Happy Hump Day, hardboiled-pulpsters! It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, a place violence. Murder. Lethal weapons. And really hot chicks CARRYING lethal weapons ... right here, at the coolest joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.
In today's chapter from your favorite spy thriller NOWHERE GIRLS, the heat gets turned up after agents Cherry Nation and April Street escape the FBI in a stolen chopper, with federal agents Sunday Sparks and Max Cargo hot on their trail ...
EXT. SHOPPING MALL ENTRANCE - NIGHT
Sunday and Max JUMP into their vehicle. SLAM the doors.
INT. FBI SUV - CONTINUOUS
Max GUNS the engine.
ROARS out of the parking lot.
(into her cell)
Sir? It’s Sparks.
They’re travelling north in a chopper --
INT. LOS ANGELES FBI HEADQUARTERS - NIGHT
The LA branch office. A bee hive of activity.
Dozens of AGENTS man workstations, collect data.
Sitting in a corner office is
FBI DIRECTOR CLINT RUFF (60’s).
Tall, wizened, tough as nails.
Right now he’s sipping a cup of coffee,
talking on the phone --
How the hell did you FUCK THIS UP?
You HAD them in the palm of your fucking HANDS.
I’m sorry, sir.
We’re going to get them, don’t worry --
Do you realize I had fly out here to BABY-SIT you?
That the White House is so far up my ass
we’ve chosen a BRIDAL REGISTRY?
He reaches over.
Picks up a bottle of bourbon.
Pours a hit in his mug.
Takes a big gulp.
I’m sorry, sir. We almost HAD THEM,
but this black op commandeered our chopper --
I KNOW that, you stupid BITCH.
I’ve seen the FOOTAGE on the SATELLITE.
Oh. Right --
Now get your asses in gear and GET them, GOT IT?
Uh -- can we get another chopper?
Being refueled. On it’s way in ten minutes.
And if you fuck this up, Sparks, I’ll have your ASS,
despite the fact that you’re a fucking DYKE. Comprende?
Yes, sir. Consider it done. Goodbye.
INT. FBI SUV - MOVING - NIGHT
She clicks the phone shut. Sighs. Looks at Max. Eyes teary.
Hey. Are you okay?
Yeah, I --
Sorry. I -- so unprofessional --
Look. You’re a fucking AMAZING op. So am I.
And together we’re gonna get them, OKAY?
And for what’s worth,
I’m sorry I’ve been such an asshole.
My wife left me last month,
and I’ve been kinda fucked up ever since.
You don’t wanna KNOW
how long it’s been since I’ve got laid --
You and me both --
You’re not such a tough nut after all.
Tell anyone, and I’ll fucking kill you.
INT. FBI HEADQUARTERS - CLINT RUFF’S OFFICE - NIGHT
Clint dials a number. Takes a big sip of scotch. Listens.
I’ve delayed them a little bit. Happy?
INT. HONEY’S UNDERGROUND LAIR - OFFICE - CONTINUOUS
Honey sits at her desk. Feet up. Taps her Bluetooth.
Swirls her snifter of brandy.
As a fucking clam.
You realize how DANGEROUS this is?
Darling, it comes with the territory.
(takes a sip)
But you know that.
Don’t remind me.
And don’t forget -- what happens in DC, stays in DC --