French Vanilla

Happy Tuesday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 5 of DAZED, BEAUTIFUL & BRUISED, teenage serial killer Sparkle Plenty checks into the Farmer's Daughter Motel on the wrong end of Sunset Boulevard. Meanwhile, homicide dick Carrie Love gets ready to visit the porn set where she's gonna go 'under cover' ...


EXT. THE FARMER’S DAUGHTER MOTEL - NIGHT
Beyond crappy. Behind a plexiglass box,
the FAT ASIAN CLERK (30)
regards a filthy Sparkle warily.

SPARKLE
Hey there, hot stuff.
How much is it?

FAT ASIAN CLERK
For the night
or for the hour?

SPARKLE
Don’t make me laugh,
ton o’ wonton.
I bet the Chamber of Commerce
would love to hear how you
greet a tired visitor
to this wondrous city.

Spooked, he slides over
the registration.
She fills it out.

FAT ASIAN CLERK
It’s thirty-nine dollars
a night, in advance.
No cooking, no guests, no pets.
You can use the pool,
but after eight
we’re not responsible.
Read the sign.

She hands him the card
and some cash.

FAT ASIAN CLERK
Check out time is eleven.
No exceptions.

SPARKLE
All I need is soap and water
and fresh towels.
(takes key, turns to leave)
Thanks -- grasshopper.

FAT ASIAN CLERK
(reads the card)
Your name is --
Sparkle Plenty?

SPARKLE
You don’t want to know
what they named my brother.
(beat, weird smile)
G’night, flat-top.

EXT. POLICE PRECINCT - NIGHT
Carrie strides out the front door,
Bernie right behind her.

CARRIE
Good night, flat-foot.

KEKO
I’m coming with you.

CARRIE
No you’re not.
(reaches her car, opens the door)
If I’m gonna get in there,
I gotta be alone.
(jumps in, slams it shut)
And I certainly don’t wanna
be seen on the set with my ex.
Hampers the getting laid quotient.

She GUNS the engine.
Bernie races around
to the passenger side,
tries the door.

Locked.

KEKO
Open the door, you --

Carrie cracks the window.

CARRIE
You had your shot, Bernie,
and it fucking kills you
that I defected to the other side.
And now it’s interfering
with your judgement at work.
Go do something --
check the crime scene,
get a burger, jerk off,
I don’t care.
Now, if you’ll excuse me,
I’ve got to pick up my HIV test --
(beat)
Can’t get on set without it.

EXT. HOLLYWOOD HILLS MANSION - DAY
Carrie stands at the front door.
Regards the opulence.
She looks smokin’ in a halter,
cutoffs and platform sandals.

CARRIE (V.O.)
My contact’s name was Zette Duquesne.
She was a nice girl,
came from a rich French family,
descended from royalty.
Until she was busted with
a shitload of coke driving naked
on Mulholland Drive at five AM.
(beat)
Of course, I didn’t know that
the night I picked her up at Girl Bar.
Didn’t know she worked
in the porn industry, either.
No wonder she asked
if I had handcuffs.
(beat)
Lucky for me I never
told her I was a cop.
Wasn’t in the mood
for nightstick games.
Just wanted plain,
French vanilla, thank you --