Kiss And Tell

Happy Thursday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 14 of BLUE HOTEL, boozy screenwriter Holly Land again runs into Feo, the assistant of hipster hooker Alona Tal's dead john that Holly accidentally killed ... and to make matters worse, he shows her videotape footage of the liquor store robbery she thwarted at gunpoint. Meanwhile, Alona has to fend of the romantic advances of another client, school teacher Gill Sherry ...


INT. HOLLY’S SHITTY HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT
Holly walks in the room carrying a bottle of vodka,
goes to her desk. Sits. Pours two fingers. Downs it.

Punches PLAY on her boombox.
The anguished, brittle, tortured sound
of Portishead oozes out the speakers like a wound.

She opens her laptop.
Boots it up. Looks at the screen.

ON THE MONITOR
We see the screenplay she’s working on. It reads:

INT. MOTEL ROOM - NIGHT
Molly leans against the wall.
Listening to the sound of love-making in the next room.
She reaches down. Touches herself.

HOLLY
SLAPS the computer closed.

HOLLY
Fucking SHIT.

She pours another one. Downs it.
Stands. A bit wobbly.

HOLLY (CONT’D)
Need to get -- more money.

Holly pours one more for courage.
Slugs it down. Grabs her purse.

Pulls the gun from the robbery out.
Checks it.

HOLLY (CONT’D)
Time to cut to the chase.

INT. BEGGAR’S BMW CONVERTIBLE - NIGHT
Beggars sits in his car in the
rear parking lot of the hotel.
Dials a number on his cell. Listens.

BEGGAR
Lief, hey -- it’s Beggar.
(beat)
I just got a kilo
of primo booger sugar,
and I thought of you --
(beat)
You having a party?
Well, that’s even better --
(beat)
You know I’m cool.
I won’t tell anyone --
(beat)
WHO?
(beat)
You’re shitting me.

INT. THE STARLIGHT LOUNGE - NIGHT
Some strange 60’s lounge classic plays
like Yma Sumac on the jukebox.

Alona and Gill sit at the bar
with cocktails.

ALONA
So what are you gonna do now?

GILL
Well, I still have my job --
(beat)
And I still have you.

ALONA
Gill, I’m with Beggar.
You know that. You’re a friend.

GILL
I know to you I’m just a client,
but I can tell you feel something
when we make love.
I can feel it.

ALONA
My dear, sweet Gill --
the incurable romantic.

GILL
I wish you’d let me take you
away from all of this, Alona.
(gestures)
This place is a dive. A cesspool --

The BARTENDER looks up. Pissed off.

ALONA
Gill, I like my life just the way it is.
No strings. Nothing to tie me down.
If I get tired of it, I can just split.
(beat)
And I like sex too much.

GILL
(finishes his drink)
Speaking of sex, let’s go upstairs.
I need to quench my thirst
from your heavenly fountain.

ALONA
Heavenly fountain?
(drains her drink)
Kitchen sink is more like it.

EXT. STARLIGHT HOTEL - NIGHT
Holly comes down the front steps.
Weaving a little. She stops. Looks around.

Sees a crowd of ONLOOKERS
in front of the liquor store crime scene.

Feo, still sitting on the park bench,
sees Holly.

FEO
Hey, there.
(smiles)
We’ve got to stop meeting like this.

HOLLY
(sees him)
Oh. Hey.
(points at the crowd)
What’s -- going on?

FEO
Some chick knocked off the liquor store
with a couple of gang-bangers,
then shot one of ‘em.
(holds up I-phone)
Wanna see the footage?

She stares. He saw it?
But doesn’t recognize her?

HOLLY
(trying to be casual)
Sure.
Holly sits down.
He holds up the phone in front of her.

ON THE SCREEN
We see grainy, black and white footage
of the robbery, with Holly seen from the rear.

She SHOOTS the gang-banger. He falls.
She grabs the liquor, RUNS into the back.

HOLLY
Looks at Feo.

HOLLY (CONT’D)
Huh. Looks kinda like me.

FEO
Nah. She looks vicious.
You’re kinda cute.

HOLLY
You really --
(hiccups)
Really think so?

FEO
Yeah. If I didn’t have a --
situation to take care of,
I’d ask you if I could buy you a drink.

HOLLY
(points)
Hotel’s got a bar, right there.
Buy me a drink, we can talk about it?
(weird smile)
Maybe I can help.

FEO
You’re on.
(beat)
Don’t worry, I don’t kiss and tell.

HOLLY
That’s a shame. I do.

Why Do You Think They Call It A Stiff?

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Wednesday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 13 of BLUE HOTEL, dead agent Oscar Goldman's assistant Feo recognizes boozy screenwriter Holly Land on tape at the liquore store robbery. Meanwhile, Hooker Alona Tal and her boyfriend, drug dealer Beggar Leck hear a knock on her hotel room door, and then try and hide Oscar's body ...


EXT. STARLIGHT HOTEL - PARK BENCH - NIGHT
Feo sits on the bench.
Watching the commotion at the crime scene.
Starts flipping through websites on his BlackBerry.

FEO
(looks)
Maybe I can find something about it --
(stares)
Holy SHIT.

ON THE PHONE
We see the robbery at Davey Jones’ Liquor Locker
unfolding in grainy black and white.

And there’s our plucky little killer, Holly --
blowing gang-banger’s brains out.

FEO
Stares at the screen.

FEO (CONT'D)
I just SAW her somewhere.

Gill walks up to the bench carrying a suitcase.
Gestures toward the news vans, the cops, the onlookers.

GILL
What’s going on over there?

FEO
Liquor store holdup.

GILL
Why all the media?

FEO
Three people were killed.
Two robbers and the clerk.
(looks at the screen)
What I can’t figure is how the girl was involved.
These guys were serious gang-bangers,
and she looks like Tori Amos.

INT. ALONA’S SHITTY HOTEL ROOM - AT THAT MOMENT
Beggar shuts off his phone.

Looks at Alona and Holly,
sitting on the bed together.
Sipping vodka in their plastic cups.

BEGGAR
It’s all set.
Vlad’ll be here at five AM.
Problem is, he wants five grand to take care of it.

ALONA
FIVE THOUSAND?
We don’t have that kind of scratch.

BEGGAR
How much do you have?

ALONA
I’ve got a couple hundred saved,
but that’s for an emergency.

BEGGAR
What the fuck do you think THIS is?

ALONA
Alright, alright.
Don’t get your speedo in a bind.

She gets up goes to the desk.
Opens up a drawer.

Takes out a book. Opens it.
We see it’s hollowed-out.

She pulls out a wad of cash.
Starts counting it.

BEGGAR
(to Holly)
What about you?
How much do you have?

HOLLY
I don’t know -- about fifty bucks?
I don’t get paid at the book store
until day after tomorrow --

BEGGAR
Well, you better figure out how to get more,
because YOU got us into this mess.

Alona finishes counting.
SLAPS the money in Beggar’s hand.

ALONA
Three hundred and twenty-six bucks, bucko.
Don’t spend it all in one place.

BEGGAR
Okay, so with Gidget’s fifty bucks,
we’re close to four hundred --

He takes out his wallet.
Counts his money.

BEGGAR (CONT’D)
I’ve got hundred and ten --
(grins)
Wait a minute.
I’m freaking out, I’m not thinking.
I just got a bag of blow to sell.
I’ll make some calls --
(thinks)
Yeah. There’s that yuppie lawyer asshole
in Santa Monica --
(looks at Holly)
And if Gidget here can dig up some more,
we might be okay.

HOLLY
How am I supposed to get more money?

ALONA
Lay off her, Beggar. She’s just a kid.
I can turn a couple of tricks --

A soft KNOCK-KNOCK-KNOCK at the door.
They all look at each other, scared.

GILL (O.C.)
Alona? Are you in there?
It’s me, Gill. Donna kicked me out --

ALONA
(whispers)
What the fuck?
(goes to the door)
Right now’s not a good time, Gill.
I’m kinda busy.

BEGGAR
(whispers)
Gill? The teacher? The trick?
(off her nod)
Tell him to meet you in the bar,
we’ll get outta here, and you can do him.

GILL (O.C.)
Alona?

ALONA
I have company, Gill. Beggar’s here.
Meet me downstairs in the bar in a couple minutes, okay?

GILL (O.C.)
Okay, okay -- thank you, my love.
I’ll see you down in the bar.

BEGGAR
(looks at Holly)
Okay, we’re outta here.

HOLLY
What about --
(points at the body)
Him?

BEGGAR
Shit.
(thinks)
Under the bed.
(to Alona)
C’mon, help me.

ALONA
Over my dead --
(beat)
Okay.

Beggar and Alona each take an end of Oscar’s body.
Start to slide it toward the bed.

ALONA (CONT’D)
He’s so -- stiff.

BEGGAR
Why do you think they call it a fucking STIFF?

They start to push him under the bed,
but his stomach’s too big.
Doesn’t quite fit.

ALONA
Shit.

BEGGAR
C’mon, PUSH.

Beggar and Alona put their hands
on his side, and PUSH.
It doesn’t move.

BEGGAR (CONT'D)
HARDER.

They PUSH again. Nothing.

HOLLY
Let me try.

ALONA
You fucking kidding me?

BEGGAR
(stands back)
Be my guest.

Holly takes a few steps back,
races toward the body,
and KICKS it with animal strength.
It POPS under the bed, THWUNK.

