Wednesday, December 9, 2015
Hey there, crime kids. Happy Hump Day. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.
In Chapter 20 of BABY HEISTER, Kesley and Doc meet with Freddie Fingers about his armored car heist ... and the 'inside man,' Tillie Sackler, a diner waitress, who turns out to a complete nightmare ...
EXT. DAIRY SHACK - NIGHT
Crickets CHIRP off somewhere
in the night air.
It’s still hot out.
The gang sits around a big picnic table
off to the side of the restaurant
eating ice cream.
It’s a piece a cake, I tell ya.
Meet FREDDIE FINGERS (50’s), small, squirrelly.
Pockmarked face. Jug-like ears.
Wearing a suit that was cool in the 70’s.
Blinking rapidly. Rocking back and forth in his seat.
Who are all the extra people?
You said it was a four-man job.
Meet TILLY SACKLER (40’s).
Once a near-beauty,
now a human cosmetics counter.
Dressed like a teenager in leggings
and top a bit too small.
Newport dangling on frosted pink lips.
The name’s Doc. I’m organizing the job.
(nods at Kelsey)
This here’s Kelsey. My granddaughter.
She’s learning the ropes.
You don’t need to worry about her.
What the fuck? It’s OUR job --
Calm down, Tilly.
Doc’s the best in the business.
He’s helping us out.
(nods at the others)
The other guys won’t do it
unless he gives the okay. Got it?
But what about the fucking GIRL?
See ya later, Freddie.
No, wait, wait.
Tilly, you’re gonna fuck this up.
The girl is with him.
Chill out, okay?
I don’t like it.
This ain’t kindergarten.
(to the rest)
Told you it was no good.
C’mon, let’s go.
The others start to get up.
they go, there’s NO JOB. Got it?
There’s NO FUCKING JOB.
(off her stare)
You wanna work at a joint
called EAT the rest of your life?
(off her silence)
Well, DO you?
Doc looks at the others.
They shrug. Nod. Sit back down.
So what’s the first step?
I need to scope out the joint.
Figure out what we need.
Do you have any idea yet
how you’re gonna do it?
I didn’t say we were gonna do it yet.
Like I said, I gotta check it out.
If it looks bad, we walk. No promises.
But it’s a good one, Doc.
A real good one.
We’re professionals, Freddie.
That might not be a concept
you’re familiar with,
but professionals don’t
go off half-cocked.
They plan a job down
to the most minor detail.
That’s the reason
I’ve never been busted. Capiche?
Yeah, sure, Doc. Sure.
I’m sorry. I’m sorry.
Good. We’ll swing by the diner tomorrow.
He pulls a notepad out of his pocket.
Slides it over.
I’ll need directions.
(nods, starts writing)
It’s best if you don’t know.
I’ll call you afterwards.
If it looks good, we
schedule another meeting.
What do you mean IF it looks good?
It’s a piece of cake.
Knocking over an armored car is
NEVER a piece of cake.
If it WAS, you wouldn’t need US.
I don’t think I like your tone.
Freddie, if you don’t shut
this skank up, I WILL.
You’re gonna fuck up the job,
and then we ain’t got nothin.’
Alright, alright. Keep your shirt on.
Have to respect your elders.
You wouldn’t know respect if it
bit you on the cellulite --