A Chip Off The Old Crook

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Friday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 15 of BABY HEISTER, teenage wannabe bank robber Kelsey Hazard and the rest of the crew scopes out the diner where they plan to knock off the armored car when it makes its pit stop ... and much to everyone's surprise, the newbie comes up with the perfect plan ...


EXT. RUBY’S DINER - NIGHT
Your standard desert roadside diner
on the outskirts of town.

All but deserted at this hour.
A couple of cars and trucks are parked.

Only a few customers
are visible in the windows.

The SUV pulls into the parking area.
Slides into a space off to the side
facing the windows. Stops.

INT. SUV - NIGHT
Simon shuts off the engine.
Everyone looks at the diner.

DOC
I dunno. All those windows.

RENO
Everybody on this side
would see us.

DUSTY
Yeah. There’s no way.

KELSEY
What if we parked a couple of
big trucks on each side of it?

DOC
The can?

KELSEY
Yeah.

DOC
Might work --
(beat)
What about the people inside?
How could we divert them from
seeing what was happening out here?

Kelsey looks at the window. Thinking.

IN THE WINDOW
A WAITRESS blocks off a section
with an AREA CLOSED FOR CLEANING floor sign.
Then starts mopping.

KELSEY’S
Eyes light up.
She points at the waitress.

KELSEY
Look. See what she’s doing?

Everyone turns and looks.

SIMON
That’s fucking brilliant.

KELSEY
We have Tilly mop the area
in front of the window.
Make sure there’s plenty of
ammonia in the water.
Everyone will sit FAR away.

DOC
You’re a chip off the old crook.

KELSEY
Takes on to know one.
(beat)
How about we get a piece of pie?

DOC
No can do.
Can’t be seen in there.
(to Simon)
C’mon. Let’s head back.

Simon starts up the engine.
Backs up the car.

DUSTY
What about an escape route?
It’s just a stretch of highway.
And I didn’t see any place
on the way we could hole up.

DOC
We need a vehicle no cop
would think of searching.

The SUV pulls out.
Heads back out onto the freeway.

SIMON
How about a school bus?

DOC
You’d have to have students in it.
Too complicated.

DUSTY
What about a roach coach?

DOC
Also too complicated.
All that food.

RENO
How about a manure truck?
NO cop would wanna get NEAR that.

DOC
And you would?

KELSEY
I got it.
A crime scene cleaning crew.
They’ve got those biohazard stickers on ‘em.
NO ONE wants to see what’s inside of THAT.

DOC
That’s fucking brilliant.

KELSEY
We have some other signage
for the first part of the job --
then after we jack the can
it comes off and becomes the cleaning crew.

Dusty and Reno turn.
Look at Doc. Nod slowly.

Simon looks at her
in the rear view mirror. Grins.

SIMON
Looks like the apple didn’t
fall far from the scene of the crime --