ALONA
Holy shit.

BEGGAR
How did you --

HOLLY
(faint smile)
Used to play soccer.

Alona pulls the bedspread down, hiding it.

ALONA
Okay, you guys split.
Time for me to get in character.

BEGGAR
Oh, yeah? What character?

PUSH IN ON Alona.
Resigned to her fate.

ALONA
Used to be Lady Madonna --
(beat)
Now it’s Lady Macbeth.

Human Remains Of The Day

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Tuesday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 12 of BLUE HOTEL, drug dealer Beggar Leck calls his new 'boss' Vlad to help him get rid of the dead body in hipster hooker Alona Tal's hotel room at the dive on the beach, and finds out Vlad's services don't come cheap. In fact, they come with strings attached ...


INT. ALONA’S SHITTY HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT
Alona and Holly sit on the bed,
drinking vodka from plastic cups.

Beggar looks out the window
at the action outside.

Takes hits of a joint.
Passes it to Alona.

ALONA
(takes it)
Thanks --

HOLLY
It seemed to happen
in slow motion --

ALONA
(takes a hit)
Fucking unreal.

HOLLY
It all happened so fast.
There was no time to think.

BEGGAR
(turns, looks)
Our little girl’s good
with knives AND guns --

Beggar’s phone RINGS.
He pulls it out.
Answers it.

BEGGAR (CONT’D)
About fucking time --
(listens)
Vlad, hey.
Yeah, it’s urgent.
We’ve got a -- a situation here.
We need your help.
(listens)
There was a -- an accident.
Someone was killed.
We need help
getting rid of the body.
(listens)
Yeah. The Starlight Hotel,
right on the boardwalk.
(listens)
What do you mean
it’s on the news?
Nobody knows about it --
(realizes)
That’s something else.
Somebody jacked the
corner liquor store --
(listens)
Well, yeah --
there’s cops around.
But they’ll go away.
(listens)
In the morning? But --
(listens)
FIVE GRAND?

INTERCUT WITH:

INT. SLEAZY APARTMENT - NIGHT
Vlad sits on an overstuffed sofa
in his opium den of a joint.

Smoking a cigarette.
Talking on his phone.

VLAD
Did you think we would
provide service for FREE?

BEGGAR
Well, since you
put it that way --

VLAD
And you do realize
we will ask you
to return the favor?
That you will become
part of family?

BEGGAR
Yeah. Of course.

VLAD
Good.
We’ll be there at five AM.
Before sunrise.

BEGGAR
Okay. Thanks.

VLAD
No. Thank you --

He hangs up.
Pours a shot of vodka.
DOWNS it. Calls out.

VLAD (CONT’D)
Anya, I have news.

ANYA (O.C.)
Oh, yeah?
What is news?

ANYA TURGENEV (20’s)
walks into the room.

Hot. Cold. Curvy.
Raven-haired.

Blood red lips.
Former stripper.

Miles of milk white legs.
Serpent tattoo near the hemline.

Ouch.

VLAD
Road trip.

ANYA
Ooh. Goody. Where to?

VLAD
Venice Beach, baby.

ANYA
What is job?

VLAD
Disposal of --
human remains.

ANYA
Ahhhhh.
You know how to
make girl happy.

VLAD
Come to Poppa,
my kinky one.

She does.
Crawls into his lap.
He strokes her hair.

ANYA
(sings softly)
'They asked me how I knew,
my true love was true -- '

VLAD
(sings)
'I of course replied,
when a true love dies -- '

ANYA
'Blood gets in your eyes.'

They stare at each other.
Then ERUPT with mad laughter --

My Alona

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Friday. Are you ready for the holiday weak-end? Then it's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 10 of BLUE HOTEL, after foiling the gang-bangers trying to rob the liquor store, boozy screenwriter Holly Land returns to hipster hooker Alona Tal's dive hotel room with the blood-splattered vodka bottles. Meanwhile, private school teacher Gill Sherry gets busted by his wife Donna for cheating on her with Alona ...


INT. ALONA’S SHITTY HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT
Alona sits on the bed. Beggar paces the room.
CLICKS his cell phone shut with disgust.

BEGGAR
Fucking Russian bastard --

A soft KNOCK-KNOCK-KNOCK at the door.

ALONA
Holly?

HOLLY (O.S.)
Yeah.

Beggar goes to the door. Opens it.
Holly comes in carrying her box.
Stares at them. Looking spooked.

ALONA
Holly? What’s wrong?

Holly goes to the bed. Sits.
Puts down the box. Stares.

HOLLY
There was -- a robbery.

Alona opens the box.
Looks inside.

Takes out the vodka bottles.
Sees that they’re blood-splattered.

ALONA
What the hell HAPPENED?

BEGGAR
What did you DO?

Holly takes out a bottle of vodka.
Unscrews the cap.

Takes a long drink. Sighs.
Wipes her mouth.

HOLLY
I went to the liquor store --
a-and these gang-bangers robbed it --
(another drink)
And they, and they --

She breaks down. Sobbing.
Alona takes her in her arms.
Comforts her. Strokes her hair.

ALONA
There, there. It’s okay.

A siren WHOOP-WHOOPS outside.
Beggar goes to the window.
Opens it. Looks out.

BEGGAR
Holy fucking shit.
It’s like an episode of COPS out there --

INT. GILL’S BUNGALOW - BATHROOM - AT THAT MOMENT
A cloud of steam swirls around the bathroom.

Behind the rippled glass of the door,
we see a MALE FIGURE.

IN THE SHOWER
Gill is soaping and scrubbing himself.
His face stuck under the hot spray of water.
Eyes closed.

GILL
(sings, ala My Sharona)
M-m-m-my Alona ---

Soapy hands reach down.
Massaging his manhood. He smiles.

GILL (CONT’D)
Never gonna give it up,
never gonna stop,
such a dirty mind --

His body JERKS.

GILL (CONT'D)
Ooh, you make my motor run, motor run --

DONNA (O.C.)
GILL! Get THE FUCK
out of the shower RIGHT NOW!

Gill’s eyes FLY OPEN.
He stops jerking off.
What the fuck?

He turns off the water.
Opens the shower door.

DONNA
Stands in the bathroom doorway.
Eyes blazing.

GILL
What’s wrong? Jesus Christ,
you scared the fucking shit out of me.

He grabs a towel.
Wraps it around his waist.

DONNA
I called Sheila, Brub’s wife --

GILL
What?

DONNA
(hisses)
You didn’t have drinks with him.
He’s HOME SICK.

GILL
Did I say Brub? I mean Bob --

She holds up a pair of his underwear.

DONNA
And I found these in the hamper.
They’re ENCRUSTED with COME STAINS.

GILL
Donna, I can EXPLAIN --

DONNA
Bull-fucking SHIT.
You’ve been fucking
CHEATING ON ME AGAIN,
and I want you
OUT OF MY FUCKING HOUSE -- NOW!

GILL
Wait, can’t we talk about this?

DONNA
(screams)
What the FUCK is there to TALK ABOUT?
You’re screwing ANOTHER WOMAN, AGAIN.
(hisses)
If it’s one of your fucking students,
I swear I’m gonna call the cops myself.
(STOMPS her foot)
Get the FUCK out of my house, NOW.

GILL
But --

Donna GRABS a bottle of shampoo.
THROWS it at him.
It HITS him in the chest, THWAP.

DONNA
GET OUT! NOW!

GILL
Okay, ALRIGHT.
(eyes tearing up)
No need for you get violent --

No Woman, No Cry

Happy Thursday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 9 of BLUE HOTEL, boozy screenwriter Holly Land leaves the boardwalk dive hotel on a mission of mercy to the local liquor store ... and gets a most violent surprise ...


EXT. DAVEY JONES’ LIQUOR LOCKER - NIGHT
An old, nasty liquor store on a cobblestoned side street.
A hand-lettered sign in the window reads NO CHECKS.

A pair of tiny, VICIOUS-LOOKING GANG-BANGERS (20’s)
loiter outside.

Holly eyes them.
Hurries into the store. In a daze.

INT. DAVEY JONES’ LIQUOR LOCKER - CONTINUOUS
Holly glides over to the counter.
Looks at the row of vodka bottles.

The CLERK, a tall Rasta in shades (30’s)
with dreads down to his waist ambles over.
'No woman, no cry' indeed.

RASTA WEARING SHADES
What can I get you, mon?

HOLLY
Can I get --
(looks)
Two bottles of Absolut?

RASTA WEARING SHADES
(grins)
Absolutely.
(turns, grabs the bottles)
You havin’ a party?

The gang-bangers BURST into the store.
Holding small, piece-of-shit gats.

The taller one RUSHES the counter.
PUSHES Holly out of the way.
She hits the floor, THWUMP.

TALLER, VICIOUS-LOOKING GANG-BANGER
(SHOVES the gun in Rasta’s face)
Open the register, homes -- NOW!

Rasta stares at him wide-eyed.
Must be the sticky kush.

UNDER THE COUNTER
With one hand, he reaches for
a sawed-off shotgun.

BEHIND THE COUNTER
With the other, he opens the drawer.
Starts to grab the cash.

TALL RASTA
Okay, mon -- easy now.
I give you the money --
HOLLY

Lies on the floor.
Staring at them. Freaking out.

TALLER, VICIOUS-LOOKING
Waves the gun, impatient.

