Safe, Suburban Hell

Happy Friday, gunslingers. Do you know where your children are? Your spouse? Your parents? Your best friend? Well, they're all right here, at the coolest hardboiled crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

Onto today's joint from BLOOD GETS IN YOUR EYES, where things are about to get a bit ... perverted.

Drug dealer Beggar Leck has called his friend 'Vlad The Impaler' to come get rid of the dead body in hooker Alona Tal's seedy hotel room ... but before Vlad can come and help dispose of the corpse, he and his goth squeeze Anya prepare to rob a dungeon ...


INT. CLUB FETISH - NIGHT
Nasty, filthy club music over --

A catacomb of perverted horrors run amok.
A labyrinthine maze of cubicles,
each contained unspeakable acts of depravity.

IN ONE STALL
A MAN (50’s) lies in a bathtub, naked.
A group of CLUB PATRONS
stand in a circle and pee on him.

IN ANOTHER STALL
A WOMAN (20’s) lies on a table.
Bound and gagged.

A GIANT DOM raise a cat ‘o nine tails,
CRACKS IT against her pale flesh.

IN THE DJ BOOTH
The DJ (30’s),
hair scooped into red devil horns,
nods to the music,
SNORTS a fat line of meth.

IN ANOTHER STALL
A MAN IN A DIAPER,
on his hands and knees,
licks the boots of a
GORGEOUS DOMINATRIX (40’s).
She JERKS his leash. Laughing.

VLAD AND ANYA
Stroll through the Dionysian splendor like gods.
Regal. Inspecting the display of twisted desires.

ANYA
It is, how they say in New York,
‘bridge and tunnel.’

VLAD
Well, we ARE behind Orange Curtain.

They chuckle. Stop.
Watch the GIANT DOM at work.

ANYA
(shaking her head)
No finesse. No -- style.
Is like Gitmo.
No imagination.

VLAD
That may be --
but Little Miss Muffet will get welt on her tuffet,
and she will go home to safe suburban hell
with naughty memory --

They continue walking.

ANYA
I see your point.
Is like MacDonald’s of dungeons.

Vlad stops.
Puts one hand on Anya’s breast.
The other on her throat.

Pushes her up against the wall.
Smiles, evil.

Anya swoons with pleasure.
Licks her lips. Eyes flashing.

VLAD
Enough of field trip.
You ready to rock n’ rolla,
my dark goddess?

ANYA
Take me to cash machine, bab-ya.

She pulls out her gun.
Rubs it on his crotch.

He pulls out his.
Sticks it in her mouth.

VLAD
Is what I love about you.
(beat)
What I call -- stimulus package.