To Catch A Thief

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In Chapter 20 of NOWHERE GIRL, Homeland Security agent April Street gets in a fender-bender on Sunset Boulevard with an irate agent ... and CIA agent Shag Holiday gets whipped by assassin Wendon Swift. Meanwhile, stripper-with-a-suitcase-nuke Cherry Nation and Silverlake hipster Peeler Mardo find a hiding place to hole up in during the rain storm ...


INT. YELLOW CAB - MOVING - NIGHT
April ZOOMS west on Sunset Boulevard.
Window down. The wind WHIPPING her hair.

The rain is coming down harder,
getting her wet.

She checks her PDA.
Looks up. Sees something.

APRIL
Hey, ASSHOLE! You’re in the INTERSECTION!

She HITS the breaks, and the cab SKIDS.

EXT. SUNSET BOULEVARD - CONTINUOUS
A BENTLEY SEDAN has pulled out of a mini-mall,
it’s nose in the intersection.

April tries to brake, but she hydroplanes,
and SMASHES into the side of the hood. Metal CRUNCHES.

PUNCHING the car sideways.
April’s cab COUGHS and dies.

The hood FLIES UP.
Steam BILLOWS out of the engine.

APRIL
SHIT.

The cab driver wakes up.
Starts SCREAMING at April.

MIDDLE-EASTERN CABBIE
What you do to my TAXI-CAB, mother-fucker!

April opens the door, starts to get out.
Turns to him.

APRIL
Guess you won’t be praising Allah today.

EXT. SUNSET BOULEVARD - INTERSECTION - CONTINUOUS
The owner of the Bentley,
an IRATE AGENT races over to April.
Gets in her face. SHOUTS at her.

IRATE AGENT
You fucking BITCH.
Do you realize HOW MUCH that car COSTS?!
(WHIPS out his Blackberry)
Just wait till the fucking COPS get here.

APRIL
(WHIPS out her ID)
Homeland Security, asshole.
Get out of my fucking face.

IRATE AGENT
(looks at it)
Oh, yeah -- right.
'Homeland Security.'
What an awful name.
Sounds like an insurance company.
Ooh, I’m scared.

April PUNCHES him in the face, WHAM.
He goes down. She looks around.

Traffic is moving around them.
She pulls out the PDA.
Checks the location.

APRIL
It’s right around the corner.
Fuck it.

And she TAKES OFF on foot, running.

EXT. GARAGE - DUMPSTER - NIGHT - AT THAT MOMENT
The heavens open up, and it starts POURING rain.
Thunder BOOMS. Lightening CRACKS in the sky.

IN THE DUMPSTER
Wendon is on top of Shag, CHOKING him.

He PRIES her fingers away.
HEAD-BUTTS her, BANG.

She FLIES against
the side of the container, CRACK.

Shag grabs a board,
BANGS it on her head, WHAM.
She goes down.

He starts to KICK her,
but she GRABS his leg,
YANKS him off his feet.

She stands. Pulls out her Sig Sauer.

WENDON
Fuck this shit.

She FIRES at his chest -- BANG-BANG-BANG.
He FLIES against the wall, flops down.

She HOPS out of the dumpster. Looks.

WENDON
Wimp.

And she TAKES OFF into the woods.

EXT. WOODS - NIGHT - AT THAT MOMENT
The wind WHIPS through the trees.
BUCKETS of rain pour down.

Cherry leads Peeler through the woods.
They’re soaked.

They arrive at the rear
of a huge back yard.

Push through the bushes --
and see the back of an enormous mansion.

CHERRY
We gotta find someplace
where we can dry out for a bit.
My arm is fucking killing me, a
nd my wrist feels like it’s gonna fall off.

PEELER
What about this place.
It’s got a pool house.

CHERRY
All the lights are out.
Bet they’re out of town.

PEELER
Let’s go.

He starts walking.
CRIES out in pain.

CHERRY
What’s WRONG?

PEELER
SHIT. I stepped on something.
Ow, FUCK.

Peeler lifts his boot.
A large, rusty nail protrudes.

CHERRY
C’mon, lean on me.
We’ll get that taken care of.

PEELER
(puts his arm around her waist)
Thanks.
(beat)
Don’t worry. I’m way past
wanting to fuck anyone at this point.

CHERRY
Huh. That’s a shame.

And she leads a hobbling Peeler
toward the pool house.

EXT. QUEENS ROAD - NIGHT - AT THAT MOMENT
Torrents of rain pour down on --

April, racing up the steep incline
going up into the hills.
She stops for a moment.
Catches her breath.

APRIL
Fucking -- CRAMP. FUCK.

She massages her leg.
Looks at a house.

A VESPA SCOOTER
is parked in front of the garage.

APRIL
There is a God.

April RACES up the driveway.
Goes to the scooter.

Opens up the engine manifold.
Finds, strips a pair of wires.

Touches them together. They SPARK.
The engine ROARS to life.

She hops on. REVS it.
And SPEEDS up the hill.

INT. DUMPSTER - NIGHT - AT THAT MOMENT
Shag lies in the trash, motionless.
Pelted by the rain.

CLOSE ON --
His EAR.
We see a communications device.
Red light BLINKING.

INTERCUT WITH:

INT. CIA HEADQUARTERS - CUBICLE - NIGHT
Lark taps a pencil on her desk.
Listening on her headset.

LARK
Shag? You there? Shag?
(beat)
Shit.
(listens)
SHAG?

SHAG
Opens his eyes.
Slowly, painfully sits up.

SHAG
Hey. You don’t have to yell.

LARK
Thank god. Are you alright?
What happened?

He opens his flack jacket.
We see three SMASHED BULLETS
in his kevlar vest.
He peels them off.

SHAG
Was intercepted -- by someone.
Woman. Had real moves.
Vest got a workout.
(shakes his head)
Wonder who she’s with.

LARK
What happened to her?

SHAG
She got away.
Must also be after the case.

Shag gets up,
climbs out of the dumpster.

LARK
Well, you at least hurt her, right?

SHAG
Have no idea.
No time for chit-chat.
I need the new location.
She’s on the move.

Lark looks at her monitor.
Taps a few keys.

LARK
She’s about one-hundred yards
away from you, forty-five degrees,
north by northwest.

SHAG
Like the Hitchcock movie.

LARK
After this is over,
let’s go to Paris.
Catch a thief.

SHAG
(starts jogging)
And what, steal jewels?
Climb rooftops?

LARK
Ooh. You’re so Notorious --