Leave The Bombing To Us

Happy Tuesday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 31 of NOWHERE GIRLS, the shit hits the fan when Homeland Security agents Cherry Nation and April Street are pursued by the FBI and assassin Irina Kolishnakov in a high-speed down the Hollywood freeway ... going in the wrong direction.


EXT. SANTA MONICA AIRPORT - ENTRANCE - NIGHT
Irina’s Porsche SPEEDS through the entrance.
RACES toward the helicopter.

Right behind her, a phalanx of
FBI VEHICLES ROAR into the airport, sirens WAILING.

INT. DWP VAN - CONTINUOUS
April and Cherry SLAM the door shut.
Go up to the front.

DWP Guy turns around.
Stares at them. Freaking out.

DWP GUY
The cops are here --

CHERRY
Try FBI.

DWP GUY
What have you gotten me INTO?

APRIL
Listen to me. We’re innocent.
We’re government agents who’ve been FRAMED,
and we need your help.

CHERRY
Yeah. And if you help us get out of this,
we’ll make sure you get a medal for bravery.

DWP GUY
A m-medal? Really?

APRIL
Oh, yeah. Forget about it.
(points)
That fence over there.
What’s on the other side of it?

DWP GUY
(looks)
Uh, Bundy.

APRIL
Perfect. We need to go through the fence
and get the fuck out of here, NOW. Got it?

ON THE TARMAC
The FBI vehicles surround the chopper.
Agents JUMP OUT, get behind their SUV’s.
Aim their weapons.

Sunday and Max take cover.
She raises a bullhorn to her lips.

SUNDAY
(electronic)
April Street and Cherry Nation,
THIS IS THE FBI.
Come out of the chopper NOW,
or we’ll SHOOT.

Silence.

SUNDAY (CONT’D)
This is your LAST CHANCE.
Come out NOW with your HANDS UP,
or we will COMMENCE FIRING.

Silence.

MAX
Shred ‘em?

SUNDAY
Like lettuce.

MAX
(to the agents)
FIRE.

The agents OPEN FIRE on the chopper.
SHREDDING it with bullets.
The fuselage is RIDDLED with bullet holes.

OFF TO THE SIDE
Irina sits in her coupe.
Watching the action.

IRINA
Shit, shit, SHIT --

IN THE VAN
They hear the MACHINE GUN FIRE.
April looks at DWP guy.

DWP GUY
Holy SHIT --

APRIL
Move over. I’m driving.

DWP GUY
Oh, no. I can’t let you --

Cherry PISTOL-WHIPS him, CRACK.
He falls over, THUD.

CHERRY
Sorry about that.

They push him into the back.
April gets in the driver’s seat.

Cherry pulls out a pair of UZIS.
Hands one to April.

She starts the engine.
JAMS it into gear --

APRIL
Cleared for take-off.

And HITS THE GAS.

EXT. SANTA MONICA AIRPORT - TARMAC - CONTINUOUS
The DWP van SHOOTS down the runway
with a SQUEAL of rubber.

THE FBI AGENTS
Turn. Look.

SUNDAY
That’s THEM. They’re GETTING AWAY.
AFTER THEM.

MAX
Go, go, go, GO --

They pile into their vehicles and PEEL RUBBER.
Irina’s car SHOOTS ahead of them like a rocket.

THE VAN
HITS the chain-link fence. SMASHES through it.
FLIES across the grass, BUMPS down over the curb.

EXT. BUNDY DRIVE - CONTINUOUS
The van HITS the street with a BANG.
Drives away.

IRINA’S CAR
SHOOTS through the broken fence,
followed by a phalanx of FBI VEHICLES,
Sirens WAILING, lights FLASHING.

IN SUNDAY’S CAR
She turns and looks at Max.

SUNDAY
Who the fuck is THAT?

MAX
Hell if I know. Paparazzi?

IN THE VAN
April STOMPS on the accelerator.
Cherry looks out the window.

CHERRY
They’re right BEHIND US.

APRIL
(sees something)
Aha. Freeway entrance --

CHERRY
That’s an EXIT -- going the WRONG WAY.

APRIL
Better buckle up.
It’s gonna be a BUMPY RIDE --

EXT. FREEWAY EXIT - CONTINUOUS
The van FLIES up the off-ramp.
Mostly deserted at this hour.

A car SWERVES out of the way,
HITS the embankment. CRASH.

