Friday, February 1, 2013
This Little Piggy
Hey there, crime kids. Happy Friday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.
In Chapter 27 of NOWHERE GIRL, Palestinian arms dealer Avi Abbas is torturing a prisoner to get information, but gets interrupted by an urgent phone call from black ops spook Sledge Crafton about what's going on with the delivery of the suitcase nuke to the Al Qaeda sleeper cell. Meanwhile, fugitive stripper Cherry Nation and hipster Peeler Mardo share a tender moment ...
INT. DOWNTOWN LOFT - NIGHT
Deserted, except for Avi, sitting at his desk,
facing the floor-to-ceiling windows,
city lights twinkling below.
(to someone unseen)
Ahhhhh, that’s it, baby --
He picks up the phone.
Dials a number. Listens.
INT. INTELLIGENCE OFFICE - BASEMENT
Crafton is supervising the interrogation
of an IRANIAN PRISONER,
who is hanging from a steam pipe
by a chain, shirtless, blindfolded --
and quite bloody.
He takes a sip of his tumbler of scotch.
SLAPS the prisoner.
Tell me, you fucking CAMEL JOCKEY.
Give me his NAME.
I don’t KNOW, I am not TERRORIST,
I am DRY CLEANER!
Crafton nods at a LARGE, SURLY SOLDIER
holding a rose clipper around
the big toe of one of
the prisoner’s bare feet.
This little piggy went TO MARKET.
Surly SNIPS, CRUNCH, and the toe
FLIES IN THE AIR like a watermelon seed.
The prisoner SCREAMS. Blood flows.
Crafton’s cell phone rings.
He fishes it out of his pocket.
(to the prisoner)
Hold that thought.
It’s Avi. I wanna know
what the fuck’s going on with the --
Avi leans back in his chair,
rolls his head slowly.
Do I have to fucking
SPELL IT OUT for you?
The rogue courier is being TERMINATED,
and her replacement is
delivering the package.
We have it HANDLED.
Goddammit, Crafton --
your fucking rogue killed my best man.
I’m not sure I -- trust you anymore.
He closes his eyes.
In some kind of ecstacy.
Now you listen to me,
you fucking TOWELHEAD --
you’re lucky we don’t fucking SHUT YOU DOWN.
I represent THE UNITED STATES GOVERNMENT --
and this is a BUSINESS DEAL -- FOR MONEY.
Haven’t you heard of IN GOD WE TRUST?
The buyer will get THE PACKAGE.
Okay -- okay --
His body JERKS.
He smiles, peaceful.
Abbas? You there?
A TALL BLONDE pops up from under the desk.
Wipes her mouth with a tissue.
Avi SNAPS his fingers.
Points. She leaves.
Yeah -- I’m here.
He lights a cigarette.
Inhales. Blows a lazy smoke ring.
Just make sure it happens -- soon.
We don’t want the buyer
to get upset and cause an incident.
I’m not worried.
They’re in fucking Hollywood.
Why do you think we chose that location?
EXT. HOLLYWOOD HILLS - WOODED AREA - NIGHT
It’s stopped raining.
Cherry and Peeler walk up the incline
though sparse foliage.
They reach a narrow, winding road.
Thank fucking god.
I’m cold, I’m wet --
and I’m fucking TIRED.
(points at the sign)
Check it out.
We’re almost there.
They start walking up the steep incline.
After this is done,
I can’t wait to have a s
tiff drink and a long, hot shower.
Cherry trudges on.
White knuckles gripping the briefcase.
So listen, I was wondering --
when this is all over,
would you like to, you know --
go have coffee or something?
(does a take)
You mean like a -- date?
No, not a DATE.
You know, just -- hang out.
You know, coffee.
Maybe grab a burger --
That’d be -- nice.
A tear runs down her cheek.
She stops. GRABS him.
Gives him a long, lingering kiss.
What was that for?
But I kinda liked it.
(kisses him again)
Yeah. That’ll work --