Balls For Breakfast

Happy Thursday, crimebusters. Are you ready for another steaming slab of hardboiled pulp, served with a side order of violence? Then pack your piece, slap on your ski mask, and head on over to the most twisted place in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

Onto today's joint from BLOOD GETS IN YOUR EYES, where the plot is about to get thicker ...

Boozy screenwriter Holly Land has left the hotel to get more booze, while hooker Alona Tal and drug dealer Beggar Leck deal with agent Oscar Goldman's dead body in her room. Meanwhile, Oscar's assistant Feo is right outside, urgently looking for him, because he has a script that MUST be read tonight ...


EXT. VENICE BOARDWALK - STARLIGHT HOTEL - NIGHT
Holly walks out the front entrance. Stops. Looks at --

A STREET PERFORMER (30’s), a small, compact black guy,
wearing nothing but a black thong and sneakers, hair tied back in a bun.
Ambling down the boulevard. Commuting home.

She stares. Shakes her head.
Turns. Starts walking.

Coming right toward her is a FILM BIZ ASSISTANT (25),
geeky in a black suit and tie.
Carrying a big envelope. He sees Holly.

FILM BIZ ASSISTANT
Excuse me, Miss -- ?

HOLLY
(stops)
Yeah?

FILM BIZ ASSISTANT
Is there a hotel near here?

HOLLY
(points behind her)
Yeah. The Starlight.
Just a few doors down.

She weaves a little.
Tries for a smile.

FILM BIZ ASSISTANT
(looks, sees it)
Thanks.

HOLLY
Sure.

Holly continues walking.
He watches her.

FILM BIZ ASSISTANT
God, I love this neighborhood.

INT. THE STARLIGHT HOTEL - FRONT DESK - NIGHT
A tiny room. Beyond old and weathered. Peeling paint.
A single desk lamp shines over --

THE CLERK (50’s), a tall, skinny, strange-looking ex-hippie
with a shock of long white hair. Bad false teeth. A hawk-like nose.
Which right now has a finger in it, digging for gold.

Meet BUNKY MERTZ, glory days now long-gone.
Natty in a tie-dyed Grafeful Dead T-shirt and parachute pants.

Film Biz walks up to the counter.
Sees Bunky. Looks worried.

BUNKY
Evenin’. Can I help you?

FILM BIZ ASSISTANT
Hi. I’m looking for my boss.
He’s a guest at your --
(looks around distastefully)
Hotel.

BUNKY
What’s his name?

FILM BIZ ASSISTANT
Oscar Goldman.

BUNKY
(opens the register)
When did he check in?

FILM BIZ ASSISTANT
Last night.

Bunky scans the names with a long, nicotine-stained finger.

BUNKY
Goldman, Goldman --
(finishes)
Nope. No Goldman.

FILM BIZ ASSISTANT
Did you did that kinda quickly.
Do you mind checking again?

BUNKY
Only one person checked in tonight.
(squints)
Greta Bruckheimer.
(grins)
German tourist.

FILM BIZ ASSISTANT
(to himself)
Shit. That’s right --
(to Bunky)
Wait a minute.
He was visiting a guest of yours,
not checking in.
Maybe you saw him.
He’s average height, dark hair,
wearing an expensive suit?

BUNKY
Sorry, just got here.
I’m the night man.

FILM BIZ ASSISTANT
(sighs)
Okay. Thanks --
(pulls out his card, gives it)
If you see him,
would you please call me?
It’s REALLY urgent.

BUNKY
(nods)
Will do.
(smiles)
Have a good night, man.
(watches him leave, under his breath)
Yuppie capitalist pig --

EXT. STARLIGHT HOTEL - NIGHT - MOMENTS LATER
Film Biz stands on the boardwalk talking on his BlackBerry.

FILM BIZ ASSISTANT
Hey, it’s Feo. I’m flipping out here.
I’ve got the new Parker script
for Oscar to read tonight,
and I can’t find him.
Did he call Nigel,
say where he was going?
(listens)
Shit.
(listens)
Yeah, the new Parker script.
You know what’s gonna happen
if I DON’T get it to him tonight?
(listens)
'Balls for breakfast' doesn't BEGIN to cover it.