Why Do You Think They Call It A Stiff?

Happy Thursday, hardboiled crime slicksters. Are you ready to get down and dirty? Violent and bloody? Then you've come to the right place, where the chicks are hot, the drinks are cold, and the bodies are dead ... at That Killing Feeling.

Onto today's joint from BLOOD GETS IN YOUR EYES, where things are getting a bit ... stiff.

Hooker Alona Tal's trick Gill Sherry has been kicked out of his house by his wife for cheating on her ... with Alona ... so now he's shown up on her doorstep, looking for love. Problem is, she's first got to hide the dead body in her room ...


INT. ALONA'S SHITTY HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT
A soft KNOCK-KNOCK-KNOCK at the door.
They all look at each other, scared.

GILL (O.C.)
Alona? Are you in there?
It’s me, Gill.
Donna kicked me out --

ALONA
(whispers)
What the fuck?
(goes to the door)
Right now’s not a good time, Gill.
I’m kinda busy.

BEGGAR
(whispers)
Gill? The teacher? The trick?
(off her nod)
Tell him to meet you in the bar,
we’ll get outta here, and you can do him.

GILL (O.C.)
Alona?

ALONA
I have company, Gill. Beggar’s here.
Meet me downstairs in the bar in a couple minutes, okay?

GILL (O.C.)
Okay, okay -- thank you, my love.
I’ll see you down in the bar.

BEGGAR
(looks at Holly)
Okay, we’re outta here.

HOLLY
What about --
(points at the body)
Him?

BEGGAR
Shit.
(thinks)
Under the bed.
(to Alona)
C’mon, help me.

ALONA
Over my dead --
(beat)
Okay.

Beggar and Alona each take an end of Oscar’s body.
Start to slide it toward the bed.

ALONA (CONT’D)
He’s so -- stiff.

BEGGAR
Why do you think they call it a fucking STIFF?

They start to push him under the bed,
but his stomach’s too big. Doesn’t quite fit.

ALONA
Shit.

BEGGAR
C’mon, PUSH.

Beggar and Alona put their hands on his side, and PUSH.
It doesn’t move.

BEGGAR (CONT'D)
HARDER.

They PUSH again. Nothing.

HOLLY
Let me try.

ALONA
You fucking kidding me?

BEGGAR
(stands back)
Be my guest.

Holly takes a few steps back,
races toward the body,
and KICKS it with animal strength.
It POPS under the bed, THWUNK.

ALONA
Holy shit.

BEGGAR
How did you --

HOLLY
(faint smile)
Used to play soccer.

Alona pulls the bedspread down, hiding it.

ALONA
Okay, you guys split.

Time for me to get in character.

BEGGAR
Oh, yeah? What character?

PUSH IN ON Alona.
Resigned to her fate.

ALONA
Used to be Lady Madonna --
(beat)
Now it’s Lady Macbeth.