Hold Onto Your Labia

Hey there, crime kids. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 32 of NOWHERE GIRLS, it's the rip-roaring conclusion of the high-speed chase on the freeway when Homeland Security super-spy sisters Cherry Nation and April Street elude the FBI in their stolen DWP van ...


EXT. FREEWAY - NIGHT
The DWP van continues
swerving through oncoming traffic,
followed by the FBI convoy.

Vehicles SWERVE to avoid them.
A panel truck CRASHES into a Mini-Cooper.

INT. DWP VAN - MOVING - AT THAT MOMENT
Cherry stands in the back.
Holds onto a strap hanging from the ceiling.

Looks at the shelves lining the rear.
Then DWP Guy, still out cold.

CHERRY
Here goes nothing --

She raises her leg.
KICKS the rear doors.
They FLY OPEN.

INT. MAX’S SUV - MOVING - CONTINUOUS
Max and Sunday see the doors of the van open.

SUNDAY
What in the HELL are they doing?

MAX
SHIT. They’re going to start
DUMPING STUFF OUT --

INT. DWP VAN - MOVING - CONTINUOUS
Cherry GRABS a metal shelving unit
filled with pipes, tools and boxes of shit.
DRAGS it toward the open door --

CHERRY
I can’t believe I’m DOING THIS.

And SHOVES IT OUT.

EXT. TEN FREEWAY - CONTINUOUS
An FBI SUV gets HIT with the debris. SMASH.
Glass SPRAYS in the air.

The car SWERVES off into the embankment
and EXPLODES in a FIREBALL of FLAMES and BLACK SMOKE.

IN THE VAN
Cherry SCREAMS with delight.

CHERRY
Omigod was that COOL.

APRIL
Looks at Cherry in the rear view mirror.

APRIL
Good SHOT, baby. Get ‘em AGAIN.

CHERRY
GRABS another shelf.
Starts dragging it to the rear.

CHERRY
Once you start, you just can’t stop --

She SHOVES the metal unit OUT THE DOOR.

EXT. TEN FREEWAY - CONTINUOUS
Another FBI SUV gets HIT with the shelves, BANG.
The windshield EXPLODES. Glass SPRAYS.

The car JACK-KNIFES INTO THE AIR
and lands on the car behind it, SMASH.

Both cars do cartwheels onto the shoulder,
BANG, BANG, BANG -- then BURST into flames.

INT. MAX’S SUV - MOVING
Max swerves through oncoming traffic --
and flying debris.

MAX
We’re gonna get KILLED --

SUNDAY
Keep MOVING. We’ve got to GET THEM.

MAX
They’ve taken out three vehicles.
We’re NEXT.

SUNDAY
Stop being a wimp
and DRIVE THE FUCKING CAR.

INT. DWP VAN - MOVING - CONTINUOUS
Cherry GRABS the last shelving unit.
Starts to drag it, when DWP Guy wakes up.
He stares at her, incensed.

DWP GUY
What THE FUCK do you
think you’re DOING?

CHERRY
Shut up and DON’T MOVE, FAT BOY.

DWP GUY
You can’t DO THAT.
That’s CITY PROPERTY.

He LUNGES at her.
Cherry SOCKS him in the jaw, CRACK.

DWP FLIES into the wall,
BANG -- BOUNCES off, HITS the floor,
and ROLLS OUT THE BACK --

EXT. TEN FREEWAY - CONTINUOUS
DWP Guy’s body HITS the windshield
of Max’s SUV, THWUMP.

IN THE CAR

MAX
Holy fucking shit I CAN’T SEE.

SUNDAY
PULL OVER THE CAR --

Max takes his foot off the gas,
steers the car onto the shoulder.
SLAMS on the breaks.

DWP Guy rolls off, hits the ground, THUD.
Windshield now cracked. Smeared with blood.

MAX
Jesus fucking CHRIST.

SUNDAY
Don’t just SIT THERE. Go AFTER THEM.

MAX
(turns the wheel)
Alright, alright --
(HITS the gas)
Ball-bust much?

INT. DWP VAN - MOVING - CONTINUOUS
Cherry gets back in the passenger seat.
Looks at April, steering the car
through oncoming traffic.

APRIL
I’m gonna burst a fucking blood vessel.
Let’s pull off the freeway.

CHERRY
Yeah, good idea.
(looks in the rear view mirror)
Looks like they’re all gone,
but you never know --

APRIL
(turns the wheel)
Hold onto your labia --

EXT. TEN FREEWAY - ENTRANCE RAMP - CONTINUOUS
The van turns off the road,
approaches the entrance ramp,
but a GIANT TOW TRUCK
is barrelling RIGHT AT THEM.

IN THE VAN

APRIL
Holy SHIT --

She JERKS the wheel --

ON THE RAMP
And the van ROARS down the embankment,
BUMP-BUMPING over the rocks,
shelving and equipment FLYING out the back.

It HITS the bottom with a BANG.
Rolls into --

EXT. WEST LOS ANGLES - CUL-DE-SAC - NIGHT
A shitty, run-down street right next to the freeway.
The cheap seats. The van comes to a stop at the curb.

IN THE VAN
The engine SPUTTERS and dies.
April tries to start it.

It WHEEZES and COUGHS,
but won’t turn over.

APRIL
Just as well.

CHERRY
(looks out the window)
Look. There IS a god --

EXT. SHITTY BUNGALOW - NIGHT
Parked next to a decrepit old house
sits a giant, gleaming brand-new
HARLEY DAVIDSON CHOPPER.

IN THE VAN
April turns to Cherry.
Big smile.

APRIL
'It’s time to ride.'