Need-To-Know Basis

Ah, Sunday. A day of rest. Well, for some people -- but not his hardboiled chick. Got places to rob, people to kill. Gotta busy day ahead of me. Seems someone handcuffed me to a suitcase nuke, and I've got until dawn to deliver it, or else my family will be killed ...

Didn't screen a crime film last night. Had a production meeting and scouted locations for my film noir A DISH BEST KILLED. Met with an awesome director and actor (you know who you are) who might just help me bring this sucker to the big screen. We watched A NEW TOMORROW, my first film, a political mockumentary (the story wasn't my idea, but I wrote the sucker), and I must say, it holds up. A bit uneven, but it plays well, and has lots of innapropriate laffs.

Well, you know me ...

Onto today's big, heaping slab of spy thriller outrage in the form of NOWHERE GIRL ...

First up, a pretty nifty action set piece involving April Street being purused by her ex-boss ... and then, we meet Cherry Nation's ex ... Shag Holliday ...

EXT. SUNSET BOULEVARD - NIGHT
A HELICOPTER appears overhead.
April looks up.

APRIL
Whoah. He’s REALLY mad.

She pulls a GRENADE out of her pocket,
and, like a pitcher at the World Series --
HURLS it at the squad car.

BOOM.
It EXPLODES in a massive FIREBALL.
April JUMPS in the SUV,
and TAKES OFF in a SCREECH of rubber.

The chopper follows, SPRAYING the SUV
with MACHINE GUN FIRE.

INT. SUV - MOVING - CONTINUOUS
April feels around under the driver’s seat.

APRIL
Let’s hope he’s got some samples of the merchandise.

She pulls out a huge TACTICAL ASSAULT WEAPON.

APRIL (CONT’D)
Bingo.

April GUNS THE ENGINE.

EXT. SUNSET BOULEVARD - SUV - MOVING - CONTINUOUS
The car reaches an area full of warehouses, soundstages, strip malls.
The grungy part of Hollywood.

The car HITS a hard right at an intersection,
tires SCREECHING, and FLIES down an alley,
the chopper following.

INT. SUV - MOVING - CONTINUOUS
April sees the loading dock of a warehouse.
She pulls up to it. STOPS.
JUMPS out of the car with the gun.

A crew of WORKERS watch her.
Approach the car.

ANGRY WORKER
Hey, lady. You can’t park here.

SURPRISED WORKER
Shit! She’s got a gun!

The chopper ROARS above them.
Machine guns FIRING.

APRIL
(above the roar)
Stand back! Homeland Security!

She runs into the alley, and FIRES up at the helicopter --
RAT-A-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT-
TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT!

UP ABOVE
The chopper EXPLODES in what is now
the requisite massive fireball of flames and smoke.
It CRASHES on the roof of a nearby building,
which IMPLODES.

April lowers her weapon.
Smiles grimly.

EXCITED WORKER
A hot chick like you is Homeland Security?

SMILING WORKER
Where those terrorists?

APRIL
Sorry, fellas. That’s on a need-to-know basis.

EXT. VENICE BEACH BUNGALOW - NIGHT
A lovely 100-year-old Craftsman on a leafy walkway street.
Lit by old-fashioned lampposts.
Steps away from the sand.

INT. BUNGALOW - BEDROOM - CONTINUOUS
Two cute little GIRLS (5) and (7) sleep peacefully.

INT. BUNGALOW - KITCHEN - NIGHT
A MAN rummages in the fridge. Looking for a snack.
He pulls out his cell phone. PUNCHES a number.

Meet SHAG HOLIDAY (35), who if you remember,
is the person we heard Cherry speaking to at the top of the story.
Buff and cut. Too good-looking to be a shower head salesman.

Which is why he's actually a CIA operative.
Oh, and he’s also Cherry’s recent ex.

He RIPS off a turkey leg. Listens.

SHAG
Hey, it’s me.

INTERCUT WITH: INT. JUMBO’S CLOWN ROOM - NIGHT - AT THAT MOMENT
A seedy stripper hangout on the Sunset Strip.
Weird psychobilly on the jukebox.
A sign reeds NO TOP, NO SERVICE.

Cherry sits in a booth with Peeler.
Both have the remnants of burgers and coffee on the table.
Cherry talks on her cell.

CHERRY
Shag.
(beat)
Ohmigod, I forgot to call you.

SHAG
It’s okay. I just wanted to make sure you were -- okay.

CHERRY
Are you checking up on me AGAIN?
(beat)
I’m sorry, I didn’t mean -- it’s been --
(looks at Peeler)
Quite an evening.

SHAG
Something happen?

CHERRY
You could say that.

SHAG
What, your flight get delayed?

Pause.

CHERRY
There was a -- luggage incident.

SHAG
A 'luggage incident?'
What happened?
Are you okay?

CHERRY
I’m fine.
Someone gave me a briefcase by mistake and then split.
Then it turned out that some people want it --

She looks at Peeler.
He shrugs. Go for it.

SHAG
Someone gave you a briefcase -- by MISTAKE?
What have you gotten yourself into?
Are these people chasing you now?

CHERRY
No, no, no. I’m -- delivering it to them.
Then I’m on a plane, promise.
Gotta be at the club tomorrow.
(brightly)
How are the girls?
Did you tuck them in?

SHAG
The girls are fine.
Don’t deflect, Cherry.
I need to know what you --

CHERRY
NO, YOU DON’T.
This is MY life, Shag.
Thank you for watching the kids,
I owe you one.
But what we had is OVER,
and you have NO RIGHT
to give me the third degree.
I’ll call you tomorrow, BYE.

INT. JUMBO’S CLOWN ROOM - CONTINUOUS
Cherry hangs up. Looks at Peeler. Rolls her eyes.

PEELER
That was your ex.

CHERRY
It was that obvious.

PEELER
Hey. Universal language of love.