TALLER, VICIOUS-LOOKING GANG-BANGER
Hurry up, MOTHERFUCKER.

RASTA
FLIPS the gun up.
SHOOTS Tall’s head off. BANG.

Blood, brains and bone SPLATTER
the display behind him.

His piece goes FLYING,
skitters across the floor --

Landing right next to Holly.
She GRABS it.

SHORT, UGLY GANG-BANGER
Races toward the counter. SCREAMING.

Shoots Rasta in the head.
BANG. BANG. BANG. BANG. BANG.

RASTA
Falls over, dead. THWUNK.

SHORT, UGLY
Races over to the counter.
Scoops up the money into a plastic shopping bag.
GRABS a bottle of something expensive.

HOLLY
Stands behind him.
Holding her gun in both hands.

HOLLY
(screeches)
DON’T MOVE! Or I’ll fucking SHOOT!

SHORT, UGLY GANG-BANGER
(whirls around)
Fuck you, BITCH.

Holly SHOOTS him in the shoulder.
BANG. He DROPS the bag.

SHORT, UGLY GANG-BANGER
What THE FUCK?

HOLLY
SHUT UP!

And she FIRES again.
BANG. BANG. BANG.

Gets him in the arm. The leg.
He falls, GASPING.

The bottle hits the floor. POP.
Booze and blood start to form a sick-looking puddle.

SHORT, UGLY GANG-BANGER
Fucking CUNT. You SHOT ME --

He lies there. Bleeding.
Struggles to raise his gun.

SHORT, UGLY GANG-BANGER
I’m gonna -- kill ---

She moves closer. Fires again. BANG.
Gets him right between the eyes.
Lights out. Holly SCREAMS.

HOLLY
FUUUCK!

MALE VOICE (O.C.)
Holy SHIT.

Holly turns. Looks.
Sees a CROWD OF PEOPLE outside the door.

She sticks the gun in her pants.
GRABS the bottles of vodka --

And RACES into the back of the store.

CLOSE ON --
A video camera on the ceiling.
Red light BLINKING.

IN THE BACK ALLEY
Holly runs toward the street. Stops.
Sees a small cardboard box. Puts the vodka bottles in it. Hurries on her way.
ON THE BOARDWALK
Holly walks carefully, looking around. Sees a big CROWD gathering ahead. POLICE OFFICERS. A NEWS VAN pulls up.
HOLLY
I need a DRINK --
She gets to entrance of the hotel. Hurries up the stairs.
FEO

Sits on a nearby bench facing the hotel. Fingers working madly on his BlackBerry. He looks up. Sees her.
FEO
Same chick. Wouldn’t mind hitting that.

Balls For Breakfast

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Hump Day. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 8 of BLUE HOTEL, the plot thickens when Feo, the assistant to the film biz agent that boozy screenwriter Holly Land stabbed to death, starts snooping around The Starlight Hotel looking for him ...


EXT. VENICE BOARDWALK - STARLIGHT HOTEL - NIGHT
Holly walks out the front entrance. Stops. Looks at --

A STREET PERFORMER (30’s),
a small, compact black guy,
wearing nothing but a
black thong and sneakers,
hair tied back in a bun.

Ambling down the boulevard.
Commuting home.

She stares. Shakes her head.
Turns. Starts walking.

Coming right toward her is a FILM BIZ ASSISTANT (25),
geeky in a black suit and tie.

Carrying a big envelope.
He sees Holly.

FILM BIZ ASSISTANT
Excuse me, Miss -- ?

HOLLY
(stops)
Yeah?

FILM BIZ ASSISTANT
Is there a hotel near here?

HOLLY
(points behind her)
Yeah. The Starlight.
Just a few doors down.

She weaves a little.
Tries for a smile.

FILM BIZ ASSISTANT
(looks, sees it)
Thanks.

HOLLY
Sure.

Holly continues walking.
He watches her.

FILM BIZ ASSISTANT
God, I love this neighborhood.

INT. THE STARLIGHT HOTEL - FRONT DESK - NIGHT
A tiny room. Beyond old and weathered. Peeling paint.
A single desk lamp shines over --

THE CLERK (50’s), a tall, skinny,
strange-looking ex-hippie
with a shock of long white hair.

Bad false teeth. A hawk-like nose.
Which right now has a finger in it,
digging for gold.

Meet BUNKY MERTZ, glory days now long-gone.
Natty in a tie-dyed Grafeful Dead T-shirt
and parachute pants.

Film Biz walks up to the counter.
Sees Bunky. Looks worried.

BUNKY
Evenin’. Can I help you?

FILM BIZ ASSISTANT
Hi. I’m looking for my boss.
He’s a guest at your --
(looks around distastefully)
Hotel.

BUNKY
What’s his name?

FILM BIZ ASSISTANT
Oscar Goldman.

BUNKY
(opens the register)
When did he check in?

FILM BIZ ASSISTANT
Last night.

Bunky scans the names with a
long, nicotine-stained finger.

BUNKY
Goldman, Goldman --
(finishes)
Nope. No Goldman.

FILM BIZ ASSISTANT
Did you did that kinda quickly.
Do you mind checking again?

BUNKY
Only one person checked in tonight.
(squints)
Greta Bruckheimer.
(grins)
German tourist.

FILM BIZ ASSISTANT
(to himself)
Shit. That’s right --
(to Bunky)
Wait a minute.
He was visiting a guest of yours,
not checking in. Maybe you saw him.
He’s average height, dark hair,
wearing an expensive suit?

BUNKY
Sorry, just got here.
I’m the night man.

FILM BIZ ASSISTANT
(sighs)
Okay. Thanks --
(pulls out his card, gives it)
If you see him,
would you please call me?
It’s REALLY urgent.

BUNKY
(nods)
Will do.
(smiles)
Have a good night, man.
(watches him leave, under his breath)
Yuppie capitalist pig --

EXT. STARLIGHT HOTEL - NIGHT - MOMENTS LATER
Film Biz stands on the boardwalk
talking on his BlackBerry.

FILM BIZ ASSISTANT
Hey, it’s Feo.
I’m flipping out here.
I’ve got the new Parker script
for Oscar to read tonight,
and I can’t find him.
Did he call Nigel, s
ay where he was going?
(listens)
Shit.
(listens)
Yeah, the new Parker script.
You know what’s gonna happen
if I DON’T get it to him tonight?
(listens)
'Balls for breakfast'
doesn’t BEGIN to cover it --

A Little Stress-Reliever

Happy Tuesday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 7 of BLUE HOTEL, drug dealer Beggar Leck returns to hipster hooker Alona Tal's hotel room at the Venice boardwalk dive, where Alona and boozy screenwriter Holly Land are waiting to find out how they're going to get rid of the dead body they've wrapped up in a shower curtain ...


INT. ALONA'S SHITTY HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT
A KNOCK-KNOCK on the door.

Alona walks over. Opens it.
Beggar stumbles in.

BEGGAR
Honey, I’m home --

ALONA
Hey, babe.

BEGGAR
(looking at Holly)
How’s Junior Miss holding up?

ALONA
She’s okay.
(looks at Holly)
Right, hun?

HOLLY
I guess so.

BEGGAR
(looks at the body)
I called Vlad,
left a voice mail.
Hasn’t called me back yet.

ALONA
Shit. What are we gonna do?

BEGGAR
We’ve got two choices --
either wait for him to call back,
or take care of it ourselves.

ALONA
Take care of it OURSELVES?

BEGGAR
I say we get high,
screw our brains out,
and wait for him to call.
(smiles)
Be a lot more fun
than disposing of a dead body,
don’t you think?
(looks at Holly)
Whattya say, girlie?
A little stress-reliever?

HOLLY
Oh no, I can’t --
(looks at the body, shivers)
Not with --

ALONA
Horny bastard.
Not with a dead body
in the room.
(beat)
Can’t you see
she’s freaked out?

BEGGAR
(looks at the body)
Guess you’re right.

He goes to the table.
Picks up the
empty vodka bottle.

BEGGAR
We need more booze.
HOLLY
(jumps up)
I’ll go.
I need to get some air.

ALONA
Good idea.
I’ll roll up a couple of joints
for when you get back.

Beggar pulls out his wallet.
Gives Holly some cash.

BEGGAR
Here. Get a couple of
liters of the good stuff,
Absolut or Grey Goose. Plain.
None of that flavored shit.

HOLLY
(takes it)
Okay. I’ll be right back.

She goes to the door.

ALONA
It’ll be okay, babe.
Hurry back.
We’ll figure it out.

Holly flashes a strange smile.
Leaves.

Beggar sits next to
Alona on the bed.
Strokes her hair.

BEGGAR
How about a quickie
while she’s --

ALONA
(WHACKS his hand away)
Didn’t you hear me?
Not with a fucking dead body
in the room.

BEGGAR
Alright, alright.
(pulls out phone)
I’ll try 'Vlad the Impaler' again.

Alona opens a cigar box
on the bedside table.

Pulls out a bag of weed.
Some rolling papers.
Starts making a joint.

ALONA
Fucking Russians. Unreliable.
(licks the paper)
And they call themselves ‘criminals.’

She Blinded Me With Science

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Monday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 6 of BLUE HOTEL, private school teacher Gill Sherry returns home from his tryst with hipster hooker Alona Tal, where his wife Donna is more than a little suspicious. Meanwhile, Alona and boozy screenwriter Holly Land roll up the dead agent's body in a shower curtain 'to prepare him for shipping' ...


