Happy Friday, crime motherfuckers! You ready for the weak-end? Looking for some cheap, pervy thrills? Some dastardly hardboiled-pulp-noir kicks? Then get your tight little asses over to the coolest joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.
Onto today's spellbinding chapter of BLOOD GETS IN YOUR EYES ...
Boozy screenwriter Holly Land has just stabbed hooker Alona Tal's trick with a pair of scissors in the back, killing him. Problem is, it turns out he wasn't attacking Alona ... they were just playing 'what's my bondage?' So Alona calls her boyfriend, drug dealer Beggar Leck to help them take care of the body ...
INT. ALONA'S SHITTY HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT
A sharp KNOCK-KNOCK-KNOCK at the door.
MALE VOICE (O.C.)
HEY. Are you okay in there?
Alona and Holly look at each other. Shit.
It’s the guy that just moved in down the hall --
(to the door)
Be there in a sec!
(whispers, to Holly)
Cover him with the bedspread and hide.
(off her look)
DO IT --
Holly RUNS to the bed.
Grabs the cover.
THROWS it over the body.
Dashes into the closet.
Alona RACES over to the door.
Opens it a crack.
IN THE HALLWAY
Is a large, bald, friendly-looking GUY (20’s) with a long goatee.
Meet VERNE. The new neighbor.
Are you okay? I heard shouting and fighting --
IN THE ROOM
Alona smiles coyly.
Sorry about that.
Had a fight with my boyfriend.
I’m okay. He’s gone --
Verne pokes his head in. Sees she’s naked.
So you’re okay --
Yeah. I’m fine.
You sure are.
Boyfriend’s a lucky sumbitch.
We have an -- open relationship.
Why don’t we -- party one of these nights?
Cool. See ya later.
Gotta crash now. Bye.
(as she closes the door)
The door CLICKS shut.
Holly comes out of the closet.
Holy shit, that was close.
Tell me about it --
Shit. Now I’m gonna have to hang out with him.
The b-bald guy with the gross goatee?
She goes over to the body. Stares at it.
Holly sits on the bed. Head in her hands.
I’m so sorry, Alona -- I fucked up.
It’s okay. He was a jerk.
So who was he?
A rich, kinky asshole. Scum of the earth.
A, a -- lawyer?
Worse. An agent.
I gotta call Beggar.
He’ll know what to do.
Alona gets her cell phone. Dials a number. Listens.
Hey, baby -- it’s me.
INT. BEGGAR’S BMW CONVERTIBLE - MOVING - NIGHT
Beggar drives with the top down.
(on the phone)
What’s wrong? You sound funny.
Well, seeing as how there’s a dead body in my room --
you’d sound funny, too.
What the FUCK?
My trick, the agent.
We were playing ‘What’s My Bondage,’
Holly heard the commotion and came in to rescue me --
Fighting back tears.
Goes to the table.
Gets Alona’s bottle of vodka.
Opens it. Takes a long slug.
And stabbed him with a pair of scissors.
Jesus fucking CHRIST.
No big loss. The guy was a real asshole.
The world’s a better place without him.
But shit, Alona.
There’s a dead guy in your ROOM.
Hey -- life gives you a lemon, you make lemonade.
Where are you?
I’m on the 405, getting near the 90.
I’ll be there in fifteen minutes.
Wrap him up in the shower curtain
and start cleaning up the blood --
Can’t YOU do that?
Time is of the essence, Alona.
You want blood seeping through the floor to the room below?
Shit. Okay, okay.
Are you gonna call your friends?
Yeah. They’ll TAKE CARE of it.
You -- mad at me?
No, not you.
It’s just -- they want me to work for them full-time,
and if they help with this, I’m gonna owe them.
Owe them what?
Let’s just say the new guy gets to do the dirty work.
Just get started, and I’ll be there soon.
Out, out damn spot.
Just hurry up and get your ass over here,
my bloody valentine.