War Of The Girls

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In Chapter 34 of NOWHERE GIRLS, Homeland Security agent-sisters Cherry Nation and April Street arrive at Mann's Chinese Theater in Hollywood to take down evil criminal mastermind Honey Almond. Meanwhile, in a sub-basement deep below the theater in her underground lair, Honey is about to spring her trap ...


EXT. VENICE BOULEVARD - NIGHT
April drives the big chopper,
Cherry sits behind her.

ON THE MOTORCYCLE
Cherry SHOUTS above the roar of the engine.

CHERRY
Can’t you go any faster?

APRIL
And get pulled over by the cops?

CHERRY
Maybe we should take the freeway --

APRIL
Gonna be swarming with Feds.
Best to take Venice.
Almost as fast at this hour.
Then we’ll shoot up LaBrea.

CHERRY
Okay, just HURRY.

APRIL
Don’t worry, we’re gonna get your kids,
AND clear our names --

CHERRY
And then I’m DONE.

APRIL
What? Are you KIDDING ME?
You can’t quit NOW.
We’re a TEAM -- we’re SISTERS.

CHERRY
You mean blood is thicker than water?

APRIL
HELL, yeah -- RIGHT?

CHERRY
Let me get back to you on that --

INT. MAX’S SUV - MOVING - AT THAT MOMENT
Max drives. Sees something out the window.

MAX
Hey. There’s the DWP VAN --

SUNDAY
They must have switched vehicles.

MAX
No shit. Check out the guy on the lawn.

EXT. CUL DE SAC - CONTINUOUS
The SUV stops. Sunday and Max JUMP out.
RACE over to Nasty Biker.

Sunday gets down on one knee.
SLAPS him in the face.

SUNDAY
Hey, Peter Fonda, WAKE UP.

POT-BELLIED NASTY BIKER
(opens his eyes)
HEY.

He slowly gets up. Rubs his jaw.

POT-BELLIED NASTY BIKER (CONT’D)
Who the fuck are YOU?

MAX
FBI.

POT-BELLIED NASTY BIKER
Thank fucking god.

SUNDAY
What happened?

POT-BELLIED NASTY BIKER
(points)
These two chicks came by in that van,
one of ‘em was that porn star La Cienega Boulevard.
Said they were Homeland Security
and that they were bein’ chased by somebody,
and could they take my hog.
I said sure, if I could come along and help.
Then they fucking CLOCKED ME and STOLE it.

MAX
Two women, twins, super-hot?

POT-BELLIED NASTY BIKER
That’s them. Who’s chasing them?

SUNDAY
We are.
(off his look)
It’s a long story --
(to Max)
Alert Sky Sat, STAT.

Max nods. Pulls out his cell.
Punches a number. Listens.

MAX
Yeah, hey. This is agent Cargo.
They’re on a motorcycle.
Heading from this location to Hollywood.
Track all major thoroughfares
and send every agent you have
to Mann’s Chinese Theater, got it?
(listens)
Thanks. We’re on our way.

He clicks the phone shut.

POT-BELLIED NASTY BIKER
Mann’s Chinese Theater?
What’s going on THERE?

SUNDAY
Ever seen War of the Worlds?

EXT. MANN’S CHINESE THEATER - NIGHT
The girls pull up in front
of the theater on the chopper.

See a crowd of people waiting to get in.
The sign reads NOWHERE GIRL.
SPECIAL MIDNIGHT SCREENING.

EXT. MOTORCYCLE - CONTINUOUS
Cherry and April look at the sign.

APRIL
Shit, I forgot. Opening night.

CHERRY
We should probably go around back.

APRIL
Uh, YEAH --

She KICKS the engine in gear.
They ride down the street,
then turn into --

AN ALLEY
They park near an EXIT sign.
HOP off the bike. Go to the door.
April tries it, but it’s LOCKED.

APRIL (CONT’D)
Of course --

Cherry pulls out her pick.
Starts working it in the lock.

CHERRY
Just give me a sec --

APRIL
See all the fun you’d
be missing if you quit?

CHERRY
Don’t test me,
I’m almost at the breaking point.
(jiggles it)
C’mon, fucking OPEN --

The lock CLICKS.
Cherry GRABS the handle.

CHERRY (CONT'D)
Okay, c’mon --

APRIL
I love you.

Cherry stops. Looks at her.
Eyes filled with tears.

CHERRY
I -- love you, too.

APRIL
Then c’mon, killer.
Let’s go get your kids.

CHERRY
(tries to smile)
Okay --

And they go in.

INT. HONEY’S UNDERGROUND LAIR - COMMAND CENTER - NIGHT
Honey stands at the head of the room.
Takes a sip from a flask.
Watches her staff man their workstations.

Monsterburg walks up to her.
All smiles.

HONEY
What’s the word, hot stuff?

MONSTERBURG
The mice have taken the cheese.
SNAP.

HONEY
YES.
(raises her flask in a toast)
They have fallen into our TRAP.
The little chickies have come home to ROOST.

She drinks. Applause.
Excited chattering.

HONEY (CONT’D)
A toast to YOU.
The finest group of operatives
the world has EVER KNOWN.
(beat)
We are on the verge of COMPLETE CONTROL.
It is our MANIFEST DESTINY.

A HOT BABE in a nurse’s uniform
raises her hand.

HONEY (CONT’D)
Yes, Roxy?

ROXY
What about the children?

HONEY
Don’t worry.
All will be revealed soon.
How are they doing?

ROXY
They finally fell asleep.

HONEY
Outstanding.
(to Monsterburg)
Have you readied the chamber?

MONSTERBURG
Yes, my liege.
Despicable torture device is READY.

HONEY
Fan-TASTIC.
(sighs)
God, I love my work.
(to the room)
Alright, people. Places, PLEASE.
It’s SHOW-TIME.
(beat)
Do we have any of that
microwave popcorn left?