The Wounded Bird

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In Chapter 21 of LEGS, Episode 3, Carrie, Bernie and Basil hover around Kitty's hospital bed and learn from her doctor that she'll live, but that she's in a coma. Then Carrie races to the porn soundstage to go rescue her girlfriend Laura, who's been electrocuted in 'her most private area' ...


INT. HOSPITAL ROOM - DAY
Kitty lies in bed connected
to a shitload of tubes and wires.
A monitor softly BEEPS.

Bernie and Carrie stand next to a
KINDLY-LOOKING INDIAN DOCTOR (30’s).

Basil sits in a chair next to the bed
looking at her, teary-eyed.

BERNIE
How is she?

KINDLY-LOOKING INDIAN DOCTOR
Her vital signs have stabilized,
but I’m afraid she’s in a coma.

CARRIE
Was there any brain damage?

KINDLY-LOOKING INDIAN DOCTOR
We won’t know until she wakes up.

BERNIE
How long will that be?

KINDLY-LOOKING INDIAN DOCTOR
We have no way of knowing.
Could be a day, a month or a year.
Or longer.
But she’s not in any pain,
if that helps.

BASIL
If I talk to her,
can she hear me?

KINDLY-LOOKING INDIAN DOCTOR
There’s no way of knowing.
But it cannot hurt.
(beat)
Now, if you’ll excuse me,
I have another patient to attend to.
Good luck to you.

He bows and leaves.

BASIL
Fucking dot-head.
I wanna get a specialist,
get the best fucking
brain doctor there is.
I can afford it.

BERNIE
I did some checking up, pop.
He’s supposed to be one of
the best neurologists
in the country.

CARRIE
Oh, shit -- Laura.
I gotta go.

BERNIE
Go get her.
Thanks for coming.

CARRIE
She’s gonna pull through okay,
Bernie. Don’t worry.

She kisses him on the cheek.
Hurries out.

BASIL
Holy shit.

BERNIE
What?

BASIL
She fucking kissed you.

BERNIE
On the cheek, pop.
We’re still friends.

BASIL
‘Friends,’ my ass.
She wants some of that
Keko man-meat, I tell ya.
I knew she’d come around.
(takes Kitty’s hand in his)
You hear that, Kitty?
Carrie and Bernie
are getting back together.

INT. PORN SOUNDSTAGE - MAKEUP ROOM - DAY
Laura is curled up in a ball on a couch
in the corner wrapped like a wraith
in a white sheet.
Looks pale. Small. Damaged.

Carrie rushes in,
races over to her.

CARRIE
Baby, there you are --
are you okay?
Are you okay?

She wraps her arms
around the wounded bird.

LAURA
I don’t feel so good, Care.
That -- bloody machine.

CARRIE
I’m so sorry, baby, I’m so sorry.
C’mon, I’m taking you home.

With surprising strength,
Carrie picks her up, cradles her.

LAURA
You’ll carry me --
across the threshold?

CARRIE
I’ll carry you
to the end of the earth.

CARRIE (V.O.)
Yeah, yeah -- I know.
Corny, sentimental.
Deal with it.
(beat)
Just keep it on the down-low, okay?