hollywood, Bel Air Security answers a call for help made by the rich homeowner that the terrorists have kidnapped ...


EXT. HOLLYWOOD HILLS - NIGHT
Cherry, Peeler and Stan pile out of the Celica.
Start walking up into the Hollywood Hills.
Cherry looks at the houses.

CHERRY
Look at the size of THAT joint.

Cherry’s cell phone RINGS.
She gets it. Listens.

CHERRY
Shag? What’s wrong? Are the kids okay?

INTERCUT WITH:

INT. CORVETTE - MOVING - NIGHT
Shag drives east on Sunset.
Passes The Beverly Hills Hotel.

SHAG
The kids are fine.
I was just calling to see if --
everything was okay.

CHERRY
Why do you keep checking up on me?
You’re driving me fucking CRAZY.

Pause.

SHAG
I know what’s going on, Cherry.
And I want to help you.

CHERRY
What’s GOING ON?
You know WHAT’S GOING ON?
Uh, I don’t THINK SO.

SHAG
Do you realize how dangerous
a nuclear device is? How unstable?

CHERRY
What the FUCK? How did you --

SHAG
I’m CIA, Cherry.
I couldn’t tell you before --
for obvious reasons.
(beat)
And I’m sorry. It fucking killed me.
So let’s just forget everything that happened
and concentrate on getting you out of this mess.

CHERRY
So you don’t sell shower heads. I KNEW it.
All the secret phone calls, the long trips,
the injuries -- GODDAMMIT, Shag.

SHAG
I know. I know.
(beat)
I’m on my way. I’ll be there soon.

CHERRY
How do you know where I --

SHAG
Aerial satellite thermal tracking.
You’re carrying plutonium, Cher.

CHERRY
I told you not to CALL ME THAT anymore!
You, you -- ARRRRGHH!
(clicks the phone shut)
GODDAMMIT.

PEELER
Shag -- is the ex?

CHERRY
Yeah. And the fuck-head’s following us.
Bastard’s a fucking SPY.

PEELER
Shit. What are we gonna do?

LOUD ROCK MUSIC starts playing nearby.

Cherry looks at the house they’re in front of.
It’s smaller, ranch-style.
And the music is coming from the garage.

CHERRY
Follow me.
(beat)
I’ve got an idea --

INT. MERCEDES SUV - MOVING - NIGHT - AT THAT MOMENT
April drives west on Sunset.
Starts to approach the strip.

She looks at the GPS.
A red dot BLINKS on the screen.

APRIL
I’ve got ya, baby.

A siren WHOOP-WHOOPS behind her.
An ANGRY VOICE comes over the loudspeaker.

MALE VOICE (O.C.)
This is LAPD! Pull over, NOW!

APRIL
FUCK. Again?

She turns the wheel. Pulls over. Stops at the curb.
An OFFICER appears on either side of the car.
WEAPONS drawn.

CRAZED COP
Put your hands where I can see them,
and step out of the car, NOW.

APRIL
I’m a federal officer.

CRAZED COP
I said RAISE YOUR HANDS
AND GET OUT OF THE CAR, NOW.

APRIL
Okay, okay --

She puts them up. Opens the door.
Carefully gets out.

APRIL
(reaches in her pocket)
I’m just gonna get my ID --

The cop GRABS April, WHIRLS her around --
and SLAMS HER against the car.

APRIL
OW!

Yuri walks over. Lights a cigarette.
Surveys his prize.

YURI
(to the cop)
Don’t cuff her. She’s mine.
(to April)
We meet again, Ms. Street.

APRIL
(whips her head around)
YOU.

YURI
Lucky for you I wear stainless steel cup.

INT. BELL AIR SECURITY HEADQUARTERS - NIGHT - AT THAT MOMENT
A maze of cubicles, mostly empty.
A pair of FEMALE DISPATCHERS
sit side-by side at adjacent work stations.

KANEESHA (35), a big, beautiful African American woman
with long, curled nails turns toward her coworker.

KANEESHA
I just got another one.

MIRASOL (25), a hot, young Latina takes a sip of coffee.

MIRASOL
Another what.

KANEESHA
Another call from the same number.
But they don’t say nothin’.
They’ve called four times in the last half-hour.

MIRASOL
Where they at?

KANEESHA
Caller ID says they be in the Hollywood Hills.

MIRASOL
Maybe he be havin’ a heart attack or somethin’.

KANEESHA
Maybe it’s his kid playin’ a practical joke.

MIRASOL
Maybe not.

KANEESHA
I been on this job over ten years,
and I think I KNOW when it’s a real call.

MIRASOL
Suit yourself.
(beat)
I’m just sayin.’

KANEESHA
(looks at her monitor)
Shit. There it is again.
Fuck it. I’m sendin’ a car --

3 comments:

  1. HAppy Monday!! Woo Hoo!!

    I can totally understand Cherry being pissed that Shag lied about what he was - hey, if Tina was a spy and didn't tell me...yeah I'd be a little ticked!

    OMG!!! Tina is out of town an awful lot... on business, she says! Hmmm... I think maybe I better have a little talk with Ms Shaw!

    Now, where was I... oh yeah. So, Cherry girl, I'm thinking you could be a little nicer to Shag... he just may save that fine little butt of yours! lol!!

    Oh no! April just can't catch a break, can she? Wait a minute... yes she can it appears... big mistake Yuri... not putting the cuffs on her... that big ol male ego is gonna get you hurt... again!! Isn't it a little humiliating, Yuri? I mean... getting your butt kicked by a girl! Ya big wuss! HAHAHAHA!! April is gonna hand you your little nutbag, dude! :)

    Okay... Kaneesha and Mirasol don't sound to bright, do they? But they do sound kinda hot... I wonder what those two do... all alone... dead of night... nothing happening.... just two hot girls... mmmm... I know what would be going on if I was there... MUAAHH!!! hahaha!!

    Story is really heating, Carole... woo hoo!!

    xoxoxo <3

    ReplyDelete
  2. And I LOVE reading your comments every day. Too fucking cool.

    And YES, just wait. Things are about to REALLY get HOT ...

    xocp<3

    ReplyDelete