EXT. SANTA MONICA SIDE STREET - NIGHT
The moon glows like ghostly spectre
through dark velvet clouds.
Not a star in the sky.

A leafy avenue a few blocks from Main Street.
Not the cheap seats, but close.
But still only ten blocks from the ocean.

A late-model Volvo comes tooling down the street.
Turns into -

EXT. SUBURBAN BUNGALOW - NIGHT
A small, neat bungalow with a manicured lawn.
And yes, with a white picket fence.

The kinda joint I’ll be able to buy
when I sell this screenplay.

The car pulls into the driveway.
Stops. Gill gets out.

Weaves up the sidewalk
into the front door of the house.

INT. GILL’S BUNGALOW - LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
A small, neat room with the typical
funky decor of a liberal teacher.
Rows of books on shelves. African art.

Right now, in shadows.
Gill walks into the room.
Puts his briefcase down.

FEMALE VOICE (O.C.)
Student conferences run late?

The light SNAPS ON.

In the entranceway stands DONNA (40’s),
Gill’s wife.

Still attractive, but looks weary.
Worried. Alabaster skin. No makeup.
Could be a cougar, if she tried.

GILL
Hey, hon.
(yawns)
Yeah. Then I had a
couple of beers with Brub.

She walks up to him.
Puts her arms around him.
He tenses.

DONNA
'A couple of beers?'
You reek of booze --

GILL
Yeah, well --
we had a couple of shots.
He needed to talk.
Guy stuff, you know.
How was your day?

DONNA
The usual.
Another exciting day
in the chem lab.

GILL
(faint smile)
She blinded me with science --

DONNA
There’s Thai food in the fridge.
I could nuke some for you --

GILL
(pulls away from her)
Thanks, but I’m beat.
I’m gonna hit the sack.
Gonna go jump in the shower.
See you upstairs.

DONNA
(faint smile)
Be there in a sec.

He nods. Turns, and walks away
into the rear of the house.

PUSH IN ON Donna’s face.
Watching him suspiciously.

INT. ALONA’S SHITTY HOTEL ROOM - AT THAT MOMENT
The dead agent’s been turned over on his stomach.
We can see the scissor handles sticking out of his back.

Alona mops up the blood with a towel.
Holly sits on the bed, staring.
Holding the bottle.

ALONA
God, this is disgusting.
It’s all I can do not to puke --

She tosses the towel into a plastic bucket.
Now filled with bloody towels.
She looks at Holly.

ALONA
Can I get a hit of that?

Holly holds it up-side down. Empty.

HOLLY
All gone. Sorry --

ALONA
Shit.
(thinks)
I’ve got some weed.
We’ll smoke one when we’re done.
Let’s wrap him up, okay?

HOLLY
Okay. Be right back --

She slides off the bed.
Puts the bottle down.
Pads into --

THE BATHROOM
Where she RIPS the shower curtain off its rings.
She stops. Looks at her reflection in the mirror.
Haunted. Scared.

HOLLY
Mirror, mirror, on the wall --
(hiccups)
Who’s the most fucked-up of all?

IN THE BEDROOM
Holly drags the curtain behind her.
Walks over to Alona and the body.
Places it down on the floor.

ALONA
Some fucked-up picnic, huh?

HOLLY
How can you make jokes at a time like this?
Aren’t you -- scared? I am --

ALONA
Watching daddy beat mommy as a little girl
gives a gal a strange sense of humor.

HOLLY
Ohmigod, I’m sorry.
That must have been -- horrible.

ALONA
It was long time ago, baby.
C’mon, let’s roll up Oscar.
Get him ready for shipping.

HOLLY
That was -- his name?

Alona nods. Goes over to the body.
Starts rolling him onto the shower curtain.
Singing softly.

ALONA
My baloney has a first name, it’s O-S-C-A-R --
(looks at Holly)
Could you give me a hand? Fucker’s heavy.
(beat)
Dead weight --

She BURSTS into insane laughter.
Holly stares. Shakes her head.

Gets on her knees next to her.
They roll him onto the edge of the curtain.
Alona grabs the edge.

ALONA
Okay, now -- like a fruit roll-up,
let’s wrap ‘em up.

They hold the curtain against his side,
and start rolling him up
like some kind of ungodly burrito.

He goes over and over,
making a sickening THUMP each time.
They finish. Exhausted.

Holly goes to the bed. Sits.
Puts her head in her hands.

HOLLY
I’m going to hell for this --

Alona sits next to her.
Cradles her in her arms.

ALONA
Honey, didn’t you know?
(beat)
We’re already there --

My Bloody Valentine

Hey there, crime kids. Happy fucking FRIDAY. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 5 of BLUE HOTEL, hipster hooker Alona Tal calls her boyfriend, drug dealer Beggar Leck about how to get rid of the dead john's body in her hotel room. He tells her his new boss's crew will take care of it ... for a price.


INT. ALONA'S SHITTY HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT
Alona gets her cell phone. Dials a number. Listens.

ALONA
Hey, baby -- it’s me.

INTERCUT WITH:

INT. BEGGAR’S BMW CONVERTIBLE - MOVING - NIGHT
Beggar drives with the top down.

BEGGAR
(on the phone)
What’s wrong? You sound funny.

ALONA
Well, seeing as how there’s
a dead body in my room --
you’d 'sound funny,' too.

BEGGAR
What the FUCK?

ALONA
My trick, the agent.
We were playing ‘What’s My Bondage,’
Holly heard the commotion
and came in to rescue me --

Holly stares. Fighting back tears.
Goes to the table.

Gets Alona’s bottle of vodka.
Opens it. Takes a long slug.

ALONA
(watches her)
And stabbed him
with a pair of scissors.

BEGGAR
Jesus fucking CHRIST.

ALONA
No big loss.
The guy was a real asshole.
The world’s a better place without him.

BEGGAR
But shit, Alona.
There’s a dead guy in your ROOM.

ALONA
Hey -- life gives you a lemon,
you make lemonade.
(beat)
Where are you?

BEGGAR
I’m on the 405,
getting near the 90.
I’ll be there in fifteen minutes.
Wrap him up in the shower curtain
and start cleaning up the blood --

ALONA
Can’t YOU do that?

BEGGAR
Time is of the essence, Alona.
You want blood seeping through
the floor to the room below?

ALONA
Shit. Okay, okay.
(beat)
Are you gonna call your friends?

BEGGAR
Yeah. They’ll TAKE CARE of it.

ALONA
You -- mad at me?

BEGGAR
No, not you.
It’s just -- they want me
to work for them full-time,
and if they help with this,
I’m gonna owe them.

ALONA
Owe them what?

BEGGAR
Let’s just say the new guy
gets to do the dirty work.
(sighs)
Just get started,
and I’ll be there soon.

ALONA
Out, out damn spot.

BEGGAR
Huh?

ALONA
Never mind. Just hurry up
and get your ass over here,
my bloody valentine.

INT. ALONA’S SHITTY HOTEL ROOM - CONTINUOUS
Alona looks at Holly.
Drinking vodka from the bottle.

Grimacing. Looking lost.
Then at Oscar’s dead body.

And the growing pool of blood around it.

ALONA
Gimmee some of that.
We’ve got our work cut out for us.
HOLLY
(hands her the bottle)
What -- do you mean?

ALONA
Beggar’s on his way.
He said we gotta mop up the blood,
then wrap up the body.
Do me a favor, and go down
to the front desk and
ask for some extra towels?

HOLLY
What should I say they’re for?

ALONA
(takes a swig)
I dunno, make something up.
Tell ‘em we’re having a slumber party.

HOLLY
What are we gonna wrap him up with?

ALONA
Shower curtain.

HOLLY
You mean -- like in 'Goodfellas?'

ALONA
Nah. More like 'Motel Hell.'

Dead On Arrival

Happy Thursday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 4 of BLUE HOTEL, boozy screenwriter Holly Land is awakened in the middle of the night by the sound of 'a client' beating the shit out of hooker Alona Tal in the next room ... so she grabs a pair of scissors and 'comes to the rescue' ... with disastrous results ...

INT. HOLLY’S SHITTY HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT - LATER
Holly lies in bed, sleeping like the dead.
Mouth open.

There’s a BANGING on the wall.
Followed by SHOUTING.

ALONA (O.C.)
NO, STOP it! You’re HURTING ME!

Her eyes FLY OPEN.
She WHIPS off the covers.

LEAPS out of bed.
Bare feet SLAP the wooden floor.

HOLLY
Alona !

Holly looks around frantically.
GRABS a pair of scissors off her desk.
RACES out of the room.

INT. ALONA’S SHITTY HOTEL ROOM - CONTINUOUS
Alona lies on her bed, trussed up like a pig.

Major bondage action.
Wrists tied to the bed.

A LARGE MAN (30’s) lies on top of her,
pumping up and down.

Fucking the shit out of her.
Alona wriggles and squirms.

ALONA
You’re -- HURTING ME.

Holly CHARGES in,
holding the scissors like a knife.

HOLLY
NO! STOP THAT.

She PLUNGES the weapon into his back.
He REARS BACK like a bull on steroids.

LARGE MAN
OWWW!

He turns around. Sees Holly.
Turns red.

Tries to reach around
and grab the scissors.

