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Monday, April 25, 2011
Who's Dick Is Bigger?
Hey there, crime kids. You say you don't like Mondays? Well, we've got the cure for what ails ya. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.
In Chapter 26 of NOWHERE GIRL, all hell breaks loose when stripper Cherry Nation delivers the suitcase nuke to the terrorists -- and they discover it's been activated -- and then when former Special Forces op Renny Quick joins in the fray, things turn ugly, quick.
EXT. HOLLYWOOD HILLS MANSION - NIGHT
Cherry and Peeler are at the front door.
CHERRY
Go hide in the bushes over there
by the window and watch.
If something goes wrong, call 911.
PEELER
Okay. Better hide your gun.
CHERRY
Shit, yeah.
She tucks it in her skirt waistband
in the small of her back.
PEELER
So, uh -- in case anything -- happens,
I just want you to know that,
despite all this scary shit --
I’ve had the best time I’ve ever had tonight.
Cherry’s touched.
She kisses him on the cheek.
CHERRY
Me, too. Now go, scoot --
we gotta save the world.
(beat)
And then maybe grab some breakfast.
He nods, limps off into the bushes.
Cherry RINGS the bell.
CHERRY
Here goes nothing.
The door OPENS. It’s Kamal.
He sees the case. Big smile.
KAMAL
Greetings. We’ve been expecting you.
CHERRY
Sorry for the delay.
KAMAL
Not to worry. Please, come in.
INT. MANSION - FOYER - CONTINUOUS
Kamal leads Cherry toward the living room.
CHERRY
(looking around)
This place is -- amazing.
KAMAL
Vulgar American conspicuous consumption.
(beat)
Can’t wait to blow it up.
INT. MANSION - LIVING ROOM - CONTINUOUS
Kamal leads Cherry into the room, where Hamad,
the guards and Renny are watching a ball game
on the big screen plasma TV.
KAMAL
Hamad. Our package has arrived.
Hamad looks. Smiles.
Gets up. Walks over to them.
HAMAD
Very good. Excellent.
(gestures at the case)
May I?
CHERRY
You have the money?
RENNY
Sits in his chair watching the game.
Behind his back,
we can see him loosening his ropes.
HAMAD
Cocks an eyebrow. Nods. Looks at Kamal.
HAMAD
Give her the money.
Kamal nods. Walks over to a table.
Grabs an attache case. Brings it over.
Sets it down on a chair near Cherry and Hamad.
Flips open the lid to reveal it’s STUFFED WITH CASH.
KAMAL
One million dollars. As promised.
Cherry’s eyes BUG.
She’s never seen that much money.
In a daze, she hands Hamad the briefcase.
He takes it.
Sets it down. Opens it.
Sees the LCD DISPLAY.
HAMAD
It’s been ACTIVATED.
WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?
The next few moments happen
in a BLUR OF SPEED --
RENNY’S
Ropes FLY OFF.
He GRABS the guards by their heads
and CRACKS them together.
SNATCHES their weapons.
SMACKS one on the head, THUMP --
then the other, THWACK. They GO DOWN.
CHERRY
GRABS the money.
HAMAD
GRABS Cherry.
Points his gun at her head. CLICK.
KAMAL
Points his gun at Renny. CLICK.
HAMAD
(to Cherry)
What THE FUCK is going on here?
Is he with you?
CHERRY
Hell, no!
(to Renny)
Don’t shoot!
I’m with the government!
She WHIPS out her gun.
Points it at the case.
CHERRY
(to Hamad)
Let me the fuck go,
or else I’ll blow us all to kingdom come.
Hamad releases her. Looks around.
What THE FUCK.
RENNY
That’s really a -- n-nuke?
HAMAD
YES. And it’s going to go off
in NINE MINUTES.
Renny’s eyes dart back and forth.
He licks his lips.
RENNY
I used to be Special Forces.
I think I can disarm it.
CHERRY
You THINK you can disarm it?
RENNY
Well, it’s been a few years --
EXT. MANSION - FRONT YARD - NIGHT - AT THAT MOMENT
Peeler watches the action through the window.
Panicked.
PEELER
This doesn’t look good.
FEMALE VOICE (O.C.)
That’s the tricky part
about being a Peeping Tom.
APRIL
Steps into view.
Aiming her Sig Sauer.
PEELER
Oh, h-hi. I’m with Cherry,
the girl with the nuke, remember?
APRIL
Of course -- you’re the guy
that fucking handcuffed me.
PEELER
Sorry about that.
Listen, some serious shit
is about to go down.
Cherry is in there
trying to do the deal --
and the nuke has been,
like -- ACTIVATED.
We’ve got, like --
I dunno, nine, ten minutes?
APRIL
WHAT?
She touches her hands-free.
Speaks into it.
APRIL
You get all that?
INTERCUT WITH:
INT. CIA HEADQUARTERS - CUBICLE - CONTINUOUS
Lark sits at her desk.
CHOKES on her coffee.
LARK
Yeah. Hold tight,
I’m going to send
every agent we have in the area.
INT. MANSION - LIVING ROOM - AT THAT MOMENT
Hamad looks at Cherry. At Kamal. Then Renny.
HAMAD
And how am I supposed to believe you?
RENNY
Well, we can go back and forth like this
while the clock is ticking --
or you can take a chance
on saving your fucking lives.
Your choice, Bin Laden.
HAMAD
WHAT did you call me?
RENNY
You heard me,
you fucking terrorist.
You think you can just
waltz into our country
and buy a NUKE?
HAMAD
It was your CORRUPT GOVERNMENT
that SOLD it to us, IMBECILE.
CHERRY
SHUT UP, both of you.
While you’re playing
'who’s dick is bigger' --
we’re running out of TIME.
EXT. MANSION - FRONT YARD - NIGHT
Peeler sits on the ground.
April looks in the window.
APRIL
I’m going in. You stay put.
PEELER
Sure thing.
I’ll just sit here
and watch my life
flash before my eyes --
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