Friday, December 7, 2012

Good Cop, Bad Cop


Hey there, crime kids. Happy Friday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 15 of LEGS, Episode 3, private eye Carrie Love and her ex-husband homicide cop Bernie Keko get a call from police headquarters with good news ... they've captured the thief who stole Bernie's mother's car that the kidnappers used to abduct her. Now, all they have to do is interrogate him ...

INT. MEG’S HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - DAY
Basil, Bernie and Carrie drink coffee.
Stare at the phone.

CARRIE (V.O.)
We were trapped in some kind of
Waiting For Godot from hell.
Time seemed to move in slow-motion,
like it was stuck in molassas.
(beat)
Or up a Kardashian’s
big, fat ass.

Bernie’s cell phone RINGS.
He pulls it out of his pocket.

Looks at it. Smiles.
Answers it.

BERNIE
What’s up?
You got good news?

INTERCUT WITH:

INT. SANTA MONICA POLICE HEADQUARTERS - FRONT DESK - DAY
A GRIZZLED VET COP (50’s)
sits behind the front desk,
talks to Bernie on his phone.

GRIZZLED VET COP
We got the fucker
that stole your mother’s car.

BERNIE
Nice.
(cups the phone,
to the others)
They got the CAR.
(into the phone)
How’d you get
the asshole so fast?

GRIZZLED VET COP
Hey, we protect and serve our own.
Dispatcher sent a
chopper to look for it,
and we got lucky.
Greaseball was parked
in front of
The Ninety-Nine Cent Store
on Pico.

BERNIE
Lo-ser.
(cups phone, to Carrie)
He was at
The Ninety-Nine Cent Store.

CARRIE
Hey.
I love the Ninety-Nine Cent Store.
I shop there all the time.

GRIZZLED VET COP
We have him in a holding cell
awaiting processing.
We thought you might want
to interrogate him yourself.

BERNIE
I’m on my way.
Thanks, Jimmy.
(hangs up, to the group)
They’ve got the little shit
in a holding cell.
(to Carrie)
C’mon, let’s go
interrogate him.
Find out where
the FUCK he got it.

BASIL
Holy shit.
This is GREAT.

CARRIE
They’re not gonna
let me do that.
I’m not a cop anymore,
remember?

BERNIE
Don’t worry about it.
I’ll make it happen.
I need you to do the
‘good cop, bad cop’
thing with me.

CARRIE
Deja vu all over again.
And I’m not talking
Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young.
(smiles)
Can I be the bad cop?
You never let me
be the bad cop.

BERNIE
Are you kidding?
With that rack?

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