My Alona

You say rainy days and Mondays let you down? Well, do you feel like doing something about it? Well, do you, punk? Ask yourself, do you feel lucky? Do you? Then why not get some quick, fast-acting hardboiled pulp relief ... at That Killing Feeling.

Onto today's joint from BLOOD GETS IN YOUR EYES, where the plot not only thickens, it congeals ...

Having escaped the bloody holdup at the corner liquor store, boozy screenwriter Holly Land makes it back to hooker Alona Tal's seedy motel room with the blood-splattered vodka. Meanwhile, prep school teacher Gill Sherry gets busted by his wife for sleeping with Alona, and gets kicked out of the house ...


EXT. VENICE BOARDWALK BACK ALLEY - NIGHT
Holly runs toward the street. Stops.
Sees a small cardboard box.
Puts the bottles in it.
Hurries on her way.

ON THE BOARDWALK
Holly walks carefully, looking around.
Sees a big CROWD gathering ahead.
POLICE OFFICERS. A NEWS VAN pulls up.

HOLLY
Holy shit.

She gets to entrance of the hotel.
Hurries up the stairs.

FEO
Sits on a nearby bench facing the hotel.
Fingers working madly on his BlackBerry.
He looks up. Sees her.

FEO
Same chick. Wouldn’t mind hitting that.

INT. ALONA’S SHITTY HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT
Alona sits on the bed. Beggar paces the room.
CLICKS his cell phone shut with disgust.

BEGGAR
Fucking Russian bastard --

A soft KNOCK-KNOCK-KNOCK at the door.

ALONA
Holly?

HOLLY (O.S.)
Yeah.

Beggar goes to the door. Opens it.
Holly comes in carrying her box.
Stares at them. Looking spooked.

ALONA
Holly? What’s wrong?

Holly goes to the bed. Sits.
Puts down the box. Stares.

HOLLY
There was -- a robbery.

Alona opens the box. Looks inside.
Takes out the vodka bottles.
Sees that they’re blood-splattered.

ALONA
What the hell HAPPENED?

BEGGAR
What did you DO?

Holly takes out a bottle of vodka.
Unscrews the cap.
Takes a long drink. Sighs.
Wipes her mouth.

HOLLY
I went to the liquor store --
a-and these gang-bangers robbed it --
(another drink)
And they, and they --

She breaks down. Sobbing.
Alona takes her in her arms.
Comforts her. Strokes her hair.

ALONA
There, there. It’s okay.

A siren WHOOP-WHOOPS outside.
Beggar goes to the window.
Opens it. Looks out.

BEGGAR
Holy fucking shit.
It's like an episode of COPS out there --

INT. GILL’S BUNGALOW - BATHROOM - AT THAT MOMENT
A cloud of steam swirls around the bathroom.
Behind the rippled glass of the door, we see a MALE FIGURE.

IN THE SHOWER
Gill is soaping and scrubbing himself.
His face stuck under the hot spray of water.
Eyes closed.

GILL
(sings, ala My Sharona)
M-m-m-my Alona ---

Soapy hands reach down.
Massaging his manhood. He smiles.

GILL (CONT’D)
Never gonna give it up,
never gonna stop,
such a dirty mind --

His body JERKS.

GILL (CONT'D)
Ooh, you make my motor run, motor run --

DONNA (O.C.)
GILL! Get THE FUCK out of the shower RIGHT NOW!

Gill’s eyes FLY OPEN.
He stops jerking off. What the fuck?
He turns off the water. Opens the shower door.

DONNA
Stands in the bathroom doorway.
Eyes blazing.

GILL
What’s wrong?
Jesus Christ, you scared the fucking shit out of me.

He grabs a towel.
Wraps it around his waist.

DONNA
I called Sheila, Brub’s wife --

GILL
What?

DONNA
(hisses)
You didn’t have drinks with him.
He’s HOME SICK.

GILL
Did I say Brub? I mean Bob --

She holds up a pair of his underwear.

DONNA
And I found these in the hamper.
They’re ENCRUSTED with COME STAINS.

GILL
Donna, I can EXPLAIN --

DONNA
Bull-fucking SHIT.
You’ve been fucking CHEATING ON ME AGAIN,
and I want you OUT OF MY FUCKING HOUSE -- NOW!

GILL
Wait, can’t we talk about this?

DONNA
(screams)
What the FUCK is there to TALK ABOUT?
You’re screwing ANOTHER WOMAN, AGAIN.
(hisses)
If it’s one of your fucking students,
I swear I’m gonna call the cops myself.
(STOMPS her foot)
Get the FUCK out of my house, NOW.

GILL
But --

Donna GRABS a bottle of shampoo.
THROWS it at him.
It HITS him in the chest, THWAP.

DONNA
GET OUT! NOW!

GILL
Okay, ALRIGHT.
(eyes tearing up)
No need for you get violent --