Forgive and Forget is For Suckers

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Friday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 23 of A DISH BEST KILLED, Jett discovers to her horror that Haven is two-timing her with sheriff's deputy Trimmer Waltz, and that they're planning on running off with the insurance money from her dead husband ...


INT. CRAYCE HOUSEBOAT - GALLEY - MORNING
Haven’s at the bar. Mixing champagne
and OJ in a pitcher.

HAVEN
Silly. It’s never too early for a MIMOSA.
(turns, to someone off-camera)
We have to celebrate.

MALE VOICE (O.C.)
The king is dead. Long live the queen.

Haven picks up the drinks, walks over to --

TRIMMER WALTZ
seated on the couch.
Splayed out like he owns the joint.

TRIMMER
(takes a drink, smiles)
Thank you, my love.
(pats the couch)
Come sit next to me, my little firecracker.

Haven sits next to him. Sips her drink.

HAVEN
Who you calling a firecracker?

TRIMMER
I can’t believe it. We’re almost done.
(beat)
When’s the reading of the will?

HAVEN
Tomorrow.

TRIMMER
Eight-hundred thousand smackeroos.
(toasts)
Here’s to that cabin up in Big Bear.

They CLINK. Sip.

HAVEN
I know we talked about Big Bear,
but I was thinking --

TRIMMER
Whoah. That could be dangerous.

HAVEN
Shut up. Listen to me.
(sips)
I think it might be better
if we went to Mexico. You know,
one of those little fishing towns
on the coast, like in
That Killing Feeling.

TRIMMER
But I don’t speak Spanish --

OUTSIDE ON THE DECK
Jett stands near the open window,
shade down, listening.

IN THE GALLEY
Haven gets up. Goes to the bar,
fixes another drink.

HAVEN
I just think it would be -- safer.
The cops couldn’t touch us.

TRIMMER
That’s true.
(finishes his drink)
Tell you what. We’ll think about it.
(beat)
And what about Ms. Targo?
(nasty laugh)
Or should I say MR. Targo --

HAVEN
Nola’s body. I find out where she’s stashed it --
and then you tip off Detective Seely.

TRIMMER
You’re an evil genius, baby.
(beat)
But you know that.

HAVEN
(evil grin)
Takes one to know one.

TRIMMER
I gotta ask you something.
(beat)
Didn’t you like it --
at least a little bit -- when that buff,
young specimen went down on you?

HAVEN
What the fuck?

TRIMMER
Well, they say only a woman
knows what another woman wants --

OUTSIDE ON THE DECK
Jett blinks back tears. Turns.
Quietly walks away. Head down.

IN THE GALLEY
Haven DOWNS her cocktail.
Starts fixing another.

HAVEN
Don’t be ridiculous.

TRIMMER
It’s okay, baby. I find it --
kind of a turn-on.
(eyes narrow)
If things were different,
I might just wanna -- join in.

HAVEN
(snorts)
As if.

TRIMMER
Excuse me?

She takes a sip. Lights a smoke.
Crosses over to him.

HAVEN
You think she was my first?
(laughs)
That’s what all you guys want.
To 'join in.'
(beat)
Fucking creepy.

Trimmer stares. Be careful here.

TRIMMER
Hey, now -- I was just kidding, baby doll.
Just tryin’ to get a rise out of you.
Let’s not fight.

HAVEN
You started it.

He gets up. Puts his arms around her.

TRIMMER
I’m sorry.
(touches her chin)
You forgive me, baby?

PUSH IN ON Haven. Faint smile.
Eyes off somewhere else.

HAVEN
Forgive and forget is for suckers --