Happy summer solstice, crime victims. Come out of the light and into the dark. There's a stripper on the run and really hot espionage vixen awaiting you in NOWHERE GIRL. Come along for the ride. If you dare ...Screened a thing of beauty last night. Peter Yakes THE FRIENDS OF EDDIE COYLE, from '73, with Bobby Mitchum, Peter Boyle and the great Alex Rocco. Subperb, hardboiled crimester about selling guns, robbing banks, double crossing, and drinking. Ha. Think I might watch it again tonight with the commentary, that's how much I loved it.
Onto today's blast from NOWHERE GIRL. Homeland Security agent April Street arrives at the scene, and all hell breaks loose ...
INT. AIRPORT BAR - LAX - DUSK
The door FLIES OPEN. April RACES into the room.
WHIRLS AROUND. Stops. Holds up her badge.
APRIL
Homeland Security, everybody FREEZE!
People stop talking. Look.
April pulls out a photograph.
Starts showing it around.
APRIL (CONT’D)
Has anyone here seen THIS MAN?
It’s a matter of national security.
April shows it to the bartender.
He shakes his head ‘no.’
She goes to Cherry and Peeler’s table.
CHERRY
Ohmigod.
APRIL
You SAW him? He was HERE?
Cherry slowly puts the briefcase on the table.
April stares at it, at the handcuffs.
Then looks at Cherry more closely.
Their resemblance.
APRIL (CONT’D)
I’m afraid you’re going to have to come with me, Miss.
CHERRY
But he said he’d hurt my family if I didn’t --
The wall of windows EXPLODES in a HAIL OF BULLETS.
Cherry and Peeler JUMP, hide under a table.
April HITS the floor, ROLLS away.
Slides behind the bar.
Pulls out twin giant SIG SAUER HANDGUNS
and starts FIRING.
Cherry and Peeler start crawling toward the entrance.
Two HUGE GOONS in black BOUND IN.
A red DOT appears on the forehead of the first one.
His head EXPLODES in a red mist.
APRIL
Smiles. Takes aim at --
THE OTHER GOON
Who FIRES at April.
She DUCKS behind the bar.
CHERRY AND PEELER
Make it to the doorway.
Crawl away.
THE GOON
RACES toward the bar.
SPRAYING his Uzi.
Bottles FLY, SMASH.
BEHIND THE BAR
April crawls to the end.
GRABS a baseball bat.
THE GOON
Stealthily creeps up toward the end of the bar, where --
APRIL
CRACKS him on the head.
The goon goes down, THWUMP.
APRIL
Sorry, fella -- seventh inning stretch.
She looks around.
Sees that Cherry is gone.
APRIL (CONT’D)
Shit.
And RACES toward the door.
INT. AIRPORT CORRIDOR - AT THAT MOMENT
A drum-and-bass big-beat by The Crystal Method PUMPS over --
Cherry and Peeler.
TEARING ASS down the moving walkway.
The briefcase BANGING against the railing.
PEELER
Where are we going?!
CHERRY
The fuck OUTTA here!
CAMERA FLIES BACKWARD, WHIPS AROUND --
So that we see April at the other end.
She SEES THEM.
APRIL
Motherfucker.
And she starts TEARING ASS after them.
CHERRY AND PEELER
Reach the end of the moving sidewalk.
A sign reads BAGGAGE CLAIM.
Cherry GRABS Peeler’s hand.
JERKS HIM toward it.
CHERRY
C’mon!
They CLATTER down the stairs.
APRIL
Reaches the end of the sidewalk.
Looks around.
APRIL
Shit.
Think, think, think --
She sees the sign.
RUNS to the top of the stairs,
sees Cherry and Peeler going down,
and TAKES OFF after them.
CHERRY AND PEELER
Hit the bottom.
Cherry BANGS into a porter. OOF.
PORTER
HEY!
CHERRY
Sorry!
She GRABS Peeler’s hand,
and they RACE AWAY.
PORTER
SLOW DOWN, bitch!
APRIL
BANGS into the porter.
PORTER (CONT'D)
OW, hey!
He GRAPPLES her in a bear hug.
APRIL
Let me GO.
The porter SQUEEZES TIGHTER.
PORTER
You gotta SLOW DOWN, lady!
APRIL
I’m a GOVERNMENT AGENT.
PORTER
Bull-shit.
She FLINGS his arms away.
CRACKS him in the jaw. THWUMP.
Notices a crowd of ONLOOKERS.
Shows her ID.
APRIL
Homeland Security.
Keeping America safe.
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