Instant Karma

Happy Tuesday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 27 of BABY HEISTER, after former flame Jack Cotton rescues Jo Hazard from the gang-bangers, he tries to hijack the stash, with deadly results. Meanwhile, teenage heister Kelsey Hazard and Doc try to escape in their limo, but the driver has other ideas ...


INT. JACK’S TRUCK - MOVING - DAY
Jack drives east toward Los Angeles on the freeway.
Jo stares out the window. Lost in thought. Exhausted.

JACK
Must be alotta dough.
Forty years of heisting.
Gotta be quite a nest egg.

JO
We’ve been enjoying our retirement.

JACK
Took me a long time to get over you
leaving like that.

JO
I fell in love, Jack.

JACK
But you said you loved me.

JO
But I wasn’t IN love.
(off his look)
Don’t get me wrong.
I’ll always love you.

JACK
And I guess being a heister
was more exciting than being a grifter.

JO
I didn’t plan on it, Jack.
It just happened.

Jack turns off the highway
onto the shoulder. Stops.

JO (CONT’D)
What are you doing?

He pulls out a GUN.
Points it at her.

JACK
You broke my heart, Jo.
I never got over it.
Now it’s time to break you.

JO
Put the gun down.
You’re acting crazy.

JACK
Get outta the fucking car. NOW.

JO
You think you can just STEAL
our nest egg?

JACK
Sure looks like it.

JO
You realize Doc will hunt you down
to the end of the earth and kill you.

JACK
That’s a risk I’m willing to take.
Outta the fucking CAR. NOW.

JO
Okay. Have it your way.

Jo reaches over to open the door.
YANKS her gun out.

SHOOTS him. BANG. BANG. BANG.

His head HITS the steering wheel.
The horn BLARES. Jo reaches over.
Pushes his body against the seat.

He slumps to the side.
Head THUNKS against the window.
She glares at the body.

JO
Instant Karma’s a bitch.
And so am I.

INT. LIMOUSINE - MOVING - DAY
Doc and Kelsey sip their drinks.
Doc closes his eyes.

DOC
Sure is nice to sit back and relax for a spell
after all the shit that’s been going down.

KELSEY
Tell me about it.
(takes a sip)
So I’ve been doing some thinking.

DOC
That could be dangerous.

KELSEY
No. Listen. It’s about Griff and Chelle.

I was thinking -- wouldn’t it be cool
if we robbed the bank where they --
(beat)
You know, finish what they started?

DOC
(opens his eyes)
Damn. You ARE a heister.

KELSEY
(looks out the window)
Want to feel -- a connection.
Have -- closure.
(realizes)
Hey. Why are we going this way?

DOC
He’s going toward the Marina,
not the freeway.
(raps on the divider)
Mr. Def-Con. Why are we going this way?

Def-Con doesn’t answer.
Keeps looking straight ahead.
They look at him. Then each other.

DOC
The fucker’s trying to HIJACK us.

They look out the window.

KELSEY
Now he’s turning. Where’s he GOING?

DOC
A supermarket?

EXT. SUPERMARKET - PARKING LOT - CONTINUOUS
A giant mega-market. Not many cars in the lot
mid-afternoon on a weekday.
The limo pulls around in back.

IN THE LIMO
The divider SLIDES DOWN,
revealing Def-Con, holding a gun.

DEF-CON
End of the line, pops.

DOC
You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me.

DEF-CON
I want you to take out your piece
very slowly and toss it toward me.

DOC
Who set us up?
There’s no way Crutch would have done it.
We’ve worked together twenty years.

DEF-CON
That piece of shit?
He owes my boss forty large.
I just happened to be visiting him
when he got the call from your wife.
(beat)
Your piece. TOSS it. NOW.

Doc sighs.
Slowly pulls his weapon
out from the holster.
Tosses it toward the front. THUMP.

DEF-CON
Now I want both of you to get out real slow
and start walking. Got it?

KELSEY
Okay, okay. Please don’t hurt us.

Doc shakes his head with disgust.
Reaches for the door handle.

Kelsey looks out the window.
Sees something.

KELSEY
Holy shit, there’s a COP.

DEF-CON
(turns, looks)
What the fuck?

Kelsey WHIPS OUT HER GUN
and SHOOTS Def-Con in the head. BANG.

Blood SPLATTERS the windshield.
His body slumps.

Doc stares at her with disbelief.
Then slowly smiles.

DOC
There’s no cop.

KELSEY
Nope.

DOC
Nice shooting.

KELSEY
It’ll do in a pinch.
(smiles)
Whattaya say we jack a new set of wheels
and blow this grocery-fuck?