LARGE MAN
Fucking BITCH.

Holly GRABS a chair.
SMASHES it over his head. CRACK.

He FLIES off the bed,
HITS the floor, face up.

Plunging the scissors all the way in.
Dead on arrival.

HOLLY
Holy SHIT.

She RACES over to the bed.
Starts untying Alona.

HOLLY
Are you okay?

ALONA
He was a trick, Holly.

HOLLY
(stops)
What?

ALONA
He wasn’t raping me.
He’s a john.

HOLLY
Yeah, right.
And I’m Lady Gaga --

A sharp KNOCK-KNOCK-KNOCK at the door.

MALE VOICE (O.C.)
HEY. Are you okay in there?

Alona and Holly look at each other.
Shit.

ALONA
(whispers)
It’s the guy that just
moved in down the hall --
(to the door)
Be there in a sec!
(whispers, to Holly)
Cover him with the bedspread and hide.
(off her look)
DO IT --

Holly RUNS to the bed.
Grabs the cover.

THROWS it over the body.
Dashes into the closet.

Alona RACES over to the door.
Opens it a crack.

ALONA
Hi --

IN THE HALLWAY
Is a large, bald,
friendly-looking GUY (20’s)
with a long goatee.

Meet VERNE.
The new neighbor.

VERNE
Are you okay?
I heard shouting and fighting --

IN THE ROOM
Alona smiles coyly.

ALONA
Sorry about that.
Had a fight with my boyfriend.
I’m okay. He’s gone --

Verne pokes his head in.
Sees she’s naked.

VERNE
Oh.
(stares)
So you’re okay --

ALONA
Yeah. I’m fine.

VERNE
You sure are.
(beat)
Boyfriend’s a lucky sumbitch.

ALONA
We have an -- open relationship.
Why don’t we -- party one of these nights?

VERNE
(aroused)
Shit, yeah.

ALONA
Cool. See ya later.
Gotta crash now. Bye.

VERNE
(as she closes the door)
Later --

The door CLICKS shut.
Holly comes out of the closet.

HOLLY
Holy shit, that was close.

ALONA
Tell me about it --
(thinks)
Shit. Now I’m gonna
have to hang out with him.

HOLLY
The b-bald guy with the gross goatee?

ALONA
Yeah.

She goes over to the body.
Stares at it.

Holly sits on the bed.
Head in her hands.

HOLLY
I’m so sorry, Alona -- I fucked up.

ALONA
It’s okay. He was a jerk.

HOLLY
(looks up)
So who was he?

ALONA
A rich, kinky asshole.
Scum of the earth.

HOLLY
A, a -- lawyer?

ALONA
Worse.
(beat)
An agent --

Family Values

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Hump Day. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 3 of BLUE HOTEL, after fucking schoolteacher Gill Sherry, hooker Alona Tal visits boozy screenwriter Holly Land's room, and invites her to have a drink at the sleazy hotel bar. Meanwhile, Alona's squeeze, drug dealing Begger Leck, travels to the Long Beach docks to pick up his 'latest shipment' ...


INT. HOLLY’S SHITTY HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT
Holly sits at her desk, typing on her laptop.
She stops. Takes a sip of vodka.

Stares at the screen.
Hears something.

She gets up.
Takes the picture off the wall.

Presses her ear against the vent.
Listening.

ALONA (O.C.)
God, YES.
That’s so FUCKING GOOD --

Holly grabs her drink.
Drains it. Listens.
Heart pounding.

EXT. LONG BEACH - HARBOR - NIGHT - AT THAT MOMENT
An old, battered red BMW convertible pulls up
to a decrepit warehouse. Parks. Beggar gets out.

Walks over to a doorway.
KNOCK-KNOCK-KNOCKS on it.
A small window OPENS.

A nasty-looking EUROTRASH THUG (30’S)
looks at him through the glass.
Grins a decayed smile. The door OPENS.

EUROTRASH THUG
Mr. Leck.
So nice of you to drop by.

BEGGAR
Vlad. Looking dapper as usual.

INT. WAREHOUSE - CONTINUOUS
Beggar and Vlad walk over to a makeshift table
made out of a piece of plywood on two saw horses.

A suitcase is on it. Open. Inside,
a dozen plastic bags filled with white powder.

A GREASY THUG (20’S)
grins at Beggar.

GREASY THUG
Look. Is Power-Seller.

BEGGAR
Nice to see you too, Sasha.

Sasha takes out a packet.
TOSSES it to Beggar.

SASHA
I assume you want usual deal?

BEGGAR
You know my credit is good.
I’ll be able to move this in a week, tops.

VLAD
You do more thinking about
coming to work for us full-time?

BEGGAR
I’ll have to get back to you on that.
Kinda like being my own boss.

VLAD
That may be.
But as part of organization,
you have protection.
And are part of family.

BEGGAR
Not sure I’m into -- family values.

INT. HOLLY’S SHITTY HOTEL ROOM - AT THAT MOMENT
Holly sits at her desk.
Staring at her laptop.

She pours the last of the
vodka bottle into her cup.
Makes a face.

HOLLY
Shit.

A soft TAP-TAP-TAP at the door.

HOLLY
Alona?

Alona glides into the room.
Dazzling smile.

ALONA
How did you guess?

HOLLY
Uh -- lucky?

ALONA
You look so sad.

HOLLY
Writing’s not -- going well.
I’m blocked.

ALONA
(sees the empty bottle)
Well, now wonder.
You gotta dead soldier.
Come on down to the bar with me
and take a break. Keep me company.
(pulls out cash)
It’s on me.
Gotta straight flush.

HOLLY
I dunno --

ALONA
C’mon, I won’t bite. I promise.
(beat)
Unless you want me to --

Hot For Teacher

Happy Tuesday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 2 of BLUE HOTEL, hooker Alona Tal visits boozy writer Holly Land's room to offer her a menage a trois with her boyfriend, which Holly shyly turns down. Then, moments later, Alona's client, schoolteacher Gill Sherry, arrives for his session, and begs Alona to 'let him take her away from all this' ...


INT. HOLLY’S SHITTY HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT
Holly puts the picture back up on the wall.
Opens up her laptop computer.
Takes a sip of vodka. Starts typing.

ON THE SCREEN
We see the words
‘Beggars can’t be choosers, baby.’

HOLLY
Smiles faintly.

HOLLY
Art imitates life --

A KNOCK-KNOCK-KNOCK at the door.

HOLLY
Come in, it’s open.

Alona glides in the room,
carrying her beer.

Holly closes the computer.
Looks up. Guilty.

ALONA
Hey, girlie.

HOLLY
(looks)
Alona. Hey. What’s up?

ALONA
YOU are.

HOLLY
(flushes)
I, uh --

ALONA
You’re so cute when you blush.
You know that?

HOLLY
Alona --

Alona walks over to Holly.
Puts her hand on her shoulder.

ALONA
The invitation still stands.
You can come join
Beggar and me anytime, you know.
(smiles)
Two’s company, three’s a party.

HOLLY
I don’t -- swing that way, Alona.

ALONA
Bullshit. I see the way you look at me.
(off her startled look)
It’s okay. I like it. I like you --

She bends over.
Kisses Holly softly on the lips.

ALONA
Promise me you’ll think about it?

HOLLY
(stares, wide-eyed)
I, uh --

ALONA
My sweet, little writer --
(goes to the door)
Just think about it. Gotta go.
Time for my next client --
(evil grin)
A teacher a day keeps the landlord away.

EXT. THE STARLIGHT HOTEL - NIGHT
Gill Sherry walks up to the front stoop.
Stops. Looks at the decay.
The ambiance of despair and poverty.

GILL
I’ve got to get her
out of this place. Save her.

And he bounds up the steps.

INT. ALONA’S SHITTY HOTEL ROOM - MOMENTS LATER
The spooky, fuzzy, haunting reverb guitar sounds
of The Raveonettes ALLY, WALK WITH ME
plays on the boombox over --

Alona, sits on the bed smoking a cigarette.
A KNOCK-KNOCK-KNOCK at the door.

ALONA
Come in, if you know what’s good for you.

The door OPENS. In walks Gill.

ALONA
Hey there, hot for teacher.

GILL
Ready for your homework?

He goes to the bed. Sits.
She smiles. Pulls out a joint.

ALONA
Want some higher education?

GILL
(reaches up, strokes her hair)
I didn’t think it was possible,
but you’ve gotten even more beautiful.

ALONA
Still the romantic --

GILL
(starts unbuttoning his shirt)
Have you thought any more about my offer?

ALONA
You mean taking me away from all this?

GILL
Yeah. I’ve got that great
little cottage upstate --

ALONA
Gill, I told you.
I like it here.
I like living at the beach.
I LIKE my life. It’s simple.
Uncomplicated. No strings.

GILL
But what about -- Beggar?

ALONA
Beggar’s just a friend.
(smiles)
Like you.

GILL
I’m not going to give up.

He stands. Walks over to the dresser.
Takes out his wallet.

Pulls out some cash.
Discretely tucks it under a book.

ALONA
Get that tight little ass over here.
We’ve got some serious fucking to do.

GILL
(comes to her)
And you say I’M a romantic --

What's Love Got To Do With It?

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Monday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.


It's the start of a new week, and a new story. We go now to the Starlight Hotel, a seedy dive on the Venice Beach boardwalk in sunny Calfornia ...

