FULL BODY: Let Them Eat Cock

Happy Friday, crime motherfuckers! It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent, hardboiled fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 18 of FULL BODY, we return to The International, DC's most exclusive 'gentleman's spa,' where security guard Rod Katz and evil criminal mastermind Hiroko eliminate undercover op/receptionist Reynolds Tan -- on tape. Meanwhile, Princess Stefanie Von Taxi Und Drang is celebrating her birthday at the Croatian embassy, and mob boss/club owner Yuri Vlaovic is in attendance. But what he doesn't know is a certain femme fatale is also there ...


EXT. THE INTERNATIONAL - REAR ALLEY - NIGHT
Thievery Corporation’s percolating reggae-dub remix
of Mother Africa’s FUN-DA-MENTAL over --

Reynolds. Having a smoke.
Pissed off. Business as usual.

ANGLE ON --

A DUMPSTER near the end of the alley.
A large CARDBOARD BOX lies on top of it.
A small hole in the middle faces us.

IN THE BOX
is Hiroku.
Focusing his 24 frame digital video camera.

HIROKU
(into headset)
Subject is in position.
Rolling tape.

The rear door opens.
Out comes Rod.

Walks over to Reynolds.
Holding a cigarette.

CAMERA POV
Reynolds in close up.
Sees Rod. Makes a face.

ROD (O.C.)
Hey. Gotta light, partner?

REYNOLDS
I’m not your fucking partner.
(offers lighter)
I didn’t know you smoked.

ROD (O.C.)
There’s a lot you don’t know about me.

REYNOLDS
You’re confusing me with
someone who gives a fuck.
Now go smoke somewhere else.
I’ll contact you when I need you,
you fucking scumbag.

ROD (O.C.)
What a waste of such hot snatch.

REYNOLDS
EXCUSE ME?

HIROKU
pulls out a small remote.
Fingers a button.

A MAILBOX
at the opening of the alley EXPLODES.

REYNOLDS
sees it.

REYNOLDS
What the fuck?

ROD
whips out a sawed-off shotgun.
Takes aim.

ROD
Me love you long time --

He SHOOTS -- BANG.
Reynold’s head EXPLODES
in a million pieces,
SPRAYING BLOOD and BRAINS.

ROD
No tickie, no washie.

INT. THE INTERNATIONAL - CORRIDOR - MOMENTS LATER
Summer and Lindsey brush by Rod.

SUMMER
It was a gunshot, I heard it.

LINDSEY
No, it was an explosion.

ROD
(stops, turns)
It was an explosion,
AND THEN a gunshot.

AYANNA and CATALINA appear.
Holding hands.

AYANNA
Well, whatever the fuck it was,
let’s get the fuck outta here,
the place is going to be crawling with cops.

ETYA appears.

ETYA
Everyone remain calm.
Was probably car backfire.
Why don’t you all take small break.
Calm nerves a bit.
There’s no need to be --

BANG. The rear door FLIES OFF its hinges -- BANG.
In storms A HALF-DOZEN UNDERCOVER COPS in riot gear.

ETYA
Scared?

EXT. CROATIAN EMBASSY - NIGHT
The trashy, go-go stripper-sleaze of
My Life With the Thrill Kill Kult’
HEELZ AFIRE over --

A turn-of-the-century mini-castle
on a bustling DC avenue.
Lit like the Kremlin.

Clogged with limos.
Glittering dignitaries slide inside
the gate on depraved wings.

INT. CROATIAN EMBASSY - BALLROOM - CONTINUOUS
Cavernous expanse turned club/brothel/dungeon/throne room.
It’s Princess Stefanie von Taxi und Drang’s fantasy ball.

Decadent. Glamorous.
With a royal coat of arms.

Mirrored balls, Klieg lights FLASH over --
A pair of MARINES in dress whites. Holding hands.

A masked MAN dressed like a cowboy rides a
NAKED WOMAN on all fours wearing a saddle.

A DEVIL spins records. Leers.
Pops pills. Shakes his tail.

A QUADRUPLE AMPUTEE DRAG QUEEN
on a divan carried by a quartet
of BEEFY MUSCLE MEN in black leather.

A pair of NUBILE TWINS done up like showgirls
make out at the bar.

BARTENDER watches with greedy eyes.
Licks a joint.

A NAKED WOMAN on a horse
sways to the music.
Sips champagne.

TOWERING DOMINATRIX snaps a leash.
Pulls along a SLAVE BOY.

A MASKED MAN
in a tux, very James Bond,
sips an oversized martini.

Speaks to a YOUNG NYMPH.
Naughty in a girl scout uniform.

CAMERA pulls in.
We realize it’s YURI.

YURI
You need protection
from big, bad wolf?

NAUGHTY GIRL SCOUT
(giggles)
Oh, yes.
He said he wants to eat my --porridge.

YURI
What if I’M big, bad wolf?

NAUGHTY GIRL SCOUT
You’ll huff and you’ll puff?

YURI
And I blow panties down.

The music STOPS.

DEVIL DJ
leans into the microphone.

DEVIL DJ
Ladies and gentlemen!
I am proud to present
the royal flower of Dalmatia!
The Honorable Princess
Stefanie von Taxi und Drang,
Empress of the Fantasy Ball!
(beat)
Happy fucking BIRTHDAY!

PRINCESS STEFANIE
starts descending from above on a swing.
Resplendent as some kinda
Marie Antoinette from hell.

Beautiful. Regal.
High atop her bouffant do,
a small, lethal-looking guillotine.

Corks POP.
The throng CHEERS.

The princess is lowered down,
down, down onto a gilded throne.

She waves. Haughty. Imperial.
Beaming. Glorious.

She pulls a string.
The blade drops --

CHOPS a carrot in half with a CRACK.

PRINCESS STEFANIE
Let them eat cock!