Heisters On The Half-Shell

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Wednesday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 28 of BABY HEISTER, retired criminal mastermind Doc Hazard and teenage heister Kelsey arrive at Doc's safe house in downtown LA's warehouse district and get settled in. Meanwhile, psycho cop Flint Cole tells division chief Darryl Rooker his plan to interrogate the heisters he's arrested, by 'interrogating them in transit' to the the lockup ... which 'might take awhile' ...


EXT. DOWNTOWN LOS ANGELES - WAREHOUSE DISTRICT - DUSK
An abandoned three-story warehouse
surrounded by other old buildings
on a deserted block in
the middle of no-man’s land.

INT. LOFT BUILDING - DUSK
Dark. Quiet. Partitions divide
the giant space into different areas.

Living room. Bedroom. Kitchen.
Dining room. Bathroom.
Furniture covered with tarps.

A large, old SERVICE ELEVATOR
rises to the top.

A WOODEN GATE slides back,
and a late-model TOYOTA SEDAN
drives into the room.

Pulls up against the wall.
Kelsey and Doc get out.

KELSEY
This place is fucking COOL.

DOC
Bought the building
twenty years ago, dirt cheap.
Figured someday the
shit would hit the fan
and I’d need someplace
safe to hole up.
I set up a shell corporation
in the Cayman Islands
as the official owner.

KELSEY
What’s on the floors below us?

DOC
Nothing. Completely empty.

KELSEY
What about the windows?
Won’t people be able to
look in and see us?

DOC
Watch this.

He walks over to an electrical panel.
Starts flipping switches.

METAL SHUTTERS start
coming down over the windows.

Then starts flipping
another set of switches,
and lights start coming on --
CLICK, CLICK, CLICK, CLICK.

KELSEY
Nice. Is there hot water?

DOC
Yep. Utilities are paid
by the corporation in the Caymans.
Any more questions?

KELSEY
Got anything to eat?
I’m fucking starving.

EXT. PALM SPRINGS POLICE HEADQUARTERS - DUSK
A small white building
in a sea of palm trees.

Flint Cole walks outside.
Pulls out his cell phone.
Punches a number.

FLINT
Rooker, it’s me.

INTERCUT WITH:

INT. DARRYL ROOKER’S OFFICE - DUSK
Darryl sits behind his desk
looking at a file folder.

Sipping coffee.
Holds the receiver against his ear.

DARRYL
Please tell me
you’ve got good news.

FLINT
How about two heisters
on the half-shell
served on a silver platter?

DARRYL
What the fuck? Where?

FLINT
At the airport.
Dumbshits were having
burgers in the restaurant.
Had half a mil in a duffle bag.

DARRYL
Good job.
Where are they now?

FLINT
We’re at the
Palm Springs lockup.

DARRYL
Did they talk?

FLINT
Of course not.
But don’t worry.
I have my ways.

DARRYL
But Palm Springs
won’t let you get away with --

FLINT
These desert pansy-asses?
Course not.
That’s why I’m gonna
take ‘em to LA for questioning.

DARRYL
But you don’t have jurisdiction --

FLINT
I do if I’m questioning them
about Doc’s kids’ bank job.
They caused a fucking riot.
I’ve already called the DA.
We get first crack at them.
THEN Palm Springs gets ‘em.

DARRYL
And you can hold ‘em
forty-eight hours.

FLINT
Yeah, but that doesn’t start
until AFTER I transport them.

DARRYL
Fucking genius.
You’ll interrogate them in transit.

FLINT
Yeah. And, hey -- it’s not my fault
if we get stuck in traffic.
Who knows, we might even
get a flat tire --