They Shoot Lawyers, Don't They?

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Thursday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 32 of A Dish Best Killed, Haven goes the reading of her murdered husband's will, and tangles with his first wife, who's not happy that Haven's getting all his money ...


INT. LAW FIRM CONFERENCE ROOM - DAY
Haven sits alone at the end of
a long, long conference table.

At the other end are a trio
of STONE-FACED ATTORNEYS.

Also at the table are
Dart’s FIRST WIFE (80’s),
a haggard-looking
vulture of a woman.
Beady eyes flickering.

Needless to say, the air
is thick with anticipation.

Haven picks up a
cut-glass goblet of water.
Takes a tiny sip.

HAWK-NOSED ATTORNEY
(reading from the will)
-- and I bequeath my entire
estate to my second wife, Haven.

Haven blinks rapidly.
The slightest trace
of a smile cracks.

Nasty First Wife BANGS
the table with her fist.

NASTY FIRST WIFE
That’s NOT FAIR.
I was with him for FIFTY YEARS.
I was there when we was STARVING.

HAWK-NOSED ATTORNEY
Quiet, please.

NASTY FIRST WIFE
(stands, SLAPS the table)
NO! I will NOT be QUIET!
There must be some MISTAKE!
(points)
There’s no way in HELL he
left all his money to that WHORE!

Haven stares at her.
Blank-faced.

OILY ATTORNEY
Please, Ma’am. I don’t
want have to call security.

Nasty PULLS OUT her chair.
RACES over to Haven.

Oily picks up the phone.
Speaks softly into it.
Nods. Hangs up.

NASTY FIRST WIFE
(gets in Haven’s face)
HARLOT. SLUT. You just
married him for his MONEY.

HAVEN
Get the fuck out of my
face, you old bag.

NASTY FIRST WIFE
(spits on Haven’s face)
Fucking CUNT.

Haven JUMPS UP. SMACKS
Nasty on the face, HARD.

A pair of BEEFY SECURITY GUARDS
race in. GRAB her.

NASTY FIRST WIFE (CONT’D)
Let GO OF ME.
You CAN’T DO THIS.

HUGE SECURITY GUARD
I’m afraid you’re going
to have to come with us.

The guards drag her out,
KICKING and SCREAMING.

Haven takes out a handkerchief.
Wipes her face.

HAVEN
I’m sorry for that --
outburst a moment ago.
I, I -- lost my temper.

HAWK-NOSED ATTORNEY
I think you showed
remarkable restraint.

OILY ATTORNEY
Indeed. I thought you were
going to deck the bitch.

PUSH IN ON Haven.
The barest hint of a smile.

HAVEN
I can’t imagine what
he ever saw in her --