In Chapter one of BLUE HOTEL, we meet hooker Alona Tal, one of the Starlight's residents, who's making love to her boyfriend, Beggar Leck, a low-level drug dealer. We then meet good-looking, happily married schoolteacher Gil Sherry ... who's right now counting down the minutes until he can be with 'his true love' ... Alona.


EXT. VENICE BEACH - HOTEL - DUSK
The boardwalk. Quiet on a late summer weeknight.
A lone HOMELESS WOMAN sleeps in front
of a chained-up storefront.

CAMERA passes various businesses,
now closed for the night.

Joints selling T-shirts. Pizza.
Hats. Cheap tourist shit.

CAMERA stops on an old hotel.
Peeling blue paint.

Cracked steps lead up into a dingy foyer.
Sign reads THE STARLIGHT.

On the ground floor, a small bar.
THE STARLIGHT LOUNGE.

INT. STARLIGHT HOTEL - NIGHT
CAMERA creeps down a long, dark, hallway.
Faded, shitty prints of ships at sea
on the walls. We stop at room 23.

INT. SHITTY HOTEL ROOM - CONTINUOUS
Cool jazz on a boombox.
Maybe Coltrane or Miles, over --

Dark. Cluttered. Cozy.
Lit by a red bulb in a tiny lamp.
A few candles.

A WOMAN is making love with a MAN (20’s)
on the bed. Incense burning.

Meet ALONA TAL (30),
heartbreakingly beautiful.

Long, jet black hair to her waist.
Hot-blooded. Soft caramel skin.

Been ridden more a few miles.
But still turns heads.

She’s on top. In control.
Her hair fans down across her chest.

Riding him, rhythmically.
Eyes closed. In pure bliss.

ALONA
Ride me, you fucking COWBOY --

INT. ANOTHER SHITTY HOTEL ROOM - CONTINUOUS
Next door, we see a YOUNG WOMAN (21)
sitting at a table against the wall.

A painting has been taken down.
Behind it, an air duct,
her ear pressed against it. Listening.

ALONA (O.C.)
Giddyap, motherfucker -- FUCK ME.

Meet HOLLY LAND (22), waifish, comely.
Silky auburn tresses fall to her shoulders.

Looks tired, but still lovely.
She pours vodka into a plastic cup.
Takes a sip. Licks her lips.

Presses her ear against the vent again.
Listens.

ALONA (O.C.) (CONT'D)
Ohmyfucking GOD!

She reaches down, starts touching herself.

EXT. BAY STREET SCHOOL - DUSK
A tony, private ‘progressive’ school
for the kids of rich,
left-leaning Santa Monica hipsters.

The kind that shop at Whole Foods.
Do yoga. You get the idea.
Urth Cafe, anyone?

INT. BAY STREET SCHOOL - CLASSROOM - CONTINUOUS
The amber light of sunset streams through
the venetian blinds into the classroom.
Quiet. Empty. Except for --

A MAN (40’s) sits at a desk
at the head of the class.

Meet GILL SHERRY, good-looking,
in a frumpy kinda way.

But still buff. The cool teacher.
The kind the girls swoon over.

Right now he’s grading papers.
He checks his watch.

Goes back to his work.
His cell phone RINGS.
He picks it up. Listens.

GILL
Hi, honey --
(listens)
You better start without me.
I’ve got a couple of student conferences --
(listens)
I’ll grab something on the way home.
You need anything?
(listens)
Love you, too. Bye.

He hangs up. Checks his watch.
Sighs. Stares into space.

He pulls out a small picture.
We see it’s Alona.

GILL (CONT’D)
One more hour, my love,
and my torture will end.
(kisses the picture)
Without you I am incomplete.

INT. ALONA’S SHITTY HOTEL ROOM - AT THAT MOMENT
Alona sits up in bed smoking a cigarette.
A lazy, ‘just got laid’ smile on her face.
She sips from a bottle of Corona.

ALONA
You sure know how to
satisfy a gal, Beggar.

BEGGAR LECK (30’s),
buff, former bodybuilder,
with a mane of black hair,
pulls on his pants.

Still great-looking,
but now a little puffy.
Bright blue eyes now a bit bloodshot.

He lights up a joint.
Takes a big hit.

BEGGAR
Beggars can’t be choosers, baby --
(passes it to her)
Gotta jam. Gonna go pick up
some product down in Long Beach.

ALONA
(takes it, inhales)
Yeah, right.
You just want to make your escape
before the teacher gets here.

BEGGAR
No shit. He’s in love with you.
Guy creeps me out.
Gets all moony-eyed and shit.

ALONA
What’s love got to do with it?
He can only rent. YOU own me --

He’s finished dressing. Goes to her.
Gives her a sloppy kiss.

BEGGAR
And don’t you forget it.
(beat)
I should be back by midnight.
Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.

ALONA
Like what, suck cock?

Take Me To Bolivia

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Friday. Are you ready for the weak-end? Then it's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 40 of GUN-WILD, we reach the explosive climax of our story, where bank robbers Cam Clinch and Rod Funk have their final showdown with cops during 'the mother of all heists' ... and finally make a love connection.


INSIDE THE BANK
Cam races over to Rod.
Embraces him.

CAM
I -- shot him.

ROD
Your father?

CAM
Yeah.
(beat)
The pain stopped.

Cam RIPS off
her mustache.

They kiss.
Passionately.

OUTSIDE THE BANK
The SWAT commander
approaches Burly Police Chief.

SWAT COMMANDER
Chief --
the hostages are
in the vault.
We’ve got a clear shot.

BURLY POLICE CHIEF
Go ahead.
Take them out.

INSIDE THE BANK
Cam GRABS Rod by the hand.
Starts PULLING him away.

CAM
C’mon.

ROD
What are you doing?

CAM
I wanna do it.

ROD
Do what?

CAM
(GRABS his crotch)
THIS.

ROD
But we’re in
the middle of a --

The windows EXPLODE
with gun fire.

They LEAP to the floor.
ROLL toward the back.
Sit in the far corner.

CAM
It’s now or never, baby.
(sexy)
C’mon -- take me to Bolivia.

Rod pulls off his pants.
She pulls off her top.
Her trousers.

They grapple,
start making love.
Urgent. Passionate.

OUTSIDE THE BANK
We see the SWAT team
and Taya FIRING
through the windows.

INSIDE THE BANK
Bullets WHIP by
over their heads,
HITTING the walls.

SPLINTERED SHARDS
OF WOOD go FLYING --
as they make love.

ROD
(kisses her)
Think ya used enough
dynamite there, Butch?

A bullet HITS
Cam in the arm.
She FLINCHES.

Moves her hips with his.
Rides him.

CAM
(sucks on his neck)
Why is everything
we're good at illegal, Sundance?

A shot SLAMS into Rod’s leg.

ROD
(closes his eyes)
Who ARE these guys?

A bullet HITS Cam
in the shoulder.

CAM
(closes hers)
So much for --
going straight.

IN SLOW MOTION
They continue making love.
Now feverishly.

Gaining momentum.
Start reaching a crescendo,
as bullets RIP into them --
they CLIMAX.

Arch their backs,
in that perfect
moment of bliss.

Their bodies are ROCKED
like rag dolls,
FLY IN THE AIR --

And slowly, slowly,
like a feather --
come to rest.

As they EXPLODE
in a red mist.

FADE TO BLACK
FADE TO BLACK

Doggy-Style

Happy Thursday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 39 of GUN-WILD, we reach the next-to-last chapter of our story, in which bank robber Cameron Clinch interrupts her heist-in-progress to have a final showdown with her billionaire medial mogul father Geffin Clinch ...


OUTSIDE THE BANK
Taya walks around to the side of the building.
Approaches a group of SWAT officers
in formation behind shields.

GRIM SWAT OFFICER
You’ll have to step away, miss.
Crime in progress.

TAYA
(flashes her badge)
Detective Ralls, Robbery/Homicide.
The SUSPECTS in there killed my PARTNER.

GRIM SWAT OFFICER
(to someone over her shoulder)
Someone get this woman
a helmet and shield.

TAYA
Now you’re talking turkey.

INSIDE THE BANK
Cam walks to the front door.
Turns, looks at Rod.

CAM
Cover me.

ROD
(raises his gun, nods)
Be careful, hot stuff.

CAM
I’m not the one that needs to be careful.

OUTSIDE THE BANK
Geffin stands a few feet
from the front door holding a megaphone.

Cam appears in the doorway. Opens it.
A dozen weapons CLICK-CLICK.

GEFFIN
Cameron.

CAM
Hey, Dad.
(aims at him, to the cops)
Lower your guns
or the OLD FUCK gets it.

GEFFIN
Cameron, put the gun down.
Let’s talk.

CAM
TALK? You wanna TALK?
What do you wanna talk ABOUT?

GEFFIN
I’m sorry I haven’t been there
for you all these years,
but I’m trying to now --
(tears up)
Please, Cammy.
Turn yourself in.
We’ll get you the best lawyer
money can buy --

CAM
BEEN THERE for me? OH, YEAH --
you WERE there for me
when you were FUCKING ME.

The crowd GASPS.
Cam GRABS the bullhorn from him.
Presses the button.

A SQUEAL of feedback.
She raises it to her lips.

CAM
(to the crowd)
Oh, you didn’t KNOW about that?
You didn’t know that my DARLING DADDY
here started DIDDLING ME
when I was THIRTEEN?
And when I finally said NO,
he PUT ME AWAY in a LOONY BIN?

