Opiate Of The Masses

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Friday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 27 of HIT & RUN HOLIDAY, it's a 'Friday cliffhanger' when fugitive screenwriter Friday Foster arrives at White Line Pictures armed to the gills, ready to get revenge. Meanwhile, mercenary-for-hire Bland Loosener is hot on her tail, right across the street ...


EXT. ROBERTSON BOULEVARD - MORNING
Friday steps off the coffee shop patio,
turns left.

Starts walking south.
On a mission.

UP THE BLOCK
Bland comes FLYING
down the sidewalk
toward the intersection.

A SUIT
saunters toward the corner.
Talking on his hands-free.

SUIT
Listen to me.
Ashton Kutcher was BORN
to play ‘Young Orson Wells’ --

Bland CRASHES into him, BANG.
The bike goes FLYING.

The suit CRACKS
against a telephone pole.
Hits the ground.
Out cold.

Bland gets up.
Brushes himself off.
People stop. Stare.

BLAND
What are you looking at?
At ease, go about your business.

He pulls the PDA
out of his pocket.

Looks at the blinking light.
Sees up ahead --
the coffee shop.
Takes off.

UP THE BLOCK
Carrie’s wheels come
flying down Robertson.

The Vespa close behind.

A DOG
runs into the street.

KELLY
sees it.
SLAMS on the brakes.
SCREECHING rubber.

KELLY
Move, doggie!

CARRIE
tries to stop, but
POPS A WHEELIE instead,
and IN SLOW MOTION
flies through the air --
and HITS the car’s
rear window, CRASH.

Glass SPRAYS like water.
The back half of the Vespa
sticks out the rear window.

Carrie lies on the roof.
Dazed. She jumps off.

Dashes to the passenger side door.
Gets in. Kelly stares. Open-mouthed.

CARRIE
Don’t say a word.
Just drive.

EXT. UPSCALE COFFEE SHOP - AT THAT MOMENT
Bland comes outside.
Looks around.

Carrie’s car pulls over to
the curb across the street. Parks.

KELLY
sees Bland.

KELLY
There he is.
Across the street.

CARRIE
(grabs the door handle)
C’mon, let’s go.

KELLY
Where do you get
all that energy?

CARRIE
I need -- to help her.

PUSH IN ON Carrie’s face.
Eyes wet. Determined.

EXT. WHITE LINE PICTURES - MORNING
Men Without Hats’ scary-surreal
cover of The Beatles’
I AM THE WALRUS crunches over --

Friday. Standing in front of the entrance.

FRIDAY
Goo-goo-ga-joob.

She SLAMS through the doors.
STOMPS through the lobby.

Behind the security desk,
MR. GEORGE smiles toothily at Friday.
Shiny, beaming Jamaican face full of joy.

MR. GEORGE
Meess Friday.
Nice to see yoo.
Yoo come for a visit?

FRIDAY
Screwy rabbit --
visits are for kids.

Mr. George stares at her.
Uncomprehending.

Carrie goes to the elevator bank.
Presses ‘up.’

FRIDAY
That’s right, I forgot.
You don’t watch TV, do you?

MR. GEORGE
No, ma’am. Ees all garbage.

FRIDAY
Opiate of the masses.
Dulling our nation’s senses.
One show at a time --

THE ELEVATOR DOORS
open. Friday walks over.
Steps in.

MR. GEORGE
Yoo okay, Miss Friday?
You acting kinda -- strange.

FRIDAY
(as the doors close)
I’m a stranger in a
strange land, George.

THE ELEVATOR DOORS
open. The sixth floor.

Where the big boys live.
Friday walks out.

Looks at a giant cardboard standee
of the studio’s action franchise.
‘DRIVE-BY 3.’

Two good-looking BLACK COPS
stand back-to-back.

Brandishing shotguns.
Grinning like the
archetypes they are.

FRIDAY
Move over, boys.
There’s a new
anti-hero in town --