FULL BODY: Cock-Blocked

It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 23 of FULL BODY, the shit really starts hitting the fan. After the police have interrogated the girls about Reynolds Tan's murder, Etya gives them the rest of the night off, and they go their separate ways. Meanwhile, crime boss/club owner Yuri Vlaovic is in a hide speed chase with his ex-wife Mavra and her entourage, who are on their way to the club ... to get revenge ...


INT. POLICE PRECINCT - CORRIDOR - REAR ENTRANCE - NIGHT
Summer and Lindsey walk toward the rear exit.
Just as Ayanna and Catalina go out the door.

MALE VOICE (O.C.)
Lindsey.

LINDSEY
Gus, hey --

Gus appears. Smiling.

GUS
How was your interrogation?
Did you spill the beans?

SUMMER
(to Lindsey)
This is the guy you -- ?

LINDSEY
(nods, goofy grin)
Trained seal --

ETYA (O.C.)
Girls! There you are!
Come here, NOW!

ETYA
in the doorway.
Hands on hips. Impatient.

LINDSEY
turns. Looks at Gus.

LINDSEY
Sorry, beefcake. Duty calls.

GUS
Cock-blocked. Story of my life.

EXT. K STREET - NIGHT
The decadent, harlot on drugs trashy go-go snarl
of My Life With The Thrill Kill Kult’s
HOT BLOOD RISIN’ over --

Mavra’s chopper FLIES down the avenue.

A HOMELESS MAN staggers,
weaves into traffic.

The evil beauty FLINGS out arm.
SMACKS him in the head.

BANG. He goes down.

MAVRA
Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Tires SCREECH. She turns a corner --

Silke’s bike,
Elvissa in the sidecar,
ROARS after them.

EXT./INT. YURI’S LAMBORGINI - MOVING
Yuri JAMS the gearshift. PUMPS the gas.
He TURNS. Fishtails on wet pavement.

EXT. POLICE PRECINCT - PARKING LOT
Etya holds open a cab door.
Gestures to the girls.

ETYA
Go somewhere,
take rest of night off.
Just don’t go back to salon.

SUMMER
What’s wrong?

LINDSEY
You look scared, what’s going on?

ETYA
(gets in, SLAMS door)
I can’t tell you, is emergency.
So make like rabbit feet
and be energized.
I’ll see you tomorrow.

And the cab TAKES OFF in a SCREECH of rubber.

CATALINA
(takes her hand)
I’m hungry. Wanna get a bite?

AYANNA
(bites Catalina’s arm)
Only if you bite back.

LINDSEY
C’mon, let’s grab a cab.
Before they eat each other.

SUMMER
Yeah -- and I just had an idea.
(smiles)
Lina.

LINDSEY
(smiles)
Where do you want to go -- Wednesday?

PUSH IN ON Summer’s face.
Eyes twinkling.

SUMMER
Surprise.

EXT. 1600 PENNSYLVANIA AVENUE - AT THAT MOMENT
The drum-and-bass propeller-swirling dervish
spy guitar of Paul Oakenfold's SWITCH ON takes off.

Mavra ROARS by the White House. Points. YELLS.

MAVRA
Is where lame duck lives!

Silke pulls up alongside her.
Shakes his fist.

SILKE
Imperialist pig!

ELVISSA
Not MY Bush!

They all LAUGH.

YURI’S LAMBORGINI
approaches from behind.

INT. YURI’S LAMBORGINI - MOVING

YURI
(sees Mavra, excited)
There you are, my little skakavak!
Come to Poppa!

Just then, the ENGINE DIES.
The car slows. Stops.

FEMALE ROBOTIC VOICE (V.O.)
Out of gas.

Yuri POUNDS on the steering wheel.

YURI
No shit, stupid cunt!

He KICKS open the door.
JUMPS out into the street.

WHIRLS around.
Looking. Looking. Then sees --

A WOMAN
getting into a Porsche SUV
parked on the other side.

YURI
sprints into traffic.
Cars WHOOSH by. Horns HONK.

ANGRY YOUNG GUY
Asshole!

YURI
Fuck your mother!

He reaches the Porsche.
GRABS the door handle.

WHIPS out a pistol.
BANGS on the window.

YURI
Open up! Open up!

The doors CLICK.
The WOMAN glances at him.
Weird smile.

Mouths ‘bullet-proof.’
GUNS the engine. TAKES OFF.

YURI
Shit! Shit! Shit!

He WHIRLS AROUND.
Looks. Sees --

AN ANGRY MUSTACHED MOTORCYCLE COP
pulls up behind him, lights FLASHING. Stops.

JUMPS off his bike.
WHIPS OUT his piece. Takes aim.

MUSTACHED MOTORCYCLE COP
Put the gun down,
or you’re hamburger meat!

YURI
Is alright, officer.
Have explanation.

He DROPS his piece.
It CLATTERS to the ground.

The cop walks over to Yuri, gun drawn.
Pulls out handcuffs.

MUSTACHED MOTORCYCLE COP
Who the fuck do you think you are,
Tony Soprano?

Yuri SUCKER-PUNCHES
the cop in the face, BANG.
He goes down.

YURI
Hell, no. He’s wimp. Goes to shrink.

Walks over to the cop’s bike.
Gets on. HITS the gas pedal.
The engine ROARS. Yuri smiles.

YURI
Fat fuck eats too much.
Disgusting, American pig.
And besides -- I’m real.

INT. CHECKER CAB - MOVING
Etya, in the back seat,
POUNDS on the window separator.

ETYA
Faster! Go faster!

The ANGRY BLACK CABBIE turns around.
YELLS at Etya.

ANGRY BLACK CABBIE
I’m going the speed limit!
I’m not gonna get a fucking ticket
for some skanky white bitch!

ETYA
Skanky white BITCH?!
Negro motherfucker!
How DARE you!

And, in an adrenaline rage,
Etya leans back.

Raises her legs.
KICKS OUT the separator.

Grips him in a headlock
with taught ankles.

The driver SWERVES.
Panicking. Gagging.

ANGRY BLACK CABBIE
Ak! Ug! Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah!

Etya steers the wheel with her heels.
SHRIEKS with laughter.

ETYA
Hit the brakes, BOY.
Or I SNAP your chicken NECK!

He does. The car SWERVES.
Stops by the side of the road.

ETYA
Open the fucking door!

He does. GASPING for air.
And, like spinning a top,

she WHIRLS him out of the car
onto the pavement, THWAP.

Etya jumps in the driver’s seat.
SLAMS the door shut.

ETYA
Next time passenger say
to go faster, do it!
Customer always right!