GEFFIN
Cameron, let’s not make up stories --

CAM
MAKE UP STORIES?
How about the one where you
fucking MICROCHIPPED me?

A voice SHOUTS from the rear.

MALE VOICE (O.C.)
What the fuck is up with THAT?

FEMALE VOICE (O.C.)
You should be ASHAMED of yourself!

MALE VOICE (O.C.)
Yeah, treating her like a DOG.

FEMALE VOICE (O.C.)
Doggy-STYLE is more like it.

LAUGHTER from the crowd.

UP ON THE ROOF
Gato has disassembled the rifle.
He packs it in its case.

Looks at the GPS device.
Shuts it off.

GATO
Damn. I really wanted that Camaro.

IN FRONT OF THE BANK
Cams eyes BURN WITH FIRE.
The pain has stopped.

CAM
If you want to HELP me,
tell the fucking cops
to get us that BUS,
so we can THE FUCK OUTTA HERE.
(anger rising)
Fucking ASSHOLE.
How DARE you show up like this.
I KNOW you -- you just want the PUBLICITY.
(hisses)
You don’t give TWO SHITS about me.

GEFFIN
Now you listen to me --

CAM
SHUT UP.
(CLICKS the trigger)
SHUT THE FUCKING FUCK UP!

GEFFIN
How DARE you talk
to your father like that.
It WILL NOT be TOLERATED.

CAM
Oh, yeah?
(beat)
Tolerate THIS, asshole.

She SHOOTS him in the belly. BANG.
He FLIES BACKWARDS.

The cops OPEN FIRE.
Cam RACES back inside, dodging bullets --

Father Knows Best

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Wednesday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 38 of GUN-WILD, as Cam and Rod continue their daring daylight bank robbery in West Hollywood, Cam's father, billionaire medial mogul Geffin Clinch shows up to try and convince her to give herself up ...


EXT. FIRST INTERSTATE BANK - DAY
Burly Police Chief
chats with the SWAT COMMANDER.

Geffin Clinch and an
ACNE-SCARRED UNIFORMED OFFICER
approach them.

ACNE-SCARRED UNIFORMED OFFICER
Chief.
This is the girl’s father.

BURLY POLICE CHIEF
Mr. Clinch.
Thank you for coming.

GEFFIN
Please, call me Geffin.
Tell me what I need to do.

BURLY POLICE CHIEF
We’d like you
to speak with her.
See if you can talk her
into giving herself up.

GEFFIN
I’ll see what I can do.
I do a lot of negotiating
in my business --
but, this --
(trying for tears)
This is my daughter.

EXT. MILLIONS OF MILKSHAKES - ROOF - AT THAT MOMENT
Gato takes position lying down.
Adjusts his sniper-scope rifle.
Aims it at the bank entrance.

GATO
(sees Geffin)
What the fuck?
What’s HE doing here?

IN THE BANK
Cam guides the women
back into the vault.
Closes the door.

Walks over to Rod,
who is pacing furiously.

ROD
(stops)
How you feeling?

CAM
It’s WHITE HOT.
I wanna fucking
KILL SOMEONE.

ROD
(pulls out a joint,
lights it, gives it to her)
Here. This might help.

CAM
Thanks -- Sundance.

ROD
Any time, Butch.

She takes a big hit.
Holds it in. EXHALES.

ROD
Don’t worry, baby.
I’ll get us out of here.
As soon as the bus gets here --

GEFFIN (O.C.)
(LOUD, on a megaphone)
Cameron, this is YOUR FATHER.
Please come outside.
I’d like to TALK TO YOU.

CAM
What the FUCK?

ROD
Your -- FATHER?

CAM
What’s HE doing here?

GEFFIN (O.C.)
Please, Cameron. Let’s talk.
I know we’ve had our -- problems --

CAM
Problems? Problems? PROBLEMS?!
(KA-CHINKS her gun)
I’ll show you a PROBLEM --

Like Butch And Sundance

Happy Tuesday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 37 of GUN-WILD, we re-join Cam and Rod in the middle of the bank robbery, as Rod negotiates with the cops about his demands and releasing one of the hostages. Meanwhile robbery-homicide detective Taya Ralls arrives on the scene, and swears revenge over the murder of the partner ...


INT. FIRST INTERSTATE BANK - DAY
Rod talks on his cell to the cops.

ROD
We want a bus --
that’ll take us
to the airport --
and a plane.
A charter.
You got that?
(listens)
We’ve GOT money.
What THE FUCK
do you think
we’re DOING here?
(listens)
You’ve got ONE HOUR.
Then we kill a hostage.
And then another every hour
until we get what we want.
Got it?

Cam points her guns
at the hostages.

CAM
Get up, all of you.
You’re going into the vault.

They get up.
Stare at her balefully.

CAM
C’mon, MOVE IT.

The hostages trudge
toward the rear.

CAM
Get a MOVE ON,
get your ASSES in there.
(holds her neck)
Goddammit.

Rod listens on the phone.
Goes to the window.

ROD
And tell that fucking
SWAT team to
BACK THE FUCK AWAY
from the building.
(listens)
You want a hostage NOW?

INTERCUT WITH:

EXT. FIRST INTERSTATE BANK - CONTINUOUS
The West Hollywood POLICE CHIEF
(50’s) big and burly,
stands behind a sawhorse
talking on his cell phone.

BURLY POLICE CHIEF
Give us one hostage.
You’ll still have eight.
What’s the harm?

ROD
(looks at his watch)
You’ve now got
FIFTY-SIX MINUTES.
(hangs up, looks at Cam)
Neck still hurting you?

CAM
The closer he gets,
the HOTTER it gets.

Rod goes to her.
Takes Cam in his arms.
Strokes her hair.

ROD
It’s gonna be okay.
They’re gonna get us a bus,
take us to the airport.
Then we’ll go to Bolivia.

CAM
Like Butch and Sundance.

ROD
Uh -- maybe Mexico
would be a better idea.

In the background,
we see Chubby Asian Kid
tip-toe toward the door
along the far wall.

Cam sees him out of
the corner of her eye.

PULLS AWAY from Rod.
Points her gun at the ceiling.

CAM
HEY, YOU -- little FUCK.
What THE FUCK do you think
you’re doing?

She SQUEEZES the trigger. BANG.
Blows a hole in the ceiling.

Tile fragments SPRAY,
RAIN DOWN on him.

OUTSIDE THE BANK
Burly hears the blast.
Angrily PUNCHES a number
in his cell.

BURLY POLICE CHIEF
What THE FUCK
is going on in there?!

DOWN THE STREET
Taya piles out
of a police cruiser.

Start walking toward the bank.
The uniformed officers get out.
Follow her.

TAYA
The bitch killed MY PARTNER.

GRIZZLED VET
(grabs her arm)
We’re out of our
jurisdiction here.

TAYA
(WHIPS her arm away)
Get your hands OFF ME.

INSIDE THE BANK
Cam SHOVES Chubby Asian
in the vault.
Closes the barred door.

CAM
Stay the fuck IN there.

MATRONLY WOMAN TELLER
I have to use the -- ladies room.

Cam rubs her neck. Winces.

CAM
Goddammit.
(beat)
Who else needs to go?

Hot Babe raises her hand.
So does an OLD WOMAN.

CA
Alright, the three of you,
let’s go --

Man Of The People

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Monday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 36 of GUN-WILD, bank robber Cam Clinch's father, billionaire media mogul Geffin Clinch is convinced by his PR firm to go the bank Cam is robbing to try and talk her out of it ... not out of any real concern for her well-being, just because it will 'make him look good,' so he calls off the hit on Cam ... but hit man Gato Weed doesn't get the message, and starts getting ready to do the job ...


INT. CLINCH ESTATE - OFFICE - DAY
Geffin Clinch talks on the phone.
Face beet red. Beyond angry.
He takes a sip of scotch.

GEFFIN
The story’s been
leaked to THE MEDIA?
What the FUCK do I
PAY you flacks for?
(listens)
'Good publicity?'

INTERCUT WITH:

INT. PRESS AGENT’S OFFICE - AT THAT MOMENT
A GLOSSY PR HOTTIE
sits back in her chair.

Presses buttons
on her BlackBerry.
Talks into her hands-free.

GLOSSY PR HOTTIE
The public hates you, Geffin.
All we’ve been able
to do was spin control.
But THIS -- this is your
chance to look sympathetic.

GEFFIN
'Sympathetic?' Really?

GLOSSY PR HOTTIE
Hell, yeah.
The wayward heiress
stick-up queen --
and her distraught father?
I can see you now, on camera,
tears in your eyes.
The public will lap it up.

GEFFIN
I could do that.

GLOSSY PR HOTTIE
Great.
So get your ass
down to the bank right now
and negotiate with her.

GEFFIN
Which bank did she -- ?

GLOSSY PR HOTTIE
The First Interstate Bank
in West Hollywood.

GEFFIN
I’m on my way.

GLOSSY PR HOTTIE
And wear something
‘man of the people,’
like we’ve talked about,
like jeans and a polo shirt.
No Armani.

GEFFIN
Okay. Bye.
(beat)
Oh, shit.
Wait a minute.
(punches another number)
Weed? It’s Clinch.
I’m calling it off.
Call me as soon as
you get this message.
DO NOT do anything.
Got it?

