Happy Hump Day, Humpsters. Are you ready to get your hardboiled spy thriller groove on? Ready for a big, heaping slab of non-stop, ass-kicking action? Ready for hot chicks with extremely big weapons and even bigger ... mouths? Well, then get your ass into gear, and check out NOWHERE GIRL!
Screened a classic last night. ROMANCING THE STONE, with Michael Douglas and Kathleen Turner. I'm doing research for my big-budget adventure story for an A-list producer, and this is source material. Was afraid it was gonna be a bit corny -- hadn't seen it in years -- and boy, was I pleasantly surprised. It really holds up. And you know why? Because it's a great STORY, where the characters go through an ordeal, change -- and eventually hook up. And it's funny. If you want to see an example of good, old-fashioned fimmaking, this is it. Check it out sometime. A true classic.
Onto today's joint from NOWHERE GIRL, and boy, do things get heated up ...
In part 1, Homeland Security April Street arrives right in the middle of black op Token Ware's confontation with Cherry Nation ...
In part 2, we meet the terrorist sleeper cell that is expecting delivery of the suitcase chained to Cherry's wrist ...
And part 3, the big fight's exciting conclusion.
INT. PEELER'S JOINT - NIGHT
Walks into the room.
Holding a sawed-off shotgun.
You should lock your front door.
Open invitation for dangerous criminals.
That’s the guy who -- ?
I gave you an address to take the case to.
And instead, you come to this rat-trap to fuck this LOSER?
I’m gonna go, I’m gonna go.
We got shot at, at the airport, and, and --
We were -- just leaving.
Please don’t shoot us.
Did I say you could take SOMEONE WITH YOU?
This isn’t a DATE. We’re dealing with TERRORISTS here.
There’s a TIME-TABLE. And now you’re LATE.
You think an AL QAEDA SLEEPER CELL
is just gonna HANG AROUND ALL DAY and WAIT?
Appears next to Token’s head.
The safety CLICKS.
WOMAN’S VOICE (O.C.)
Put the gun down, slowly.
Stands in the doorway.
Token lowers the gun.
You gave the case to the wrong chick, doll.
(looks at Cherry)
Jesus Christ. You could be my sister.
EXT. HOLLYWOOD HILLS - MANSION - NIGHT
A glass and steel monstrosity right outta ENTOURAGE,
high on a cliff, jutting out into the sky on stilts.
INT. MANSION - LIVING ROOM - CONTINUOUS
The very definition of ritzy. The room is fucking HUGE.
An amazing view of Los Angeles twinkles below.
Seated in front of a roaring fire is HAMAD KHARRAZI,
head of this particular Al Qaeda sleeper cell.
His second-in-command, KAMAL AESEFIJ, stands before him.
Both wear ‘Hollywood casual’ jeans and polo shirts with jackets.
We have heard nothing yet, sir.
FEMALE VOICE (O.C.)
I told you to be SILENT.
CAMERA PULLS BACK to reveal --
A RICH HUSBAND (50’s) and his TROPHY WIFE (20’s).
Seated on another sofa across the room.
Right now being held at gunpoint by
TWO AFGHANI TERRORISTS with Uzis.
Dressed in hip-hop baggies and baseball caps.
I’m sorry, but I, I --
need to use the -- ladies’ room.
Stay where you are!
You can piss yourself for all I care!
I have an idea.
And what is your IDEA?
Well, as you know,
I am a bit of what they call
a tech-head here in the states.
Yes, I know.
You went to university.
Ball State, sir.
Excellent humanities and science programs.
I am growing impatient, Kamal --
Well, since she called us on the cell phone,
we can return the call with the push of a button.
But of course, it’s stored on the phone.
I suggest we -- call her.
Find out what the story is.
Call her IMMEDIATELY.
Kamal smiles. Pulls out his cell.
Punches a button. Listens.
It’s ringing --
INT. MARDO’S JOINT - NIGHT - AT THAT MOMENT
April holds her gun against Token’s head.
It was an honest mistake.
She looks just like you.
I said PUT THE GUN DOWN, NOW.
I will if you do.
Please don’t shoot me.
He won’t shoot you,
not when you’re carrying a suitcase nuke.
A suitcase wh-what?
Why did you TELL HER?
April’s phone RING-RINGS in her pocket.
Token moves on April.
She PISTOL-WHIPS him. THWUMP.
Stay RIGHT THERE.
April WHIPS out handcuffs,
CUFFS him to a chair, CLICK-CLICK.
While Cherry’s busy, Peeler tip-toes away.
She pulls out her cell. Answers it.
This is Street.
There’s been a delay.
I’m on my way.
From behind, Peeler SMASHES
April on the head with a lamp.
She reels, and goes down.
NICE. Let’s get the fuck OUTTA HERE.
Maybe we should -- call the cops?
Are you fucking kidding?
(holds up the case)
You know how much this is WORTH?
I say we deliver it ourselves.
And what, take the money?
Won’t that be -- kinda dangerous?
PUSH IN ON Cherry.
Dollar signs in her eyes.