Onto today's joint from LEGS, and this one's a real shocker. Better put down that hot pocket. You might burn yourself.
In today's installment, demented German snuff filmmaker Klaus Speer captures private eye Carrie Love's ex, patrolwoman Megan Paul, and then shoots his latest cinema verite ... which has an unspeakable climax ...
EXT. BUNGALOW - NIGHT
A techno crime theme percolates over shaky,
hand-held footage of an old bungalow
behind the Venice boardwalk.
Jorel carries a steadicam on his shoulder.
Samms holds a strobe. Klaus leads the way.
He slips on a pig snout half-mask,
which covers his eyes and nose.
(into the mike)
Tonight on our show,
a lovely officer of the law
will die a bizarre death
at the hand of a twisted filmmaker.
What makes this murder even more chilling,
is that you’re going to see it
through the eyes of the killer.
They approach the door.
Klaus starts picking the lock.
INT. MEGAN'S BEDROOM - NIGHT
Megan's crashed out.
A huge ROTTWEILER snores at her feet.
The bedroom door slowly opens.
Kinky crew shuffles in.
The canine lets out a rumble.
Some poodle dream.
Nice doggie --
The dog stirs. Wakes.
The strobe FLASHES.
Klaus pulls out a gun.
SHOOTS the dog -- THWAP.
Megan bolts upright.
Blinded by the lights.
What the fuck are you --
Klaus CHARGES the bed.
JUMPS on her.
CRAMS a rag in her mouth.
She STRUGGLES violently.
Shakes. Then goes limp.
(big smile for the camera)
Coming up next,
our fallen angel takes flight to the beach --
where she has her last stand in the sand.
EXT. BEACH - DAWN
A secluded cove somewhere south of Malibu.
Sun is rising. Dappled pink and grey streaks smear the sky.
Waves CRASH against the rocks in a spray of foam.
Megan is buried in the sand up to her neck,
gagged, eyes terrified.
A breaker POUNDS behind her,
then washes over her head.
She WHIPS her head back and forth.
Seaweed on her eyes.
Klaus shoots with the steadicam. Samms holds a boom.
Jorel reflects the available light with a white board.
It's getting light out.
We gotta get outta here
before the fucking joggers come by.
Before the climax?
What are you, a story analyst?
Another wave CRASHES on top of her.
Then rolls away.
Her neck SNAPS -- crack.
Goes limp. Eyes forever frozen.
Fade to black.
Klaus zooms in, circles around her.
Samms rushes over to Megan's lifeless head.
Takes out the gag.
What the fuck are you doing?
Get out of the shot!
I'm gonna resolve the character arc!
He pulls down his pants --
as another wave crashes down.
delighted, grins lewdly.
Maybe we call this one --
"From Here to Depravity."