EXT. FIRST FISHERMAN’S BANK - AT THAT MOMENT
A dozen SQUAD CARS are parked in front.
So is a NEWS VAN.

The CREW sets up,
while a SULTRY ASIAN ANCHOR
reads notes.

GATO’S SUV
Pulls up to the curb
across the street.

He gets out,
carrying an attache case.

SLAMS the door.
Looks at the brewing storm.

GATO
Great. Just great.

He turns.
Looks at the business
he’s in front of.

MILLIONS OF MILK SHAKES.
Then up at the roof
of the one-story building.

GATO
'Three Days of the Condor' it is --

Your Hostage, Or Mine?

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Friday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 35 of GUN-WILD, Cam and Rod start to rob the bank, but then have to deal with cops at the front entrance, and then discover that their escape plan has 'a little problem' when they find out there's no back entrance ...


INT. INTERSTATE BANK - MAIN LOBBY - DAY
Cam watches the TELLERS
fill the bag with money.

Rod keeps his gun trained
on the customers on the floor,
and the guard.

CAM
C’mon, HURRY IT UP.
(holds her neck)
SHIT.

ROD
What’s wrong?

CAM
It’s ON AGAIN.
He’s ON HIS WAY.

ROD
Shit. Fuck. Piss.
Motherfucker.
(beat)
GOD-DAMMIT.

CAM
(to the tellers)
HURRY THE FUCK UP!

MALE VOICE (O.C.)
POLICE! Drop your WEAPONS.

SHORT BICYCLE COP
Stands in the doorway.
Aiming his gun
with two hands.

Rod WHIRLS AROUND --
and PUMPS A SHOT
in his chest. BANG.

He FLIES out the door.

ROD
(looks at Cam)
He’s wearing bike shorts?

CAM
It’s WEST HOLLYWOOD.

OUTSIDE
Gay Bicycle Cop SHRIEKS
into his cell phone.

GAY BICYCLE COP
They killed MY PARTNER.
Send BACK-UP, RIGHT AWAY.
It’s a, a -- BANK ROBBERY.

IN THE BANK
Cam GRABS the money.
Waves her gun
at the tellers.

CAM
Both of you,
out here with the rest.

They walk out from behind.
Join the group on the floor.

ROD
(to Hot Babe)
Show me where
the back entrance is.

HOT BABE TELLER
There is no --
back entrance.

ROD
All these podunk joints
have a back door.
SHOW ME.

HOT BABE TELLER
I’m sorry, we don’t.
(bites her lip)
Please don’t shoot me.

CAM
FUCK. What are we gonna do?

ROD
We’re gonna call the cops.
Negotiate.
(to the customers)
Somebody give me
their cell phone.

Everyone raises theirs.
Rod chooses a phone
from the hand of a
CHUBBY ASIAN KID (18).

ROD
Look at this
space-age shit.
(starts punching buttons, then)
Hello?
Gimmee West Hollywood
police headquarters.
(listens)
What’s MY BUSINESS?
How about I’m holding
a BANK FULL OF HOSTAGES
AT GUNPOINT?
(listens)
Sure. I’ll hold.
(looks at Cam)
Law enforcement
sure ain’t what
it used to be --

Break Your Cherry

Happy Thursday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 34 of GUN-WILD, we start to hurtle toward the exciting conclusion of our story ... when trigger-happy runaway heiress Cam Clinch and her wayward boyfriend Rod Funk storm into the First Interstate Bank with shotguns and begin 'the mother of all bank robberies.'


INT. FIRST INTERSTATE BANK - MAIN LOBBY - DUSK
A small joint.
Four teller windows.
Two are empty.

FAT BANK MANAGER
sits at a desk
in the corner.

A single GUARD, a
tall, thin older guy.

A handful of CUSTOMERS
wait in line.

Cam and Rod BURST
in the door.
Shotguns aloft.

ROD
This is A ROBBERY!

CAM
Everybody on the floor, NOW!

The CUSTOMERS get down.
Crying. Whimpering.

Cam RACES over
to the teller windows.

SHOOTS the glass. BANG.
It SHATTERS.

The TELLERS scream.

CAM
Put your hands
in the air where
I CAN SEE ‘EM.

They do. Trembling.

HOT BABE TELLER
Don’t SHOOT, don’t SHOOT.

MATRONLY WOMAN TELLER
P-Please don’t h-hurt us.

CAM
Do what I say,
and no one
will get hurt.

ROD
Points his gun
at the guard.
Who’s wet his pants.

ROD
Gimmee your piece, Pops.
(takes it)
Looks like someone
didn’t wear their
Depends today.
(beat)
Get on the floor
with the others,
and try not to
get piss on ‘em.

The guard, shaking,
walks over.
Lays down.

CAM
THROWS a duffle bag
at Hot Babe.

CAM
Start filling it up.
No MARKED BILLS.
And no fucking DIE PACK,
we know all about that SHIT.

ROD
Points his gun
at Fat Bank Manager.

ROD
You, Tons of Fun,
go join your customers.
If you behave,
we’ll serve a snack, later.

He nods, trembling.
Goes to where they are.
Lays down.

OUTSIDE
Two BICYCLE COPS
wait for the light
across the street.

SMALL BICYCLE COP
That was a gun shot.

GAY BICYCLE COP
You sure?

SMALL BICYCLE COP
I know a fucking gun shot
when I hear one.
(points)
Over there,
at the bank.

GAY BICYCLE COP
Oooh. My first bank robbery.

SMALL BICYCLE COP
Glad I could
break your cherry.
Let’s go --

Boy's Town

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Wednesday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 33 of GUN-WILD, after eluding the cops -- and the hitman her father has hired to kill her -- trigger-happy trust fund heiress Cam Clinch and her heister boyfriend Rod Funk arrive at the West Hollywood bank, and get ready to rob it ...


EXT. SIDE STREET - DAY
Rod and Cam turn off Westwood Blvd.
Walk down a side street.
They get to a vintage Jaguar convertible.

ROD
Holy shit. There IS a god.

They hop in.
Rod fiddles with the ignition wires.
STARTS it.

CAM
Jesus died for somebody’s sins, but not mine.

And they TAKE OFF.

EXT. WILSHIRE BOULEVARD - AT THAT MOMENT
Gato drives the SUV slowly in the right lane.

Pulls into a parking space.
Grabs the GPS. Looks at it.

GATO
They’re right nearby.

THE RED LIGHT
Is blinking. But not moving.

THE JAGUAR
ROARS east on Wilshire.

ROD
How are you doing?

CAM
(rubs her neck)
It’s -- getting better.

ROD
Hold on.

He PUNCHES the gas.
The car TAKES OFF.

INT. CADILLAC SUV - AT THAT MOMENT
Gato looks at the GPS.

GATO
They’re MOVING.

He eases out the parking space --

EXT. WILSHIRE BOULEVARD - CONTINUOUS
And gets RAMMED by a pickup truck.

The SUV goes SKIDDING into traffic,
gets CLIPPED by another vehicle,
and BANGS into a parked car.
Nearby, a SIREN WHOOP-WHOOPS.

IN THE SUV
Gato grips the steering wheel.
Blood drips down from his temple.

He picks up his phone.
Dials a number.

GATO
He’s gonna be PISSED.

EXT. SANTA MONICA BOULEVARD - A LITTLE LATER - DAY
The Jaguar drives into West Hollywood. ‘Boy’s Town.’
Neatly trimmed foliage in the median.

Cute, quaint little shops and eateries.
And, of course -- GAY MEN milling about.

INT. JAGUAR CONVERTIBLE - MOVING - CONTINUOUS
Rod slows down. Looks around.

ROD
It’s -- changed so much.

CAM
Think I’m gonna like being a fag.

ROD
That mean I can do you in the ass?

CAM
My ass is an exit, NOT an entrance.

ROD
Glad to see you’re feeling better.

CAM
(looks, points)
There’s the bank.
On the next corner.

ROD
Then let’s go make a withdrawal --
and get the fuck out of Dodge.

He pulls over. Stops.
They both tie bandanas around their necks.
Reload their weapons. Look at each other.

EXT. FIRST INTERSTATE BANK - CONTINUOUS
A small, neighborhood red brick bank on the corner.
The Jaguar is parked in front.

Cam and Rod get out.
They pull their scarves up
over their noses.
Look at each other.

ROD
You know, when I was a kid,
I always thought I'd
grow up to be a hero.

CAM
It’s too late for that now.

INT. POLICE CRUISER - MOVING
Taya sits in the back seat,
looks out the window.

Searching the mass of commuters
on the sidewalk.

TAYA
They were both wearing
jeans, baseball caps and shades.

GRIZZLED VET
We’ve gone around this block three times.

TAYA
Then go around the NEXT ONE.
We have to FIND THEM --
they KILLED BOBBY.

GRIZZLED VET
Okay, okay.
(to Rookie)
Open the glove box.

Rookie does.
Pulls out a pint of bourbon.

BLACK ROOKIE
Hey, this is booze.

GRIZZLED VET
No shit, Sipowitz --
you’ll make sergeant in no time.

BLACK ROOKIE
But it’s against regulations.

GRIZZLED VET
Give it to HER.

He does, reluctant.
Taya opens it. Takes a swig.

TAYA
Thanks, I needed that.
(looks at the bottle)
He loved -- bourbon.