Monday, May 1, 2017

A Mission From God


Hey there, crime kids. Happy Monday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 27 of ZOMBIE & JULIET, Rommy, Brick, Cosmo and the rest of the revolutionaries make their way through a subway tunnel under the Republic of Manhattan, but get accosted by a horde of homeless zombies ...


INT. SUBWAY TUNNEL - NIGHT
Most of the lights are out.
It’s eerie. Rats scurry about.
The hand truck rolls down
the tracks in the dim light.

ROMMY
(reads the number on the wall)
Thirty-fourth street.

BRICK
What street is she on?

Rommy closes his eyes.
Rubs them with his fists. Thinks.

ROMMY
Uh, seventy-fifth and fifth.
Right on the park.

BRICK
You feeling okay?

ROMMY
(looks at him)
Well, let’s see.
My eyes are watering,
I’m burning up with a fever,
and it hurts when I breathe.
(beat)
Just peachy.

JAG
(sees something)
We got a problem, chief.

BRICK
(turns, looks)
Shit.

UP AHEAD
Is a crude ROADBLOCK made of wooden crates,
trash cans and big piles of garbage.
A fire burns dimly behind it.

THE HAND TRUCK
Slows to a stop in front of it.

ROMMY
What the fuck do we do NOW?

ANGRY MALE VOICE (O.C.)
HALT. Who goes there?

BRICK
We need to get through.
We’re on a mission from God.

ANGRY MALE VOICE (O.C.)
There IS no GOD.

A FILTHY, BEARDED HOMELESS SKELL emerges
from the edge of the barrier carrying a spear.
Infected. Badly. About to turn.

FILTHY, BEARDED HOMELESS SKELL
If there was, we wouldn’t have been
cast out of society to die a living DEATH.

ROMMY
Okay, so you’re infected.
We get it. I’M infected.
But we’ve got a vaccine for the virus.

BRICK
That’s right. And we need to get through
so we can get the word out to the people.
Like you --

FILTHY, BEARDED HOMELESS SKELL
You have a VACCINE? GIVE IT TO ME.

ROMMY
My friends, uh -- used it all up.
But we’re gonna make a new batch. Promise.

FILTHY, BEARDED HOMELESS SKELL
I don’t BELIEVE YOU.

And right before their eyes, he TURNS
into a RABID, CHATTERING ZOMBIE.

He THROWS his spear -- which
WHIZZES THROUGH THE AIR and
HITS Monster in the leg.

MONSTER
OWWW --

BRICK
GET ‘EM.

Jag WHIPS OUT his Uzi.
SPRAYS him with bullets.

His skeletal body JERKS like
a puppet in a dance of death.

FALLS to the ground in a
gooey puddle of flesh and bones.

MONSTER
(YANKS the spear out)
Fucking homeless zombie piece of SHIT.

Brick hops off the truck.
Pulls a grenade out of his pocket.

BRICK
Stand back. I’m gonna blow
a hole in that rat-trap.

Just then, a GROUP OF INFECTED HOMELESS SKELLS
charges at them from around the barricade.

Spears go WHIZZING through the air.
One of them HITS Reno in the chest, THWUNK.

RENO
UH --

Jag OPENS FIRE on them in
a hail of MACHINE GUN FIRE --
SHREDDING them to ribbons.
He sighs. Checks the gun magazine.

JAG
That’s it for the ammo.

BRICK
Great. Just great --
(to Reno)
Are you okay?

Reno looks down at the spear
that’s gone right through her.

Feels around behind her
where it sticks out in the back.

RENO
I’m -- okay.
(looks down)
Just a little -- heartburn.

BRICK
Let me pull it out.

ROMMY
No, DON’T. Pulling it out might KILL her.

RENO
Well, that’s just great.
So I’m supposed to walk around
like a human pin-cushion?

BRICK
Zip it. You’re alive. Be grateful.
(beat)
Everybody take cover.

Everybody gets behind the hand truck, ducks down.
Brick HURLS the grenade at the barricade.

It EXPLODES, BANG. Debris goes
FLYING IN THE AIR, pelting the tunnel.

They get back up on the truck.
Hammer takes Monster’s place.

Monster wraps a rag around his leg.
Pulls it TIGHT. Grimaces.

BRICK (CONT’D)
Alright, let’s MOVE IT.

They start pumping the handles.
The cart starts moving.

ROMMY
(to Gaga)
How you holding up?

GAGA
Well, considering my family is dead,
we’re trapped in a subway tunnel,
and I just saw someone mow down
a pack of rabid zombies
with a semi-automatic weapon --
(beat)
Can I get back to you on that?

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