IN THE VAN

APRIL
(looks in the mirror)
FUCK. And here comes the cavalry,
right behind us --

IN IRINA’S CAR
She STEPS on the gas,
SWERVES around oncoming traffic.

IRINA
Who do you think you are,
STARSKY AND HUTCH?

IN SUNDAY’S CAR
Max drives, navigates the car
around approaching vehicles.

MAX
Goddammit --

SUNDAY
Careful, WATCH OUT --

IN THE VAN
April navigates the traffic.
Looks at Cherry.

APRIL
What are you waiting for?
START SHOOTING.

CHERRY
But they’re FBI.

APRIL
They want to KILL US.

CHERRY
You gotta point.

She leans out the window.
Raises the Uzi.

CHERRY (CONT’D)
My country tis of thee --

EXT. TEN FREEWAY - NIGHT
Cherry leans out of the van.
FIRES the semi-automatic at
the cluster of FBI SUV’s
as the van SWERVES
through oncoming traffic,
SPRAYING bullet at them.

An SUV gets HIT.
The windshield EXPLODES with a POP.

Glass FLIES in the air.
It CRASHES into an oncoming truck, BANG.

BOOM. The vehicles EXPLODE
in a red-orange FIREBALL.

IRINA’S CAR
Swerves to the shoulder. ROARS ahead.
Catches up to the van.
She sticks an ASSAULT RIFLE out the window.
Starts SHOOTING.

IN THE VAN
April looks. Sees.

APRIL
MOTHERFUCKER --
She drives one-handed.
Points her Uzi out the window.

Starts FIRING at Irina’s car.

AERIAL POV
The cars drive, side by side,
shooting at each other.

Bullets PING off the Porsche.

IN THE VAN
A bullet ZINGS past April’s head.
CRACKS the windshield.

APRIL (CONT’D)
Okay. Now I’m MAD --

Cherry pulls a GRENADE out of her bag.

CHERRY
Don’t worry.
Leave the bombing to us.

AERIAL POV
The SUV’s follow the van,
Irina’s car alongside it.

ANGLE FROM THE SIDE --
Cherry climbs back out the window.
Sits on the ledge. Holds the grenade.
Takes aim. And THROWS it at the Porche.

IN IRINA’S PORCHE
She drives, firing at the van out the window.
The grenade lands on her lap, THWUP.
She looks at it. Opens her mouth.

IRINA
Oh, shi --

And it EXPLODES.

AERIAL POV
The Porche EVAPORATES in a million pieces.
BANG. Metal, debris, flesh, fire and smoke
FLY into the air.

IN THE VAN
April and Cherry high-five. SLAP palms.

CHERRY
Rock and ROLL.

APRIL
(looks in the rear view mirror)
One down, twenty to go.

CHERRY
Spoilsport.
(beat)
Hey. I’ve got an idea.
I’ll open the back doors.
All the shit back there
will fall out on them.

APRIL
That’s positively EVIL. DO IT.

INT. HONEY’S UNDERGROUND LAIR - AT THAT MOMENT
Monsterburg looks up from his workstation.
Stares at Honey, wide-eyed.
She looks at him, scowling.

HONEY
What’s wrong, Monsterburg?

MONSTERBURG
It’s Irina, she --

HONEY
WHAT?

MONSTERBURG
We’ve lost the signal.
I’m afraid she’s -- been terminated.

HONEY
God-DAMMIT. Fucking Russian ROULETTE
shit-for-brains DYKE-hard.
(beat)
What about Rock?
Have you heard from HIM?
MONSTERBURG

Not a peep.
(looks at his monitor)
But according to his key card,
he’s travelling due east,
right toward us.

HONEY
Then he must be following THEM.
(licks her lips)
Ah, I can almost TASTE it --

MONSTERBURG
If you’ll excuse me, Ma’am --
I hope this isn’t out of line,
but it almost seems like
this is a personal thing.

HONEY
You bet your hard drive it’s PERSONAL.

MONSTERBURG
Can I ask what happened?

HONEY
No, you CANNOT.
That’s on a 'need to ho' basis.
Just mind your business
and get back to work.
(eyes him appreciatively)
And when you have a minute.
Come back to my office.
I’d like to show you something.

MONSTERBURG
(hint of a smile)
A little -- show and tell?

HONEY
That’s on a 'need to blow' basis --