Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Deck The Fucking Halls

Happy Hump Day, crimestoppers. You say your feeling a bit down? Frustrated with life? Angry as hell, and can't take it anymore? Then get your asses over to the coolest hardboiled-pulp crime joint in cyberspace, where the action is HOT ... at That Killing Feeling.

Onto today's fresh, steaming joint from LITTLE GIRL BLUE, where things are picking up steam.

Private eye Carrie Love gets a voicemail on her cell phone from her mother that her brother was just killed in a hit and run accident ... on Christmas Eve, no less ... but since she and her little bro didn't get along, she postpones dealing with it, and instead decides to follow her new client, amateur stripper/college coed Blue Wonder, who is in the company of Tolly Chill, the strip club manager, as something is just 'not right' about him ...


EXT. FANTASY ISLAND STRIP CLUB - PARKING LOT - NIGHT
A black SUPER-STRETCH LIMO sits idling.
The DRIVER gets out. Opens the rear door.
Stands at attention.

Nearby, Carrie sits in her ‘68 OLDSMOBILE DELTA 88 CONVERTIBLE.
Pulls out her cell phone. Checks her voice mail.

CARRIE’S MOTHER (V.O.)
Carrie, it’s your mother --
(gasps)
Tad -- was in a -- car accident,
a drunk driver hit him -- he, he --
(beat)
He’s dead, Carrie. Oh, my god -- he’s DEAD.
On CHRISTMAS. You have to come home, NOW.
Call me as soon as you get this message, okay?
Call me, RIGHT AWAY.

CLICK.

CARRIE
Shit.

TOLLY AND BLUE
Walk toward the limo. Get in.
Driver closes the door.

CARRIE
Turns the key in the ignition.
The V8 engine ROARS.

CARRIE (CONT’D)
You can choose your friends --

EXT. 10 FREEWAY - LIMO - MOVING - NIGHT
The super-stretch cruises east in the fast lane.

BEHIND THE LIMO
We see Carrie’s white whale tailing it, two cars back.

ANGLE ON --
Carrie. Driving. Cigarette dangling from her lip.

CARRIE (V.O.)
I had a funny feeling about Tolly Chill.
Something just wasn’t right.
So I decided to keep an eye on Little Girl Blue.
I always feel protective of youth and innocence.
Part of my code.
(beat)
I hadn’t spoken to my brother Tad in eight years.
Little fucker was a right-wing, born-again Christian.
Didn’t approve of my ‘lifestyle.’
That’s a good one, huh?
My YOUNGER BROTHER didn’t approve of --
(beat)
Sanctimonious little shit.
(beat)
My father and I had been on the outs for a long time.
We finally reconciled -- right before he died.
Told me that while we were in Splitsville,
he had made a fortune -- and that he was sorry,
but he had given all his money to his new wife --
and my brothers Tad and Seth.
That it was an irrevocable trust,
and he couldn’t change it.
My mother and I were left out in the cold.
(beat)
I told him it didn’t matter.
It wasn’t about the money.
I was just glad to have him back in my life.

Carrie FLICKS her cigarette into the night.

CARRIE (V.O.) (CONT'D)
Now, a few years later --
I gotta confess, it eats at me sometimes.
I’ve had to scratch and claw to survive in the world,
while my brothers have lived in the lap of luxury.
(beat)
They each got eight million.
My stepmother got fifteen.
And the house on the coast.
And the yacht. The condo in the Bahamas --
(beat)
I’ll call her tomorrow.
Tell her my battery was dead.
Takes a little time for me to fake grief.

Carrie pulls out a flask. Takes a long pull.

CARRIE (CONT’D)
What the fuck kinda name is Tolly Chill anyway?
Sure as hell isn’t one of the good guys.

EXT. LAUREL CANYON - MANSION - NIGHT
A swingin’ jazz version of some Christmas tune over --

A futuristic mansion at the top of Laurel Canyon.
A pool to the side of the joint juts out on stilts into the sky.
The skyline glitters down below. Clear. Crisp. Gorgeous.

A big party is in full-swing.
The landscape is dotted with GUESTS milling about.
Music plays on hidden loudspeakers.
Festive holiday decorations abound.

Christmas in Hollywood.

IN THE FRONT
The super-stretch pulls up to the VALETS.
One of them opens the door.
Tolly and Blue step out.

BLUE
This is -- amazing.

TOLLY
Welcome to paradise, baby.
Hot and cold running pleasure.
Deck the fucking halls.
(beat)
Excuse my French --

DOWN THE STREET
Carrie parks the Olds. Gets out. Starts walking.

INT. MANSION - BALLROOM - NIGHT
A groovy world beat throbs over --

A cavernous space, art-directed to death.
Glossy, outre environs.
The kinda joint you see in coffee table books.
Like the UN of swinging parties.

ROCK MUSICIANS, POLITICIANS, WEALTHY INDUSTRIALISTS,
HEDGE FUND HIPSTERS, PRO ATHLETES, FASHIONISTAS
mingle and chatter with cocktails.

Tolly leads Blue through the crowd, in a daze.
He stops in front of a group of guests in a small cluster.

TOLLY
Everybody, I’d like you to meet Blue.
She’s my honored guest this evening.
Ripe for the picking, and available to the highest bidder.
Talk about a stocking stuffer.
(off her look)
I’m KIDDING.

A bleached blonde ROCK STAR looks her over. Smiles.

BLEACHED BLONDE ROCK STAR
Hey, babe. Maybe later on we can shake our tail feathers.
Find some mistletoe.

BLUE
Ohmigod. I’m a -- big fan.

BLEACHED BLONDE ROCK STAR
That makes two of us.

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